Juli-aaaaaahhhhh

By Darryl Mason

Liberal Party activists Alan Jones and Andrew Bolt get started on their campaign to seed division in the federal Labor Party vote, by pushing deputy prime minister Julia Gillard as the person who should leading Labor into the next election.

After all, Kevin Rudd is a one term prime minister, or so goes the new chant, even though polls show nothing like the anger and outrage against Rudd that professional Liberal Party activist-columnists, including Miranda Devine, claim is running wild across the land.

You know what's coming next, don't you? A full-blown campaign from the Friends Of The Liberal Party in the opinion pages of, mostly, the Murdoch media claiming that Gillard "has almost got the numbers" and "is set to challenge for the leadership of the Labor Party."

It's early March now, the election is likely to arrive before late November, so they'll need at least four months to really get those Gillard Vs Rudd rumours flaming up, after they light the first fires of course.

So expect rumours along the lines of "Senior Labor Party officials believe Rudd is dooming the government to one term" and "Gillard knows she can win where Rudd cannot" to start flooding the gruesomely predictable opinion pages of the Herald Sun, the Daily Telegraph and The Australian in a month or so. Paul Sheehan from the Sydney Morning Herald can be relied on to join in the chanting, too.

Murdoch-funded Liberal Party activists like Andrew Bolt want to get started now, he's champing at the bit, but he knows it's still a bit too soon.

First, Glenn Milne has to fill a Sunday Telegraph page with "leaks" from "senior government figures", and then it's on.

Not the federal Labor government leadership challenge, just the column filler that will breed more columns and heated talkback debate. Anything, anything, to avoid devoting all but the most hostile attention to The Greens, who are shaping up to gain control of the Senate.

The 20th century newspapers have to at least try and give the impression that they can still influence the outcome of elections, even if they no longer really believe it themselves.

And it surely must be only a matter of weeks now before some Liberal Party politician embarrasses himself by claiming Kevin Rudd is an "Epic Fail."

Or maybe they're saving that for some of their 'hip' new campaign ads?

March 10 update : And so it begins, earlier than I predicted :

"Jones and I aren't alone among conservatives for falling for a politician whose choice of books now suggests she's readying to take over from the increasingly friendless Kevin Rudd."

"Watch your back Kevin."

"So while we love challenger Gillard now...."

She's already challenging Kevin Rudd for leadership of the Labor Party? Scoop!

And this note of warning :

"I fear this love for La Gillard may well end in tears, like Act 5 of Romeo and Juliet itself."

Julia Gillard will appear one day to be dead, and Australian conservative journalists will commit suicide and then Gillard will wake up from her sleep to find them all dead and then kill herself out of intolerable grief and loss?

And, man, and I thought I had some weird fantasies :

Has (Julia Gillard) bent global warmist Tim Flannery over the dispatch box in the middle of Question Time and administered a richly deserved spanking with a dead penguin....?

Weirdo.

The Sydney Morning Herald headline promises to reveal "The Dark Side" of a missing Australian nuclear scientist.

So what have they got?

His personal website reveals a man with bower-bird interests. These ranged from an obsession with suicide rates in the United States, Japan, Britain and Australia, the writings of Japanese Kamikaze pilots, Quebec's suicide ''hot spot'', ''suicide clubs'', The Complete Manual on Suicide to holocaust scenarios of nuclear attack, chemical poisoning, terrorist attacks and extensive works on the morality of war.

That's a bit thin to label someone having a Dark Side, isn't it? Bit weird, perhaps, but what if most of it is related to his research?

The story of the missing nuclear scientist is strange indeed.

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Weaponised Fruit

As you may have already heard, British prime minister Gordon Brown has a temper of Ruddian proportions. But new reports keep hitting the British media about just how fiery and abusive Brown's temper can be. Even innocent fruit does not escape the Brown wraith.

An excerpt from an article in The Sun :

A factory worker claims that during an official visit to his plant the PM hurled a tangerine into a laminating machine after flying into a rage while on a phone call. He said: "The fruit got stuck in the machine and clogged it.

"It was very embarrassing, we had to stop the tour and he got even more angry. He called the person that gave him the tangerine an idiot."

Actually, Gordon Brown called him a "citric idiot."

You think The Sun just makes up stories like this?

No. A real newspaper with real journalists sources and fact-checks claims that the prime minister is a fruit thrower.

And the tale of the furiously hurled tangerine came from a clearly reputable source :



The UK Telegraph also reported this 'incident' as fact....



....and the tangerine tale even became part of a Hong Kong news agency's animated round-up of Brown abuse atrocities :

Robert Popper is responsible for 'TangerineGate'


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@Tara_Moss asks is this the 'Headline Typo Of The Year?' It may be Typo Of The Decade :



However, the story is good news. The Royal Institute For Deaf and Blind Children celebrated its 150th anniversary today. Author Tara Moss joined Therese Rein at the celebrations, which included the unveiling of a video conferencing room at the new library. Video conferencing that will eventually allow hearing impaired kids to talk to the world, and hear all those voices talking back.

Sometimes I want to give the miracle of digital technology a big hug.

The Institute's website is here, where you can also donate.



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Fox News = Quality Geography

THR notices Fox News is still struggling with its geographic disability :



It's not the first time Fox News has made such a mistake.

(Via @sreejd and @chaslicc)

Poodle-Kitty spotted in Erskineville :

Northern Territory : Fish Fall From The Sky Twice in 2 Days

Local : "Thank God It Didn't Rain Crocodiles!"


grab from photo by Christine Balmer.

Last Thursday and Friday afternoon, residents of a Northern Territory town saw hundreds of fish fall from the sky. Locals claim the fish were still alive when they hit the ground.

