The 'NothingLikeAustralia.net' tourism campaign keeps coming up with reader-submitted Gold :

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"It's The Worst Insult You Can Give A Man!"

They're A Weird Mob

Wombats Listed By Australian Zoos As Only Slightly Less Dangerous Than Lions And Bears

Oh yeah, they're cute, they look cuddly, but given the chance to do so, adult wombats will seriously fuck you up :

A wombat will hoist an intrusive dingo on its back and crush it against the roof of its burrow.

It can skittle a fully grown man as if a 120-litre barrel had bowled him over.

Bruce Kringle fought off a wombat for 20 minutes, suffering numerous bites, before a neighbour killed it with a blow from an axe.

"I Thought I Was A Goner"

Turnbull : Hatred Does More Damage To The Hater Than To The Hated

Former leader of the Australian Liberal Party Malcolm Turnbull announces his resignation as the Federal Member for Wentworth, and posts a poignant farewell to Canberran politics. Excerpts :

The last 5 ½ years have been a wild ride, filled with achievements and disappointments. Losing the leadership was heartbreaking....

I will miss enormously my work as a local MP. Whether it was visiting a school or a play group, a surf club or a church or synagogue, being the local member has always been fun.

My wife, Lucy, and I have always lived in Wentworth and look forward to remaining involved with our community, and to again pursuing new business opportunities, especially with early-stage businesses and new technologies. One of our greatest passions is supporting and promoting Australian technology. For a highly educated developed nation, we derive far too little of our gross domestic product from our own intellectual property.

The dispute about climate change policy and the loss of the leadership was traumatic but I am resolved to leave Parliament without bitterness or resentment. Politics can be a tough and brutal business. We politicians treat each other harshly and the media treats all of us - no doubt deservedly - even more so. It is a rough game and if you lose a battle, as I have done, then you will get hurt. But you don't have to get bitter.So many people in politics find themselves nursing resentments and hatreds for years. Often they may have justification in doing so, but far better to let it go. Hatred does more damage to the hater than to the hated.

Turnbull wanted to, and doggedly tried to, drag the Liberal Party and conservative politics into the 21st century. Obviously they're not ready for all that, just yet. And it will cost the Liberal Party dearly at the 2010 federal election.

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Not a parody.....

Why Rupert Murdoch Loves The iPad

By Darryl Mason

Media readers, like the iPad, will effectively, eventually, shut out the free news competition :

Sweeting says he thinks many of the major media companies would love to see computers discourage people from searching the open Internet for content.

"I think the media companies will leap at this," he says. "It offers them the opportunity to essentially re-create the old business model, wherein they are pushing content to you on their terms rather than you going out and finding content, or a search engine discovering content for you."

Overhead-heavy bloated media corporations, like Murdoch's, who want to "put a tollbooth on the ocean" are betting the house that locked up media readers will save their outdated 20th century business models.

But they seem to be the only ones who believe that there will be enough people willing to pay to make it profitable enough to continue paying corporate media executives like Rupert Murdoch tens of millions of dollars a year.

Media Watch chewed through these issues last night.

Murdoch newspapers like The Australian are already planning to do away with their print versions, at least on a daily basis. It's the only way they can survive. The sums have been done and print must go. Here's The Australian's editor-in-chief Chris Mitchell :

"When you remove the fixed costs in newspapers, they become much more viable. So if you think of a newspaper without paper and ink and petrol and trucks, you're taking out between 60 and 70 per cent of the cost base....

"But I guess my view is that the core of the business is your ability to dream up ideas to create news - the things that we chase each day. "

"Dream up ideas to create news." What a curious thing to say, or to reveal about how the newsrooms of a corporate news empire actually work.

And you thought their job was to simply report the news.

September 17, 2009 : Rupert Murdoch Celebrates Death Of Newspapers : "It's Going To Be Great!"

October 2009 : The Australian Tries To Rally Support For Murdoch's War On Free News Media

Man Vs Wombat

Nature's brutal War On Humans continues :

A man is recovering in hospital after he was mauled by a wombat at Flowerdale, north-east of Melbourne.

Paramedics say the 60-year-old was attacked by the animal as he stepped out of a caravan early this morning. He was bitten on the arms and legs...

The ABC, of course, joins in with a no doubt pro-nature Lefty infiltrated government department to play down the savagery of this animal insurgency :

Jeff McClure from the Department of Sustainability and Environment (DSE) says it is highly unusual for a wombat to attack a person.

Yeah, sure. What is unusual is that yet another unprovoked attack by native fauna has broken through the standard media smokescreen.

"Wombats that are in an advance stage of mange will become very agitated from the suffering and the irritation of the mange," (Mr McClure) said.

He said if they are approached or feel threatened wombats will rush towards someone.

"But it's not known that they will push the attack to where they would physically attack someone."

Stop the lies, Jeff. Tell the truth. The wombats, like the kangaroos, koalas and ring-tailed possums are out to get us. They want to kill us and eat us and suck the marrow from our bones.

