Whales To Show Appreciation For Being Saved From Japanese Harpoons With Ceremonial Mass Beaching

The Daily Telegraph's Tim Blair on the latest whale-related fundraising promotion by depopulationist Paul Watson :

The notion that the 491-ton Shonan Maru 2 – maximum speed 12 knots – could outmanoeuvre a 13-ton, 45-knot trimaran like the Ady Gil is insane, but the media seem to be buying it.

Note, Blair doesn't name 'the media' who seem to be "buying it".

Why?

From the Daily Telegraph online :



That's why.

This is standard operation procedure for Blair.

If the Sydney Morning Herald or the ABC promote someone like Sea Shithead's Paul Watson, who wants to see the world's population reduced to less than 1 billion people, then he and his droogies will go to town on the "leftist" Herald and gronk about privatising the ABC, but when his own newspaper leaps onto the latest eco-clickbait bandwagon, well, the Daily Telegraph becomes simply "the media".


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Rare Australian Plant Has Been Cloning Itself For At Least 43,000 Years



There are believed to be only 500 examples of this native Tasmanian shrub, King's Lomatia (Lomatia tasmanica), growing in the wild south west of the island.

From Wikipedia :

The plant has shiny green leaves and bears pink flowers, but yields neither fruit nor seeds.

King's Lomatia is unusual because all of the remaining plants are genetically identical. Because it has three sets of chromosomes (a triploid) and is therefore sterile, reproduction occurs only vegetatively: when a branch falls, that branch grows new roots, establishing a new plant that is genetically identical to its parent.

Although all the plants are technically separate in that each has its own root system, they are collectively considered to be one of the oldest living plant clones. Each plant's life span is approximately 300 years, but the plant has been cloning itself for at least 43,600 years (possibly up to 135,000 years).

Fascinating.


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"Is This A Game.....Or Is This Real?"

The 'story trailer' for the Predator Vs Alien game Australian censors assessed, banned, endured a storm of controversy over, then reassessed before creating a new category, "strong science fiction violence", which then allowed them to pass the game for release with an MA15 rating :





Here's how the Australian Classification Review Board explained its decision :

In the Review Board's opinion the violence depicted in the game can be accommodated within the MA 15+ category as the violent scenes are not prolonged and are interspersed with longer non violent sequences. The violence is fantastical in nature and justified by the context of the game, set in a futuristic science-fiction world, inhabited by aliens and predators. This context serves to lessen its impact. The more contentious violence is randomly generated and is not dependent on player selection of specific moves.

Aliens Vs Predator is released on February 18.

Did you know koalas have been around for tens of millions of years, and that they're bigger now and more abundant than any other time in their history? Neither did I :

Scientists have gained a glimpse into how the koala, one of the nation's most loved creatures, may have acted tens of millions of years ago.

....perhaps the most important finding to come out of the research is that never in their history have koalas had a period when they were so abundant as they are now.

The fossil remains of the extinct koalas....were about a quarter to a third smaller than today's koalas....

....24 million years ago, koalas and their close relatives, wombats, had long diverged on their evolutionary tree. Koalas were already creatures living in the forest canopy and specialising in eating leaves.

Perhaps the biggest difference between the ancient koalas and the modern variety is that it is clear from the fossil jaws and teeth that whatever the extinct creatures were eating it was nowhere near as tough as the leaves from present day gum trees.

The dominance of eucalypts in Australian forests is a relatively new thing - the result of the drying of the continent following a succession of ice ages. Koala teeth reflect this rarity of eucalyptus in ancient Australian forests.

The Full Story Is Here

Rudd's Totalitarianyrannical Grip On The Nation Even Extends To The Family Pet

7.30 Report, August 28, 2009 :

Q : So (PM Kevin Rudd) doesn't come home and kick the cat?

Therese Rein : Oh, no, he would never kick....

Q : ....to use a well-known imagery.

Therese Rein : He would never kick Jasper or the dog or anyone at home. No. I don't see him do that.

No, Rudd has other ways of disciplining Jasper The Cat :



Looks like a combination nerve and throat hold.

Every cat owner knows the expression on Jasper's face. It's equal parts "Someone or something's about to get shreddded" and "Help Me!"

Free Jasper!

Meanwhile, Rudd exploits the cat and the dog, by turning their adventures around The Lodge into a children's book :

"...we've interviewed the cat and the dog. They have been very co-operative in their responses..."

Yes, I bet they were.


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Eyes In Australian Skies

Surveillance drones very similar to the one in the below story have already been test-flown in the skies above Australian cities by the Australian Federal Police. All a journalist has to do is ask the AFP to officially deny it :



Surveillance drones were used, briefly, during the Victorian bushfires in February 2009, though there doesn't seem to be anything online about their effectiveness.

Rumours still float around the Defence Department that the Rudd government will be buying less Joint Strike Fighters so they can purchase some three dozen unmanned aerial combat vehicles (UACVs), which will fly fast enough to be used in missions with the JSFs.

In the 1980s, to have even suggested that by 2015 there would be 'Eye In The Sky' flying robots, and armed robots at that, cruising around Australian skies would have seen you labeled a loon, and a science fiction-addled paranoidian.

And yet, here they come.

There will be little outrage or fuss because UAVs, particularly in this age of Catatrosphic Bushfire Warnings, will likely prove extremely helpful, and life-saving, in spotting outbreaks of fire as soon as they begin, and essential in tracking the spread of those fires.