On both days, the rain of fish began around 6pm.

'Newsbreaker' Christine Balmer told the Northern Territory News :

"Locals were picking them up off the footy oval and on the ground everywhere.

"I haven't lost my marbles. Thank god it didn't rain crocodiles."

I would go see that movie. As long as the rain of crocodiles fell over a city.

Lajamanu is the town where the fish fell from the sky. It sits on the edge of a desert, hundreds of kilometres from lakes, or the coast.

Even more bizarrely, rains of fish fell on Lajamanu in 2004, and in 1974.

A weather forecaster told The Northern Territory News that a tornado could have been responsible, but there were none in the area on the days the rain of fish occurred.

Go Here For More

This story is now being picked up by the Drudge Report, Reddit, Digg, thousands of bloggers and the news wires. The Northern Territory News has found its clickbait tale of the year.

And it's a good, more accurate choice by the NTN to use the term 'Newsbreaker' for what other media call a 'Citizen Journalist'.

In other Northern Territory News news, a monkey disguised as a normal everyday cat is running across roads. Points for the headline, though : 'Chimp My Ride.'

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Give Generously To PeteAid

This says more about the shitty, petty state of Australian politics and some ranks of the political media than it does about Peter Garrett :

Mr Garrett has always struggled with the impossible task of melding mainstream political reality with the strong conservation and human rights views he espoused as lead singer of the Oils.

Glenn Milne is now doing fashion reviews :

A barefoot and dejected Peter Garrett yesterday insisted he would stay on in politics, despite being demoted for his role in the $2.5 billion home insulation fiasco.

The Environment Protection Minister was photographed outside his Randwick home in Sydney, looking miserable and dressed down in tracksuit pants and a grey T-shirt.

Unlike Mr Milne, who presumably, Frank Drebin-like, changes into a more comfortable business suit on a Saturday morning before taking the dog outside to drop a load.

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Pacific Tsunami Hitting New Zealand, Fiji, Tonga, Samoa, New Guinea, Australia




By Darryl Mason

UPDATES OF TSUNAMI REACHING ACROSS ENTIRE PACIFIC BASIN BELOW

(10pm) A massive magnitude 8.8 earthquake has struck off the coast of Central Chile. It's the 7th highest magnitude earthquake ever recorded. A tsunami alert has been issued for Queensland by the Bureau of Meteorology.

Threatened areas extend from Point Danger to Double Island Point :

Possibility of dangerous waves, strong ocean currents and foreshore flooding
for several hours from 08:15 am [EST] Sunday.

Sea level observations HAVE confirmed a tsunami has been generated.

Tsunami waves are more powerful than the same size beach waves, with the first
wave not always the largest. First tsunami effects are expected as follows:

Coolangatta after 08:15 am [EST] Sunday
Maroochydore after 09:00 am [EST] Sunday
Brisbane after 09:15 am [EST] Sunday
And the most important piece of advice : 
And probably the most important piece of advice : 
Do not go to the coast to watch the tsunami. Check that your
neighbours have received this advice.

History's largest recorded earthquake, magnitude 9.5, struck Chile in 1960. More than 6000 people died.

The death toll, so far, from today's earthquake off Chile is below 100. That toll is expected to climb, significantly.

UPDATE : Photos, phone videos, news links, eyewitness accounts of the Chile earthquake, and a fast rising panic about the Pacific tsunami are pouring onto Twitter at the rate of a few thousand a minute (at 10.40pm, Sydney time).

Click #Chile and Tsunami to see the Twitter news streams.

The Pacific Tsunami is expected to hit the coasts of the North and South New Zealand islands in about six hours.

UPDATE : Tsunami alerts are scrolling on some Australian TV channels, some appearing during an airing of The Day After Tomorrow, which must be jarring to those who aren't already aware of what's happening.

Tsunami alerts issued for Japan, Alaska, Russia, the east coast of the United States, Indonesia, the Solomon Islands, Fiji, New Guinea....

(10.40) I'll drop the 'update' thing and just keep posting the bits and pieces of news rolling in :

* The entire Pacific Ocean base is now under a tsunami alert.

* The highest tsunami wave (at sea) recorded so far (10:52pm) is 2.2 metres. They tend to get bigger when they reach shallower waters, and coastlines. The waves are expected to roll in for a few hours, but time between each wave can vary from 5 minutes to 60 minutes.

* New Zealand tsunami warnings are dramatic :

"SEA LEVEL READINGS CONFIRM THAT A TSUNAMI HAS BEEN GENERATED WHICH COULD CAUSE WIDESPREAD DAMAGE. AUTHORITIES SHOULD TAKE APPROPRIATE ACTION IN RESPONSE TO THIS THREAT."

* (11.04pm Syd) Evacuations under way on Easter Island, tsunami to hit within an hour.

* Tsunami alerts issued for dozens of countries, even Russia and Antarctica.

(11.20pm Syd) How To Know When The Tsunami Threat Has Passed :

WHEN NO MAJOR WAVES ARE OBSERVED FOR TWO HOURS AFTER THE ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL OR DAMAGING WAVES HAVE NOT OCCURRED FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS THEN LOCAL AUTHORITIES CAN ASSUME THE THREAT IS PASSED. DANGER TO BOATS AND COASTAL STRUCTURES CAN CONTINUE FOR SEVERAL HOURS DUE TO RAPID CURRENTS. AS LOCAL CONDITIONS CAN CAUSE A WIDE VARIATION IN TSUNAMI WAVE ACTION THE ALL CLEAR DETERMINATION MUST BE MADE BY LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

* (11.46pm) CNN reports the Chile earthquake was the biggest to strike anywhere in the world in 100 years. The 8.8 magnitude earthquake has been claimed to have been 1000 times bigger than the quake that struck Haiti.

