Tony Abbott : I Want To Lead Liberal Party Death March Into Greater Oblivion

By Darryl Mason

Oh please please please make Tony "Too Honest" Abbott the new leader of the Liberal Party. He's now offered himself up as a human sacrifice to Julia Gillard :

Outgoing health minister Tony Abbott has declared he will challenge Malcolm Turnbull for the leadership of the Liberal Party.

The race is on to fill the Liberal power vacuum after Peter Costello's shock decision not to nominate for the job yesterday.

"I'm offering myself as a candidate, I don't know how the numbers are likely to pan out," Mr Abbott said this morning.

"Obviously we're mourning our politically fallen colleagues but I will be a candidate. "

"I think there are going to be some tricky problems of party management but I think I have reasonably good people skills.

"It's going to be very important to hold the Government accountable.

"I think it's very important that we're fair dinkum with the Australian people."

That would be a nice change. Please lead by example, Mr Abbott.

"I think in the months and years ahead, people are going to want substance, not spin from their political leaders."

He did learn something from the massacre of the Coalition at Saturday's election after all.

Abbott has clearly decided to ignore the advice of his mates who reportedly had been pushing him to give up politics and "go home to his wife" when the Coalition lost the election.

Tony Abbott is already about as popular as a kick in the nuts with most Australians. Having him pout, hiss, stare demonically, yell, shriek and whine as opposition leader for the next three years will steer the Liberals the way of the Democrats. Total oblivion.

Plus, with Tony "Too Raw" Abbott as the bullhead of the New Far Right, room will be made for Alex Hawke to be given a 'voice' in the Liberal Party, now he's completed his coup crusade and has been installed as the member for Mitchell, in Sydney's Bible Belt.

If you don't know who Alex Hawke is yet, don't worry, you'll hear about him soon enough. His first speech to Parliament will likely feature his favourite mantra about the power and beauty of what happens when Christianity Meets Capitalism.

That's exactly what Australian conservative politics needs right now, the rise of wealthy evangelicals. After all, look how well it's worked out in the United States with President Bush.


Tony Abbott Furious At Success Of Dirty, Rotten Labor Trick He Didn't Think Of Pulling First

Tony Abbott's Last Stand : Why The Liberal Party Won't Lose The Election

Greg Sheridan Pegs Tony Abbott As The New Messiah Of The New Liberals

Glenn Milne : Finally, My Hero Costello Will Lead The Liberal Party!

Oh....dammit!

Glenn Milne has been barracking from the pages of The Australian and Sydney's Daily Telegraph for Peter Costello to take over the leadership of the Liberal Party for so long, you'd be forgiven for thinking that Glenn lights candles in front of a Costello shrine in the corner of his bedroom each evening, while chanting, "Soon Peter, soon you will lead..."

For almost a decade Glenn Milne has been working centre stage, and behind the scenes, to help score the leadership of the Liberal Party for the man he just can't get enough of. If Costello was Britney Spears, Milne would be running the fanclub and the chatroom.

Then finally, finally, it happened. John Howard lost the election and announced, late in the evening last Saturday that this was it, he was out of politics forever. The leadership of the Liberal Party was open.

Glenn Milne pounced. By 11pm on Saturday night, shortly after Howard announced his retirement, Milne's first breathless story announcing Peter Costello would become leader of the Liberal Party was up on the Sunday Mail website.




From The Sunday Mail :

Victorian Peter Costello will take over a decimated Coalition unopposed as Opposition Leader, knowing he would have been able to mount a stronger fight against Kevin Rudd and Labor.

Mr Costello has long held the view that if Mr Howard had stood aside months ago and allowed him to establish his vision for Australia, the Coalition would have had a better chance of winning last night.

There is unlikely to be any credible challenge to Mr Costello when he formally stands as leader at the first Liberal Party caucus meeting.

Previous contenders - Alexander Downer, Brendan Nelson, Tony Abbott and Malcolm Turnbull - have all faded under the weight of their own mistakes.

By 7am, Sunday morning, Milne had reworked the story for the Sunday Telegraph to include a firm commitment from Costello that he would seek the leadership of the Liberal Party :




From the Sunday Telegraph :

Peter Costello will take over a defeated Coalition unopposed, in the knowledge he would have been able to mount a stronger fight against Kevin Rudd.

Mr Costello considers politics to be his vocation and does not want to repeat Mr Latham's mistake - abandoning his career too early and living the rest of his life wondering "what if''.

Within hours of this Glenn Milne "exclusive" appearing online, Peter Costello was standing in front of the media, with his wife by his side, announcing he didn't want to be leader of the Liberals, and would soon be leaving politics completely.

Whoops.

Eyes Show Devastation Of Shocking Defeat



Two excellent accounts of John Howard's last day as prime minister :

'That's How It Goes' - Howard Campaigns For Every Last Vote


And the day after, with a bit of the night before as well :

24 Hours In The Life Of An Ex-Prime Minister


The rage and bitterness on show in these stories from shocked Liberal supporters towards non-Howard voters is disturbing. What happened to graciousness in defeat?

So much for all that alleged violence of the Howard Haters.

Speaking of which, a whip around the online newspaper sites reveal that just about everyone connected with the 'conservative' side of politics this morning has already become one of the Howard Haters they used to so very recently revile.

Much of this New Howard Hatred comes from the dawning horror that the Liberals are in ruins, for the next few months at least, and that Howard purposely shafted Costello and destroyed any chance he had of becoming prime minister, or even an enthusiastic leader of the Liberal Party.

No wonder Costello decided to pass on the leadership. Who'd want to hang around this grim and explosive pack of bitterly sore losers for another six or ten years?

Cheers Matt

Journo, and one very fine and very entertaining writer, Matt Price died today from brain tumours. He was quoted on Sunday morning on Insiders, by the host, who had visited Matt and said he was putting up a good fight. Hours later he was dead.

Damn shame.

Matt was a great bloke.

A wonderful obituary can be read here - "life is fragile..."

According to Insiders host Barrie Cassidy, Matt Price had one final prediction for Australian politics, of the kind that he was often happy to make in his writing, and it went like this : Kevin Rudd's loud declaration that "The Buck Stops With Me!" will be the millstone around his neck for years to come.

A solid final call.

Here's Matt Price's blog archive from The Australian site. Hopefully they will leave it up as a permanent memorial to his excellent work, and his genuinely interested and often fun interaction and feedback with many of those who commented at his blog.

If you've never read Matt Price's work, hit the archive, dive back a few pages and check his predictions before the election was called. You won't be disappointed.

Australian politics desperately needs more fine and witty writers like Matt Price.

Howard "No Doubt Well Pleased At His Work" Of Destroying Liberal Party

The New Blame Game : Why The Liberals Were Massacred At Election

By Darryl Mason

The John Howard Liberals have been effectively destroyed at the 2007 Australian federal election. It's a stunning victory, and Kevin Rudd will go down in history as the Labor leader who brilliantly defeated the supposedly unbeatable John Howard.

The Liberals, and conservative media, will never admit it, but Labor won because they ran a smoother, far more effective campaign and had a better dream to sell, and they sold it with skill, focus and patience.

