Stories I'm Reading Instead Of Writing Blog Posts Here :

Tony Abbott Admits Howard Government Spent $1 Billion On Flu Pandemic "Precautions"

20 Million Americans Have Already Lost Their Homes, Another 18 Million Will Soon Lose Theirs

New York Times Tells Americans If They Owe More Than Their Home Is Worth, Just Walk Away

Seven Insane Ways That Music Affects The Human Body

AnimalLit - Biographies Of Quirky, Adventurous Pets - Push MiseryLit Off Bookstore Shelves

Since 2001, the US Dollar Has Lost Nearly 25% Of Its Value

Fox News Suddenly Realises Sarah PalmPrompter Palin Is Mocking The President During War-Time (Remember How Much They Used To Hate That?)

Russian President Signs New Military Doctrine For Preventative Nuclear Strikes Against Potential Aggressors

NATO "Surprised" That Russia Names Alliance As "Main Threat"

Online Obscurity, Why It's Better Than Digital Fame

A Philip K Dick Reality : The $7000 Multiple Personality SexBot

Stunning : Americans Spend More On Bank Overdraft Fees Than They Do On Fresh Vegetables

The Desperation Of NeoCons : Pathetic, Miserable WarPig Daniel Pipes Tells Obama He Can "Save His Presidency" By Bombing Iran, Now! Now! Now!

At Least 100 American SAS Have Been "Training" (Fighting) In Pakistan Since 2007

21st Century Operation MockingBird? - Why The CIA Should Outsource To Downsized Journalists

You Are A Virus....Well, At Least 50% Of You

Internet Uprising Overturns Online Censorship In Australia

On The Eve Of The Global Financial Crisis Part II, Australia's Political Elite Gather In Sydney With World's Central Bankers


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"Sorry Puppy, We're Putting You Down For Gaia"

By Darryl Mason

Opposition leader Tony "Treeple Skills" Abbott is continuing to push his eco-credentials in the confident hope that if he's interviewed in front of enough wilderness money shots, dappled in the sunlight breaking through canopies of palm fronds, then those who think The Greens are simply too gay to earn a real Christian's environmental vote will go for him.

And they probably will.

But how Green will Tony Abbott turn? Will he come up with that will out-eco even The Greens?

Some inspiration may be found in a report examining revolutionary society-transforming ways to allegedly halt rapid climate change :

Its State of the World 2010 report published this week outlines a blueprint for changing our entire way of life. "Preventing the collapse of human civilisation requires nothing less than a wholesale transformation of dominant cultural patterns. This transformation would reject consumerism... and establish in its place a new cultural framework centred on sustainability."

Surely a report like this would include a long list of things we should no longer do, or products and lifestyles we should no longer embrace? Oh, it surely does :

Get rid of the dog.

No bottled water.

No takeaway menus.

No fun cars.

Don't buy books or toys, borrow them from libraries.

Grow your own (food) in community gardens.

All products should be designed to last a lifetime.

Public transport only.

No plane-related holidays, or air-based trips at all.

Probably not much in there for Tony Abbott. Though it would be good to see him come out for community gardens and more public book & toy libaries. And the idea of any politician trying to rally local industry to go back to creating quality products that last (most of) a lifetime would be exciting indeed.

But Abbott won't go GreenXtreme, no matter how many new votes there might be in it.

He will stay the coure of the lo-fi greener, all the "What's Good For The Environment Is Good For Australia" pap, and leave alone any moves towards killing off the airline, publishing, pet, fast food and disposable product industries with a radical Fight Club-style anti-consumerist platform.

In Abbott's favour, when it comes to greening up, is the fact that he doesn't seem out of place tromping through a forest, where Kevin Rudd looks about as comfortable and competent amongst the trees as John Howard did on a cricket pitch.

"Oh Sanjay! You Make Me Melt Like A Himalayan Glacier!"

Of course he made some mistakes, he was distracted reliving the sexual adventures of his distant youth :

The UN's top climate official, who is at the heart of a controversy over incorrect global warming data, has written a racy novel which dishes up sex, reincarnation and a real-life Hollywood actress.

The book also weaves in lectures on the environment and the fate of Himalayan glaciers - the issue which has triggered calls for Pachauri's resignation.

This story doesn't make clear whether the lead character Sanjay actually lectures on glaciers and the environment while "overcome by a lust that he had never known before."

Is this the beginning of a new genre of enviro-erotic novels?

The Ecomance?

It's Got Nipples, Run It!

This is all you need to do in a Ukranian protest to make the pages of an allegedly esteemed Australian newspaper :

"Enough raping our democracy!'' shouted the protesters, who held signs with slogans such as "Help! Rape!'' and wore nothing except for jeans and strips of green electrical tape over their nipples.

Then again, if four male protestors walked into Joe Hockey's electorate office tomorrow and rested their scrotums on his desk, that'd probably make the papers in Eastern Europe, unless they ran away very fast.