* (11.50pm) A marine tsunami alert has been issued for New South Wales. :

Threatened areas extend from Broken Bay to Point Danger.

Possibility of dangerous waves, strong ocean currents and foreshore flooding
for several hours from 08:45 am [EDT] Sunday.

Further south from about 8am Sunday for coastal areas from Broken Bay to Gabo
Island, there are likely to be unusual currents and tides during Sunday.

At this stage, those areas, including the coast and bays around Sydney Harbour,
are not considered to be under threat of significant tsunami effects.

* (12.08am) Reuters reports tsunami sirens will be sounded in Hawaii near dawn, "all shores at risk no matter which direction they face." Five metre waves are expected to hit.

* (12.23am) The tsunami wave heading for the east coast of Australia is estimated to be travelling at 800kmh.

* 21 aftershocks have struck Chile, most above magnitude 5, at least seven above magnitude 6.

* Tsunami waves due to hit New Zealand in a few hours are expected to below 1 metre high. Some reports claim evacuations have already begun, others say the perceived threat has been downgraded.

The emergency announcement for the Pacific Tsunami from New Zealand Civil Defence :

1. Stay off beaches

2. Stay out of the water (sea, rivers and estuaries, including boating activities)

3. Do not go sightseeing

4. Share this information with family, neighbours and friends

5. Listen to the radio and/or TV for updates

6. Follow instructions of your local Civil Defence authorities.

* (12.44am) If you're an Australian with relatives in Chile, you can get updates from the Department of Foreign Affairs on hotline : 1800 002 214

* (12.50) CNN via Twitter reports locals claim a 40 metre high (131 foot) wave hit San Fernandez island a few minutes ago. Surely they mean a 4 metre wave?

* (1am) The Pacific Tsunami has begun striking island coastlines near Easter Island. San Fernandez island smashed by huge waves, death toll climbing. Island's capital San Juan Bautista, reports local radio, half destroyed. Partial evacuations now underway on Easter Island.

* (1.10am) Who will the first religious idiot to blame Sydney's Mardi Gras for Australian tsunami damage later today? Hopefully, no-one.

* (1.15am) News from San Fernandez slow to get out. Report that first waves hitting Easter Island are less than a metre high. Some Pacific Tsunami warnings are being downgraded.

* MSNBC airing Chile earthquake twitter reports from an American Idol contestant.

* (1.30am) CNN now running interview with American Idol contestant, Eliot Yamin, showing twoots he wrote during the Chile earthquake. He gives decent eyewitness account of being tossed around his office and then "running for my life" when the massive quake struck.

CNN journalists are now leaving Haiti earthquake destruction to report from Chile earthquake destruction.

* The Pacific Rim Of Fire has been been humming with earthquakes over magnitude 4.5 through the past week (click image to enlarge) :



* (1.30am) California issues alerts, warns coastal cities to prepare for tsunami waves.

* (1.46am) The Joint Australian Tsunami Warning Centre repeating "marine" tsunami expected for New South Wales and Queensland starting at 8am. No major coastal town or city damage expected.

* (2am) A mass nude photo shoot planned for a beach near Weillington this morning has been cancelled due to tsunami alerts. Let's hope that's the worst thing that happens to New Zealand in the next few hours.

* (2.24am) First Pacific Tsunami wave to hit Hawaii in about 45 minutes. Hotels in Maui are being advised to move all guests above the fourth floor. The latest warnings say waves are expected "to wrap around the islands", and the height of tsunamis waves "cannot be predicted."
Honolulu County is issuing urgent warnings for residents to evacuate as roads are about to be closed. Waves as high as four metres are now expected.

* (2.29am) Tsunami alerts issued in Fiji and Tonga warn of incoming waves at least two to three metres high. Police in Samoa have reportedly issued a nationwide evacuation. Terrible.

* (2.33am) Only a few years ago, most tsunamis struck with little or no warning. Tsunami warning centres and monitoring across the Pacific means this time at least many have warnings of what is heading their way, at the speed of a jet. It is likely thousands, if not more, have been saved from the Pacific Tsunami by this warning system. It's been a remarkable and unnerving experience to follow the path of the Pacific Tsunami through Twitter updates and links, Tsunami warning centre alerts and Google Maps these past five hours.

Accurate to almost the minute advance warnings of tsunami wave heights and arrivals were issued 1 - 16 hours before waves hit many Pacific islands, though most in the tsunami's path would have already been in bed when the reports and warnings were issued.

And the earthquakes and aftershocks continue, as the Rim Of Fire grinds, crashes and explodes.


TBC

So That's What You Sound Like

So this is an interview I did with Carol Duncan of ABC Radio Newcastle a couple of Wednesdays ago, about blogging and writing. The interview runs about 20 minutes.

You can listen to it here.

Now you know what my voice sounds like, I suppose I should dive in and record some yelly rants and obnoxiously in-your-face videos.

More later.

The Tinfoil Is Causing The Microphone To Feedback

Over the past few weeks, Andrew Bolt on Twitter has been undergoing what can only be described as a rapid descent into utter paranoia. Signs of trouble began a month ago, and have culminated in the past few days with an obsessive focus on the allegedly Pagan Lefty-Infiltrated national broadcaster he is forced to pay for :

"I am weeping tears of patriotism."

"Racism only exists towards oppressed white men like me."

"The ABC took my chair. What next? Are they going to take my pants?"

"There's a black van over the road from my house. The ABC are spying on me! This tinfoil headgear will protect my thoughts."