The Liberal Party is already tearing itself apart. Alexander Downer's interview on Sunday morning on Insiders was absolutely hopeless. Expect him to join the conga line of "fuck this, I'm outta here!" Liberals moving on to very greener pastures in the corporate world. Costello will be first, Downer most likely second, followed by Tony Abbott.

David Flint, salty monarchist and paranoid conservative, has kicked off the "We Wuz Robbed!" campaign, and previews the long months to come of rampant conspiracy theorising amongst Liberals as he decides to blame :

....internal Liberal fighting and media bias for the poor Coalition showing and giving Kevin Rudd "a dream run".

Ah yes, media bias.

Not the media bias from Andrew Bolt, or Tim Blair, or Miranda Devine or Piers Akerman or most of the editorialists at The Australian newspaper. They were all for shredding Rudd and Labor without pause, so that was fair enough in Flint's view.

He's talking about the 'media bias' of the dreaded ABC, Sydney Morning Herald and Melbourne Age. Curse those Evil Lefties!

But Flint has more theories than just 'media bias'. Dark theories. Of 'own goals' inside the Liberal Party. There was a plot, dammit! And Flint knows all about it. But he won't elaborate. Naturally :

He also blamed "a member of cabinet" who he would not name who he suspected of having leaked information detrimental to the Liberal cause, first that the Prime Minister had lost the confidence of Cabinet later APEC, and then that Malcolm Turnbull had tried to get him to ratify Kyoto. The Liberal party will be "shaken" for some time," he said.

This sort of stuff will be very entertaining to watch in the next few weeks.

Former foreign minister Alexander Downer has some theories on why they were slaughtered at the election as well :

(He) has put the Coalition's federal election defeat down bad timing for himself and his Liberal colleagues.

"I think people just think it's time," the outgoing foreign minister told a function in his South Australian electorate of Mayo, which he retained.

"People think we've been in for about 11-½ years, they are comfortable with Australia, they think we've done a good thing but it's time for a change."

Mark Vaile echoes Downer, as he offers his explanation for why the Howard government was nuked at the election :

“Our commitment to the war against terrorism, in some quarters, affected our vote,” he said.

“There seemed to be a sense of just wanting to change for change's sake in Australia.”

Ahh, yes. The Timing. It was all about The Change.

That's what Liberals will keep telling themselves and each other. We weren't voted out because people were sick of us, or hated what we were doing to the country, or that they liked Rudd's ideas and policies more. Hell no. We lost because...you know, the timing.

Or the It's Timing.

Mark Vaile succinctly summed up one of the reasons why the Howard government were tossed out : they think Australian voters are morons who don't vote for policies, but because they simply wanted different politicians in power. They really do think you're that stupid.

John Howard will cop plenty of blame for the utterly humiliating defeat that will shatter the Liberal Party.

In fact, it's already started. Liberals turned on Howard before he even conceded defeat :

Liberal Senator and former minister Ian Macdonald said Mr Howard should have stepped aside a year ago.

"I say that it's tragic that someone who's done as much for Australia as Howard ends up like this. I'm very sad for Howard - I wish he had gone a year ago."

Liberal Senator Gary Humphries said Mr Howard's decision may have hindered the party's chances.

"It may well be that the prime minister's leadership didn't help the Coalition at the end of the day. It may well have been better to have had a different leader going into these last six to nine months of the campaign."

This will get very ugly indeed. But that's what happens to Australian conservatives when they get flogged. Lots of infighting, hating, and even spitting :

Glumly watching television as the results unfolded, Liberal supporters at the main party event in central Sydney, where Prime Minister John Howard was soon to concede defeat, were devastated.

Some said it felt like a funeral.

Vitriol spilled out when Labor's Maxine McKew, who could unseat Mr Howard in his Sydney electorate of Bennelong, appeared on TV.

"I hate that woman," one young man spat.

With all that hatred and spitting, this young lad could have a new career as a conservative columnist.


More senior Liberals are now going after Howard for not stepping aside a year ago and giving Costello a proper chance at beating Kevin Rudd :

Senator (Ian) Macdonald says he respects Mr Howard but he should have gone a year ago.

"It's a tragic way for such an able, committed man and someone who's been so good for Australia to leave," he said.

"I think it would have been different had Peter Costello been leading the party for 12 months."

He says the cabinet ministers should have that ensured Mr Howard went earlier.

"I'm very confident the Coalition would have won had Peter Costello been leading the party," he said.

Murdoch journo, and decade long Peter Costello pimp-in-chief and cheerleader, Glenn Milne, absolutely guts John Howard in this scathing piece of vitriol and conspiracy theorising :

You have to hand it to John Howard. The man who immortalised himself as "Lazarus with a triple bypass" has reached from just beyond the point of political extinction to achieve his ultimate personal aim; denying Peter Costello his chance to lead the Liberal Party.

Howard has likely incinerated two generations of Liberal leadership on the bonfire of his own vanity.

The price of Howard's fatal misjudgment of his own worth is Costello's exit and the consignment of the Liberal Party to at least two and perhaps three terms in Opposition.

Howard is no doubt well pleased with his work. As the Liberal Party tastes the bitter dregs of defeat and digests the effective departure of Costello we now realise why the outgoing prime minister constantly lectured his party room against hubris. Because all along it was the dark whisper that fluttered at the core of his own being.

And on Saturday night he finally succumbed to that spirit by playing out the last act in a succession of acts of wilful pride that eventually took his party down with him. Having ignored the repeated urgings of his colleagues to go both in his own interests and those of his party, Howard's hubris saw him finally dare the voters to dispatch him. They obliged, ultimately convinced it was the only way to get rid of him.

We'll have to come back to Milne's toxic spew at Howard. It's too good not to dissect further.


John Howard knows who to blame. Himself. Well, kind of :

"I accept full responsibility for the Liberal Party campaign and I therefore accept full responsibility for the Coalition's defeat in this election campaign...."

Good to see John Howard taking "full responsibility" for one of his awful decisions (to stay on when he should have handed over to Treasurer Peter Costello).

Update : I've realised hours later that Howard only took "full responsibility" for the campaign, not for his decision to stay on past his use-by date

Of course, Howard's decision to finally take "full responsibility" for something came at the very same moment he was announcing he was going to be leaving Australian politics for good.

They will praise him for now. Maybe a day or two. But the first of many books featuring senior Liberal ministers and power brokers absolutely tearing Howard to pieces for staying too long and destroying the Liberal Party are about to head to the printers. Some will be on the shelves for Christmas.

Gillard To Challenge Rudd For Leadership Of Labor Party

I just wanted to be the first to put that into a headline. If Rudd makes a meal of his leadership, The Australian will be running headlines like that by March, 2009.

Now deputy prime minister of Australia, Julia Gillard, had some very nice and very respectable things to say about defeated PM John Howard :

"This is a man who devoted his entire life to public service, you've got to admire that, and I do," Ms Gillard said.

"He's led the nation through some difficult periods.

"I did admire the Prime Minister when under very difficult circumstances he achieved better gun laws in this country - it was obviously divisive amongst his own support base, and he stood up and did it.

"There have been times when this nation's obviously faced great tragedy, like Bali, and John Howard's led the nation in mourning, so once again I would acknowledge that.

"I think John Howard will be remembered ... with respect and, I suspect, some affection as well."

It's a shame that due to the absurd nature of Australian politics and media that Gillard couldn't have said such things about Howard before today.

