Joe Vs Julie

Joe Hockey smells the blood in the water, and begins to make his move for the deputy leadership of the Liberal Party. Hitting the banks for being scumbags now is an important Us-Vs-Them scene setter, which Hockey will be able to cash in on monumentally next year when the 'economic downturn' really becomes the Economic Downfall.

Westpac was the biggest bank in the country, Opposition finance spokesman Joe Hockey said on Wednesday.

"You would think they would pass on the interest rate cut in full, but they didn't. They gouged it," he told Fairfax Radio Network.

"Westpac gouged it, ANZ gouged it. They are gouging small business, they are gouging farmers, and they are gouging credit cards."

Hockey's aim in this attack is solid, and precise. A few more serious months of this, and the new generation Liberals can claim, in 2010, that the Rudd Government and the Bastard Banks are holding hands and skipping along rainbows together while The Rest Of Us (that will be Australia's, by then, majority poor and the "We Feel Your Pain" Liberals) are queuing for food stamps and free buses to get to work.

Hockey and Malcolm Turnbull are exactly the kind of front-line tag-team combination the Liberals need to really start hammering the Labor Party next year. Turnbull can keep it classy, while Hockey can go for the throat. Unlike Peter Costello, Alexander "Absolute Commitment" Downer and (shudder) Tony Abbott, Joe Hockey can occasionally appear to be genuine, and sincere, and has a streak of the same instant anger that many Australians quietly liked about Mark Latham.

Speaking up for the New Poor against the Bastard Banks, and pointing out how cozy "Lapdog Labor and the Bastard Banks"are, will be one of Hockey's primary missions through 2009 and 2010. If he doesn't fuck it up, the Rudd government could soon be getting major migraines whenever Hockey's name is mentioned.

Australian politics might get very interesting again, very quickly.

Now It's The Liberals Turn To Say "Bloody Howard!"

The headline promises so much, 'It's All Howard's Fault, Say Liberals', but the story delivers so little meat :

The nation's Liberal leaders have blamed an unhealthy focus on the former Howard government for contributing to their electoral woes.

State and territory Liberal Party leaders held a crisis meeting in Melbourne to try to revive the fortunes of the party, which languishes in opposition throughout Australia.

Victorian opposition leader Ted Baillieu said while it had been important to focus on keeping the party in power federally, the situation had changed following the November 24 election loss.

"The focus on the federal coalition from time to time drew resources, staffing and focus to that effort," he said.

"The efforts of the state and territory division have not been helped.

"We need to assert the states and territories, who are central ... to reviving the fortunes of the party."

Is that it? No quotes hammering Howard, or shredding Abbott, Nelson, Downer or Costello for spending most of 2007 singing the praises of John Howard when they all knew, from their own polling, that Howard was a key reason why they would lose the federal election?

Baaah!

At least the state Liberal leaders showed what they thought of the new federal Liberal 'leader' Brendan Nelson. He wasn't invited to the pow-wow.

Baillieu took the time to spell out just what the Liberals now stand for :

"We stand for freedom of the individual, freedom of enterprise, growth and aspiration, small government and a strong and productive, safe future for all Australians," he said.

So basically they stand for everything that Howard was opposed to, or did his best to ensure Australians were denied.

Smells like a nasty war is brewing between state and federal Liberals.

What a shame. And just when they where showing signs of....well, nothing much really.

The 'Government Gazette' Becomes The 'Opposition Oracle'

We keep hearing how the new Liberal/National Opposition government is lost. They don't have a clue. They are "Me Tooing" the Rudd government, with their acceptance of the reality of climate change, the need to ratify Kyoto and that WorkChoices is about as popular as a rusty razor to the nipple being just a few of their "We're With You Guys!" whiplash-inducing policy turnarounds.

But before the Libs go out and blow much needed money hiring policy experts and advisors to shape their party platforms, they should just turn to the main op-ed page of The Australian today, where the editor is, once again, telling the Libs exactly what they need to do to win back the public support.