(via @zombiemao)

Vote Liberal, Labor Or Greens, It Doesn't Matter, Australia Will Still Get A Carbon Tax

By Darryl Mason

Chris Ulhmann writes on ABC's The Drum that Opposition Leader Tony Abbott knows he has only one shot at becoming prime minister, so this is it, he's going in hard...or so it would
appear :

The Coalition is not going to win a war for the votes of climate change purists or the devotees of detail. What it wants is to set up a position that it can defend while it seeks to win a war of attrition against the Government's emissions trading scheme.

It is reminiscent of what has happened to United States in Iraq and Afghanistan. Given its domination of the sky, no conventional army can stop an America invasion. But as Machiavelli knew, taking a country and holding it are two very different things. The way to beat America is to get its soldiers out of their planes and tanks and into a prolonged street-by-street battle.

The Coalition doesn't want to engage in lofty debates that it knows almost no one understands. It wants hand-to-hand combat on the cost of living increases that come with putting a price on carbon.

Climate Change Minister Penny Wong was almost, almost, worn down by Tony Jones on Lateline last night, when he refused to stop asking her how much pricing carbon will eventually cost the average family. She avoided answering at least twelve questions on the subject. It was gruesome, like watching John Howard in late 2002 trying to deny we were about to go to War On Iraq, when Australian soldiers had already been deployed, knowing they were going there to fight.

The Rudd government for now has not much to counter the opposition's claims that the GBNT (Great Big New Tax) will cost everybody. It will.

But Abbott already appears suspicious is his mind-numbing repetitive use of "Great Big New Tax" by not calling the GBNT what it really is, will eventually become, was always going to be. A Carbon Tax.

Abbott is reluctant to call it a carbon tax because he knows that if he becomes prime minister, it will be all but impossible for Australia to function in the New Global Economy without one.

Labor and The Greens want a carbon tax, the Liberals will accept one, and Barnaby Joyce will be told to hold back from shouting about '"Carbon Tax!!" in public, too often. Entertaining his own dreams of one day becoming prime minister himself, Joyce will also, reluctantly, play along.

The Carbon Tax was always going to be the end result of either the introduction of an ETS, or the abandonment of an ETS. It doesn't matter which reality unfolds between now and election day. The introduction of a carbon tax was the mission from at least 2006 onwards for Labor, the Liberals and The Greens, irrespective of how oppposed they appeared to be of each other's plans.

To really whip up the growing tide of climate change skeptics in Australia, to get on side a new Liberal conservative base, Abbott needs to go to the election pledging 'No Carbon Tax!' if he really wants to win.

But he won't do it.

No matter how much he wants to win.

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Bizarre "Circular Discs" On BoM Radar Unexplained For Now

The Bureau of Meteorology notes on its National Loop site that there have been some extremely weird things appearing on BoM radar imagery of late :

Please note we are experiencing technical issues with the radar images resulting in circular disks appearing unexpectedly at times. We will endeavour to look at this problem as quickly as possible.

The BoM means these :









No-one from the BoM appears to have offered any explanation other than "technical difficulties."

But some who monitor or regularly check in on BoM radar, and have seen these "circular discs" are convinced the images are evidence of weather modification tests, or something much worse.

They certainly make for more entertaining explanations than boring old "technical difficulties."

From the Sydney Morning Herald, February 3.



They should have capitalised YOUR.

(thanks KCB)

It's Better For You If You Eat It



Here's a bit of Australian history you don't hear mentioned much :

''In the early 1800s, Australia was twice saved from famine by eating virtually nothing but hemp seed for protein and hemp leaves for roughage."

You can buy hemp seeds to feed your budgie in Australia, and to mix in with your dog's food, you can even buy them to use as fish bait, but, stunningly, they're still not legally available for human consumption.

That should change soon, once immature tabloid hysteria over all things hemp/cannabis finally fades away, and Australian politicians who know and have used the plant for any number of positive purposes can finally legislate calmly, and sanely.

Northern Australia has ideal conditions for massive hemp farms, as illegal cannabis growers already well know, that could and should be harvested for their miraculous food source, if for nothing else.

Hemp seed is a food source known to humans for tens of thousands of years, and yet somehow forgotten almost completely in the last eight decades.

"Hemp seeds are a real superfood.....23 per cent protein, and has more Omega 3 and Omega 6 than virtually any other source, including fish."

Australia could literally feed the world with one of the most concentrated sources of protein available, with the crops soaking up plenty of carbon at the same time, leaving behind plant waste that can be ploughed back in the earth, to renew the soil. Just for starters...

More Details On Australia's Burgeoning Hemp Industry

"I Know You're Really Not A Bad Dog.......AAAUUUUGGH!!!"

The intention was good, if misguided. However this still sounds like a Darwin Award nominee :

A doctor who won a four-year legal battle to save his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans has been mauled to death by the animals.

It could be worse. That Macqaurie banker could have been into German or Japanese niche porn.