The future is here, and it makes a weird buzzing noise.

It's Time To Begin The Debate On A Big New Tax On Knee-High Socks

You'd think living somewhere nice and green with an open sky, fresh air, breeding beautiful alpacas might put you in a positive, optimistic mood about the future.

Not so, as alpaca breeder Gerard Oosterman reveals while detailing "My Dreams For 2010" :

A kind of BUG A UP campaign to install loathing towards those that continue, despite many warnings, to drive obscenely large fuel gulping hydrocarbon, nitrogen oxides, CO belching four wheel drive vehicles including SUVs, especially when those vehicles are black.

Spray cans will be distributed for the more sensible 1200cc electric/gas/diesel combo car owners to spray those ratbags car owners that defy all warnings. Those with spray on their fat cars will thus be stigmatised and shamed, and, furthermore, they will only be allowed to drive in slow lanes and by push power only.

To help combat obesity, closure of all food-courts at shopping malls, with the exception of coffee lounges with Portuguese cakes, Sushi bars and fruit juice bars. All tuck shop mothers to be trained in giving dietary guidance to school kids.

All McDonalds to be phased out, replaced by Finnish, Estonian or Balkan black bread with cottage cheese outlets. Those 'car stop' eating venues will be indicated by modest signage portraying a thin but healthy couple with smiling kids munching on black bread with rising sun and sheafs of golden brown Rye in the background. Meat pies still OK, but one per family; no sauce.

Of course, all this to be funded by steep increases in tax on all alcohol, cigarettes, petrol, knee-high socks and drivers of hum vees and enormous four wheelers.

You've got to have a troubled mind to want to deny working families a bit of sauce for their pies.

ABC's The Drum Unleashed also has "My Dreams For 2010" from Tony Abbott, Sophie Cunningham, Keysar Trad, Robert Manne, Julian Morrow, Jonathan Green and others here.


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New Zealand philosophy professor, Denis Dutton :

Apocalyptic scenarios are a diversion from real problems — poverty, terrorism, broken financial systems — needing intelligent attention. Even something as down-to-earth as the swine-flu scare has seemed at moments to be less about testing our health care system and its emergency readiness than about the fate of a diseased civilization drowning in its own fluids. We wallow in the idea that one day everything might change in, as St. Paul put it, the “twinkling of an eye” — that a calamity might prove to be the longed-for transformation. But turning practical problems into cosmic cataclysms takes us further away from actual solutions.

This applies, in my view, to the towering seas, storms, droughts and mass extinctions of popular climate catastrophism. Such entertaining visions owe less to scientific climatology than to eschatology, and that familiar sense that modernity and its wasteful comforts are bringing us closer to a biblical day of judgment.

The Full Story Is Here

Then again, being blindly optimistic has its downside, as well :

A study published in the November-December issue of Australasian Science found that people in a negative mood are more critical of, and pay more attention to, their surroundings than happier people, who are more likely to believe anything they are told.

“Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, cooperation and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world,” Joseph P. Forgas, a professor of social psychology at the University of New South Wales in Australia, wrote in the study.

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A UFO Encounter Of The Third Kind At Milne Bay

Rowan Callick digs up extraordinary letters from an Australian Anglican missionary, William Gill, detailing a spectacular UFO sighting at Milne Bay, in Papua New Guinea, back in 1959 (excerpts) :

"Last night we at Boianai experienced about four hours of UFO activity, and there is no doubt whatsoever that they are handled by beings of some kind. At times it was absolutely breathtaking.

"We watched figures appear on top - four of them - no doubt that they are human.

"Two smaller UFOs were seen at the same time, stationary. One above the hills west, another overhead.

"On the large one, two of the figures seemed to be doing something near the centre of the deck . . . were occasionally bending over and raising their arms as though adjusting or setting up something (not visible).

"One figure seemed to be standing looking down at us (a group of about a dozen). I stretched my arm above my head and waved. To our surprise the figure did the same."

"As dark was beginning to close in, I sent Eric Kodawara for a torch and directed a series of long dashes towards the UFO. After a minute or two of this, the UFO apparently acknowledged by making several wavering motions back and forth."

"...there was nothing eerie or other-worldly about any of this. It was all so ordinary, as ordinary as a Ford car.

"It looked a perfectly normal sort of object, an Earth-made object. I realised, of course, that some people might think of this as a flying saucer, but I took it to be some kind of hovercraft the Americans or even the Australians had built. The figures inside looked perfectly human."

There were almost 40 other witnesses, and the encounter lasted for hours.

Read The Full Story Here

The Australian and/or American military were obviously test-flying some very interesting new aircraft in PNG during the Cold War, piloted by crews bored enough by their tasks to want to do something to excite the locals, and willing to flash their lights in return to the blinking torch light coming from William Gill and his friends below.


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"I Don't See Why It Should Be Blasphemy....Just Saying Jehovah"

How sad. Ireland steps back into the dark ages :

From today, 1 January 2010, the new Irish blasphemy law becomes operational, and we begin our campaign to have it repealed. Blasphemy is now a crime punishable by a €25,000 fine. The new law defines blasphemy as publishing or uttering matter that is grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby intentionally causing outrage among a substantial number of adherents of that religion....