When the Libs were in government, The Australian was known in the blogstream as the 'Government Gazette' for its near ceaseless support of the Howard government and its constant hyping of utterly abysmal poll results for Howard & Friends. 'Howard Stages A Comeback' and all that.

Seeing as The Australian already looks like it will stick to helping the Liberal Party in every way that it can, it's time for a rebranding of the newspaper that "keeps the nation (and the Libs) informed". Forget the 'Government Gazette'. It's now the 'Opposition Oracle'.

As long as Nelson and the Libs do what they're told by the editor of Opposition Oracle, and its conservative-heavy op-ed writers, they can expect plenty of good press this year.

But only if they do what they're told.

So listen up Mr Nelson, the Opposition Oracle is speaking. Get out your highlighter pen and mark up Your Brand New Policy Platform For 2008-2010 :

In charting a course back to government, the Coalition leadership needs to...learn the lessons of recent history. They will not win power by fighting the centralist Rudd Government from the rigid Right, any more than the Labour Party in Britain was going to beat the Thatcher/Major Conservatives fighting from the rigid Left.

Rather than trapping itself in a time warp, the Opposition's job is to exploit the weaknesses in the Rudd Government's IR policies. Later in the election cycle, when the impact of the Government's changes are clearer, the Coalition should refine andrebadge its alternative and sell it positively as the way of the future.

Just as the genesis of New Labour's victory in Britain was the pragmatic dumping of sacred "white elephants" such as socialism and nationalisation of the means of production, Australia's Coalition needs to review some of its positions. Welfare reform is now long-standing and was central to theHawke/Keating governments as well as to the Coalition. It is no coincidence that single mothers were heavily over-represented in eight of the 10 seats in which the Coalition suffered its heaviest losses. This suggests that too many felt antagonised at being forced off welfare and into the workforce.

To be competitive, the Coalition must learn how to soften its sales pitch, using more encouragement and less of the big stick. And while the culture wars are of no interest to many in marginal seats, the Coalition could make ground by focusing on issues such as what is taught at school.

So the advice is : keep sticking it to single mothers and the poor, but don't be so obvious about it. You've got to find yourself some new punching bags, preferably ones that don't have a lot of voting power.

Labor campaigned cleverly on interest rates and petrol and grocery prices, which are largely beyond the control of any government.

But if the Rudd Government fails to meet voters' expectations in a worsening economic climate, the Coalition could argue that they were indeed more competent at steering Australia through challenging times, such as the Asian economic crisis.

In 1996, John Howard won by promising not a conservative revolution but to govern "for all of us" and to make Australians feel "relaxed and comfortable". He wooed the battlers by lifting their aspirations, just as Kevin Rudd did 11 years later. Such a strategy should also mean uniting disparate groups in the national interest, rather than playing the politics of division.

Translation : The Liberals should stop basing their policies on the hysterical opinions of Andrew Bolt and Piers Akerman (eg - Global Warming is an evil Green conspiracy), and realise that all the bitterness hacked up from their religiously committed commenters only represent the nuttier fringes of conservative Australia.

While playing the competing interests of one group off against another can appeal to particular constituencies in the short term, punters wise up over time and tend to reject such cynical politics.

Punters know that self-appointed extremist spokespeople-provocateurs for Australian conservatives, like Bolt (who regards Pinochet as a hero), are crazier than a burning cat dumped dumped into a bucket of ice water.

In its new role, the Coalition should understand why fighting on the fringes is no place for an alternative government.

Translation : The so-called 'Culture Wars' are a mind-numbingly tedious bust for most Australians, those that have actually heard of them, and nobody reads Quadrant, but the few that do are hardly representative of the Australian people as a whole, or even a broad slice of Australian conservatives.

Maybe the New Liberals could adopt an anti-globalisation platform, considering the globalised economy is one of the key reasons why our economy is getting hammered right now by the financial meltdown in the United States. Or fight with the unions against Labor as it stalls the winding back of WorkChoices. Or start demanding that Labor do more to embrace alternative energy. Now that would be interesting.