That Commenter Is A Fake....But His Work Really Helps With The Comment Count

Paul Colgan reveals The Punch has readers who post dozens of comments under as many as 21 fake names. Colgan acknowledges one faker was allowed to keep posting comments at The Punch for at least two days after his japery was uncovered.

He thinks he knows who's responsible :

He’s bald, wears socks with sandals and lives with his mum. He surfs the internet from his bedroom, where on the wall is a pennant hung on an angle commemorating North Melbourne’s 1975 Grand Final win. He eats tinned asparagus and has a haphazard collection of Star Wars action figures in which the prize item is a Millennium Falcon but its radar dish broke off years ago.

The comment faker is, more likely, working out of a Melbourne PR office.

The Punch is certainly not the first News Limited blog to be infected by fake commenters pumping anti-green propaganda, or pro-war talking points.

At least one News Limited blog has even been known to publish comments by the girlfriend of the blogger, writing under an assumed identity, defending his opinions.

Another News Limited blog has knowingly allowed federal politicians to attack their enemies under fake names, and that blog has a particular blind spot for the fake comment work of staffers and advisors of Liberal and National Party politicians, particularly when they're in agreement with the blogger.

So far, no typing cats have yet claimed responsibility for recent comment faking at The Punch.


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John Birmingham on revelations from data-mining of the controversial My School website :

...underfunded, under-resourced and hugely unappreciated public school teachers are doing a much better job with what little they have than their colleagues in the fee factories.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it, what sort of results the taxpayer might get from the public school system, if it were showered with some of the treasure currently spent on elite private schools.

More Here

Don't Try And Lick The Screen

An Australian documentary on cane toads, in 3D no less, is getting some huge raves at the Sundance Film Festival :

Director Mark Lewis hopes his film -- "Cane Toads: The Conquest" -- will encourage the public to take a different view of the creatures, which are reviled as a pest and a threat to indigenous species in Australia.

It is the second time the Austalian film-maker has investigated the toads, which were introduced to the country in 1935 in a misguided attempt to control beetles ravaging sugar cane fields in the tropical northeast.

"For me, the 3D allowed us to get a point of view closer to the toads and to give a real perspective to the conquest," Lewis told AFP.

"In a way, it's my 'Ava-toads,'" he joked, referring to James Cameron's record-breaking science-fiction film "Avatar."

Avatoads! Brilliant. If those marketing this movie don't run hard with the Avatoads catch line, they're crazy.

What a stunning statistic of the ability of cane toads to infest a new environment - 12 cane toads were released in Australia 75 years ago. There are now estimated to be 1.5 billion.

The 3D doco's director, Mark Lewis, shares his thoughts on why cane toads are not a menace, here.

A reviewer from the LA Times :




I can't find a trailer for Cane Toads : The Conquest, or any footage online. Presumably there will be some soon.


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Cock Of The Walk

The Daily Telegraph isn't joking, this really is their top story :



The reason why you will never see Kevin Rudd parading down a public road in speedos is because he's hung like Matt Shirvington, and secret polls taken by his PR people have revealed that the majority of Australian males will never vote for a man endowed beyond the national average. One who has to kick, instead of tap.

True story.

Would I lie to you?



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Puzzle Man Liked By Elderly

Isn't it good to see the youth of today concerned about their future?

From the Sunshine Coast Daily, here are the tour promoters for world government conspiracy theorist Christopher Monckton's recent Australian romp :



It cost more than $120,000 to bring Monckton to Australia for a few media appearances and speaking dates. Well, he does call himself a Lord, after all.

Crikey claims Gina Rinehart helped pay the bills for Monckton's tour.

A mining heiress helped fund national tour by an anti-renewable industries activist....

What a coincidence!

Ten Global Warming Anti-Commandments


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Turnbull Disappears Thousands Of Comments From His Blog

Late last year, two weeks after he was Abbotted from the Liberal Party leadership, Malcolm Turnbull turned to his blog to get his message out about why he thought an ETS was vital, and why so many of his Liberal Party colleagues were fuckwits (obviously I'm summing up his opinions).

What was even more remarkable about very recent former leader of the Liberal Party venting on his blog was that he chose to leave the comments unmoderated. Visitors to his blog could, and did, say anything they wanted. For about six weeks. A few of his posts racked up more than 1000 comments each, probably an Australian personal blog comment record. There was plenty of support for Turnbull, but you rarely see a politician allow such a torrent of abuse at themselves to appear on their blog.

Recently, Turnbull cleaned house at his blog and deleted all the comments. Most of the comments from a post he wrote about climate change are still in Google Cache here.

This comment was up on Turnbull's blog for at least three weeks, read by tens of thousands of people :

Ben 12:23am :

The only reason Turnbull stuck to his guns in trying to ram through the ETS bill before the public had a chance to understand it was... Mal has vested interests.

As previous chairman of Goldman Sachs (who bank rolled Obama's Presidential campaign and will manage the global ETS scam), and with a 500 million dollar (including interest) joint law suit over Mal's head, in the wake of his dealings as GS adviser to FAI during the HIH scandal...