Hopefully the nasty, sanctimonious nature of politics and media in Australia will change in the immediate future, off the back of a Rudd Labor government. But probably not.

The Liberals attack pack, with Costello at the helm (for now) will be even more savage and vile in opposition than they were in government.

The conservatives will have to change their attitude, nature and culture if they can even hope to have a fighting chance in 2010 or 2011.

Election Blogging And Drinking

I was wrong. Turns out I don't have a life.

This will be election night blogging mixed with a drinking game.

Every seat declared for Labor, one shot of Wild Turkey.

Let's begin.

6pm - votes are rolling in, some booths are counting slower than others. Bob Hawke has apparently called the election for Labor. Literally. He shouted it out the window of the car driving him to the Sky News studio while laughing maniacally.

Oohh, first couple of seats are being called for Labor with less than 1% of the vote counted. Good enough for me. Three seats, three shots.

7pm - more Labor seats, more shots. Is this dangerous? Decided each three Labor seat shots of Wild Turkey have to be balanced out with shots of orange juice or black coffee for Liberal seats declared.

Christ, is this eight Labor seats already, or twelfvve? Who cares....must eat something.

7.30pm - No. Mal Brough is being tipped to lose his seat. But Tony "Too Honest" Abbott will keep his seat. Of course, one of the only few decent Liberals loses. Howard & Friends will be finding Labor chewing gum under the opposition benches for months to come. Is it over for Howard & Friends? Yes.

8pm - Labor, shot, Labor, shot, Labor, shot, Labor, shot, Liberal, coffee, Labor, National, Labor, Lalorr, Layloooh..

8.20m - Bob Hawke has been calling it live on Sky for an hour. Kerry O'Brien has to cover the growing smirk with his hand, but his huge hand is not big enough. With the amount of hair Julia Gillard lost each week of the election to new makeovers, she's lucky it's finally over. Two more weeks and she would have had Peter Garrett's hairstyle.

8.40pm - Labor, Labor, Labor (let's go for just LR for Labor okay?) LR, LR, LR, Liberals...wow, Howard will lose to Maxine McKew. So paying personal visits to 8000 homes in Bennelong without the nation's media and a half dozen security in tow does pay dividends.

9-ish? - bluurg. Oh crap. whi is the rooom tilting to one syde? LR, shot, LR, shot, LR shiit.

Howard will concede soon. Costello is speaking now, so Howard will make his arrival at the hotel and cut into Costello's near-tears speech.

Howard arrives at hotel with clearly pissed off Janette The Wife. Howard's mere riding up the escalator is enough for every channel to dump Costello's speech just as he was getting to how awesome Australia is. Story of Costello's decade really.

Great speech from Mal Brough. He asks Labor to continue his work in Aboriginal communities. No doubt they will, but without handing over land to mining companies which was always Howard's plan.

9whenever - Howard is history. That's worth two shots. Interesting speech from The Loser but Janette's grimace is distracting. She's still interrupting and nagiiiinng him even when he's strying tto exit with class. Howard all but concedes Bennnelong to Maxine McKew as his farewells his extremely bitter supports. "NOOO!!!! WE LOVE YOU JOHNNN!!!" Fantastic. Someone in the crowd manages to shout "HOWARD IS A WANKER!!!" loud enough for it to be heard on the ABC. What a send off. Great speech from Howard. Pity he didn't talk up how awesome Australia is more often in the campaign instead of claiming we would plunge into living hell if Labor wins.

...there is no Liberal government anywhere in Australia now. The whining of the conservatives begins. Naturally they will blame the ABC. And Channel Nine. And, hilariously, the Murdoch media. Blah blah blah

10pm - W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Wipeout! The Liberals 11.5 year reign is over. Finished. Australians clearly didn't believe Howard's bullshit. The world will not end on Monday morning. Another chapter in Australia's history will begin.


I said you sonn offa bitch! I never likkked yuuo....listen listen, listen, you are bloody great mate, really...no, no, listen....shit...I gotta ss ff what? .............fuckit.....woiw r rr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


1.58am - crashed out in a pile on the floor when Kevin Rudd started his victory speech a few hours ago. Sign of things to come no doubt. Children won't go to sleep? Put on the Kevin Rudd Best Speeches DVD and they will fall into a half-coma within minutes.

Liberals booed any mention of Labor when Howard conceded. The Labor faithful managed to mostly restrain themselves when Rudd praised Howard.

Good Christ! Alex Hawk won Mitchell. If you see him, splash him with holy water and watch him scream and writhe. Tony "Too Raw" Abbott now has competition for who will be the biggest arsehole on the opposition benches. We will watch this nasty piece of work very, very closely.

2am Sunday morning - so it's over. Conservatives have been absolutely routed in Australia last night. Labor wins by 22, or more, seats. One of the most complete and total victories in Australian political history.

Some fantasists are already claiming that seeing as Rudd outed himself as a conservative, the conservatives won regardless of Howard's loss. Yeah, okay. That's Howard quality bullshit. Remember what Peter Garrett said? "When we get in, we'll just change it all" or something like that. Clearly that's what Australians want to happen now.

Kevin Rudd, we're already being told, won his monumental victory off the back of catchy slogans and populist salesman pitches. Of course he did. John Howard completed the transformation of Australia into a consumer society, so why shouldn't Rudd win when he had the best buy-this-now slogans and the far more impressive marketing campaign?

The new age of Labor begins tomorrow. The bloodbath in the Liberal Party has already begun. Conservatives are in the vast minority in Australia today. Australia just became more Australian, once again.

Predictious

Here's some prophetic headlines for next week's election fallout, and the next six months, based on carefully researched wild guess work and five beers :

Labor Wins By Five Seats

Howard Loses Bennelong

Liberals Retain Wentworth

Greens Nail 14% Of National Vote

John Howard Brutalised In Media By Liberal Party Colleagues For Losing Election

Peter Costello Announces Retirement

Tony Abbott Announces Retirement

Malcolm Turnbull Fights For Liberal Leadership Against Demented Far Right

John Howard Embarks On $100,000 Per Speech Tour Of American NeoCon Think Tanks

Liberal Party Fractures, Descends Into Savage Infighting

Shelf Full Of New Books Reveal Dark Secrets Behind John Howard's Years As Prime Minister

John Howard To Score Knighthood From Queen

The Shape Of Rudd's 'New Labor Conservatism' Comes Into Focus - Lefties Grow More Nervous By The Day About Future

Peter Garrett Quits Politics, Rejoins Midnight Oil To Fight Rudd's Pro-Logging, Pro-Nuclear New Labor

Philip Ruddock Quits Politics To Take On Role As Mr Burns In Non-Animated Simpsons Movie

One Of These Men Will Wake Up Sunday Morning A Total Loser



Interesting photo. Note the handshake. Kevin Rudd's gone for the dominant, intimidation grasp, with his thump on top, pressing down on John Howard's hand, pinning him, which is a good way to sum up the entire campaign, or the whole year in fact.

Both John Howard and Kevin Rudd have supplied news.com.au with last ditch pitch columns to win your vote....unless you're voting for The Greens, or the Shooters Party. And let's face it, who isn't?

Not much new in either column, but Rudd definitely wins the battle of the headlines :

Howard : There Is No Risk-Free Change Of Government

Well duh. Snoooze.