There's a list of 25 Blasphemous Quotes Here published by Atheist Ireland to commemorate the utter stupidity of the reviving of this old law, but it's always hard to go past this piece of brilliance :



As the number of true believers of all religious faiths continues to plummet, those who profit the most from organised religions will do everything they can to try and stop the criticism, and mockery, that is ultimately freeing people the world over from dangerous historical lies and fear-ruled absurd mythologies. The introduction, or reviving, of blasphemy laws are just one of the weapons they are utilising in their war against the loss of faith in Faith.

Note: I've used the Google Cache link for the 25 Blasphemous Quotes because the www.blasphemy.ie page has been inaccessible for hours.

Feel free to include your favourite blasphemous quote in comments.

And so forth....

2009 : You Mean That Was It? Part One

I was going to cram a full year of posts from The Orstrahyun that I thought you might be interested in revisiting, but the list got too long, too fast, and I kept stopping to re-read stories I'd forgotten I'd written, about incidents that have already washed down most peoples' memory drain. And then the sun came up....

So here, in no particular order, are January/February 2009 :

Black Saturday, 3.26am

Holocaust Of Fire, Cyclones Of Flames, Burn Hundreds To Death

Mother Nature : Terrorist Or Mass Murderer?

Sam The Koala : "C'mere Mate, You All Right Buddy?"

One Beer-Battered Sea Kitten And Chips, Please

Even Teenage Girls In Australia Can Punch Out A Shark

Tragedy Porn : Did It Do It For You?

John Howard Happy That Al Qaeda's Prayers Have Been Answered

Raging Against The Firey Accused Of Killer Arson Challenges Online Freedom Of Speech

Thousands Of Working Families Live Without Electricity, Gas

Australian Ally Slaughters Hundreds Of Women And Children

Adelaide Always Delivers

Essay : This Is Australia, We Burn

Peter Costello : Non-Christians Threaten Australia's Future

Moderated Mainstream Media Blog Bleeds 'Assassinate Bob Brown' Comments

"Fuck Off, We're Full"....Of Racist Bogans

True Blue Australian Stuff Australia-Hating Lefties Love To Hate

Tony Abbott : May I Compare John Howard To The Lord, Or Is That Going Too Far?

Just Another 'Possum Goes Wild In A Leagues Club' Video

The Anti-American Hatefest 2009-2017 Begins

The Rise Of The Mid-Life Crisis Hoon

Australia's Bermuda Triangle.....Or Is It Australia's Area 51?

You Can Dump A UteLoad Of Horse Shit At The Gates Of NSW Parliament And
Only Cope An $1100 Fine

Photography : A Native Garden In Springwood, New South Wales.

The rest of the year in highlights to come.

I hope you've enjoyed reading The Orstrahyun this year as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

I think I might have to get into video stories a bit more next year, or at least some audio as opposed to just words and the occasional photo.

I've been editing a movie I shot with Dave Gleeson (as brilliant an actor as he is a lead singer) a few years ago, about an anti-war protestor who takes the prime minister hostage for 48 hours. I decided to wait until Australian troops were out of Iraq before I finished the movie, it gets a bit hardcore, and I never liked the way it ended before, with the Iraq War still unresolved, at least as far as Australia's involvement.

But the editing of that movie, and trying to fix an infuriating number of sound problems, has been the sort of fun but frustrating challenge that I think I need to wrap my brain about a bit more next year, lest it grow (more) dull.

I'll try and get some clips from the untitled-for-now movie up on this blog in a few weeks.

Have a great New Year's Eve.

And to the thousands who visit here regularly, I'm glad you like what you read enough to keep coming back. And thanks, as always, for not making me spend hours a day moderating comments, or reminding me too often of the stories I've promised but haven't yet finished.



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Possum Vs Cat

"Hey, how you doing? Look, I'm just here for this scrap of apple, okay? I don't want any trouble. I'll just suck the juice out of this and then I'm outta here" :



"Okay, cat, I can totally see you, you know. And my claws are bigger than yours, buddy. You wanna dance? Huh? Do you?" :



"I asked you nicely to leave me alone. But I will kick your arse if you don't get out of here!" :



"Come back and fight like a cat! You coward!" :



"I said I just want to finish this bit of apple and then I'll be on my way, okay?"



Photos by Darryl Mason

Roland S. Howard died today, aged 50.

There's a fine selection of Howard videos and interviews on YouTube, if you're not familiar with his work, or you want to take a look back.




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From the front page of news.com.au today :



At the bottom of the front page of news.com.au, as on most other Australian news sites, readers are encouraged to video 'news events' and send the footage in :

News.com.au wants you to be involved in breaking the news. When news happens and you are there, let us know by sending us your pictures, video and news tips.

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"One Reason Conspirators Said They Bombed The Nightclub In Bali In 2002 Was That It Did Not Allow Locals In"









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Oxford Falls, near Sydney's Northern Beaches, December 27 :













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Jump It, Crash It, Burn It, Blow It Up

Grant Page, the legendary Australian stuntman, was sitting at home in early 1997, wondering what crazy thing someone would be willing to pay him to do next. The phone rang. It was Damon Albarn from Blur. The band was on tour in Europe, they had to come with a video for the new single M.O.R. and they'd recently come across the DVD of Grant Page's 1970s stunt doco Danger Freaks. They'd loved it and they now wanted to give Page more than $200,000 to put together a stunt-packed video clip. He had less than a month to conceive it, shoot it, edit it and deliver it to MTV.

