Cinema used to be such stupid fun.

Smokey October sunsets over Sydney

















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It's Still Shit, But We Like It Now

In April, 2009, Chris Mitchell, the editor of The Australian, compared 140 character messages on Twitter to acclaimed BBC TV dramas and Oscar winning movies and found that Twitter messages are lacking, in depth and detail and profoundosity.

Mitchell predicted the fast demise of the global message distributor, under the headline Time Is Up For Twitter.

Like swine influenza, technologies such as Twitter race around the world before spluttering out.

...the story it tells about the latest online fad is always the same. Like diseases that must mutate to infect ever more hosts, transitory technologies have an enormous impact until people build up resistance...

Twitter's 140-character message format is a content-killer, leaving most tweets with the compelling content of those "I'm on the bus" mobile phone conversations impossible to avoid on public transport.

Stupid, useless Twitter.

But wait!

Octoher, 2009 : More than 50 million people visit Twitter each month. One if five internet users are doing something Twitter-related on a regular basis.

And so, today :



Just in case..

Alf's 94 year old hand





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Why Are Murdoch Journalists Who Claim "Global Warming Is A Lefty Scam" So Afraid To Confront Or Challenge The 'Climate Change Propaganda' Of Their Own Boss?

By Darryl Mason

A collection of quotes from Rupert Murdoch on Climate Change and Corporate Green brainwashing via his massive world media empire :

"Climate change poses clear, catastrophic threats. We may not agree on the extent, but we certainly can't afford the risk of inaction.

"We're starting with our own carbon footprint. Not nothing. But much of what we're doing is already, or soon will be, little more than the standard way of doing business. We can do something that's unique, different from just any other company. We can set an example, and we can reach our audiences. Our audience's carbon footprint is 10,000 times bigger than ours. That's the carbon footprint we want to conquer."

"Becoming carbon neutral is only the beginning. The climate problem will not be solved by one company reducing its emissions to zero, and it won't be solved by one government acting alone. The climate problem will not be solved without mass participation by the general public in countries around the globe."

"Imagine if we succeed in inspiring our audiences to reduce their own impacts on climate change by just one percent. That would be like turning the State of California off for almost two months."

"News Corporation, today, reaches people at home and at work... when they're thinking... when they're laughing... and when they are making choices that have enormous impact. The unique potential.. and duty.. of a media company are to help its audiences connect to the issues that define our time."

"We need to push ourselves to make as many reductions as possible in our own energy use first.. and that takes time. But we must do this quickly.. the climate will not wait for us."

"While we reduce our own carbon footprint we will encourage the companies who truck our DVDs and newspapers, sell us paper, and provide an enormous range of products and services.. to all contribute."

"Some of our businesses use more energy than others, but our strategy everywhere is the same.. first, reduce our use of energy as much as possible. Then, switch to renewable sources of power where it makes economic sense. And, over time, as a last resort, offset the emissions we can't avoid."

"We could make a difference just by holding our emissions steady as our businesses continue to grow. But that doesn't seem to be enough: we want to go all the way to zero. Today, I am announcing our intention to be carbon neutral, across all our businesses, by 2010."

"We're not a manufacturer, or an airline, but we do use energy. Printing and publishing newspapers, producing films, broadcasting television signals, operating 24-hour newsrooms. It all adds carbon to the atmosphere."

"Climate change and energy use are global problems. News Corp is a global company. Our operations affect the environment all over the world."

"I have to admit that, until recently, I was somewhat wary of the (global) warming debate. I believe it is now our responsibility to take the lead on this issue."

Murdoch journalists like Tim Blair, Andrew Bolt and Piers Akerman, all well know that their own boss is the world's most influential distributor of what they call "global warming fearmongery", but they'd prefer their readers to get all shouty and hepped up about Tim Flannery and Al Gore and the ABC instead.

Why? Because they know if they did go after Rupert Murdoch's "climate change catastrophe" fearmongery, with the same venom and repetition that they go after scientists and academics and celebrity activists, they'd get fired.