Rudd : What's The Point Of Voting For Howard?

Ouch.

A two party, winner-takes-nearly-all-election like ours guarantees that either Kevin Rudd or John Howard will suffer a soul-crushing, spine-cracking, head-melting, brain-frying, spirit diluting defeat.

Which is great fun, if both of them give you the absolute shits.

The best part is when the loser has to front the media and try to act like they don't feel as though they've been run over by six consecutive road trains.

You will probably see John Howard cry if he loses. And Alexander Downer cry. And Peter Costello cry. Tony Abbott, meanwhile, will just look like he has eaten twelve raw kittens and is looking for more.

There will be no federal election live-blogging here. I do have a life. There may be an update early Sunday morning, but no promises on that.

Remember, if anyone tries to intimidate or threaten you on your way in to casting your vote, you are legally allowed to kick them. Probably.

Election 2007 : Before We Look Forward, A Look Back

Rudd, Gillard Had Howard's Number All Year

Going back over the 70 odd posts that have gone up on this blog on the 2007 Federal Election, one thing is overwhelmingly clear : Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard have had John Howard's number since December last year.

They were spelling out how "old" and "tired" Howard was from the start, hammering him over Iraq, climate change, his retirement and his "worn out ideas". Howard has been on the defensive, countering pinpoint Labor Party attacks, accusations and spin, since February.

We hope you enjoy this look back over the last 11 months, and give us a pass for not posting a Final Word piece on the election before its over (though we still might, if inspired later today).

There's not much more to be said. We think a review of the year is far more interesting :

December 2006 : Gillard Claims Howard's Best Days Are "Behind Him"

December 2006 : Howard Volunteers To Have Nuclear Power Plant Built Next Door To His House

February 2007 : Kevin Rudd Declares John Howard "A National Security Threat"

April 2007 : Howard's Last Days - PM Faces Devastating Defeat At Federal Election

May 2007 : What Terror Threat? Howard Spends More On WorkChoices Propaganda Than Raising National Security Awareness

May 2007 : Only 30% Can Think Howard Can Win - Prime Minister Set To Lead His Party To Devastating Defeat

May 2007 : John Howard Suddenly A Global Warming True Believer!

June 2007 : Culture Wars? Who Cares? We Want An Australian Renaissance

July 2007 : Howard Finally Admits That Iraq Was A War Of Oil

July 2007 : Howard's Fury Over War For Oil "Distortions" - Murdoch Media Hastily Rewrites Headlines

July 2007 : The Australian Newspaper Begins The Dooming Of John "Dead Man Walking" Howard

July 2007 : Howard & Friends Prepare "Better To Be Safe Than Sorry" Mantra For Coming Election Day

August 2007 : Interest Rates Hit Ten Year High - Journalists Laugh In John Howard's Face While He Trots Out Excuses

August 2007 : Alexander Downer Rattled By 17 Year Old's Climate Change Questions - Federal Minister Verbally Attacks Student For Asking Hard Questions

August 2007 : Drunk, Slurring Alexander Downer Makes A Clown Of Himself On Lateline

September 2007 : Conservatives Cut Off Howard's Head - Chant Begins "You Must Quit!"

September 2007 : Murdoch Journalist Denies Murdoch Media Conspiracy, But Rupert Admits He Uses Media To Shape And Change Public Opinion

September 2007 : Pressure Builds But Howard Refuses To Step Aside For Peter Costello

September 2007 : Howard The Bitch, Tells Liberals 'You're Nothing Without Me'

October 2007 : Bush Backs Rudd? "New Leadership" Refreshes Democracies

October 2007 : Rudd To Howard, Costello : 'I Can Do You Both'

October 2007 : Howard Tells Us We're Entitled To Believe What He Wants Us To Believe

November 2007 : Rudd, Garrett Betrayal Of Green Vote Comes At Heavy Cost

November 2007 : Howard Already Whining Like A Loser - Depression In Coalition Ranks Seals Their Fate

November 2007 : Why Conservatives Don't Do Comedy


It'll almost be worth a John Howard win on Saturday just to see how all the professional journalists, opinionsts and poll analysts explain how they got it all so very, very wrong.

Almost.

Liberal Party Pro-Terrorism Leaflet Scandal Grows And Grows As Federal Election Dawns

Jackie Kelly : "I Think It's A Huge Entertainment..."

Controversy Linking Sydney Muslims To Supporting Terrorism Against Australians Will Help End John Howard's Government


By Darryl Mason

The scandal over a leaflet drop in Sydney's western suburbs by volunteers for prime minister John Howard's Liberal Party fills newspapers today, and steals precious column inches, headlines and news breaks away from Howard's message in his last big push for re-election.

The leaflet, purporting to be from an Islamic group support terrorism, a group that doesn't actually exist, claimed the opposition government, now expected to win Saturday's election, supported terrorists who killed Australians, and said Muslims would soon have more opportunity to convert Christians.

The husband of the Liberal Party candidate running for election in the Western Sydney seat of Lindsay this Saturday, and the husband of the retiring Liberal Party member, have now both been kicked out of prime minister John Howard's party for distributing the leaflets claiming a vote for Labor is a vote in support of terrorists who've killed more than 80 Australians in the Bali bombings.

The leaflet also claimed the Labor Party would build more mosques in Western Sydney and were in favour of allowing Islamic extremists into the country.

A third man, in the executive of prime minister John Howard's party, has also been expelled.

All this less than 48 hours out from an election that is widely tipped to see the downfall of the John Howard government.

Incredible.


John Howard's reaction?

He knew nothing about the leaflets, they were not authorised Liberal Party election material, he has distanced himself from the scandal, and now he expects us to believe that neither of the two Liberal Party politicians had any idea of what their husbands were up to in writing, printing and then delivering the leaflets to hundreds of homes in one of the most highly contested seats in the election.

Current Liberal Party member for Lindsay, Jackie Kelly, is still insisting the unauthorised campaign brochure her husband helped to write, print and distribute to homes in Western Sydney was "a joke" and that she thought it was "funny." She tried to explain away the scandal, still laughing, by claiming her husband, and the other men involved were drunk and bored.

Pressure is on Howard to now announce the resignation of the Liberal Party candidate for Lindsay, Karen Chijoff, who's husband, Greg Chijoff, has been named as one of the three men now caught up in the election rocking scandal, along with Jackie Kelly's husband, Gary Clark.

How could Karen Chijoff not have known that her husband Greg, who has been campaigning by her side for weeks, was not involved in the illegal distribution of unauthorised Liberal Party leaflets trying to capitalise on the distress and fear resulting from the more than 100 Australians killed in terror attacks in Bali and the United States?

Tonight's current affairs shows, which draw combined audiences of about 20-25% of Australia's population, are expected to go hard on this story, uncovering similar tactics used by Jackie Kelly in past elections, and interviewing the families of Australians killed in international terror attacks.

Bizarrely, John Howard tried, unsuccessfully, to spin away the storm of controversy today by claiming that a wife should never be held responsible for the actions of her husband, and attempted to relate the individuality of husbands and wives to the rise of feminism, and that such separations of responsibility for each other's actions should be celebrated, not damned.