From the Grant Page biography, Man On Fire : A Stunt Of A Life (Allen & Unwin, 2009) :

The scenario was simple. We were a group escaping with a whole load of money and kept facing all sorts of dangerous situations as we fled. It was, of course, just an excused for us to perform lots of stunts that were connected by a soundtrack and a loose narrative.

We had one of the biggest cranes on top of a big new building in the city - it was huge, hundreds of feet high - and all four of us, as the four members of the band, had to grab hold of it and swing off the building, right out over the city, then back down until we landed on the truck.

(shooting the Blur video) was very exciting, very daring and, ultimately, very dangerous. It was not without mushaps either, including the one where my son Gulliver abseiled down the Harbour Bridge, landed on me and broke his kneecap.

Because we were basically in charge of the shoot, I was able to do a few stunts that I'd always wanted to, of of which was a ground-to-plane transfer. Actually it turned out to be a water-to-plane transfer.

Here's the video :





The Man On Fire biography is a pretty good read. A lot of it reads like transcripts of interviews with Page, and it can be a bit all over the place, but he's got some incredible stories of Australian movie and TV history to tell from over 35 years of crashing cars, throwing himself off cliffs, setting himself on fire and riding motorcycles off waterfalls. All without breaking a bone, on set.

A best-of compilation of Page's work :





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It was a little bit crowded at the Queen Victoria Building earlier today.





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"Just For One Christmas, I'd Like To See The Meek Inherit The Earth"

To make up for the Santa-related violence of The Christmas Incident, here's a classic Twilight Zone from 1960, one of the great Christmas fables, and all the more remarkable a piece of TV because it was performed pretty well live to air.

Part One :



Part Two :



Part Three :



Yeah, it made me cry a little, too.

The Christmas Incident

By Darryl Mason

What are you doing here? Seriously. What the fuck? It's Christmas Day. You should be drunk and in front the TV. Or at least smiling at relatives as you quietly hum a familiar tune you don't even like, but like a lot right now.

Yeah, I forget that some of you have those phones that are the internet, but smaller, and you're probably in front of the TV right now, drunk as hell.

But surely there's got to be something more fulfilling to do with these precious Christmas Day minutes than to read this stuff?

No?

Okay, well all I got is this series of twoots collected from Twitter last night, about a shocking gun-related early Christmas morning incident.

Heard something on the roof. Sounds like hooves or something. I'm loading the shotgun. I'm going to have a look. Shoot first, questions later.

Oh God, I think I just did something terrible. In the dark, the bell the old fat white-bearded bloke was holding looked just like a pistol.

The old bloke fell off the roof when I shot him. He's flopping around on the lawn. He's wearing red, so I can't tell if he's bleeding.

There's a whole load of frigging reindeer on my roof. I'm reloading. One of them looks pissed. His nose is glowing bright red. Taking aim.

Took out two of the reindeer on my roof with one shell. Good eating. After butchering I can fit maybe five carcasses in the deep freeze.

If I'd known they were flying reindeer I wouldn't have shot 'em so fast. They'd be damn handy, better than a jetpack. Killed 4, rest flew away.

The old bloke I blew off my roof just croaked "R...uuudolph!" and that rednose deer crawled over to him. I thought it was dead. Tough deer.

If I am right, I can do em both with one cartridge. Seems to be a lot of crying, shrieking, screaming kids here now. Sirens coming closer.

Yeah, bit of a bad scene. Kids and parents are hysterical. They all seem to know who this white bearded dying bloke is. I can't finish him now. Dammit.

I've had to barricade myself inside my house. Screaming kids are trying to smash the windows. I left the deer carcasses on the lawn. Dammit.

Jeez, they got a cop on a speaker. They're saying this is a siege, and "You Shot Santo Claws, You Fuck!". I was defending my property.

That Santo Claws bloke wasn't as bad off as I thought. He just tried to kick in the front door. Cops told him to stop. He didn't. He got tasered

Police negotiator says he understands my plight, says I was in my right to blow that old fuck off my roof, but he still has to arrest me.

I said yes to a lawyer who offered representation after winching down from a TV news helicopter. Seven figure TV, book & movie deal on the cards. Coming out now.

Lawyer said I might have to do two months, then I'd be out and set. That Santo Claws fucker who landed reindeer on my roof is okay.

Apparently, I am "The Stupid Fuck Who Ruined Christmas!" according to the newspaper front pages around the world today.

I don't remember ever hearing about this Santo Claws bloke, and his very hard to believe story of delivering presents to kids, worldwide.

Lawyer says his name is actually 'Santa Claus' and is beloved by children across the world. Says I have to start saying "Merry Christmas." It's part of the plea deal. So ditto that. I still don't get it.

Mel Gibson's playing me in the movie. It's called I Shot Santa. Jack Thompson is playing the old fat bloke in red I blew off my roof. They got cool robot deer.

This Santa Claus fucker is suing the studio making our movie. He says the title, I Shot Santa, violates his trademark. I don't get paid until 1st day of production.

I may have to shoot him again.

Merry Christmas.





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A true bluesman.



Above image from RoseTattoo.com

We Stalk Mothers & Their Infants

The Daily Telegraph, now publishing stalker-creepy photo galleries of babies without their parents' permission.



You can find the link yourself, if it interests you so.

More of that "quality journalism" Rupert Murdoch insists people will pay to read online.

At least, that's what he's praying will happen.