"Bet you don't know what I'm thinking now, Tony Jones. Kerry O'Brien, go and invade someone else's mind."

"Pulled down office blinds so ABC helicopters can't spy. Turned off lights. Kerry O'Brien has X-ray vision...."

"Protection from thought control is doubled if I wrap my body in tinfoil..."

I tried to explain to him the claims that tinfoil can protect against remote mind surveillance are actually part of the mind control conspiracy, and that tin foil instead helps to focus and increase the power of mind-invading psychotronic weapons.

But he didn't listen.

So naturally, seeing as he's now clad from head to toe in tinfoil, totally beset by conspiracies about Pagan Lefty Warminista Globalist World Government and ranting paranoidly about the ABC, Andrew Bolt On Twitter wins himself an invitation to speak at the Young Liberal Nationals of Queensland convention.




Invitation Accepted


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The Sounds Of Early Morning Barnaby

Barnaby Joyce conducts a radio interview on the phone while also, fluuuuusssssh, on the toilet. And why not?

Or does he?

Crikey investigates and Barnaby's people reveal it wasn't a toilet flushing, it was instead an early morning garbage truck.

Or was it?

More Here

I sense a Walkley is already being engraved.


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How And When Did Mossad Assassins Get Australian Passports?

By Darryl Mason

From smh.com.au :

Police have 15 more suspects in the assassination of a Hamas leader in Dubai, including three who were allegedly travelling on Australian passports, CNN reported last night.

The network reported police as saying that among the new suspects are six more people who are accused of using British passports in the commission of the crime, four others using Irish passports, two other French passport holders and three people, including a woman, travelling on Australian passports.

The Department of Foreign Affairs was unavailable for comment last night.

Were those Australian passports issued recently, or, more likely, between 1997 and 2002?

From Lateline, April 28, 2005, when Alexander Downer was foreign minister :

HAMISH FITZSIMMONS: Labor says more than 2000 Australian passports went missing between 1997 and 2002 when the Government dropped requirements for them to be sent out by certified mail. The trade in counterfeit identification is big business and in high demand. In the last year police broke up two major fake identity scams in NSW alone. A national identity card to bring uniformity to the identification process which currently differs from state to state has been proposed as an additional way of fighting ID fraud.

The incredible fact that thousands of Australian passports went missing back then was quickly hosed down by the Howard government.

Alexander Downer, April 28, 2005 :

"The fact they've gone missing doesn't mean they've ended up in the hands of crooks who've been using those passports," he said.

"I think you'll find that if there is any passport that has gone missing and the person you send it to hasn't received the passport, the probability is around 100 per cent that they would report that and then you can obviously cancel that passport.

"I mean, it's not a major problem."

Will the Rudd government make as big a deal of all those missing passports now, as they did back in 2005?

UPDATE : News.com.au is running this image on its story about the Australian passports used by Mossad assassins in Dubai :



And names two other Australian passport holders - Adam Marcus Korman and Bruce Joshua Daniel - as suspects listed by Dubai as part of a "logistical support team" in the assassination of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, a military leader of the Hamas government.

Kevin Rudd on radio earlier today :

"...any state which has been complicit in the abuse of the Australian passport system is treating Australia with contempt."

For now at least, Dubai is claiming the passports are not forgeries.

UPDATE : Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt appears to be still paying off his free trip to Israel last year. Here's how he sums up international reaction to this episode of identity theft and "state sponsored terrorism" (in the words of UK prime minister Gordon Brown) :

"the absurdly confected outrage"

I thought that was the title of his new easy listening radio show.


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Censorship By Matt Drudge

It's hard to believe that Matt Drudge was once regarded as some sort of take-no-prisoners mainstream media troublemaker.

An example follows of Matt Drudge's reaction, and censorship, when confronted with one of the most explosive media scandal stories in years.

A headline on both the Drudge Report website, and the @Drudge_Report Twitter feed :




The actual headline of the Reuters story :



Hmm, a certain name seems to have gone missing...

reposted from Your New Reality

Matt Drudge And Frank Gaffney Share The Bong Of Rampant Paranoia
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"Mum? When I Grow Up I Want To Pole-Dance For Australia!"

By Darryl Mason



ABC 3, "the free-to-air channel for kids", had an....interesting story on possible future Olympic events during its February 23 afternoon bulletin.

Watch the news bulletin from 4.16.

Transcript excerpts :

"To sport, and there are some pretty weird events in the Olympics. Look at curling in Vancouver right now, a sport you actually play with a broom.

"But what about pole-dancing?"

"....in the old days pole-dancing was pretty much reserved for nightclubs. Pretty seedy nightclubs.

"Is (pole-dancing) any more weird than prancing around with a ribbon or a ball?"

I guess it depends if the winner is decided on points, or tips.

The ABC makes the working lives of conservative columnists too damn easy.



(spotted by @crazybrave)


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Presenting Friendly NewKev : The 2010 Edition

Australian panel TV shows where comedians allegedly show their razor sharp wit are notoriously scripted and rehearsed.

So how many times did prime minister Kevin Rudd run through the questions he was thrown on Good News Week last night, with his staff? I'd say, at least ten times. Probably a few times with his image handlers as well, just to get the nuances of Friendly NewKev just about right :



Has a laugh track been added to enhance the crowd reaction?

Rudd had to change his public image, he was moving dangerously close in real life to the impersonation by Anthony Ackroyd :



UPDATE : 2UE political correspondent Latika Bourke reports the prime minister's office has confirmed Rudd had plenty of time to rehearse :

"(GNW) producers volunteered the seven comedy quiz questions to the Prime Minister in advance...'

I wonder what would have happened had they changed those questions on the night, without letting Rudd or his people know?