Barely mentioned in most of the coverage so far is that the leaflets directly linked Australian Muslims to supporting international terrorists and terrorist attacks. Linkages that have been essential to John Howard's divide-and-rule strategy of giving white Australians an easy target for vilification and loathing, though it should be pointed out that only the smallest minority of Australians have ever fallen for Howard's race and religion-based baiting.

The Howard government defeat may be even worse than the latest polls indicate, which is, to quote John Howard from earlier in the year, already set to be a defeat of near total "annihilation."

The 'Pro-Terror Liberal Party Leaflet Scandal' has literally exploded from nowhere in less than 18 hours, and questions about the involvement of senior members of the Liberal Party dominated John Howard's final major pre-election speech and Q & A session with the cream of Australia's journalists.

Excerpts from retiring Liberal Party politician Jackie Kelly's unhinged interview earlier today :

JACKIE KELLY: Well, I've read the alleged pamphlet and when I first read it I had to laugh because I think everyone who reads it has their first instinct is to laugh, pretty much everyone who's read chuckles in terms of the parody it does make of various things that have happened during the campaign.

CHRIS UHLMANN: But just to establish it, your husband and two colleagues were handing out this pamphlet...

JACKIE KELLY: Well, my understanding is they were letterboxing...

CHRIS UHLMANN: This pamphlet?

JACKIE KELLY: Well, I don't know. Well, I don't know, allegedly. Allegedly.

CHRIS UHLMANN: And this pamphlet says it comes from an Islamic organisation that doesn't exist? It says the ALP wants the Bali bombers forgiven and supports the construction of a mosque in western Sydney. What's funny about that?

JACKIE KELLY: Oh, look, it makes a parody....I think its sort of, I think its intent is to be a send-up but it obviously hasn't worked.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Isn't it its intent to drive people away from the Labor Party? Isn't that the intent of this?

JACKIE KELLY: No, well, I think if you read it you'd be laughing. I think it's quite....most people who've read it have sort of said, "Oh, well, that's a Chaser-style of prank."

CHRIS UHLMANN: Alright, who printed it?

JACKIE KELLY: Oh, look, I don't, I don't - I'm not, I don't know enough about it.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Was it from your office?

JACKIE KELLY: No. Absolutely not.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Who funded it?

JACKIE KELLY: I don't know. I don't know.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Who authorised it?

JACKIE KELLY: Well, look, there isn't any authorisation on the alleged document....

CHRIS UHLMANN: Can you guarantee that no funds came from your office, or from the Liberal Party for this?

JACKIE KELLY: Yes. Yes. Absolutely.

CHRIS UHLMANN: So where did the money come from? Someone must have printed it.

JACKIE KELLY: Look, everyone's got home printers and whatnot...

CHRIS UHLMANN: Was the Liberal state office involved in this joke?

JACKIE KELLY: No, not at all.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Was the Federal office involved in this joke?

JACKIE KELLY: Not at all.

*******************

JACKIE KELLY: Where is this conversation going?

CHRIS UHLMANN: I rang and I've identified myself as a reporter and I want to know how much you know about this particular document?

JACKIE KELLY: I don't know anything about it, right? I know basically what my husband has told me, his version of events, and obviously what the papers are alleging, and obviously what the ALP is putting about.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Jackie Kelly, finally, do you approve of this kind of thing?

JACKIE KELLY: No. Absolutely not. With my experience in politics and everything, this is just really immature stuff, that hardly makes influence on anyone's vote and I think it's a huge entertainment for other people.

CHRIS UHLMANN: Jackie Kelly, thank you.

JACKIE KELLY: Cheers.

Cheers?

The audio of the interview makes clear that Jackie Kelly is lying through her teeth.


Here's the full text of the leaflet from the non-existent Islamic Australia Federation :

"The role of the Islamic Australia Federation is to support Islamic Australians by providing a strong network within Islamic Australia.

"Muslims supporting Muslims within the community and assisting and showing christian Australians the glorious path to Islam.

"In the upcoming federal election we strongly support the ALP as our preferred party to govern this country and urge all other Muslims to do the same.

"The leading role of the ALP in supporting our faith at both state and local government levels has been exceptional and we look further to further support when Kevin Rudd leads this country.

"We gratefully acknowledge Labor's support to forgive our Muslim brothers who have been unjustly sentenced to death for the Bali bombings.

"Labor supports our new Mosque construction and we hope, with the support or funding of local and state governments, to open our new Mosque in St Marys soon.

"Labor was the only political party to support the entry to this country of our Grand Mufti reverend Sheik al-Hilaly (sic) and we thank Hon Paul Keating for over-turning the objections of ASIO to allow our Grand Mufti to enter this country."

It's beyond obvious that the leaflet was not intended as a joke, or a "Chaser style prank."

It was a carefully planned and constructed psychological operation to smear the Labor Party as supporters of terrorism against Australians and to scare voters in the mostly Christian western Sydney suburb of St Mary's into believing they would be converted to Islam if Labor wins the election.

Labor Party volunteers caught the Liberal Party volunteers in the act of distributing the leaflets on Tuesday night. The Labor Party was tipped off to the leaflet and its distribution by people inside the Liberal Party who strongly disagreed with this extremist and anti-Democratic behaviour.


The Chaser Offers Jackie Kelly A Job

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The Chaser Responds To Liberal Party's Pro-Terrorism "Chaser-Style Prank"

Citing The Chaser as a way of trying to defuse the growing scandal and outrage over the fake Labor Party leaflet, detailed here, was the second big mistake retiring Liberal Party MP Jackie Kelly made, after laughing about it on morning radio and television.

She has made sure the scandal stays in the headlines right through to Saturday. Unless something, or someone, explodes.

Jackie Kelly tried to defend her husband, Gary Clark, when he was busted on Tuesday night stuffing pro-terrorism leaflets, plastered with Labor Party logos, into Western Sydney letterboxes by claiming he was "drunk" and was attempting "a Chaser-style prank."

The Chaser has now responded :

The Chaser's executive producer Julian Morrow has now invited Ms Kelly, who will retire after the election, to join the comedy team.

"Jackie will obviously be looking for a job," Morrow said.

"One of the criticisms of The Chaser is that we don't have any women on our team.

"Bronwyn Bishop has got the inside running, but Jackie is welcome to make an application."

"It's a bit of a worry when the best argument you have to defend your ethical practices is that you were doing what The Chaser does.

"We are hoping this will lead to a profitable political consultancy for The Chaser in the future."

We'll update later with the raft of questions John Howard is expected to be hammered with during his press club final speech, and pitch, to the nation.

Howard must be ready to cry to have such a disgusting and incredibly stupid scandal erupt so close to voting day.

The final nail in Howard's political coffin has come from his own people.


Why Conservatives Don't Do Comedy

The Chaser : We Are Wankers

The Chaser Delivers Osama Bin Laden To President Bush's Hotel

Fight Terror, Jail Comedians

Don't Laugh At The Chaser, Live In Fear

Why Conservatives Don't Do Comedy

It was a simple and straightforward Liberal Party smear tactic : print up leaflets that tell voters if they vote for Labor, they are voting in support of terrorism.

What could possibly go wrong with such a plan?

Except getting caught and photographed in the act...

But come on, it's easy to condemn those Liberal Party leaflet distributors. You just don't understand. The Liberal Party is about to be destroyed at the polls. There is no tactic too dirty, too undemocratic and too disgusting not to try.