Their silence, and credibility, has been brought. Willingly. Without a fight.

If Blair, Bolt and Akerman truly believe that climate change and carbon neutrality is now being used to introduce 'World Government' then why are they still taking money from Rupert Murdoch?


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With This Ring, I Thee Dead

Author Tara Moss, as the zombie bride, is ready for Halloween :



I had to extract some of my brain matter with a skewer in payment for that photo. I may be fuzzy for a few weeks.

In other Halloween related news, American Christian extremist Pat Robertson's website is warning Americans not to celebrate/have fun on Halloween. Why? Demon candy :

"Most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches. I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

Stupid demons.

"Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats. It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon."

Fantastic!

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Powderfinger's new album, Golden Rule, is out November 13. Hope they give it a rest on all the ballads this time out. The 'return to hard rock' album is now a few albums overdue.

First single, All Of The Dreamers :





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Blair's Law RIP : 2002-2009

In 2002, pro-Bush, and enthusiastic pro-Bush Wars, blogger Tim Blair founded the term 'Blair's Law'. It caused brief excitement in the American pro-Bush blogstream, and was defined in the Urban Dictionary as :

"...the ongoing process by which the world's multiple idiocies are becoming one giant, useless force."

But in June 2009, the Urban Dictionary listed a new definition, and notes, for Blair's Law :

From The Urban Dictionary :

Blair's Law : As a blog war intensifies, the probability of lawyers being called in to protect the glass jaw of the more cowardly party approaches 1.

– Inspired by the precedent set by the aborted 2009 defamation case of (Australian journalist/blogger) Tim Blair vs Teh Left.

TB: “My girlfriend’s been fighting all my battles for me under a pseudonym, but we got caught out and now my tough-guy reputation is in tatters. How am I going to weasel my way out of this one?”

JB: “Only Blair's law can save you now, my chinless friend.”

However, if you Google 'Blair's Law' and click the Urban Dictionary link, you will find all definitions and even the listing itself has been deleted.

Disappeared.

Instead, you are taken to the Urban Dictionary listing for former British prime minister, Tony Blair.

Online fame can be so fleeting.

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ABC Gets More Complaints About The Chaser Than Its Alleged Bias

The Chaser's @chaslicc (Chas Licciardello) notes that The Chaser's final series of The War On Everything garnered the most complaints from viewers of any show aired on the ABC in 2009, so far.

As a testament to the extraordinary power of The Chaser to generate MoralOutrage! controversy, according to the below story from The Age, the show also pulled the most complaints in 2008, even though The War On Everything was taking a year off.



Ari Sharp, The Age :

The guerilla comedy program attracted a total of 4995 complaints....4286 of which were in relation to the Make a Realistic Wish Foundation sketch that featured children with terminal illnesses.

That featured actors portraying children with terminal illnesses.

ABC copped 32.130 complaints in the year, but only around 10 per cent of those complaints were for "bias." There are no breakdowns to reveal how many of those "bias" complaints came from Gerard Henderson, or readers of Andrew "World Government!" Bolt. You'd assume many.

And Ari Sharp reminds readers of a crucial fact to keep in mind the next time you hear endless bitching about "that's my bloody 10 cents a day they're spending so John Safran can snog a hot Swede!"

Newspoll found that 89 per cent of people value the broadcaster and its services to the community, up 1 percentage point, while those who believe quality programming offered by ABC television was steady at 82 per cent...

Remind commenters at certain other blogs of those stats the next time you see them whining about how the ABC "doesn't give Australians what they want!" or some other fringe minority grievance.


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Doogle

Google Australia is running a competition for school children to doodle up their logo. The national winner gets their artwork displayed on the Google homepage for 24 hours (it will be seen by millions) and wins $10,000 of tech gear for their school.

Here's an early entry, from Madeline Hunter, age 7 :


Madeline writes of her excellent doogle :

"I hope Australia will be sunny all the time and everyone will be happy."