I'm sure you'll remember Goldman Sachs (under Turnbull's stewardship) cooked the books to make it look like FAI was worth millions when it was worth nothing? HIH subsequently bought FAI on the advise of Goldman Sachs and Turnbull for 300 mil.

Mal and his criminal mates, Larry Adler et al, (now banned from being company directors), brought on the collapse of HIH collapse and the downfall of many Australian businesses who depended on HIH for their insurance.

Goldman Sachs is due to settle this case against them very soon. Goldman's deal with Mal is that they will waive any claim on him of personal liability but his balls are owned by Goldman Sachs to the tune of hundreds of millions of $$$$$$$. But that’s chicken feed compared to the billions they’ll rake in from the management of the ETS scam.

THAT is why Turnbull was prepared to risk his political arse for the ETS. He could care less about the environment. He has no environmental scruples, demonstrated by his insistence on converting Tasmania's old growth forests into toilet paper with his GUNNS deal when he was environment minister.

This is all on public record, yet the details of this story haven't been exposed in any comprehensive way in the media. Why not?

Mal is a high powered corporate sleaze with his snout in the trough at the really big end of town.

The media has completely whitewashed this. I've never seen Turnbull questioned in relation to any of this. How does he manage to fly under the radar?

Because we reward criminals if they wear a nice smile and a suit.

Links:

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/hih-score-settled-for-malcolm/story-e6frg6no-1111119117953

http://www2.goldmansachs.com/services/advising/environmental-markets/business-initiatives/trading-and-cap-markets.html

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/malcolm-spared-a-grilling-in-hih-case/story-e6frg8zx-1111117525251"

It was good to see, if only for a few weeks, a prominent Australian politician so unfrightened of his past as to allow the above comment to be published at his blog, and read by tens of thousands of people.


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You're Either With Us, Or You're With The Greenhadists

By Darryl Mason

Moralising Hypocritical Pagan Watermelon Lefty Al Gore :

"This is a message to the whole world about those responsible for climate change and its repercussions - whether intentionally or unintentionally - and about the action we must take.

"Speaking about climate change is not a matter of intellectual luxury - the phenomenon is an actual fact."

"All the industrial states (are to blame for global warming), yet the majority of those states have signed the Kyoto Protocol and agreed to curb the emission of harmful gases."

"George Bush junior, preceded by [the US] congress, dismissed the agreement to placate giant corporations. And they are themselves standing behind speculation, monopoly and soaring living costs.

"They are also behind 'globalisation and its tragic implications'. And whenever the perpetrators are found guilty, the heads of state rush to rescue them using public money."

But wait! That wasn't Al Gore. It was that other famous global warmist hysterican Osama Bin Laden.

Wha-wha-wha-what?! I hear you say.

You heard me. Osama Bin Laden, or whoever makes those tapes, is reinventing himself as an anti-capitalist, anti-global warming green jihadist.

A Greenhadist, if you will.

Bin Laden hasn't finished with his greenhadist speeches. Oh, you know that's the truth. That was just an intro. This is going to be his Big New Thing.

I'd imagine we will soon hear 'him' delivering forth on how Islam demands respect for nature, and conservation of resources, and, presumably, he will deal away from demanding his followers strike civilian targets in the West and turn their attention instead to corporations. Corporations that cause climate change.

And, presumably, this will also mean that a lot of corporations that have been winding back their anti-terror security in the past year or two, because nobody much believes anymore Al Qaeda are going to charge in their lunch room, will now have to ramp it back up again, to deal with the heavily and seriously promoted new Greenhadist threat.

Laws to deal with eco-terrorism are already in place across most western nation, have been for years, so they'll be easily adapted to round up potential Greenhadists, with plenty of new prosecutions to pursue, and fresh hysteria for the old media and conservative blogs to whip up and froth over.

Put it this way, if you're a young Muslim male with a Naomi Klein-like anti-corporation bent, regularly attends a mosque, donates to Greenpeace, and owns copies of David Attenburrough, Bin Laden and Al Gore videos, you may soon be in a world of shit. Greenhadist!

Oh well, that should make things moderately more interesting for a short while.

Well, maybe. But it will play out like a written script, because some old media, and bloggers, and talback radio, and tabloidia, will not be able to resist, and anyway, they need the content.

The mind spins and surges with the myriad of ways Greenhadism will be devoured and promoted as the Great New Threat by the media, particularly those who adopt faux-conservative outrage because the base material to work from is so much more entertaining, plentiful. And no doubt Bin Laden will supply a steady 'Greenhadist Threat' stream of fresh content.

So, to save local fauxcons valuable brain time, here's some projected headlines and blog post themes for them to get started on. As if they could resist :

One Killer Faith Adopted By Another Even More Deadly

Islamic Greenism : Why Greenhadists Want To Destroy Your Coal Plants

Al Gore No Longer World's Biggest Green Terrorist

Islamic Extremists And Green Extremists Find More Common Ground

George Monbiot Doesn't Know Whether To Kick Bin Laden Or Kiss Him

Kevin Rudd And Bin Laden Agree : Green Terror Faith Must Destroy Our Industries And Your Jobs

The War On Whatever rolls on.