Smurvatar



(h/t @Great Dismal)

I'd rather drive anthrax-dipped nails into my head with an electric hammer than ever again listen to anything from Chris DeBurgh. But DeBurgh does do a good line in self-praising raves against critics of his 'music' :

"How you must have cringed at every call of 'Chris, we love you'; how you must have felt isolated as the audience rose to their feet as one, singing, dancing and shouting out for more; how you must have growled to yourself as you left, surrounded by so many happy people, to make your curmudgeonly way to the safety of the street outside. You really should look up the word 'entertainment' again, you might be surprised to see that it is all about people having a GOOD TIME!!"

Oh So Fugly

ABC Rural Queensland has a fantastic story and photo collection of QLD's Ugliest Pets for 2009. Worth a read and a run through of all the photos, many good laughs and sympathetic 'awwwws' will result. The photo caption writer also had plenty of fun.

A few of my favourite entrants :









From the ABC News story :

Ugly animals aren't going away, in fact, in an evolutionary sense they are essential.

Just like humans, animals can change their opinions rather quickly on what turns them on, meaning traits considered undesirable can quickly come into favour.

Some of these traits seem downright bizarre to humans, even ugly, but Australian National University evolutionary biologist Professor Jenny Graves says that's natural.

"There are lots of animals which have what we call sexually selected traits, that don't look beautiful to us."

"For instance, the red bums of female baboons don't appeal to us very much, but they certainly appeal to a male baboon very much."

"We might not find a hump on the head of a fish beautiful, but that's the way that a female measures this particular kind of fish as a potential mate."

"I don't know that she's assessing beauty, she's just assessing is this animal going to give me more eggs and a better chance of passing my genes on to the offspring," Professor Graves says.

Many evolutionary biologists believe these 'desirable traits' come into popularity through accident.

It's a process known as co-evolution, where a fine specimen of male fish with a lump on his head happens to meet a female who thinks it's a desirable trait

The traits animals don't like often remain lower frequency in the population - but what's unpopular today might not be unpopular down the track.

"The environment is patchy enough that you've always got little niches where it's not good to have a big tail, or it's not good to have a red rump, or it's not good to have a bump on your head."

Go Here For The Full Story And Photo Collection



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When Saints Can Restore Limbs To Amputees, All Will Believe



Regardless of personal faith-based beliefs, it's always good to see a generous, compassionate, anti-authoritarian honoured. Even if it is a century after their death.

According to this story, something like 6 out of 10 Australians will need little convincing that even in post-life, Mary MacKillop could have been responsible for the minimum two miracles required for sainthood.

David Marr :

Polling over the past decade suggests faith in miracles is intensifying. This may be the work of the late Pope John Paul II, who created armies of fresh saints credited with medical miracles.

Australia's current enthusiasm stands in contrast to the ISSP finding in the late 1990s: that only 36 per cent of Australians and 59 per cent of Americans believed in miracles. Both figures have shot through the roof.

Mary MacKillop undertaking healings from beyond the grave isn't even that hard a sell with those Australians who deny or disbelieve the existence of God. Twenty five percent of atheists and agnostics believe in miracles.

Unfortunately, the poll didn't reveal how many of those 5.6 million or so Australians only believe in miracles when it comes to their favourite cricket and/or rugby league teams.

Back in July, prime minister Kevin Rudd met with Pope Benedict in Vatican City, and pushed the case for MacKillop sainthood. Rudd also found time to hear Pope Benedict's pitch for some ethical backboning of the apparently now gestating 'world government' :

At a meeting in the pontiff's private library, the two men discussed the Pope's recently released encyclical which calls for a new world structure based on equity and fairness, rather than self-interest and greed.

Greed. It's so 20th century.

Geoffrey Gurrumul, one of Australia's most gifted singers and songwriters, has had to go down market and share a stage with some old bearded hippy in Paris to get Europeans to pay attention to his most beautiful voice.

Such is the price, the sacrifices demanded, of remarkable talent and pending international fame.


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Anti-Censorship Censored

By Darryl Mason

Here's the front page text from the anti-RuddNet censorship protest site, www.stephenconroy.com.au, which was pulled offline on Friday afternoon :

stephenconroy.com.au - Minister For Fascism

"The interesting part of this is that it shows that the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy has not even been forward thinking enough to register his own name domain." -- f_bassman@Whirlpool

AUSTRALIAS INTERNET IS ABOUT TO BE CENSORED BY A FASCIST ASS! READ ALL ABOUT SENATOR STEPHEN CONROY HERE!

DON'T THINK THE LABOR PARTY HAS THE RIGHT TO ARBITRATE WHAT YOU SEE ON THE INTERNET? TELL THEM!

EMAIL THE MINISTER HERE AND TELL HIM THAT AS A VOTING AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN YOU FIND THIS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!

Make sure you check out our LINKS page and support our comrades! We'll keep adding relevant stuff as we come across it.

DO WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW, MR CONROY? WE DON'T WANT THIS. WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT IT. THIS IS THE AUSTRALIAN PUBLIC TELLING YOU NO!!

Like commenters at Whirlpool, I find it downright incredible that nobody in the office of Stephen Conroy, Minister For RuddNet, was on top of the intertubeywebs enough to have thought, "You know, let's register the local domain name for Conroy, so no-one else gets in first and starts...I don't know...a high profile mock site under his name or something."