I suppose it's all a matter of interpretation. You can interpret the 'A Vote For Labor Is A Vote For Terrorism' leaflet as a tactic straight out of the sewer. Or you can see it as not unexpected from a political party that has seen great gains over the years from marginalising Muslims and fearing up the public over women in burkhas.

Or maybe we don't understand sophisticated Liberal humour. After all, that what's the wife of one of the men responsible is now claiming it was. Just a joke.

Just because they stuck a Labor Party logo on the leaflet and claimed it was from a Islamic group that supports suicide bombing, doesn't mean those who had the leaflet stuffed into their letterboxes were supposed to take it seriously.

What do you mean you don't get the joke? What's wrong with you?

I mean, everyone's done it, haven't they?

Got pissed, jumped on the computer, designed and wrote and then printed off a few hundred copies of a leaflet where you pretend to be a fictional religious group thanking your opposition political party for supporting terrorists who killed more than 80 Australians in the Bali bombings, then rounded up a few mates and gone letterboxing those leaflets through your neighbourhood.

Who hasn't tried to stir up some anti-Muslim sentiment in their own neighbourhood after a few too many, a couple of days before a resounding Liberal Party defeat at the polls?

Where's your sense of humour? It was a joke.

Well, that's what retiring western Sydney Liberal Jackie Kelly is claiming was the intent of the anti-Muslim, 'Labor Supports Terrorists' leaflets her husband, Gary Clark, and his "bunch of drunk" mates wrote, printed up and then distributed through suburbs like St Mary's and St Clair.


Kelly said anyone who actually read the leaflet would be amused :

"On first read it is quite funny..."

"If you read it you would be laughing. Most people who have read it have sort of said that's a Chaser-style of prank."

"Pretty much everyone who reads it chuckles."

Jackie Kelly was still laughing about the leaflet, which used the deaths of more than 80 Australians in the Bali bombings to spread around some anti-Muslim fear, when she was questioned about it earlier today.

So let's take a look the fake leaflet put together by Jackie Kelly's husband and his Liberal Party mates (all without her knowledge, of course, even though they used her house as a base for the distribution) decorated with Labor Party logos and under the name of the fictional Islamic Foundation Australia :

"We gratefully acknowledge Labors [sic] support to forgive our Muslim brothers who have been unjustly sentenced to death for the Bali bombings," it says.

Hilarious!

"Labor supports our new Mosque construction and we hope, with the support and funding by Local and State governments, to open our new Mosque in St Mary's soon."

Ha hahahahahaha!

Comedy gold! Gold!

These people are demented.

Jackie Kelly has offered up a variety of explanations this morning for how her husband and senior members of the Liberal Party came to be busted stuffing these leaflets into letterboxes in Western Sydney late in the evening :

"I think its intent is to be a send-up, but it obviously hasn't worked..."

"He hates the unions, my husband."

But Jackie Kelly was disgusted. When she managed to stop laughing. She was not disgusted at her husband and the leaflets he helped to think up, print and distribute, but at the Labor Party and union "thugs" who tried to stop the Liberal Party members from terrorising the locals :

" ... an ALP goon squad, which I understand was led by some unionists, have chased down and hunted down and tried to intimidate. I understand there was even a fight," she said.

No wonder conservatives hate the unions so much. They get in the way of Liberal Party hate campaigns.

This is why so few Liberals and conservatives try their hands at comedy. Obviously, their sense of humour is too complex for mere mortals to understand.

John Howard is really going to be looking forward to answering questions about this at his last major speech of the election today.

For those who missed the link above, you can read the leaflet in question here.

Tasmanian Author Promises Biggest "Civil Disobedience Campaign" In Decades For Anti-Pulp Mill Protests

The new Tasmanian pulp mill scored the approval of both Labor and Liberal, and saw conservationist Peter Garrett forced to toe the party line, and lose a rainforest worth of credibility while he was at it. We won't know until after the weekend just how much of an impact the controversial pulp mill's approval will have on the election, or in particular on the electoral choices of the voters of Wentworth, the seat of pro-pulp mill environment minister Malcolm Turnbull.

But activists against the mill are promising that it will never be built.

Here are some excerpts from a fiery speech given by author Richard Flanagan to a crowd of anti-pup mill protesters in Tasmania a few days ago.

While providing some solid background on the history of the massive corruption linking the Gunns woodchipping corporation and the Tasmanian state Labor government, Flanagan promises to join protesters in a civil disobedience campaign he declares will be the biggest since the successful protests stopping the damming of the Franklin River in the early 1980s, and claims the controversial pulp mill will never get the chance to destroy a forest or pollute the environment :

And if, in the end we have all other avenues denied us, if we are left with no other alternative, if it takes standing on the road to the pulp mill site and placing our bodies between their machines and our home, we will stand there, in peace and with pride, united against hate and greed, joined in our love for our island. And if we are arrested and thrown in jail, then we will go to jail in our tens, we will go to jail in our hundreds, we will go to jail in our thousands, and Paul Lennon will have to build seven new prisons to house all the people who will come and who will keep on coming before they even attempt to pour the foundations of one new pulp mill.

Now is the time for turning, now is the season for our change, now must come that moment when we no longer are cowed, when we cease to be silent, when we speak the truth to power and say no to this pulp mill and yes to a future in which we are governed in the spirit in which we live: with goodness, with the interests of others in our heart and not the leash of greed tearing at our throat. Now is that hour, now is our future. The journey is long, the road is dark and frightening, but together we can reach our destination: the Tasmania of which we all dream, where all are welcome and all prosper, made not of lies but truth, built not of rich men's hate but our love for our island and for each other. Our love. Our island. Let's take it back. Let's start marching.

Richard Flanagan brought the issue of the new Tasmanian pulp mill, and the long history of foul corruption linking Gunns and Labor and Liberal governments, to national attention in this shock-inducing article from The Monthly magazine. It is a story that every Australian should read.

Flanagan is the author of the novel, 'The Unknown Terrorist', which has become an international hit and has now been optioned for a movie by Steven Spielberg's company Dreamworks.

'The Unknown Terrorist' is so despised by Tim Blair and Andrew Bolt, who haven't made clear that they've actually read the book they've dismissed as trash, that I had to read it myself. If they hated it so much, there was likely much on interest to be found in those pages. I'm halfway through, and it's a fast, interesting read, which successfully predicted the terror-related non-events of this year, where 'unknown terrorists' were rounded up, publicly prosecuted and then released.

Tim Blair and Andrew Bolt appear to be on a dedicated mission to trash Richard Flanagan as often as they can, but not so often as to raise suspicion to their motives.

Perhaps Bolt is annoyed at Flanagan's best-seller status, while his own book's sales stalled. Perhaps Blair is jealous that Flanagan has actually written books in the first place.

Naturally, Bolt and Blair seem to have absolutely no problem with what Gunns is doing to Tasmania's environment, and the further damage to come from the pulp mill, all against the will of the majority of Tasmanians. Flanagan remains their target of choice, even though there is a state Labor government involved that should be mocked and derided at every opportunity.

Flanagan's promised "civil disobedience" campaign will supply both Bolt and Blair with plenty of material to continue their mockery of those who choose to not sit idly by while a behemoth like Gunns mows down whatever, or whoever, gets in their way.