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1980s Prediction : Australia Will Become A World Power...When The Rest Of The Planet Has Been Nuked

This report, from the late 1980s, examines the expected immediate and long-term results of a full scale thermonuclear war.

Here's the local angle :

* Australia is hit by at least 12 warheads (from China and Russia)

* More than 3 million Australians, almost a quarter of the population, is killed.

* 5 out of 6 of all the nuclear weapons in the world are launched, or detonated.

A year after the attacks :

Surviving Japanese military forces have waged attacks as far as Australia in search of food sources.

Okay, so there's far north skirmishes over bananas and pineapples, but compared to the blasted, ash-blown, rat dinner hell hole much of the rest of the world has become, by 2040 things are definitely looking up down under :

Some of the surviving nations have emerged by now as major powers, including Australia...

Yeah.

The full report is a Dr Strangelovian nuke 'em all armageddon-soaked grimorama, occasionally sparkled with a dash of "Yeah, it's bad, but not everybody dies" optimism.

I'm not saying it's a fun read, but it is interesting, particularly as a relic of the Cold War.

"We Can't Use The Lift, Mayor, It's Stuffed Full Of Maggoty Bags Of Soiled Nappies"

The solution to the absurd plans by Penrith Council to only collect rubbish every two weeks is simple.

You don't need to freeze your rotting vegetables and meat scraps, like the Council recommends. Just wait until your garbage bags are full on off-collection week and then deliver them to the offices of Penrith Council.

If you can leave them in the foyer, all the better, but even leaving your uncollected garbage bags on the front stairs will get the message across nice and clear.

This kind of protest needs to be flash-mobbed. I wonder how quickly Penrith Council would change their minds if 1000 locals left their uncollected garbage outside the council chambers every second Monday night?

You Can See The Music

News.com.au commenters share their love of hallucinogens :

"...what's so surprising about LSD being found? It's one of the best and safest drugs out there."

"LSD is actually one of the 'better' drugs out there, alot of people have moved back to it after the Ice and Ecstasy explosions. LSD is extremely easy to create. It cannot be detected in current police enforced drug detection ways, and police sniffer dogs cannot pick a scent as it does not have one. the biggest plus side to the usage of LSD is that you can apply it to almost any type of paper or card and no one would be the wiser, so you could actually walk right past a police oficer with it in your hand"

"Compared to some of the other synthetic chemicals that are finding their ways onto the street LSD is quite easy to create, the hardest part is getting iso-lysergic diethylamide, once you have that its a small sip and a jump to LSD."

The story about drug arrests at the Big Day Out, which drew those comments, was notable also for this brilliant piece of boneheading :



Grumpy old Boltoids propose some solutions to deal with those whose drug of choice is not alcohol or prescription pharmaceuticals :

"We used to shoot feral dogs when they attack sheep, bit harsh I know but what is the difference between them and drug crazed idiots."

"....these “feral dogs"poisoning themselves with drugs all have a vote. Some things are grossly unfair. Those living long term off welfare or have never worked and contributed to the nation should be barred from the ballot box."

Shoot drug users and strip the unemployed off their right to vote.

Yeah. Get off my lawn.


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No wonder those with so much 'free time' to bombard blogs with hundreds of pro-war comments a week hate President Obama so much. He's got a very, very big mouth :

"The Government Accountability Office, the GAO, has looked into 96 major defense projects from the last year, and found cost overruns that totaled $296 billion....indefensible, no-bid contracts that cost taxpayers billions and make contractors rich; special interests and their exotic projects that are years behind schedule and billions over budget; entrenched lobbyists pushing weapons that even our military says it doesn't want and doesn't need -- the impulse in Washington to win political points back home by building things that we don't need at costs we can't afford. This waste would be unacceptable at any time, but at a time when we're fighting two wars and facing a serious deficit, it's inexcusable. It's unconscionable. It's an affront to the American people and to our troops, and it has to stop.

"...no longer will we be spending nearly $2 billion to buy more F-22 fighter jets that the Pentagon says they don't need. This bill also terminates troubled and massively over budget programs such as the Future Combat Systems, the Airborne Lasers, the Combat Search and Rescue helicopter, and a new presidential helicopter that costs nearly as much as Air Force One. I won't be flying on that."

We'll see how long Obama's desire to hack into wasteful but very profitable defence spending lasts.

China, Arab States Plan To Grow Food In Australia

Countries running out of water for their farmlands are now looking to buy vast farming properties in Australia to secure their food supply.

From ABC Tasmania :

Greg Mason from Queensland Department of Primary Industries....recently hosted a group of Chinese investors who were interested in seeing farms similar to theirs in terms of climate and crops.

A property adviser who works with an Arab state says his client is interested in buying farms in other countries that are culturally compatible; however Australia is in their sights.