I don't think Conroy, well anyone in the Rudd government, really, is aware of just how much embarrassing chaos they will unleash upon themselves when RuddNet Censorship becomes a reality. I mean, more of a reality than having an anti-censorship site shut down.

There are thousands of freenet hackers and activists, tens of thousands more likely, all over the world who will see it as a personal mission and a satisfying challenge to do everything they can to destroy any attempt by the RuddNet to censor or vasty restrict the free sharing of information in a democracy like Australia.

They will first be called "extremists". Then "terrorists."

Asher Moses On StephenConroy.Com.Au

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Joseph : "That's The Last Time I Go Out Of Town On Business"



The Auckland Anglican archdeacon who erected the above very effective billboard, aimed at getting passersby discussing the true meaning of the Christmas Story is, admirably, refusing to back down or apologise, after a storm of negative media coverage, a paint bomb attack and calls and warnings from the utterly humourless Catholic Church :

Archdeacon Glynn Cardy said the church meant to challenge a fundamentalist interpretation of Christ's birth.

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about. Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

Cardy, and other members of his church, have had to even endure threats of violence for daring to get people to have a think and a laugh.

"They are driven to give threats and abuse - and [yet] they say 'we love Jesus and he loves us'. I'm sorry, but they don't get the irony of their behaviour."

The New Zealand Herald received this e-mail :

"May the wrath of Almighty God strike down this abomination and bring those responsible to their knees in fear of Him."

Come on. If anyone was going to find this billboard deliciously funny, it would be God.

- title of this blog post stolen from a Sam Kinison routine.

Dec. 19 update from ninemsn :

....Glynn Cardy, said the billboard was "attacked by a knife-wielding Christian fanatic".

Later in the evening another group of fanatics ripped it down.

"When knives are wielded in the name of God, I have two responses. One is to act to ensure the safety of the public and parishioners. We will, therefore, not be replacing the vandalised billboard with an identical one.

"My second response is one of deep sadness at those in the Christian church who don't want to offend any faith position, even the most literalistic view of a male god. By having unity as their priority they inadvertently feed fanaticism."

A win for the crazies. A loss for those who don't believe Christian myths are above parody, or healthy debate.

First The Tsunami, Then The Sharks

Australia's first 3D feature movie has been announced. It's Bait, to be directed by Russell Mulcahy. The plot....

...will centre on a group of people trapped in a flooded underground supermarket with a pack of hungry tiger sharks after a tsunami.

Some examples of Russsel Mulcahy's previous ventures into fantasy and horror :





No matter how good Bait turns out to be, there will be at least one smart-arse critic who will snipe : "It needed a pig."

The first time I saw a special effects studio was when I visited Australia's then master special effects make-up artist Bob McCarron in the mid-1980s. The Razorback boar was right there in his garage, it was massive, and he gave me a demo of what it could do. It was a stunning, disturbingly lifelike creation. It could heave its huge head around, snap its jaws and blow snot, steam and drool. It had a wider range of facial expressions than Carlo Rimbaldi's ET puppet, then regarded as the most advanced creature effects in cinema. But you barely see what it can do in the Razorback movie. Damn shame.

In the days before CGI, you had to build these monsters. They cost a bomb, took months, or years to build and were rarely used the way the creature creators, like McCarron, Rick Baker and Rimbaldi, intended them to be seen, and worked.

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From the Wonder Of Whiffling (And Other Extraordinary Words In The English Language) by Adam Jacot de Boinod, a few Australian entries in Best New Words Of The Decade :

barbecue stopper : an issue of major public importance, which will excite the interest of voters

flairing : the action of bartenders balancing, catching, flipping, spinning or throwing (bottles, glasses, napkins, straws) with finesse and style

dog-whistle politics : to present your message so that only your supporters hear it properly

flashpackers : intrepid, but comfortably-off travellers

That's it? That's all Australians have contributed to neologia in the first decade of the 21st century?

Commenters here rip the full list to shreds, and come up with many, many better and more widely used 'New Words.'

As far as new words from around the world go, it's downright criminal 'Fucktard' didn't make the list.

'Meh', as used by Lisa Simpson (meaning bored, unimpressed), however, did make the list.

So it's not all bad.

There's Gold In That There Climate Change ClickBait

By Darryl Mason

Dodi "The Royal Family Killed My Son" Al-Fayed is yanking the AGW deniers chain, bigstyle, and cleaning up on copies sold of his newspaper and a massive surge in website hits :



I'd like to read 100 Reasons Why Global Warming Is Natural. I'd like to see a comprehensive, well-argued, well referenced list. But this sure ain't it. It's chockers with pure opinion and outright absurdities.

Some of the Reasons Why Global Warming Is Natural published in the Daily Express :

- Peter Lilley MP said last month that “fewer people in Britain than in any other country believe in the importance of global warming. That is despite the fact that our Government and our political class—predominantly—are more committed to it than their counterparts in any other country in the world”.

- Politicians and activists push for renewable energy sources such as wind turbines under the rhetoric of climate change, but it is essentially about money – under the system of Renewable Obligations. Much of the money is paid for by consumers in electricity bills. It amounts to £1 billion a year.

- The “Climate-gate” scandal revealed that a scientific team had campaigned for the removal of a learned journal’s editor, solely because he did not share their willingness to debase science for political purposes.