More Doodle Google Entries Here

Therese Rein Challenges Corporate Australia To Sponsor Disabled Athletes

By Darryl Mason

Therese Rein, through her employment agency, helped thousands of disabled and work-injured Australians find jobs and build careers. Her new challenge :




I hope it works. My eldest sister has long dreamed of attending the Special Olympics one day, and she and her friends might get there, if the corporate sponsorship of disabled athletes picks up. It costs a lot of money to attend, because carers, travel and special equipment have to be paid for, mostly out of the pockets of parents or friends.

Therese Rein :

What Paralympians do is they don't focus on what doesn't work, they focus on making what does work, work to the max. And that's what my dad did. And I think I've learnt a little bit about how to do that from him.

An interview of Therese Rein by The 7.30 Report's Kerry O'Brien can be read, or viewed, here.

UPDATE : Here's the interview :



A reaction to Therese Rein's campaign for corporate sponsorship of disabled athletes from the Herald Sun's associate editor, Andrew Bolt (a regular guest of ABCs Insiders, Channel Nine's The Today Show and Channel Ten's The 7PM Project) :



Oh, how droll.

This is all this repulsive creature has got left now - encouraging his readers to go the wife of the prime minister because she devoted a substantial part of her life to helping disabled people, in honour of her paraplegic father, and wants to continue doing this important work.

You can contact the 7PM Report here

And Channel Nine's Today Show here

And ABC's Insiders' here

Feel free to let them know what you think of their decisions to include Andrew Bolt as a regular guest on their programs.

Or you can visit his blog, look at the advertisers and contact them, and suggest they sponsor disabled athletes instead of the empathy challenged, like him.

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Cry Me A Glacier

An impressive photo below, published here. One of the many photos, and you've probably snapped some yourself, that seem to capture the apparent features of the human face in a tree trunk, in the markings on a vegetable, in the patterns of butterfly wings. We see what want to see, recognise what is familiar. Which is why this photograph by Michael Nolan is so jolting :



Here's what environmental lecturer Michael Nolan sees in his photo :

"This is how one would imagine mother nature would express her sentiments about our inability to reduce global warming. It seemed an obvious place for her to appear, on the front of a retreating ice shelf, crying,"

Oh, for the love of dropkicked koalas, get a grip man. You've been out on the ice too long.

The American ABC News website filed this photo, and Nolan's embarrassing ravings, under 'Religious Sightings', next to a pic of the legendary 'Jesus In A Grilled Cheese Sandwich' coincidence. I mean, miracle.

They Can Work Triple Shifts, Just Don't Let Them In Neurosurgery

Gary Kemble continues posting fantastic photos and videos from last weekend's Brisbane ZombieWalk over at The Pool.

Here's zombie nurses discussing the state of our hospitals :

"We Need More Brainnnnnssss"

Incredible. Gary Kemble reports the Brisbane ZombieWalk drew more than 5000 people, unofficially breaking the world record for the biggest gathering of zombies.


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First Dog On The Moon, over at Crikey, has made some truly gruesome Halloween masks.

Here's the femoral-gnashing Julia Bishop and Christopher 'Poodle' Pyne :



The horrorrrrr.

I triple dare Julia Gillard to slip on the Demon Poodle mask during QT.

If only....

More at Crikey

It Must Be True What They're Saying About World Government, I Read It In The Australian

By Darryl Mason

Janet Albretchsen ramps up the booga-booga, and supplies a list of talking points and questions for the Opposition to bombard the Rudd government with in Question Time, which they will surely do, as soon as today :



According to this ABC board member, the Copenhagaen Climate Change Treaty is a secret World Government plot.

How long I've waited for the day that Parliament House erupts with questions and yelling about "World Government!" Nexus Magazine circa-1987 was right, after all. At least on Planet Janet.

Hopefully, Tony Abbott will be allowed to ask KevinRuddPM when Australians will be implanted with New World Order/World Government! RFID chips (secreted inside mandatory depopulating swine flu vaccinations of course), to keep them under control as the wealth of the few is handed over to placate the poverty of the many.

Then again, Janet and her fellow pro-war nutters in the Murdoch media also believed that bombing the absolute fuck out of Iraq and Afghanistan would bring peace to the Middle East.