Brendan Nelson Hand Carves WorkChoices Tombstone

Radical New Liberal Policy : "We Are Listening To The Australian People"

What exactly are the Liberal Party going to be opposed to in opposition?

Apparently, the Brendan Nelson led Liberals have vowed to fight to ensure that the Labor Party lives up to promise to rollback the WorkChoices regime they forced onto the Australian people, against their will.

At a news conference with Deputy Leader Julie Bishop, Dr Nelson said the Coalition would now scrutinise the Rudd Labor Government's scrapping of the laws to ensure it was "implemented as stated''.

"We will be working very hard to make sure that the legislation the Labor Party and Mr Rudd present to the Australian Parliament is consistent with the last stated position of the Labor Party,'' he said.

Wow. who needs drugs? Just try and wrap your head around that. The Liberal Party is now going to "scrutinise" the Labor Party's windback of WorkChoices to make sure that they live up to their promise to get rid of the John Howard's biggest political ambition : utterly stripping away the most essential rights of Australian workers, destroying the unions, and handing control of Australia's workforce to the country's biggest corporations.

Nelson is basically saying : "We introduced it, now we're going to make sure that you really get rid of it."

Parliament next year will be hallucinogenic if this is any indication of how Monty Pythonesque the Liberal Party will be in opposition.

The rest of the story :

"We have listened and we have learned, and one of the issues that was very important to the Australian people in changing the Government on November 24 was that of WorkChoices," he said.

"We've listened to the Australian people, we respect the decisions they have made, and WorkChoices is dead."

Dr Nelson said the package of industrial reforms was "one of the reasons'' Australians voted to change the Government.

The Liberal Party insist they are now listening to the Australian people. Talk about a revolution. Actually listening to the majority collective opinion of the Australian people? WorkChoices was brought in because the Liberal Party had spent so long listening to the opinions and demands of Australia's business community.

So WorkChoices is dead. Well, that was a complete waste of another $700 or $800 million dollars.

How many hospitals and schools would that kind of money brought up to world's best standards?

Brendan Nelson is busy chipping away at a new tombstone today. The one that will mark the political grave of Australia's biggest champion of WorkChoices - Joe Hockey.

It's no exaggeration. John Howard really did destroy the Liberal Party.

Dry your eyes.

Liberals Defy The Australian, Nelson Pays The Price

Curse Of The Newspoll To Badmouth Libs Until Turnbull Takes Over

More Coalition Supporters Prefer Rudd As PM Than Nelson And Abbott Combined

By Darryl Mason

The Australian newspaper's editor-at-large, Paul Kelly, told the election defeat-shocked Liberals that Malcolm Turnbull was their man, and the only person who could lead the party out of the swamp of Howard-era policy failures, "we don't say sorry" stupidity and climate change ignorance.

But the Liberals dared to ignore Kelly, and the Murdoch media's cheerleading for Turnbull, and chose Brendan "I've Never Voted Liberal In My Life!" Nelson to lead the party instead.

So now it's time for the New Liberals to pay the price for such insolence :

The Liberal Party may have chosen the wrong man as its new leader, with Brendan Nelson only half as popular as beaten rival Malcolm Turnbull among voters.

Brendan Nelson had only given his first interview as the New Liberals leader mere hours before the poll was taken. He hadn't even been leader for 48 hours!

A Newspoll conducted exclusively for The Australian at the weekend also found 61 per cent of voters named Kevin Rudd as their preferred prime minister, with Dr Nelson rating only 14 per cent.

The poll showed almost as many Coalition voters believed Mr Rudd would make a better prime minister as Dr Nelson.

...the Newspoll - the first since polling day - found Mr Turnbull was the most favoured Liberal Party figure.

But of course!

Thirty-four per cent of the 1125 respondents named the millionaire former banker and environment minister as the best person to lead the Liberals. Dr Nelson scored 18 per cent. West Australian Julie Bishop, who was elected as Dr Nelson's deputy last Thursday, scored 14 per cent.

Former health minister and Howard loyalist Tony Abbott won the support of 9 per cent of respondents...

Tony "Reasonable People Skills" Abbott only scored the tick of 1 in 10 people?

