"The Liberals Are Back!"

@AlexHawkeMP favourites this brilliantly accurate, only slightly exaggerated, take on last week's Liberal Party Meltdown from Hungry Beast :



When the next Newspoll shows a 10 point two party preferred leap for the Liberals, you are going to see that headline all over the media....Well, The Australian anyway.

The Libs should move fast and get that phrase, "The Liberals Are Back!", into their advertising as soon as the Newspoll results are out.

It works, and it will also provide plenty of fodder for the satirists.

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What's God Got To Do With It?

By Darryl Mason

Looks like a photo editor at the Sunday Herald Sun has a sense of humour. Could there be a more non-flattering pic of Tony Abbott (clothed, that is) kicking around to illuminate this story?



Frightening.

Another Glenn Milne 'exclusive' :

The only declared leadership challenger to Malcolm Turnbull, Tony Abbott, says he's a "pragmatic common-sense" politician and not a narrow-minded conservative.

Who writes Abbott's material? He should be doing stand-up comedy. Wait, he already is!

Well known for his staunch Catholicism, Mr Abbott said he had never let his religion interfere with his policy decisions....

No. Never. For Abbott, it's always what's best for Christian Australia. And God, obviously.

(Abbott) conceded that colleague Joe Hockey might be considered by some a better choice as Liberal leader if Mr Hockey chose to stand on Tuesday.

Malcolm Turnbull must be sick to fucking death by now of doing so much charity work for the Libs. How much more humiliation can he take?

Abbott :

".....I don't think I am necessarily God's gift to politics...."

Necessarily? He's leaving himself some wiggle room to drop the "I don't think" and "necessarily" should Biblical Armageddon arrive.

"This is not all about me. It's about a change to policy and putting the Liberal Party in the best united state to win the next election."

If the Liberals keep fucking around like they have these past couple of weeks, The Greens and Labor are going to rip away Libseats across the country. Without even trying.

Bob Brown must be laughing himself to sleep.

McKew Farewells The "Brutishness" Of The Howard Era

At the launch of the book that chronicles her fight to overthrow John Howard's 33 year reign in Bennelong, Maxine McKew finally spoke her mind on the legacy of the man she removed from Australian politics :

"I think Paul Keating got it right...this election has wiped away the toxicity. People are smiling, a sort of sense of, we can get on and do things.

"And I think we all want to get on and do things in a certain way, in a civil way, in a sensible way, and get rid of perhaps I think that brutishness that has characterised our politics probably since 2001.

"A terrible thing happened then, but we all, we all have assembled here today, haven't we? And I think it's time to get rid of that horrible absolutism - because it's just not going to get us through the complex issues we need to solve."

The Liberals should be thanking McKew. They wanted to get rid of Howard, but they couldn't do it. Too scared, too gutless, too spineless. So they had to rely on a former ABC host and Labor candidate to do the job for them.

The Battle For Bennelong book was launched by Julian Morrow from The Chaser, who showed how easy it already is for comedians to rip the Rudd government, as they so enthusiastically shredded Howard & Friends :

The Arts Minister, Peter Garrett, he was going to be here today, he even penned a short jocular speech for the occasion. Unfortunately Penny Wong couldn't be here to deliver it, so …

Garrett is set to replace Alexander Downer as the most popular power figure for comedic mockery in Australian politics. At least until Alex Hawke gets a position of some power in the opposition, around the same time that Brendan Nelson gets ousted from the leadership.

Tony Abbott : I Want To Lead Liberal Party Death March Into Greater Oblivion

By Darryl Mason

Oh please please please make Tony "Too Honest" Abbott the new leader of the Liberal Party. He's now offered himself up as a human sacrifice to Julia Gillard :

Outgoing health minister Tony Abbott has declared he will challenge Malcolm Turnbull for the leadership of the Liberal Party.

The race is on to fill the Liberal power vacuum after Peter Costello's shock decision not to nominate for the job yesterday.

"I'm offering myself as a candidate, I don't know how the numbers are likely to pan out," Mr Abbott said this morning.

"Obviously we're mourning our politically fallen colleagues but I will be a candidate. "

"I think there are going to be some tricky problems of party management but I think I have reasonably good people skills.

"It's going to be very important to hold the Government accountable.

"I think it's very important that we're fair dinkum with the Australian people."

That would be a nice change. Please lead by example, Mr Abbott.

"I think in the months and years ahead, people are going to want substance, not spin from their political leaders."

He did learn something from the massacre of the Coalition at Saturday's election after all.

Abbott has clearly decided to ignore the advice of his mates who reportedly had been pushing him to give up politics and "go home to his wife" when the Coalition lost the election.

Tony Abbott is already about as popular as a kick in the nuts with most Australians. Having him pout, hiss, stare demonically, yell, shriek and whine as opposition leader for the next three years will steer the Liberals the way of the Democrats. Total oblivion.

Plus, with Tony "Too Raw" Abbott as the bullhead of the New Far Right, room will be made for Alex Hawke to be given a 'voice' in the Liberal Party, now he's completed his coup crusade and has been installed as the member for Mitchell, in Sydney's Bible Belt.

If you don't know who Alex Hawke is yet, don't worry, you'll hear about him soon enough. His first speech to Parliament will likely feature his favourite mantra about the power and beauty of what happens when Christianity Meets Capitalism.

That's exactly what Australian conservative politics needs right now, the rise of wealthy evangelicals. After all, look how well it's worked out in the United States with President Bush.


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