I'm Only Swearing At You Because My Dealer Went On Holiday

By Darryl Mason

Here's a surprise for just about nobody, swearing can make you feel better, particularly if you're in pain :

Swearing can lessen the feeling of physical pain, scientists have discovered.

Volunteers withstood pain for longer when they swore than when they used anodyne words, in a study at Keele University in the English Midlands.

Richard Stephens, who led the study, believes it may explain why most languages contain swear words.

He said: "The volunteers who swore had an elevated heart rate, so it could be increasing their aggression levels.

"Increased aggression has been shown to reduce sensitivity to pain, so it could be that swearing helps this process."

The idea that we developed swear words, hundreds or thousands of generations ago, to cope with the effects of pain is fascinating. Perhaps our very first words spluttered from our lips because hooting and roaring and grunting simply did not encapsulate our true feelings about how it felt to be kicked square in the cags by a mammoth. Then again, perhaps those very first swear words came from women during childbirth, a far more common occurence of extreme pain than getting stomped by hairy tusked elephants.

This commenter at RWDB Beck uses the above story to finally crack open the explanation for why Evil Pagan Lefties are, apparently, so full of bitter, swears-laden vitriol and abuse for the delicate pro-war, pro-occupation nice polite people that used to control Australia back in the days when newsreaders could say "John Howard" and "visionary" in the same sentence, without laughing :

An answer to why we see the abuse we conservatives get from lefties.

It would seem that they are using us to get a narcotic effect from their own bodies.

That's right. Lefties let fly against conservatives only because it gets them high.

Hey, it's cheaper than scoring on the streets. And it's legal.

For now.