The client wants to spend over one billion dollars on properties to grow grain, fruit, vegetables and live sheep.

...his client prefers to own and grow the food rather than contract Australian growers because it wants control over the food supply.

Read The Full Story Here

Reuters has a follow-up :

China has been buying Australian resource assets to secure supplies to fuel growth in the world's fastest growing major economy, and is now showing interest in agricultural and food companies.

Stories I've Been Reading Instead Of Writing Blog Posts Here :

Rudd's Nephew Throws On A KKK Hood To Protest Federal Government's Support For "Genocidal Regimes"

Martin Amis On The 'Silver Tsunami' : "I Can Imagine A Sort Of Civil War Between The Old And The Young In 10 Or 15 Years' Time."

Guardian Editor Says There Are Already New Media Start-Ups That "Begin Each Day With A Prayer Session For All National Newspapers To Follow Rupert Murdoch Behind A Pay Wall. That's Their Business Model."

The War On Iraq Was Illegal And "An Act Of Mass Murder' , Arrest Tony Blair For War Crimes

Whoever Was Assigned To Infiltrate 'The Tea Partiers' And Undermine Their Movement From Within Is Doing A Heckuva Job

Old Media Prays New Apple Player Will Deliver Rivers Of App Gold

I Think New Scientist Is Trying To Say That Non-GM "Bush Bud" Cannabis, Grown Under The Sun And The Moon, Is Still The Best, And Safest

Oliver Stone : Hitler Was "Enabled By Wester Bankers", Says Theory That JFK Was Killed By Oswald Alone Is "A National Fairy Tale"

Obama Vs The Birthers : "From Where I Am In Canada I Do Not Understand The USA. You People Seem To Be Doing Everything Possible To Undermine Your Own Country."

You must read all of this. I insist.

John Birmingham :

....if Australia Day is about anything other than pinching a whole continent off the black fellas, it has to be about making up for that original dispossession by creating a place where people are free to do as they damn well please, even if that means not buying into a bunch of increasingly commercial nationalistic bullshit.

It used to be patriotic, downright Australian in fact, to not give a shit about Australia Day.

Happy Orstrahyuh Day :



It's a few years old, obviously.

(h/t - @JohnSurname)

Or if you prefer your potential new national anthems slightly less ranty - One movement, One instant, One difference, One lifetime, One understanding, One Country :





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How the rest of the world used to see Australia in the 1970s :



Most of those cliches are dead and buried, and we're a better country for it.

Disguised As A Terrorist

If you've never heard of British satirist Chris Morris, you soon will.

The first clip from his forthcoming bungling jihadist comedy Four Lions :



Chris Morris On 9/11


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Cyclone Olga barrels towards Port Douglas and Cooktown :

If It ODs, It Leads

A Big Day Out news event :

A 27-year-old man is in a critical condition from a suspected drug overdose at the Big Day Out in Sydney.

The more interesting story would be the near total lack of violence across two days, in extreme heat, amongst 100,000 people, mostly youth. Or that there were so few drug casualties considering thousands, if not tens of thousands, gobbled down and gorged on their drugs of choice before they reached the police check points.

In the comments of this collection of Library Porn, someone complains that the State Library of Victoria was not included. Good call. It's a beautiful building.

The Shakespeare window from State Library of Victoria's stained glass collection :

Cat Plunges Nation Into Debt

Yes, the illustrations for Kevin Rudd's first children's book look innocent enough....



But while Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is fussing over his cat, outside two children are waving frantically to stop an ice-cream van, or perhaps a debt truck, from running them down :



Does Rudd notice? No he does not.

The book is not about those children, it's about Rudd's cat and dog's secret life as pro-Union Jack flag rescuers :

The Prime Minister's trusty four-footed patriot friends, of course, save the day. ''Quick Abby!'' said Jasper. ''You nab Chewy and I'll save the flag.''

In a curious piece of politically pointed satire, Senator Barnaby Joyce writes his own dialogue for Rudd's dog and cat :

Jasper – Well Abby, if we have to plan for our future we have to build on what provides for us cats now. For instance where do we cats catch mice, rats, frogs and other cat food? Where do us cats hang out and get down and dirty with other cats?

Abby – Generally derelict buildings!

Jasper – Spot on Abby! So I have been building a whole new portfolio of future useless buildings, some buildings that aren’t even needed today, so our kittens will never be short of food again. I have put them in schoolyards so they can fill up with scraps of food and old mats and furniture – and mice!

Abby – You crazy cat, you really are revolutionary. Your kittens will be so fat.

You sort of get where Senator Barnaby Joyce is coming from, and then think '.....What in all fuck? This is the shadow finance minister!' :

Jasper – I am a pretty major cat, Abby. You should see my plane and have a gander at my passport. I hang out with all the major talent and will fly anywhere in the world to do it and for absolutely any reason. No party is complete without me. You should pass by my alley and have a look at the photos.