And something local :

Australia has stated it wants to slash greenhouse emissions by up to 25 percent below 2000 levels by 2020, but the pledges were so unpopular that the country’s Senate has voted against the carbon trading Bill, and the Opposition’s Party leader has now been ousted by a climate change sceptic.

So the removal of Malcolm Turnbull from the leadership of the Liberal Party proves Global Warming is natural?

There's a lot of this sort of stuff in the list. They might have been able to get away with 20 Reasons Why Global Warming Is Natural, but that wouldn't be quite so dramatic a front page.

It's tabloid clickbait. Comment bait.

As Andrew Bolt well knows. And which no doubt encouraged him to declare :

The Tide Has Turned

This in reference to the fact that a daily newspaper, in the UK, with a reasonably high circulation has 'dared' to publish such a front cover.

Many of Andrew Bolt's readers now want to know when the newspaper he writes for, The Herald Sun, or any Australian Murdoch newspaper for that matter, will publish a similar front page.

"Why is this article NOT on the front page of the Heraldsun, Shame on the Editor."

"Now we need one of our Australian papers to do the same, perhaps The Australian?"

"Now someone else has done the homework / broken the ice, will the Herald Sun run the equivalent front page ??"

"come on andrew put the pressure on the editors it’s obvious that the public want to read this "

When will the Herald Sun run a similar front page to the Daily Express claiming Global Warming Is Natural?

How about never?

I'd be this blog on it.

We all know where Rupert Murdoch, and his media empire, stands on the reality of global warming-induced climate change and the coming carbon tax and trade :




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Keeping Religion Out Of Politics Part 666

Annabel Crabb reminds readers of the words of Labor backbencher James Bidgood from late last year :

....he attributed the Global Financial Crisis to a wrathful God, furious about the greed and excess of the global financial markets.

"The ultimate conclusion is like I say - we look at Bible prophecy, we are going towards a one world bank and a one world monetary system. And if you believe the word of God and you read Revelations ... you will see clearly what is being spelled out. We (are) in the end times."

It's actually called Revelation. Not that accuracy matters at all in such talk.

At least these hallucinatory End-Timers don't hold positions of power in the ranks of the government or opposition....err, right?

Online Protests Begin To Rage Against RuddNet Censorship

By Darryl Mason

The Rudd government has released its report into internet filtering and (you may be shocked to read this) has reached the conclusion that it's a fine and practical idea.

Welcome to the RuddNet :

The Federal Government will introduce compulsory internet filtering to block overseas sites which contain criminal content, including child sex abuse and sexual violence.

And political content that will, or already is, categorised as "extremist".

Communications Minister Stephen Conroy announced the changes today following a controversial trial to filter the internet which was conducted earlier this year.

Senator Conroy says some internet content is simply not suitable in a civilised society.

"It is important that all Australians, particularly young children, are protected from this material," he said.

Legislation will be introduced into Parliament next year which will require all ISPs to block material which has been refused classification in other countries.

This would include sites containing child sex abuse, bestiality, sexual violence or detailed information about how to use drugs or commit crimes.

My head is churning with hundreds of titles of classic, brilliant, acclaimed movies that include scenes showing viewers how to use drugs and commit crimes.

And the obligatory declaration of non-censorship :

The Government maintains the filter is not designed to curtail freedom of speech.

It doesn't matter whether it was "designed" to curtain freedom of speech. The simple fact is it will do exactly that.

The ABC News website was one of the first news sites to run the story with comments open, with hundreds pouring in within the first hour the story going up. The reaction is 99% negative, and the outrage at such a draconian move towards mandatory internet censorship is spreading fast.

The Liberals and The Greens could seriously rock the popularity of the Rudd government by opposing internet filtering and fighting hard against this kind of censorship. We know The Greens will, but what about The Libs?

Or do the Coalition Catholics and religious donors demand Liberals back RuddNet?

This comment from Grover at ABC News is a good summary of the vast majority of furious opinions piling up in comments :

Limiting freedoms of citizens is outrageous.

In what world does Conroy think it is appropriate to decide what data we may and may not access?

He is bringing us level with China and it's censorship.

I am genuinely disgusted that they would actually degrade this county's broadband services, instead of improving them, which is what we (including myself) voted the Labor government into power to do. Under no circumstances will I vote for a party responsible for attacks on our freedoms, in the next election.

Any true criminal will go around any black list, it is extremely easy (I have a degree in Computer Science, but no education is required).

Any privacy concious individual will use encryption services, which can _not_ be decrypted by anyone inspecting their data packets.

In short, this will make little or no difference to criminals, but will limit the choices and freedoms of all average citizens of this country, and it open us all up to possible abuse by governments in the future.

Do not for one second attempt to imply that people opposed to this plan are paedophiles or terrorists.

Stephen Conroy has already deployed the 'Responsible Australians Vs Pedos & Terrorists' argument to sugar coat this digital censorship program. They better come up with something stronger than that to argue their case for internet filtering. They've already got hundreds of thousands of teenage to middle aged gamers offside with their censorship and banning of animated vidgames.

If you follow @KevinRuddPM on Twitter, an easy fast way to register your opposition to RuddNet censorship is to block his messages and remove yourself from his Following list.

@KevinRuddPM has almost 900,000 followers on Twitter, amongst the highest of any politician in the world. Let's cut that following in half by Friday. For starters.

More soon...