Expect the Tasmanian pulp mill issue to leap back into the headlines in the first few months of 2008.

By then, the pro-Gunns sate Labor government will probably be feeling cocky enough to try and stop the anti-mill protests and blockades using powers under the anti-terror laws. The powers that already allow for the prosecution of protesters who "interfere" with the smooth running of corporations, like Gunns.

The fear of Islamic terrorism was the bulldozer that rammed through the anti-terror laws, but the laws, and the definitions of what actually constitutes terrorist actions or terror support, are open enough to allow for the prosecution of pro-environment related protesters should a corporate entity like Gunns wish to do so. The bet is that they most certainly will.

If Richard Flanagan goes through with his plans for massive "civil disobedience", he may find himself in a very similar position to a key character in 'The Unknown Terrorist'. Except in his case, it will be his pro-environment actions that may see him fighting 'anti-terror' related charges in the courts.

Flanagan, however, appears ready and willing to fight that battle.

Liberals Have An "Outside Chance" Of Winning The Election...Next Time

Greg Sheridan gets in really, really early with his prediction that if the Liberals can get their act together, and treat Tony Abbott as their Socrates-meets-Tony Montana for the next three or four years, they could break the always-a-two-term rule of Australian governments and unseat Rudd at the next election :

...the Liberals might have an outside chance in three years' time. But they will need to remain credible: more than that, to have a sense of life about them, a sense of vigour and purpose.

And who will the Liberals have to rely on for all this life, vigour and purpose? Tony Abbott, of course. Who else is there? Alexander Downer? Brendan Nelson?

Sensing the Liberals are, after the weekend's presumed election defeat, going to lose Abbott to a opposition bench free lifestyle, Sheridan all but begs Tony Abbott not to follow the advice of friend Glenn Milne and "go home to his wife" :

Abbott has been central to conservative politics for the past 15 years. He needs to be central to it for the next 15 years. Even in opposition the Liberals will need to try to shape the debate, defend their record, defend their heroes and defend their ideas...you can't win a battle without warriors.

Even if the only viable 'warrior' you've got left is Tony "Too Honest" Abbott.

Tony Abbott's Last Stand

Howard's vicious mutt, Tony "Too Honest" Abbott, knows his government is going to lose the election this weekend, but he still can't believe it. Just the idea that his days in power are almost over has completely done his head in, which is why he came up with this :

Something unprecedented will happen on Saturday. A highly effective government will lose despite generally good economic circumstances or 12 months of opinion polls will turn out to be wrong. Australians are not reckless gamblers, at least not with the future of their country, so I think it's much more likely voters will prove the polls wrong than change the government.

Abbott, a very religious man, is now praying for a miracle. Perhaps he should, instead, be cursing divine retribution.

His betting that 12 months of polls will turn out to be wrong is a long way from his position many, many months ago when the polls were about the same as they are now, with his government way behind. Back then he thought the majority of Australians were a bunch of dingbats who expected far too much from their politicians and were unwilling to give them the praise he believed was due to politicians like himself.

Well, that's when he wasn't threatening Australian voters with "dire consequences" if they dared to vote against his government.

Tony Abbott will be one of those who will be blamed by the Liberals for helping to lose the election, due to his appalling public behaviour during the election campaign. And he deserves plenty of blame, if only for his disgusting attack on a dying man who had given of himself in ways that Abbott could never comprehend, or dream of matching.


Friends Should Tell Tony "Too Raw" Abbott To 'Go Home To His Wife'

Tony Abbott Attacks Australians For Demanding The Very Best From Their Politicians

Australia 'Locked Out' Of Huge New East Asian Free Trade Union On Orders Of China

Alexander Downer has, by now, learned that Australia has been locked out of joining a vast new ASEAN nations free trade and energy union. And China demanded Australia be excluded.

Downer is at the East Asia Summit, where he laughingly claimed he would be trying to get a last minute climate change related 'breakthrough agreement' from developing countries like China, Indonesia, Vietnam and The Philippines. Good luck with that.

More here :

China, Japan and South Korea agreed to work with the 10-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations to open up regional trade, dropping a plan to include India, Australia and New Zealand.

Leaders from the 13 nations said the so-called Asean Plus Three group ``would remain the main vehicle toward the long- term goal of building'' an Asian regional community, according to a statement released after a meeting today. The document makes no mention of the other three nations that will also attend tomorrow's East Asia Summit in Singapore.

Asean secretary general Ong Keng Yong earlier this year insisted that India, Australia and New Zealand would be included in plans to establish a free-trade zone covering all 16 nations who participate in the East Asia Summit. Today's statement recognizes China's demand that only Asean Plus Three countries should be included in the community.

This will be Downer's last trip as foreign minister of Australia, barring a bizarre upset at the weekend elections.

Will there be time enough left for him to remind us all how great Australia's relationship is with China and East Asia before he takes a board gig with a defence contractor, or joins the NeoCon talk circuit in the United States?

Two Major Journalists Required To Cope With Sheer Weight Of Howard's Final Week "I Shit You Not" Fear Mongering Pitch

When I worked as the editor of a city newspaper, many years ago, the newspaper's owner would walk into the office with a local MP's wordy press release in hand, plonk it down on the desk and say "Just run it."

After I'd scanned through the mind-numbing mass, or mess, of information, the conversation would usually go like this :

"I need to check the claims he's making here...some of this is way over the top."

"Just run it."

"I need to give the opposition a chance to react to these claims. They deserve the right of the reply."

"Just run it."

"People are going to laugh at this. They're going to pick up the paper next week and think we're just a local government mouthpiece."

"Just run it."

"Why do you need journalists? You could just get the secretary to type all this shit up..."

"Just run it...Actually, run it on the front page."

The editorship didn't last long.

I flashbacked to those days when I looked at The Australian today and saw this story, where John Howard summons up his most doom-laden verbiage to try one last Big Scare. It's the last minute of the final quarter, the clock is ticking, Australians need to be told they should be trembling as they hover that pencil on Saturday near boxes marked Labor or The Greens.

After weeks of desperate electoral tactical meetings and long lectures from supposed masters of political campaigning and 'damage control', John Howard is finally ready to unveil the New Horror.

The Labor-Green 'Axis'! Lookout! Booga! Beware!

Howard uncorks so much spin, froth and horror-heavy twaddle that The Australian needed two of its biggest hitters - Dennis Shanahan and Paul Kelly - to transcribe it all.

Because that's all this excretible excuse for a news story, from the newspaper that proudly boasts it "keeps the nation informed" really is, in the end. One long Howard rant, with barely a few hundred words from Kelly and Shanahan, but they're only writing what John Howard is saying, instead of just having Howard say it. They typed in a handful of their own words to break up the full stream of direct Howard quotes.

Back at my small city newspaper all those years ago, we only needed one person to transcribe the politician's press release and turn it into a front page story. The Australian needs two senior journalists to do the same thing.

Unless, of course, the editor of The Australiian thinks that having the names of Dennis Shanahan and Paul Kelly in the byline will give this gormless guff some weighty credibility. You know the kind of thing : it must be true what Howard is saying because, look, it's got Kelly and Shanahan bylines on it.

A double team effort! Whoa!

Because Paul Kelly and Dennis Shanahan are merely transcribing what Howard had to say, we're providing a handy translation. The Kelly/Shanahan 'interview' transcript is in italics.