Janet Albretchsen's source for her UN/NWO/World Government! claims come through Lord Christopher Monckton, Third Viscount of Benchley, who likes to refer to climate scientists as "bedwetters" and the American president as "Osamabamarama".

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There's No Right

There's No Wrong

There's Only Popular Opinion

- Jeffrey Goines

So Far They Haven't Worked Out How To Jump Over The Nets

The shark in the movie Jaws was about 8 metres long.

The shark believed to have taken a bite out of this shark off the Queensland coast....



....has been estimated to be at least at least 5 metres long.

A detail of those massive bite wounds :



Staircases are more of a threat to the average Australian's mortality than sharks.

Even fucking huge ones.

I Read Twitter, So You Don't Have To

Paul McCartney joins Twitter, and is immediately beset by questions. Some very funny, very entertaining questions. Highlights from the #AskPaul thread, before it got nasty :

Does marijuana grow in Scotland, or is there not enough light?

Are you really the Walrus or was John full of shit?

Do you know any cheats for The Beatles Rock Band?

If you put a chameleon in a house of mirrors, what colour would it turn?

Do you still keep in touch with Mark Chapman?

At your age, do you still do it in the road?

If Stephen Hawkings and the Mona Lisa were in a burning caravan which would you save?

Do you ever listen to "Pipes Of Peace" while pushing a red-hot tuning fork up your arse? I know I do.

You think you're better than me, don't you?

Have you ever killed a drifter with your bare hands just to see him die?

Which record am I supposed to play backwards for the Satanic messages?

Ebony or Ivory?

Who exactly were the band on the run from?

Why did you give up music after the Beatles split?

Who did you like better, The Beatles or The Stones?

When brushing your teeth in the mirror, do you ever shake your hair excitedly and squeal "Ooooooo!"?

If all The Beatles were alive today, which one do you think would die first?

Do you ever get sick of people saying "I told you so" re Heather Mills?

If we all lived in yellow submarine, who would be the unlucky one cleaning the communal toilet?

Can I do a poo at your house?

Is it fair to say you were the Billy Corgan of Wings?

Which do you think is better, "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" or that one you did?

How much did you pay Axl Rose to let you cover Live And Let Die?

Not sure I want to buy a ticket for your gig. Can you come round my house and give me a preview?

Such treatment of the man who wrote Helter Skelter (and Frog Chorus) is the Twitter punishment for opening an account for no reason other than to flog your concerts and Europe Travel/Gig packages.

You can #AskPaul McCartney a question yourself here.

To kill a few minutes out of the two year wait before Mad Max : Fury Road hits cinemas, and gaming platforms, here's an excellent short on the preparation and execution of some spectacular stuntwork from Max Mad 2 :



UPDATE : And here's director George Miller from a few days ago, at the media launch for the start of pre-production of Fury Road :



Other names not considered for the fourth film in the franchise :

Mad Max : Rage Street

Mad Max : Anger Drive

Mad Max : Ferocity Lane.

Mad Max : Vehemently Perturbed & Disgruntled Alley

Lusting For Brains, For Charity

This is exactly the sort of headline I've been waiting for years to see on ABC News. My motorcycle covered with 30 spinning, slashing machetes is ready to go to work :





But, dammit, when you actually read through Gary Kemble's story, you discover it's the Fourth Annual Zombie Walk, where thousands dressed up as the undead, and doused themselves in fake blood and chocolate sauce, as a charity drive for the Brain Foundation.

The Brisbane ZombieWalk organisers should get a prize for coming up with a very popular zombie-related event that actually raises money for brain disease research. Bravo.

And this image by Guilio Saggin, from ABC News, must be a contender for a 2009 News Photo Of The Year :




Gary Kemble has a whole load more photos and videos here, including zombie dogs and arm munching.


@cosmicjester also covered the Brisbane ZombieWalk :



More ZombieWalk photos from CosmicJester here

Previously On The Orstrahyun : Interview With A Zombie