Pollytics : Kevin Rudd Wants To Filter Your Internets

Asher Moses : Internet Censorship Plan Approved In Australia

Media Hunter : Can The Blogstream Topple A Government? Let's Find Out

LP : Net Censorship Zombies Rise Again


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George Carlin. Challenging, and utterly brilliant :

Conga Line Of Hilarity

By Darryl Mason

Mike Carlton takes his well-sharpened scythe to the new Opposition front bench :

That egregious drongo Kevin Andrews is the Coalition's new shadow minister for families, housing and human services, ha ha.

The rebarbative Senator Eric Abetz gets workplace relations, haw haw. Bronwyn Bishop, aka Attila the Hen, will be "working with seniors", tee hee.

Philip Ruddock, the whited sepulchre, returns from the dead; a backwoods Queensland bean counter, Barnaby Joyce, is given the finance portfolio and, most hilarious of all, Senator Nick Minchin will handle energy and resources. Chortle, guffaw.

Never let it be said that Tony Abbott is without a sense of humour.

Oh, he's a comedic genius. The grimly determined straight man to Barnaby 'Fuck China' Joyce.

Meanwhile, Malcolm Turnbull sits back, enjoying the show as much as the rest of us, probably more, and bides his time. Let the reanimated Howard-era remnants take the floor for a while, let them spout their 20th century ideas and ideals to a nation that has mostly well and truly moved on. Let them frighten away the few still willing to dump some cash into the Liberal Party coffers. Let them lose the next federal election and lose their seats in the process. Then the rebuilding of the Liberal Party can begin.

If Turnbull can still be bothered by then, that is.

But the question for now is, how will Tony Abbott deal with what are expected to be the very regular mopping up sessions before the media after Barnaby Joyce relieves himself with a grin? How many times will Abbott jam his hand into a plastic bag to quickly disappear yet another moist, warm Joyce deposit on Econogeddon before he just fucking snaps?

And what does Abbott think about the stories drifting down from North Queensland on how Barnaby has been boasting to some locals that the Liberals need him far more than he needs them? That soon enough the polls will reveal he is a more popular choice for opposition leader than Abbott? And that he could one day, if he really wanted to, even have a fair crack at becoming prime minister?

After getting rid of Tony Abbott, that is.

A fresh slogan for the opposition they can have for free :

The Coalition 2010 : Please Stop Laughing.

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Hungry For More

Just one example why Hungry Beast is the best new Australian current affairs show in many, many years :



And this interview with an Australian soldier who served in Afghanistan is stunning :



Plenty more Hungry Beast clips on their official site here, and on YouTube here.

There was a bit of nervousness, as you'd expect, amongst Hungry Beast producers and ABC executives as to how a show could leap almost instantly from absurd satire to devastating journalism. But it worked. It worked brilliantly.

Hungry Beast returns in 2010.

"you fill my empty days...."

Forget The Petitions, We Need Pitchforks And Torches

By Darryl Mason


(graphic from smh.com.au front page)

What has happened in the NSW government is a fucking insult to democracy. Not only do we not get to vote for the leaders of our major political parties, we don't even get a say in who becomes premier is anymore.

A campaign for early elections by the Sydney Morning Herald is an interesting start to returning a semblance of democracy to the people of New South Wales, but what exactly is a newspaper doing publicly campaigning for the dismissal of a government?

From the Sydney Morning Herald :

It is about a system of government that locks the people of NSW into a four-year fixed electoral cycle, that reduces the voters to bystanders in an endless rotation of ministers and premiers - with no way of bringing on an election.

The people of NSW, who elected Morris Iemma in 2007, have seen that choice overturned, and overturned again, until they now have a government they scarcely recognise. And that government is overseeing a decline in the quality of services to the public.

Hospitals are understaffed and over budget. They cannot pay their bills. Waiting lists for elective surgery are growing. Public transport is in disarray and its future is in doubt for want of adequate planning. Roads, railways, buses and ferries are dilapidated. So are our schools. Police resources are stretched. Looming over all the problems, explaining them and perpetuating them, is a budget shortfall that results from the Government's inherent inability to manage its affairs or anything else.

The Sydney Morning Herald is clickbaiting readers to sign a petition, but it's unlikely to achieve much, besides hits to their website. The NSW government needs to hear the call for early elections loud and clear, in person, at the gates of parliament.

Blockading the front and back of state parliament for about a week should give the new unelected 'premier' the message loud and clear that no-one in NSW is prepared to wait until 2011 to have a real, viable say on the future of this disturbingly corrupt, inept, backstabbing, ridiculously chaotic government.

update : The Daily Telegraph is in on the petition clickbait now as well.

Dave Gaukroger at Pure Poison :

All that these two newspapers have achieved with their campaigns is that they have lost any claim to be disinterested reporters and commentators. The NSW print media has shown that it is willing to actively campaign against a sitting government, making a mockery of their role as the fourth estate. This is not a sign of a healthy and informed democracy.

Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell Explains Why Petitioning For Early Elections Might Ultimately Be More Effective Than Pitchforks And Torches :

....as in September last year, when Nathan Rees was installed by the same factional bosses behind Kristina Keneally's rise, the choice of premier wasn't by the hands of NSW voters but by, in Rees's words, "the malignant, treacherous and disloyal forces" of the NSW branch of the Australian Labor Party.

Four premiers, five health ministers and six police ministers since 2005 are signs of both a dysfunctional government and a lack of respect for the public, which is meant to be the basis of our democracy.

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