There's nothing funny about terrorism. But the Sydney trial surrounding a book allegedly promoting jihadi violence and advocating acts of terror is starting to yield a few unexpected laughs :
Are they talking about a jihad manual or a Tom Clancy novel? Another method listed is wrapping the target in "a strong plastic bag", which the book says hardly leaves a trace on the body and could leave the impression that it was suicide.
...Mr Khazaal's barrister, George Thomas, said except for a few paragraphs written by his client, the book was compiled from material authored by others which was freely available in the public domain.
Twelve methods of assassination are listed, including detonating a car from a distance, sniping, booby trapping a room, storming houses, poison, shooting down planes and striking motorcades.
The smothering section includes drowning and the cake throwing technique.This is terrifying stuff. Clearly we need to ban the home stockpiling of flour, eggs, milk and vanilla essence. For God's sake, anyone could make this deadly weapon in the privacy of their own kitchen.
"A couple could pretend to be joking before attacking the target," the translation reads.
"This would lead to his eyes, nose and mouth being plugged and loses the ability to breathe.
"Few would suspect the fatal consequences."
Then again, there's probably more than a few suicidal, hopeless cream-and-pastry junkies who would welcome such an attack. Hell, it beats being blown apart by an IED.
Sarah Lee and The Cheesecake Factory better watch out, now they've been linked in a 'jihad manual' as possible creators and distributors of potential weapons of mass, gooey, delicious assassination.
I went shopping yesterday morning and saw entire shelves of deadly smother-cake ingredients available for sale. You don't even have to show ID to buy them! In the freezer section, they had dozens of smother-cakes ready to go. All a jihadist has to do is thaw them out!
Another assassination method is "hitting with a hammer", noting "this type of weapon is excellent in close combat where fire arms are not desirable".It all sounds very dangerous. Nobody has ever discussed how a hammer can be used to kill someone before. Except for The Beatles, and that whole Maxwell's Silver Hammer song.
Is it too soon to use the word 'farcical' to describe this trial?