Monday, January 04, 2010

It's Time To Begin The Debate On A Big New Tax On Knee-High Socks

You'd think living somewhere nice and green with an open sky, fresh air, breeding beautiful alpacas might put you in a positive, optimistic mood about the future.

Not so, as alpaca breeder Gerard Oosterman reveals while detailing "My Dreams For 2010" :
A kind of BUG A UP campaign to install loathing towards those that continue, despite many warnings, to drive obscenely large fuel gulping hydrocarbon, nitrogen oxides, CO belching four wheel drive vehicles including SUVs, especially when those vehicles are black.

Spray cans will be distributed for the more sensible 1200cc electric/gas/diesel combo car owners to spray those ratbags car owners that defy all warnings. Those with spray on their fat cars will thus be stigmatised and shamed, and, furthermore, they will only be allowed to drive in slow lanes and by push power only.

To help combat obesity, closure of all food-courts at shopping malls, with the exception of coffee lounges with Portuguese cakes, Sushi bars and fruit juice bars. All tuck shop mothers to be trained in giving dietary guidance to school kids.

All McDonalds to be phased out, replaced by Finnish, Estonian or Balkan black bread with cottage cheese outlets. Those 'car stop' eating venues will be indicated by modest signage portraying a thin but healthy couple with smiling kids munching on black bread with rising sun and sheafs of golden brown Rye in the background. Meat pies still OK, but one per family; no sauce.

Of course, all this to be funded by steep increases in tax on all alcohol, cigarettes, petrol, knee-high socks and drivers of hum vees and enormous four wheelers.
You've got to have a troubled mind to want to deny working families a bit of sauce for their pies.

ABC's The Drum Unleashed also has "My Dreams For 2010" from Tony Abbott, Sophie Cunningham, Keysar Trad, Robert Manne, Julian Morrow, Jonathan Green and others here.