You just don't get that kind of anarchic behaviour in Australian TV comedy anymore.

It's all so safe.

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Conroy Weeps With Laughter

Anti-digital censorship activist thingy Anonymous announced a protest against Communications Minister Stephen Conroy's plans to filter internet content, and claimed :

We Are Legion

A Roman Legion :



The Australian Anonymous Legion protesting in Sydney, as photographed by Ry Crozier from ITNews :



Check out Crozier's slide show. It includes the absolute psychological death blow of any protest - when the handful of police that bothered to show up decide to pack it in early and leave you to it.


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A Drive Isn't Funny, With An Empty Tummy

"the cows and the sheep and the birds and the horses were mooing and baah-ing and whistling and neighing....."

It took only someone asking if I remembered the words to an old Kenfucky Tried Chook (that's what we used to it) animated ad, featuring two kids pushing maximum density, for the jingle to shove aside whatever else I was thinking about and begin playing.

Disturbingly, I remembered the words, more than 30 years later, with at least 85% accuracy. No wonder the history lessons of the kings and queens of England didn't find a permanent home in my memory, it was already stuffed full of ad jingles.



It's been a long time since fast food admakers used a couple of dangerously fat children to flog their obesity-linked products. But it sure worked back in the 1970s. At least where I grew up, kids that fat, who could convince dad to pull into a fried chicken dispensary with only minimal moaning, clearly came from wealthy, or wealthier, families. This was aspirational.

The reason why the song entrenched itself so deeply into childhood memories? No doubt it was flogged mercilessly on TV, but the jingle was also issued as a (i think) bright red single and given away at the shops.

Clearly, I wore my copy out.


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The Sydney Morning Herald belatedly realises that John Pilger is one of Australia's most incisive writers and brilliant orators, and publishes excerpts from his recent speech to students at Sydney Boys High School :

...Australia has changed its Anglo-Irish characteristics for a nation drawn from all corners of the earth, this amazing diversity is celebrated (at this school)....

In congratulating all school leavers, I urge you to remember success in life does not necessarily come from prizes. What is important is the person you are, the kindness you express, the compassion you feel and the courage you show. Go into the world and relinquish the safety of silence and make trouble - remembering that the most important trouble is calling to account those who assume power over our lives.

The Rest Is Here

I wonder if the Herald, or any other Australian mainstream media, will publish Pilger's thoughts on Obama, the aftermath of the War On Iraq, and the rumbling War On Iran?

Probably not.

Thanks to reader Kerry for sending this in :



Tony Abbott explained it is impossible for him to have sex while on the road campaigning.

The 'Related Coverage' side-bar headline :




Dead Horse? I call mine The Lone Ranger.

Piers Akerman Claims The Intellectually Disabled Are "Incapable Of Understanding Plain English"

Daily Telegraph columnist, and ABC Insiders panelist, Piers Akerman plays the 'You're A Retard' card in reply to commenters who keep pointing out what an enormous liar he is :



Piers Akerman's words :

"...you really should read an article before commenting on it. Unless you have an intellectual disability, and are incapable of understanding plain English."

UPDATE : I have contacted the online Daily Telegraph's editor, Kathy Lipari, to find out why she thinks it is appropriate that a Daily Telegraph columnist can claim that intellectually disabled people are "incapable of understanding plain English."

I will update with her response, when, or if, she responds.

Piers Akerman is a guest on ABC's Insiders this Sunday morning. Why does ABC TV think it is appropriate to include as a panelist on Insiders a columnist who smears the intellectually disabled?

Note : The above headline has been rewritten from earlier today.


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Big Kevin, Is He Watching Your Children?

By Darryl Mason

So this is why prime minister Kevin Rudd wanted to get a laptop in front of every school student in Australia :

....the laptops issued to high-school students....have webcams that can be covertly activated by the schools' administrators, who have used this facility to spy on students and even their families.

Don't panic. Yet. This story is about an extremely creepy laptops-for-students program in Philadelphia.

But do the the tens of thousands of laptops being distributed to Australian schools have webcams as standard? And can they be remotely activated?

Students probably already know the lenses can be blinded temporarily, without damage, by taping a small piece of paper over that digital eye.

Just in case.



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Peter Garrett Quits Politics, Rejoins Midnight Oil



Come back here in February 2011 and tell me I'm wrong.

At every gig, for years to come, there'll be at least one person in the audience shout-singing, "How can we sleep while our batts are burning!"

Miranda Devine will do it, at least once. With Tim Blair on her shoulders.

The Chaser said farewell to Peter Garrett's political career in 2008



(the above image was screengrabbed from a larger banner here)

UPDATE : Philip Coorey, in the Sydney Morning Herald, hoses down the rumours :

Mr Rudd has no intention of shifting Mr Garrett. Sources close to the Prime Minister say Mr Garrett has defended himself inside and outside the Parliament better than anybody anticipated.

The Greens : Vote For Us Or....We'll Politely Ask You Again To Vote For Us

Below is the absolute opposite of your bog standard political attack ads. And it cuts through. The message is clear, there's a vision for the future, and The Greens are not trying to scare you into voting for them. That in itself is refreshing.



I like a tastily vicious political attack ad, and I'll probably run a few here during FedElect2010, but all that bitterness and "Gotcha!" and 'nyah!nyah!nyah!' becomes incredibly tiresome, very quickly.

Let's hope we see plenty of creativity, or at the very least something we haven't seen before, in the video messages and ads served up by the political parties this federal election year.

They have to catch our attention now with great vids to even think about catching our votes.

Crikey's First Dog On The Moon has some free bumper stickers for you :



BTW - Honk!