How can that be? The poll must be rigged. Even on pure entertainment value alone, Tony "Too Honest" Abbott would have to score higher than Nelson.

The Newspoll found that Mr Rudd, now Prime Minister, held a commanding lead over Dr Nelson in the preferred leader stakes.

You can say that again. 61% to 14%

But with Nelson in charge, the Newspoll humour continues regardless :

...in further bad news for the Liberals, Mr Rudd was also the preferred prime minister among 27 per cent of Coalition voters.

More Coalition voters think that Ruddley Do Right makes a more preferable PM than Nelson and Abbott combined. And Rudd hadn't even been sworn in as PM when the poll was taken!

Fantastic!

The rest of the 'Nelson Really Sucks' story from The Australian guts the Liberal leader like a pig and throws his entrails around the room, churning through the embarrassment of Nelson getting teary in his 'victory speech' to shellshocked Liberals and copping a "verbal bollocking" from Turnbull for giving a speech that was as exciting and inspiring as any you might hear at a funeral.

Not surprisingly, Brendan Nelson is not so happy at the continuing 'Let's Make Front Page Stories Out Of Our Polls' paradigm in force at The Australian, which scatters it's 'Liberals Are Really Shit Now' headlines and data across the entire sprawl of Australia's Murdoch newspapers, which grabs a market share of more than 70% of all the newspapers published in Australia, and in turn creates news stories for the wire services, all the network and cable channel news programs and virtually all the ABC News broadcasts.

Oh yes, Turnbull will be leader of the Liberals. Sooner than Nelson thinks.

Here's Nelson going nuts about the Newspoll assassination attempt. Sorry, did we say going nuts? Of course we meant "laughing off" :

"It's day five, I mean, gimme a break," Dr Nelson said.

"I think the average Australian out there is saying `I might see if I can get to know this guy'.

"I think again the average Australian will say `look, fair go, let's just find out what the bloke's on about first and then make your own judgment'."

This is Nelson going nuts :




UPDATE : The Australian knife job story on Nelson appears to have been hastily rewritten, with this introduction now disappeared into the void :

The Liberal Party may have chosen the wrong man as its new leader, with Brendan Nelson only half as popular as beaten rival Malcolm Turnbull among voters.

The intro still shows up in Google Search for a Courier Mail listing, but a click only leads you to the story where Nelson "laughs off" the Newspoll results.

Fortunately, we saved an image of the knifing from news.com.au. The photo of Nelson was not chosen in his favour :



I particularly like the readers poll. Forget who the Liberals chose to lead the party. Who do you think should be leader? Vote now, and we'll turn the results into yet another story tomorrow saying news.com.au readers "overwhelmingly" prefer Turnbull to Nelson.

Your free media and democracy in action.

Nelson's Liberals : Sorry, We Still Won't Say Sorry

With the 'New' Liberals me-tooing on gay rights, canning the election-losing bits of WorkChoices, ratifying Kyoto and acknowledging that Australians had stopped listening to John Howard's ideas, about the only key issue they've got left that separates from Rudd Labor is the Nelson-led objection to saying "Sorry" to the Aboriginal people for past crimes and injustices.

Nelson's explanation that they shouldn't have to apologise for something they didn't actually do, because none of them were born during the worst of the Aboriginal land-stealing, massacres, rapes and slavery, is both sad and bizarre. That Nelson's Liberals won't say "Sorry" because they fear an onslaught of compensation claims is cold, calculating and downright offensive to most Aborigines.

The "Sorry, No Sorry" position now hangs over Nelson's Liberals like a curse. During the 2004 election, an Aboriginal elder pointed a bone at Howard, cursing him. It clearly took a few years for the curse to come to fruition.

But it will keep acting on Nelson's Liberals until they follow the will of the majority of Australians and make this modest, and painless, gesture of reconciliation.

Philip Adams points out here that you cannot claim the 'Feel The Pride' parts of our generations-past history, Gallipoli for example, and then refuse to claim the dark and ugly parts as well :

The brave bits of history, the proud moments belong to us all and we collectively bathe in the glory. It's the nasty bits of the past we don't acknowledge. They had nothing to do with us. They were no part of our business.