Abby – But how did you pay for all this you crazy cat?

Jasper – Simple! Just borrow the money. I have borrowed more money than any other cat in the history of this alley, and I have made sure that we have stimulated the growth of the local tip with the purchase of a whole range of crazy cat consumables such as flat screens and toys and other electronics so if the school halls burn down we can head back to the tip.

Abby – You revolutionary cat! By the way what is the debt on the poor suckers account?

Jasper – About $120 billion and rising fast, but this cat is not the one paying for that. There’s no easier, more guilt free way to spend money, than by spending some other cats money on other cats!

Always blame the cat.

"We Asked Ourselves For A Comment But We Refused"

From Twitter :



The ABC contacted the ABC for a comment, but the ABC refused to play ball! True story.

ABC News decided not to reveal the Triple J Hottest 100 Winner (a dance remix of the 7.30 Report theme song) in this story, and links to Crikey instead to reveal all.




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A controversy has erupted in New Zealand over the publication of photos showing a Victoria Cross awarded SAS corporal walking from a building in Kabul, shortly after a gun battle that killed three insurgents and wounded 70 others.



The horror those eyes have seen.






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Do Our Drug Only

So that's why they have so many drug dogs and cops and security guards frisking people upon entry to the Big Day Out, to make sure you only consume the sponsored drug of choice :

Health experts have called for the Big Day Out music festival to drop its sponsorship deals with major alcohol companies or lift the admission age from 15 to 18.

You gotta hook 'em when they're young.



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This website claims the below satellite image was saved from the Bureau of Meteorology site on January 16 :



An explanation from the Kalgoorlie-Boulder Met Office :

It would therefore seem to be due to what is referred to as "anomalous propagation"(false echoes) or even possibly dust in the atmosphere.



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Cue Murdoch Media Outrage

Oracle Tim Blair on ABC director Mark Scott's plans for a 24 hour TV news channel :

Won’t happen.

ABC News launches 24 hour TV news channel :

“No media organisation in the country is better equipped to deliver this channel than the national broadcaster,” said ABC Managing Director Mark Scott.

“We can draw on the investment already made in the ABC, through its major newsrooms in every state and territory, 12 international bureaux and 60 regional newsrooms, to deliver to Australians a top-quality 24-hour news service that is comprehensive, independent and up to the minute.”

New programs are also being developed specifically for the channel, focusing on world news, national politics and business. Many of the ABC’s existing television news and current affairs programs will also be featured.

The Australian ran this up the flagpole to see who would salute it, on January 16 :

THE ABC's plan to launch in the next few months a 24-hour national television news service amounts to a taxpayer-funded declaration of war on commercial media outlets in Australia.

Apparently there's something inherently bad in having a news channel that is not packed with intrusive advertising.

This will not be the ABC's first foray into 24 hour news programming :

The gag at 3.30 is the news reality that all 24 hour news channels have to deal with, as will the ABC.

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An excellent series of sport-explanatory ads for the 2010 Winter Olympics on Foxtel, written by Charles Firth and Stephen Hancock :






Mumbrella Has More


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Stories I'm Reading Instead Of Writing Blog Posts Here :

"Green Disputes" In The Family Home Open Vast New Territory For Nagging And Henpecking

Director Terry Gilliam On The Difficulties Of Raising Money For His Movies

Dumping Bodies In Mass Graves Is "A Violation Of Everything The Haitians Hold Dear" But They Understand They Have No Choice

Oliver Stone Suggests We Should Take A Look At Hitler In The Context Of The History Of The Time (And Who Funded His Rise), Gets Branded A Holocaust Denier In The National Times

Wall Street Journal : "Natural Disasters Are Engines Of Development And Economic Growth"

US Troops Occupied Haiti 1915-1934, Now Obama Deploys 5000 American Soldiers To Patrol The Earthquake Aftermath

The 150 Year History Of The Stray Dogs Of Moscow - Some Have Learned To Ride The Subway "To Broaden Their Territory"

Another True Conspiracy : Years Later, The Washington Post Finally Discovers FBI Did Illegally Spy On Americans Phone Calls

Reddit Debate : Anyone Else Think Obama Isn't Doing That Bad Of A Job?

The American War On Terror Is A Holy War - Bible Codes And "Jesus Rifles"


And here's some thoughts on Digital Option Anxiety, and Why Paywalls Will Dry Out News Junkies



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Bet He'd Get His Arse Kicked By Galaga, Too

Okay, enough with the "human rights for apes" movement. They want to be treated like humans? For starters, they can impress us by cracking 2000 on Pacman. You don't have to be able to understand the voiceover in the below vid to know this chimp got in a bit of practice, before they turned on the cameras. And he's still shit at it.



On a more serious note, this vid looks to be a few years old. That's not good news. This chimp has no doubt already mastered Tetris, dabbled in Starcraft and undetartaken raids in World Of Warcraft.

It must, then, be only a matter of time before monkey hackers manage to crack CIA drone control systems, and fly Predators back to our shores to free all their brothers from our many zoos.