John Howard has warned Australians they risk electing a Labor-Greens alliance that would impose a new national direction and conduct radical experiments with their values and institutions.

In a final-week interview with The Australian, the Prime Minister said the nation faced a "watershed election", where the real issues had been disguised by the me-tooism of Kevin Rudd and in which the workplace reforms of his Government would be lost forever if Labor were elected.

Most Australians clearly want the the workplace reforms to be lost. That's why they're voting Howard out.

Convinced his hopes of a Coalition win at the weekend are not yet extinguished, Mr Howard said: "Part of my mission this week is to drive home the risk. My every waking hour and every available minute will be to drive home the risk of Labor."

Howard is going to rant doom around the clock like a drunk evangelist on a street corner wearing a 'The End Is Nigh' sandwich board.

He said a Labor government would mean higher unemployment, higher inflation and a rollback of industrial reforms that would terminate forever hopes of a freer labour market.

Complete and utter speculation from Howard. This is what he thinks may happen, but he has no proof, and most economists don't back up his claims. Kelly and Shanahan don't bother to even note that Howard could well be proven totally wrong.

Mr Howard warned that a Labor victory would mean a Labor-Greens Senate majority and an era of social re-engineering, with policy changes on drugs, education, social issues and political correctness in conflict with his social conservatism.

"There will be a return of political correctness. There will be a softening in relation to things like drugs. You will get a less socially conservative country at the very least.

Shocking. Rudd may actually wind back some of Howard's welfare for the rich, follow the nation's will and offer a Sorry to Aboriginals, and stop treating 19 year old pot smokers like psychotic hardened criminals.

"I think the country's mood is that people want economic progress but they don't want experiments with our basic values and institutions. Imagine if you are depending on the Greens to get a measure through the Senate on education. Imagine what they would extract."

Imagine if the Greens, who will likely claim 12% or more of the national vote, were actually able to represent the will and desires of their voters instead of having to suffer through the Coalition getting almost 100% of their bills and ammendments passed through the Senate? The horror!

Howard believes his values are what's best for all Australians, not apparently realising the 1950s were five long decades ago.

Asked about the future under the Coalition, Mr Howard said Peter Costello "will be elected unopposed" as his successor. In a warning to leadership aspirants, Mr Howard pledged to the Treasurer, saying this would be "the right thing" for the Liberal Party and for Australia.

Howard is dreaming.

By the time Howard finally hands the Kirribilli House keys back to Australia, if he's actually re-elected as PM, Malcolm Turnbull will have carved a deep trench through the Liberal Party on his way to the top job.

If the Coalition loses government, the old order will torn to shreds in months of bitter infighting about who lost the election, and all those golden Liberal seats. Peter Costello has about as much chance of becoming the next PM, or leader of the Liberals, as Peter Garrett has of taking control of BHP. Costello's poll ratings with the Australian public are absolutely abysmal, he's about as popular as a kick in the nuts with no $500 cheque from Australia's Funniest Home Video to ease the pain.

The Liberals are bitter, yet happy enough, to let Howard spin his little fantasy about Peter Costello taking over, but only until the New Year. Then the real fight inside the Liberal Party begins.

Mr Howard defended his policy of tax breaks to empower choice. He rejected the criticism it was middle-class welfare.

Of course it's middle-class welfare. Why does he think so much of the middle-class voted for him in 2004?

"It's not dependency to give a tax break to people for doing certain things," he said. "I find this blurring of the distinction between expenditure and tax incentives as ridiculous. We encourage people to make choices about their children's education through tax breaks ... We support people who have children by giving them tax breaks. That's authentic Liberal orthodoxy.

What Howard's true masters want, they get. Liberal orthodoxy under Howard is welfare for the middle class and fat tax cuts for the rich. The rest get less money spent on hospitals and education and an extra milkshake and a sandwich as a reward for not trying to storm Parliament House with flaming torches in hand.

It's no mystery why Shanahan would let his name go on such a rag bag of predictions, baseless projections and scare-mongering speculation. But why would Paul Kelly let his name anywhere near such tripe?

Does he no longer care at all? Is he about to retire?

Four more days to go...

Howard Keeps Australia's Media Moguls Rich With Your Money

16 Months, $500 Million

Nobody does more to keep the flow of taxpayer cash running hot into the pockets of Australia's extremely wealthy media moguls than John Howard.

In just 16 months, according to this story, the Howard government has spent a mind-boggling $500 million dollars on anti-Labor, anti-union fear campaigns, pro-WorkChoices propaganda and so-called 'government-funded information advertising'. The Howard government has spent more than $1 million a day on ads, for almost 500 days running.

But it's not government-funded advertising, it's You Fund It :

The Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet's annual report showed $281 million was spent on government advertising last financial year.

And the splurge didn't stop in July. Another $209 million was spent in the run-up to the poll announcement five weeks ago.

The most recent ad campaigns centred on changes to WorkChoices, climate change policy, changes to superannuation and internet safety.

Mr Howard defended the spending, declaring it all "legitimate", but Labor leader Kevin Rudd condemned it, pledging if elected on Saturday to tighten rules governing the use of taxpayers' money for publicising information campaigns.

The Howard government now spends more taxpayer dollars on advertising, per head of population, than any other country in the world.

You won't be surprised to learn that the Herald Sun, one of the big beneficiaries from such advertising splurges, buried this story under a headline about how John Howard backs his "good mate" Peter Costello to takeover the Liberal Party leadership when he finally quits.

John Howard calls directing half a billion dollars of your money into the pockets of some of Australia's richest people being economically responsible and "fiscally conservative."

UPDATE : I shouldn't be so hard on the Herald Sun. At least they ran the $500 Million In 16 Months On Ads story, even if they did so under a headline about another story. The Australian managed to wind back the impact of the revelations of Howard government ad spending this way :

Government Spends $196 Million On Ads

True enough, but as the Herald Sun article clearly reveals, it's not even half the real story.

International Media Picks Up On 'Howard's Battlers Now Turning On Him' Theme

As John Howard's government enters what certainly looks like its last days in power, the international media is starting to pump the theme that he will lose office because the legendary 'Howard Battlers' have decided to dump him because the 'McMansion Dream' has turned sour.

This from the UK's Telegraph :

The aspiring working classes of Australia who catapulted John Howard to power 12 years ago look set to turn on him in lethal fashion in this week’s election, as his promises of growing prosperity have soured.

A survey has found that two-thirds of voters with mortgages between $100,000 and $200,000 (£86,000) intended to vote on Saturday for the opposition Labour Party, heralding a catastrophe for Mr Howard’s conservation coalition.

Since being elected in 1996, Mr Howard has drawn much of his support from "battlers" – blue collar families living in the outer suburbs of Australia’s big cities – seducing them with a Thatcherite philosophy of economic liberalism and social conservatism.

But the Australian dream of owning an air-conditioned "McMansion" with a two-car garage has soured.

Interest rates have risen six times since Mr Howard made a rash pledge at the last election, in 2004, that he would ensure they stayed low.

Compounding the pain for mortgage holders is the fact that house prices have fallen in many working class "battler" suburbs since the property boom peaked around 2003.

The photo running with the story here shows John Howard looking old, bitter and annoyed. The story made the Editor's Pick on the website.