Thursday, June 12, 2008

Rudd's Secret 'Management Manual' Exposed

After extensive research (well, reading, I've found a 1944 Simple Sabotage Field Manual published and distributed by the OSS (forerunners to the CIA) that, in part, reads hilariously, and a little disturbingly, like a hitlist of PM KevRudd's management techniques and strategies.

How much of this already sounds gratingly familiar?
* Multiply paper work in plausible ways. Start duplicate files.

* To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers...

* Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.
* Insist on doing everything through “channels.” Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.

* When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and considera­tion.” Attempt to make the committees as large as possible — never less than five.

* Haggle over precise wordings of com­munications, minutes, resolutions.

* Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.

* Be worried about the propriety of any decision — raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.

* Give lengthy and incomprehensible explanations when questioned.
Chilling stuff. Rudd staffers, you have my sympathy.

Then again, most of these 'sabotage techniques' could equally apply to the decade of mostly grinding farce that was the Howard/Downer era.

But don't worry, we haven't forgotten Opposition leader Brandy Nelson. He's been reading the manual, too :
* Make “speeches.” Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your “points” by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences.

* Never hesitate to make a few appropriate “patriotic” comments.

* Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
Actually, it's unfair to simply dump on our political leaders like that. Most workers in large offices, who are forced to endure multi-hour long conferences and strategy meetings, will be wondering how many of their bosses and supervisors have already adopted the tips from this manual. Hell, most of this stuff is the backbone of modern corporate management and government bureaucracy.