This is a lopsided view of history. Let us share in past glories while shunning past guilts. Moreover, we will do our best to deny that they happened. Enter the historical revisionism of a Keith Windschuttle. Massacres of Abos? Where? When? Show us the documents! Show us the receipts for the corpses! If there's no paperwork, it never happened. Oral histories of Aborigines? Vivid, detailed accounts of slaughter and atrocities can be discounted. They're not worth the paper they're not written on. No need for sorries there.

Howard's classic cherry-picking of 'We Own This' bit of history but 'We Don't Want That' should be left behind with the (hopefully) old Liberal Party, and its blinkered view of this nation's history, he led to such a shattering defeat ten days ago.

More from Adams :

(Howard's Liberals) want to choose the bits where our ancestors behaved decently, bravely, selflessly, and turn them into mythology, sentiment and, from time to time, the worst sort of patriotic pap. Look at us! Look who were are! In the same breath they turn their backs on our shames and crimes. They've got nothing to do with us. We weren't there. We hadn't been born. Sorry, Brendan, but that's not on.

Britain has to live with the potato famine in Ireland, Germany with the Holocaust, Japan with Manchuria, Turkey with the Armenian genocide and the US with slavery. You may be able to mount a convincing case that Australia's history, colonial as well as recent, in regard to Aborigines hardly compares. But the atrocities and tragedies occurred and continue to affect Aboriginal lives and Australia's sense of itself. And saying sorry is such a small thing.

The New Liberals Slash And Burn Howard-Era Ideals

Kyoto? "Me Too!" Gay Rights? "Me Too!"

We've already seen that the new Liberal leader Brendan "We Went To Iraq For The Oil " Nelson believes symbolism on Kyoto is important, mostly so they won't be totally isolated from the majority of Australians, but now Nelson wants to drape his 'revitalised' party in pink and come out for gay rights :

Brendan Nelson has backed equal legal rights for same-sex couples in a move that immediately distances the new Liberal leader from the conservative social policy of the Howard era.

"...I believe in addressing the social and economic injustices affecting homosexuals the length and breadth of this country.''

You can now toss the issue of the Liberals & Gay Rights into the flaming cauldron of dissent and chaos already blazing away over what stance they should be taking on WorkChoices and the whole "Sorry" issues.

Nelson also neon-signs what he clearly hopes will be the underlying philosophy of his New Liberals :

"We must have social and human ideals, which are the ultimate objectives of our economic development.

"I've sometimes said that, even if all our economic problems were solved, all our fundamental questions would remain unanswered.''

The New Liberals should consider a coalition with The Greens. Then they could isolate Labor as being out of touch and "Howard-like" in their conservative approach, under Kevin Rudd, to Australia's problems.

Nelson has also pledged not to just listen to what Australians have to say, but to really, really listen :

"I say to all Australians … to the men and women of Australia in every walk of life: My commitment to you is to provide you with an inspiring alternative government and a liberalism you can identify with," he said.

"I will work my damndest to see that I and my colleagues have earned your vote in three years' time."

The Opposition Leader agreed that the party needed a fundamental ideological rethink and promised to travel the "width and breadth" of the country seeking the views of ordinary Australians.

Let's hope he does a better job of it than John Howard, who, when confronted by those who opposed him or challenged his views, often had his security muscle them away, or instead became snappy,robotically recited mantras and took on the appearance of someone who was being forced to sniff a fresh dog turd.

It sounds like Nelson wants to reshape his party philosophy based on what the Australian people have to say. Which is certainly better than the way Howard shaped his political Liberal philosophy - by listening to histaliban of extremist and ultra-conservative media hacks, lackeys and Quadrant fetishists.

Speaking of which, rehabilitated Howard hugger Miranda Devine shows she knows how to go with the new flow with her rapturous praise of Brendan Nelson's performance as the New Liberals leader, only two days after he won the top job :

"He would make a wise and compassionate prime minister if ever he had the chance."