More Here

The 'Epic Beard Man' Top Ten

If you haven't seen this yet, be warned, there is sickening tension, violence, racism all round and plenty of swears. The list will follow :



The Epic Beard Man Top Ten

* The Epic Beard Man, clearly upset, tried to end the confrontation by walking away.

* The man who threw the first punch, threw only one punch.

* The Epic Beard Man stopped when the other man was down, and finished with "I told you not to fuck with me." And he did tell him exactly that.

* No guns were drawn, no-one else on the bus was injured.

* The loudmouth friend with the vid : First, "kick his white ass!" Seconds later, "Oh! What the fuck?"

* "It's not worth it, blood. It's not worth it." And it wasn't.

* 4Chan have already identified and contacted the person seen stealing the old man's shopping bag and demanded they return everything.

* "Oooh, he leaking."

* This motivational poster appeared online when the clip had clocked up just a few hundred views on YouTube.

* The brief glimpse at the end showing a bus seat sign that reads, "Keep Our City Clean And Safe. Do Your Part."

If you're a tryhard, the next time you encounter a Vietnam vet wearing a shirt that reads "I Am A Motherfucker", just assume that he is and keep your distance.

How The 'Epic Beard Man' Narrative Will Likely Unfold In The Mainstream News Media


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Truck Almost Ends Tony Abbott's Rise To Prime Minister

Maybe he really does have God on his side, after all :



God has now marked down Tony Abbott's name down in his 'You Owe Me One, Big Style' ledger.

(Via ABC Video)

Many will recommend this movie to Tony Abbott, starting now, but @idlaviv wonders if Abbott's driver has already seen it :



Yes, younger readers, that is a Steven Spielberg movie, one of his first, and still one of his best. Without it, there would have been no Mad Max.

AC/DC : The Product


SmartCompany.com argues famous brands can learn a lot from the decades of $50 million per year plus success enjoyed by Australia's geatest hard rock band. The cut-thru message is: don't fuck with the brand that people already love :

Classic, iconic products (think Coca-Cola as a long-bow example) never change their formula. They might introduce other new products, but at the core of the company's product range is the old favourite. An iconic product also lets you transcend generations, something Coke and AC/DC do very, very well.

That doesn't mean these brands don't innovate – last night's show was a perfect example of how AC/DC tweak their packaging (that is, the giant stage props used in the live show) while keeping the product (the songs) the same and cashing in over and over again.

The concert also taught me a lot about innovation in the area of brand extension. The amount of AC/DC merchandise being sold last night was incredible and the fans (many of whom were already clad in AC/DC T-shirts) were snapping the stuff up at an impressive rate.

So there's a lesson – when you find yourself with a product or service that your customers just love, be careful that you don't change it too much.

Read The Full Story Here

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Stories I've Been Reading Instead Of Posting Blogs Here :

American Soldiers In Iraq Listen To Slayer's 'Angel Of Death' To "Become A Monster" and Get Their Heads Into A "Predator Mindset"

Five Centuries Of New Media Technology Scares - From The Printing Press To Facebook

UK Police Surveillance Drone Grounded....For Being Illegal

Claims CIA Had Weaponised LSD By 1951, Sprayed It Over A French Village Causing An Outbreak Of Mass Hysteria That Killed Five

You Can Now Spend Days Riding The Entire Length Of The Trans-Siberian Railway On YouTube

Saudi Prince Owns Stake In Fox News, Conservative Activists Claim This Is "Dangerous For America"

Afghanistan : It's The Poor Of America's Generation Y Fighting This War Now - Prediciton That 300 To 500 Will Die There Each Month

What A Shock, The Same NeoCon Blood-Soaked War Pigs Who Demanded Bush Attack Iraq Are Now Demanding Obama Bomb Iran To "Save His Presidency"

Classic NewsMax : Claim Obama Plotted "Marxist Revolution" To "Redistribute The Wealth" While In College

George W. Bush, Pre-Iraq War : “Gog And Magog Are At Work In The Middle East...The Biblical Prophecies Are Being Fulfilled...This Confrontation Is Willed By God"

Captain America Recruited To Attack Anti-GOP Conservative Movement

Winners Of The World Press Photo Of The Year

Adam Curtis Deep Probes The BBC Archives For Afghanistan Doco, His Notes On A Fascinating, Shocking, Surreal History

Japan, Britain, Canada, Denmark, France, the Netherlands, Russia, Norway, New Zealand Have All Aired Stories And Docos Challenging The Truth Of The Bush-Era 9/11 'Official Story'....But Not The ABC

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Quality Death Exploiting Journalism

Glenn Milne, The Australian :

....more Australians have died as a result of the Rudd government's home insulation program, "administered" by Environment Minister Peter Garrett, than lost their lives in the Iraq war.

This is what years of alcohol abuse does to your brain, kids. So go easy.

Nothing from Milne, of course, about the dozens of young Australians who served in the Iraq War, witnessed the gruesome brutal reality of an illegal invasion that Milne fully backed and came home and killed themselves.

That Milne can even dare to mention Jake Kovco's name as he attempts to blame Peter Garrett for the deaths of four insulation installers shows just what a foul and odious Liberal Party hack he really is.

Oh, this is going to be a very, very bitter election campaign. Not so from much from Tony Abbott or Kevin Rudd necessarily, but it's already clear that aging, empathy-fucked Murdoch opinionists have convinced themselves they can ensure that the Rudd government only serves one term.

A politically historic event they no doubt intend to be an active part of.

It's going to be grim.