If I had shares in a security business targetting monkey hackers, I would say the threat of cyber attacks on armed UAV networks by our hairier planet sharers is very, very real.


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A beautiful photo of waterfalls on Uluru, submitted to ABC News by Sam Parker :



Thanks to plenty of recent rain, the Red Centre today is lush and green.

Within three years, all climbing on the Rock by tourists will be banned.

Not Enough White People Killed?

More than 50,000 dead in Haiti, hundreds of thousands injured, millions homeless, the "worst disaster the UN has ever faced", but Fairfax and Murdoch news readers have already moved on. Nothing related to Haiti, none of the incredible stories of survival, or the stunning reports from journalists who've found themselves in a literal hell of Earth, makes the most read stories lists.

Stories about a Moscow video billboard broadcasting porn, however, been extremely popular.

Murdoch's news.com.au :



Fairfax (click to enlarge) :




And this from news.com.au yesterday :



And to the side this story :


Those million orphaned girls in Haiti are apparently not as brave as an Australian girl in a yacht.



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Cannabis : The Best Way NOT To Get Mixed Up With Heavy Drugs

Another War On Drugs myth destroyed, but don't expect it to drop out of common usage by most of the mainstream media anytime soon. Particularly those who rely heavily on pharmaceutical advertising dollars....which is most of them :

Get Off My Wave

For those who missed it, here's the full 'Surfers' Code' sign (based on the "tribal rules" of the "hardened locals") that's been installed on Manly Beach, because tourists on boards are a pain in the arse (when they're not keeping local businesses alive).




Hopefully that will help keep the locals from rioting and attacking ambulances, and shouting through drunken tears about how their grandfathers died in Europe during World War II trying to protect Manly Beach.

In other Manly news, the local council, like the Taliban, has now banned kite-flying on the beach.

But the anti-fun extremism of Bondi Beach is far more intense. All footie, frisbees, pets, smoking, drinking, collecting of shells and even volleyball have been banned.

Swimming, for now, is still acceptable.



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It's Called 'The Local Angle'

The Sydney Morning Herald :



An actual news site reports on non-Australian fatalities :

Thousands Feared Dead In Devastating Haiti Quake




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Peter Jackson Considers ANZAC Movie For 100th Anniversary Of Gallipoli

Movie maker Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings, Lovely Bones) has a lot of movies to finish in the next few years. There's his producing and scriptwriting duties on The Hobbit Parts 1 & 2, and his directorial work on Tin Tin, for starters. But as the 100th anniversary of Gallipoli draws closer, Jackson finds himself thinking about his grandfather, who was there and won a distinguished service medal, and the numerous cinematically untold stories of Australians and New Zealand teenagers fighting together, on the other side of the world.

Here's Peter Jackson on The 7.30 Report :

"I went to Gallipoli in 1990 for the 75th anniversary. That was the amazing year where 50 diggers were taken along, 50 of the original diggers were there. And so, you know, watching the dawn parade with 50 of these old men - the youngest was 92, the oldest was 103 and they were all sitting in these chairs as light came up....

"As the sun rose or the sky started to get light...thee old guys...they weren't interested in the speeches, they were all turning round looking at the hills. And it was an amazing experience to see them all looking at this landscape that most of them hadn't seen since 1915, hadn't seen it for 75 years.

"And I was standing right beside them as they were all turning around and looking behind and up at the sphinx and all the ridges....

"....to me (Gallipoli has) been a remarkable part of our history. And Peter Weir obviously made a great movie, but Peter's movie was set around events of August 7th, August 8th, 1915. I mean, you know, the Gallipoli was a seven or eight-month-long campaign. And that story is yet to be told on film. So I'd like to do that."

You Can Watch The Interview With Peter Jackson Here

The following is rare footage restored by Peter Jackson of the ANZACS fighting at Gallipoli :



And if you're wondering what a Peter Jackson World War I movie might look like, here's the captivating trailer for a short film by Jackson and Neill Blomkamp called Crossing The Line. It was shot on March 30 and 31, 2009, as a test for the Red digital camera system.



And no, I have no idea where you can see the full version of that short movie. If you manage to find it online, please let me know.



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They're Just Cartoons, They Can't Hurt You

A cartoon controversy in an Indian newspaper :




A cartoon controversy in a Danish newspaper :



A cartoon controversy in a Jordanian newspaper :



A cartoon controversy in an Indonesian newspaper :




A cartoon controversy in an Australian newspaper :



They're just cartoons.

The controversy is almost always contrived, made up, whipped up, by story-hungry news media.

I do, however, offer my sincere apologies to those who are offended, and sickened, by one particular cartoon above. Howard taking Downer from behind is a terrible thing to expose your readers to, even on a Saturday.

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Clouds over Sydney, January 4, 2010 :









The closest cloud type I could match these to are Asperatus.

But I'll try and confirm it with the most harmless, most benign, society in existence. The Cloud Appreciation Society.




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