Nelson can rest assured that Devine will do everything she can to make sure Nelson gets that chance.

"Listen Up, Turnbull, This Is How It's Going To Be"

Esteemed Journo Offers Broken, Desperate Liberal Party A Helping Hand


The announcement will come within hours that Malcolm Turnbull has 'won' the leadership 'battle' to apply the jumper cables to the barely flailing corpse that is the Australian Liberals.

The Liberals are in big trouble, as every columnist in the country is telling you. These are desperate times for Australian conservatives. Not only will they have to publicly acknowledge that Al Gore was right on global warming, they will have to shut the hell up about "Evil Lefties", lest the Australian public think they are the party of John "That Stubborn Old Bastard!" Howard.

If Malcolm Turnbull hadn't launched his leadership coup, Brendan Nelson would be in charge tonight. Now while that would make for some spectacularly hilarious entertainment, it's not good for Australian democracy.

There has to be the illusion, at least, that the Labor Party will not rule the land for one or two generations to come and that we have, at the minimum, a viable two-party democracy.

Turnbull will be the new Liberal Party leader, as so many in the Australian media have already made clear. The Liberals don't have a say in this. The media decided it. It's Turnbull, or it's pitiless mockery from the front pages, opinion pages and probably the sports pages as well until the London Olympics.

But even choosing the new leader for the Liberals is not enough for the media. So thoroughly shipwrecked is the party of Australian conservatives that the big players in Australia's media are even writing talking points for the very first speech of the new leader who is, on early Thursday morning, still yet to be elected.

This from Paul Kelly, esteemed Editor At Large for The Australian, funneling new policy directly into the brain of Malcolm Turnbull, who is no doubt listening carefully :

Now is the time for the Liberals to be politically and intellectually ruthless. The new leader must burn the dead wood so furiously and symbolically that a new Liberal era is signalled. Nothing else will suffice.

"The Liberal Party accepts the new industrial relations settlement as voted by the people at this election." This should be Turnbull's pledge at his first press conference.

It will be a difficult retreat, but this is democracy.

A democracy where journalists write speeches in a national newspaper for political party leaders not yet elected? Yes.

"The Liberal Party believes in Kyoto ratification and a post-2012 system that binds developing nations into the compact." This needs to be Turnbull's second pledge at his media conference.

Whatever you say, boss!

Can anybody have a go at this? My turn :

"The Liberal Party believes in free video games and cannabis for old people who won't eat and are bored mindless, and will better the Labor Party in their planned national 'Sorry' to the Aboriginal people by saying 'We're Really, Really, Really, Really Sorry'."

We'll come back later today to see if Turnbull has delivered what his political masters in the media have demanded of him.

Turnbull Will Win Liberals Leadership, But Abbott Will Supply A Few Days Of Comedy

UPDATE : The Liberal Party have voted in former defence minister Brendan "We Went To Iraq For The Oil" Nelson as their new leader. Nelson defeated Turnbull by only three votes. More here.

The Liberal Party meltdown must, by now, be one of the most spectacular and entertaining in Australian political history. The election defeat was devastating, but the fallout has been absolutely nuclear.

And it continues.

Malcolm Turnbull will be the new leader of the Liberal Party by the weekend. I know this because the Murdoch media keeps telling me it will be so. And who in the Liberal Party would be brave enough to defy Rupert? The price paid for such insolence will be heavy. Newspoll derived headlines will shred any choice other than Turnbull.

The federal Liberals will move fast to distance themselves from WorkChoices and will repeatedly blame John Howard's decision to stay on as leader as the main reason for their shattering election loss.

If they don't do these things, they will draw too much attention to the other horrors of the Howard Liberals era that so many of those remaining so heartily, enthusiastically backed all year, and in some cases all decade, long.

As we mentioned here yesterday, Tony "Too Honest" Abbott has decided to offer up some comedy for the rest of the week, as he challenges Turnbull and the other contender, Brendan Nelson, for "the worst job in Australian politics", as the position of leader of the opposition is more commonly known in Canberra.