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Real world protests for virtual world freedoms :

(click to enlarge)

JG Ballard, 'What I Believe' :

I believe in the gentleness of the surgeon’s knife, in the limitless geometry of the cinema screen, in the hidden universe within supermarkets, in the loneliness of the sun, in the garrulousness of planets, in the repetitiveness or ourselves, in the inexistence of the universe and the boredom of the atom.

More Here


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Lit My Knnow If I Mussed Any Tyypos

Tim Blair, an editor for the Daily Telegraph, spots a typo (!) in The Age, while once again missing typo incidents in his own newspaper's online front page.

In the big box lead story no less :



It's not the first time this kind of thing has happened.

Nor did he notice a columnist for his newspaper fabricated a quote from a book he hasn't read.

But, to his credit, he has been busy lately....

* Checking the fashion choices of visiting celebrities.

* Mocking a scientist who became suicidal after death threats and emails telling him to go kill himself.

* And calling avid gamers "sad case" people, while claiming millions of Australian "gamers" have been "gamed" because a 24 year old (who he needed to highlight "still lives with his parents") has been fined $1.5 million for illegally uploading an old Mario game to a file sharing site.

Bagging gamers. That should prove very popular with the over-50s.


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Midnight Oil To Reunite For PeteAid

Four people had to die so the Sydney Morning Herald's Miranda Devine could deliver this joke :



Genius stuff.

Some day soon, all protests will be conducted only by people dressed as Na'vi, wearing V (Guy Fawkes) masks.

The Joe Hockey Experience

Isn't Question Time humiliating enough? No.



ABC's Lateline, February 11, 2010. Let's go straight to the highlights :

TONY JONES: ....if the next election is largely about economic management, and most likely it will be, we can pretty much script the Labor Party's election ads right now. Tony Abbott says he's not interested in economics. Barnaby Joyce can't tell his millions from his billions, and says the country's pretty much bankrupt and wouldn't be able to repay its national debt, and then up flashes a picture of the Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey wearing a tutu, a tiara and carrying a golden wand. I mean ...

JOE HOCKEY: Well they've obviously shown you the ad.

TONY JONES: I have seen it.

JOE HOCKEY: (Laughs). You have seen it already!

TONY JONES: I've seen the pictures.

JOE HOCKEY: As long as you weren't a part of the production of the ad, Tony.

TONY JONES: I've seen the pictures and imagining what the ad would be.

JOE HOCKEY: Well, you know what: Australians can see through that, and they will see through that, because Australians ...

TONY JONES: See through your tutu.

JOE HOCKEY: No, no, look, can I tell you - gosh. I mean, if you're a real person and you do real things and you engage in, you know, the activities that Australians do ...

TONY JONES: Cross-dressing!

JOE HOCKEY: Oh, well maybe you do, Tony. I mean, you don't know what happens at the ABC, do you, really?

JOE HOCKEY: If you want a real person...I care about real people, I live with real people, I engage with real people.

In this Lateline interview, and many others, Joe Hockey seems obsessed with the idea that there are both real and fake people, in politics and walking around in everday life.

I hope Joe Hockey pursues this idea further. Here's Philip K Dick on the subject :

Fake realities will create fake humans. Or, fake humans will generate fake realities and then sell them to other humans, turning them, eventually, into forgeries of themselves. So we wind up with fake humans inventing fake realities and then peddling them to other fake humans.

Okay, maybe that's a bit too far.

JOE HOCKEY: ...I really want real people to be in politics. I want real people with real words engaging in real activity. Barnaby Joyce is real. Lindsay Tanner, Peter Garrett - these people aren't real. Kevin Rudd's not real.

TONY JONES: You cut them and they bleed, they are real.

JOE HOCKEY: Well, no.

Perhaps Hockey could push for mandatory Voight-Kammpf testing of all politicians running for election this year.



The imitation people must be weeded out, even those with pre-programmed four year life spans.

And to finish, back in the 'real' world :

JOE HOCKEY: ....Australia was very lucky to have China with massive stimulus and fantastic terms of trade and demand for our resources.

TONY JONES: Oh, so - sorry, can I just interrupt you there? Stimulus works in China, but not in Australia?

JOE HOCKEY: Well, their demand for our iron ore and various other resources had a huge impact.

TONY JONES: But their stimulus worked to drive their economy, but not ours?

JOE HOCKEY: Oh, well, yeah, well.

The video of the full interview is here. It's mostly Gold.



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Ray Of Lite

ABC Managing Director Mark Scott, on Twitter :

That 24/7 news recruitment must be underway. Just saw Ray Martin in the Ultimo foyer. I'm always last to know.

Ray Martin is at the ABC to discuss doing a show for the ABC's 24 hour news channel?

That can mean only one thing. The long awaited full hour version of this pilot :



Laugh if you like, but you know full well if you were sitting in front of the TV at 11pm on a Friday night, nine beers down, brain-drained and body slabbed after a hectic week of work, you'd watch at least 20 minutes of Small Talk before you changed the channel.

Me too.



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They Should Be Scared, If Our Serial Killers Don't Get Them, Our Psychotically Violent Fauna Will



They just make this shit up, so everyone has a definable and thereby treatable phobia :

Novahollandiaphobia - Fear of Australia, Australians, Australian culture etc.

There's a lot to choose from in that list, of course there is, but I think this is my favourite surreal phobia :

Chronophobia - Fear of time

Actually, it's probably a toss up between that, and this :

Levophobia - Fear of things to the left side of the body.

And I have to cram this one in, because hearing or seeing the name of the phobia should trigger incidents of the phobia in 'sufferers' :

Macroxenoglossophobia - Fear of long, strange words.

Sorry if you've just crumbled in a shattered heap.

Come Visit Beautiful Australia.....And Die


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It's A Wonderland Land, It's A HoneyLand

If Australia ever needs a Village People-esque 12 inch disco remix national anthem, here it is.

@cosmicjester via @justinnorrie finds some YouTube Gold :



The song, Good News Australia, charted somewhat in 1979-1980, according to here.

You can download the MP3 here

Kevin Rudd Admits It : The Great Global Warming Conspiracy Is A Commo Plot!

You didn't believe it when Andrew Bolt told you. You didn't believe it when puzzle maker Christopher Monckton told you. So will you finally believe it when prime minister Kevin Rudd tells you?

"Let me tell you, (global warming) is all one global communist conspiracy. So watch out, and lock up your friends. It's going to come and get you in the middle of the night."

An interesting strategy. That line got Rudd one of his biggest, and most genuine, laughs of the night from the Q & A audience of students, and successfully deflated some of the tension of the room.


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Murdoch Defamation Payout Spigot Piers Akerman Faked Famous 'We Must Announce Disasters' Quote That Fueled The AGW Skeptic Movement

The Daily Telegraph's Piers Akerman, November 5, 2006 :

This alarmist approach reeked of stupidity, snake oil, and misguided gospel preaching but was in line with a formula adopted by the first chairman of the IPCC, Sir John Houghton, who produced the IPCC's first three reports in 1990, 1995 and 2001 and wrote in his book Global Warming, The Complete Briefing, in 1994: "Unless we announce disasters no one will listen.''

That bolded quote cited by Akerman did not appear in Sir John Houghton's book. Today's UK Independent quotes Houghton :

"It's not the sort of thing I would ever say. It's quite the opposite of what I think and it pains me to see this quote being used repeatedly in this way. I would never say we should hype up the risk of climate disasters in order to get noticed."

Even though the quotation appears on about 1.77 million web links, no one seems to know where it originated.

Akerman's November 5, 2006 article is cited by the UK Independent as "the earliest record" of the fake quote appearing online. How proud he must be.

Sir John, who was the former head of the Met Office but is now living in semi-active retirement in Wales, said he is considering taking legal action because he feels that the continued recycling of the misquotation is doing him and his science a huge disfavour.

"It doesn't do me any good because it suggests to everyone that I have hyped things up. I've been growing aware of it now for some time. The trouble is, if I just deny it then it cuts no ice with the people who want to believe it. I have to consider legal action," Sir John said.

If Houghton does take legal action, it will be the latest in a long line of defamation suits against Akerman, who must have cost Rupert Murdoch at least $2 million in payouts, payoffs and legal fees in the past few years alone.

How did Akerman respond to questions from the UK Independent about his fabrication of this famous quote? Well, how do you reckon, once he knew he'd been busted? Again?

Mr Akerman did not respond to enquiries by The Independent.

Daily Telegraph lawyers probably have a rapid response unit solely devoted to Akerman by now.

More soon....


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A Panel Of One

From Q & A :

Here are the questions our panel faced this week.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was the sole guest.

He near effortlessly swivelled through his iBrain MP3 carousel to come up with tranquiliser-strength answers to most of the questions posed by an audience of 200 GenYers, already numbed into mild shock by the loss of their phones, they were sometimes seen furtively grasping their own fingers to stop them unconsciously air-texting.

Some of the occasional non-soft questions lobbed at the prime minister :

MATTHEW LAING asked: Prime Minster. Last week a series of newspapers ran stories noting the long list promises made at the last election by the ALP that remain unfulfilled after more than two years. Is it any wonder then why idealistic youth become cynical adults when it comes to politics?

LINNA WEI asked: The Australian Medical Association in Queensland has said that 100 lives a year could be saved if the legal drinking age was lifted to 21, the same as it is in the US. Teenagers start driving when they are 18; coincidentally this is also the legal drinking age in Australia. Mr Rudd, have you thought about lifting the minimum legal drinking age in Australia?

GEORGIA LOURADIS asked: The French government is currently moving to ban the wearing of the Burqa in public locations. Do you think it should be a core part of Western and Australian values: that woman should show their faces in public just like men?

PERKASH BATRA asked: Australian Universities are encouraging International Students TO STUDY in Australia, whereas Racism is increasing day by day, creating a big problem for International students. I have been victim myself. What are government plans to overcome this issue?

MOSES KENHOK GOI ADUOT asked: Why is Australia more than happy to receive president Barack Obama (a black man) when they are ashamed of their own black citizens, whether Aboriginals or African Australians?

BLAISE JOSEPH asked: Given the Climategate e-mails scandal. Given that the IPCC claims on Himalayan glaciers melting and Amazon rainforests disappearing were both fabricated. Given that the Dutch government is now reviewing all IPCC claims. Given all this: do you still have full confidence in the claims of the IPCC, and is it still necessary to rush ahead with your ETS?

One of Kevin Rudd's finest moments from the often snippy series of mini-lectures he responded with to many of the questions posed :

"...the question asked by this person over here was on the basis that they were not. I just wanted to be clear about the basis upon which that question was asked...."

Strong Coffee Required : The Q & A Transcript Is Here

Interestingly, when you scan through the questions, Rudd got asked a number of harder questions than usually posed to him by the news media.

Why did this Q & A need to be moderated by Tony Jones, or anyone, anyway? The youth would have sorted the prime minister out if he waffled for too long.

And what's so bad about hearing the prime minister shouted out and corrected and occasionally heckled by a roomful of kids?

That's the kind of PM Vs The Kids debate action we want to see.

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Now Much Easier To Ignore

The Daily Telegraph moves with the social networking times and replaces this blog click-thru box on its digital front page...



With this :



The TB Appreciation Society on Facebook has 21 members.



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