Tony Abbott kicks off the laughs by claiming he has much to offer the Liberal leadership, not the least his "people skills". Yes, really :

He admitted did not have the best of campaigns, but said he had demonstrated "reasonably good people skills"...

Here's but one example of Abbott's people skills.

"I had some tough times on the campaign trail and I would be the last to say that I was prince perfect,'' he said.

"We badly mishandled the politics of the fourth term [but] I’m not going to be repudiating the Howard government," he said.

That's why he won't get the job.

The Liberals are heading to the centre, and will rebrand themselves as far more tolerant understanding of the tough economic times faced by the millions of Australians who live in poverty, and the millions more who will be facing a fairly new kind of Australian poverty - they'll live in nice houses, have good jobs, but will have trouble paying for rising mortages, petrol and food bills.

Abbott was still singing the praises of John Howard :

"[He] will go down in history as a very great prime minister."

Very great? What happened to the Greatest Prime Minister In Australian History? Or at the very least, the Greatest Prime Minister Since Robert Menzies?

Here's Paul Keating explaining why Abbott won't be the new opposition leader :

"Well I don't know who should lead the Liberals, but I mean, I know who I wouldn't be going for. If they take Tony Abbott they're just going to go back down hill to wherever they've been. He's the one most like Howard ideologically....he's what I call a young fogey.

"Howard was the old fogey. He's the young fogey."

You can bet the Malcolm Turnbull backers are already calling Tony Abbott "The Young Fogey" behind his back as they try to scuttle the former health minister's support.


"I Want To Lead The Liberal Death March Into Greater Political Oblivion"

Tony Abbott : What A Scumbag

Tony Abbott : What A Scumbag Part Two

Tony Abbott : I Want To Lead Liberal Party Death March Into Greater Oblivion

By Darryl Mason

Oh please please please make Tony "Too Honest" Abbott the new leader of the Liberal Party. He's now offered himself up as a human sacrifice to Julia Gillard :

Outgoing health minister Tony Abbott has declared he will challenge Malcolm Turnbull for the leadership of the Liberal Party.

The race is on to fill the Liberal power vacuum after Peter Costello's shock decision not to nominate for the job yesterday.

"I'm offering myself as a candidate, I don't know how the numbers are likely to pan out," Mr Abbott said this morning.

"Obviously we're mourning our politically fallen colleagues but I will be a candidate. "

"I think there are going to be some tricky problems of party management but I think I have reasonably good people skills.

"It's going to be very important to hold the Government accountable.

"I think it's very important that we're fair dinkum with the Australian people."

That would be a nice change. Please lead by example, Mr Abbott.

"I think in the months and years ahead, people are going to want substance, not spin from their political leaders."

He did learn something from the massacre of the Coalition at Saturday's election after all.

Abbott has clearly decided to ignore the advice of his mates who reportedly had been pushing him to give up politics and "go home to his wife" when the Coalition lost the election.

Tony Abbott is already about as popular as a kick in the nuts with most Australians. Having him pout, hiss, stare demonically, yell, shriek and whine as opposition leader for the next three years will steer the Liberals the way of the Democrats. Total oblivion.

Plus, with Tony "Too Raw" Abbott as the bullhead of the New Far Right, room will be made for Alex Hawke to be given a 'voice' in the Liberal Party, now he's completed his coup crusade and has been installed as the member for Mitchell, in Sydney's Bible Belt.

If you don't know who Alex Hawke is yet, don't worry, you'll hear about him soon enough. His first speech to Parliament will likely feature his favourite mantra about the power and beauty of what happens when Christianity Meets Capitalism.

That's exactly what Australian conservative politics needs right now, the rise of wealthy evangelicals. After all, look how well it's worked out in the United States with President Bush.


Tony Abbott Furious At Success Of Dirty, Rotten Labor Trick He Didn't Think Of Pulling First

Tony Abbott's Last Stand : Why The Liberal Party Won't Lose The Election

Greg Sheridan Pegs Tony Abbott As The New Messiah Of The New Liberals