There is only one solution. Concrete all the national parks. Do it now. Mother Nature must be taught a devastating lesson.

You're either with us, the humans, or you're with the fluffy and cute, but also heavily fanged razor clawed fauna.

Why do Australian male conservative commentators hate on female politicians when they glam up, but fawn over the perpetually nearly-nude Tony Abbott?

For non-Australian readers, this is Kate Ellis, Federal Minister for Youth & Sport.

The Herald Sun's Andrew Bolt on Ellis : "thick head."

The Daily Telegraph's Tim Blair on Ellis : "She looks like an East German gymnast"

Maybe they prefer their politicians in high heels to look like this instead?

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Get Out Of The Way Boomers, It's Time For Generation X Nostalgia

Pollytics on Twitter :

If you can't listen to Radiators "No Tragedy" and not go wow, then you just ain't living

Agreed!

Pollytics also made note of this excellent YouTube comment attached to the above vid :

Early 80s = Paddle Pops, Dennis Lillee retiring, first tongue pash, nobody singing Oz Crawl lyrics confidently, Orchy bottle bongs....then the Rads. Fucking timeless

Here's The Radiators first single, released in 1979 :

More than 3400 live gigs later (no, that's not a typo), The Radiators are still touring.

April 17 - Blacktown RSL Club

April 23 - Wyong Leagues Club

April 24 - Panthers World of Entertainment

May 7 - Moorebank Sports ClubMoorebank

May 14 - Edgeworth Bowling Club

May 21 - Wests Illawarra, Shellharbour

Opposition leader Tony Abbott is not afraid to tackle the big issues of the day....well, most of the time :

QUESTION : ....The Catholic Church has had a few problems over the past few days with lights being shone on the Pope and now there’s been a link drawn between anti-Semitism and collective blame. Have you anything to say?

TONY ABBOTT: No, look, that’s right outside my field. Thank you so much.

The teaser trailer for the new Australian movie Red Hill, shot in the Victorian high country :

So what's it about? From the SMH :

....the film tells of an escaped convict (Tom E. Lewis from The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith) who wreaks havoc on the isolated town of Red Hill as he seeks payback on the town's sheriff (Steve Bisley). Caught in the middle is a new cop (Ryan Kwanten of True Blood). Red Hill is bloody fun.

No Australian release date yet.

There's Nothing Like...Fake Fakes?

By Darryl Mason

Within just two hours of Tourism Australia's new international "There's Nothing Like Australia" advertising campaign being launched, a parody site with an almost identical web address, was posting mock ads, and scoring the sort of widespread media attention that the original campaign launch sought, but did not get.

Some of the first images on the parody site.

The parody site is now taking suggestions for future slogan and image combinations.

As is the legitimate site.

The cynic in me wonders if, in fact, the real and parody sites are not more connected than it would appear.

After all, what's a major Australian tourism campaign without parodies and mockery? Why let someone else get in first and do something much worse with the slogan than any of the above?

Word got out that Tourism Australia was going to take legal action against the parody site, which bumped up the media coverage of the real and fake campaign sites, before Tourism Australia announced that no legal action was on the cards.

An example of a fake fake ad campaign?

Australian Beaches "Like A Petting Zoo For Great White Sharks"

It blows my mind that anybody is seriously discussing whether or not Robin Williams is being racist in his jabs at Australians :

Robin Williams loves Australia, he's been working and holidaying here for decades, and owned a house up near Palm Beach for years. If you find anything at all offensive, as an Australian, in what Williams had to say, you should have heard him ripping Australia and Australians during his unannounced appearances at Sydney's Harold Park Hotel and The Comedy Store back in the mid-1980s. Now that was some hardcore slagging of Aussies. Brutal, and absolutely hilarious.

Prime minister Kevin Rudd would have been better off correcting Williams and pointing out that Charles Darwin did in fact visit Australia, and his observations of Australian fauna, and flora, played an important role in Darwin's humanity rocking theory of evolution :

While Darwin never saw a kangaroo in Australia, despite riding a horse from Sydney to Bathurst, he did see many other species. Darwin made some very astute observations about Australian animals, especially the platypus. At the time, the platypus was regarded as a curious creature, and it baffled the scientific world. Darwin was the first British scientist to see a platypus in its natural environment, at a creek near Bathurst, in 1836.

For over forty years after his visit, Darwin used and relied upon collections of specimens from Australia that related directly to his 'theoretical concerns at any given time and his recognition of the peculiar status of the continent'.

A Comprehensive Look At Charles Darwin In Australia

UPDATE : An unnecessary apology from Robin Williams, with an offer of friendship :

"Mr Rudd, I apologise. I would like to modify my terminology and use the term `English good old boys' instead.

"I'd love to go to a strip club with you in New York...."

Brilliant!

Bury Your Bananas

Mike O'Neil on the latest attack by a rogue elephant on the New South Wales north coast :

Boulton Close resident Billy Williams woke to the sounds of the 5-tonne beast as it ripped apart his garden and demolished part of a storage shed.

“It was bloody huge,” an animated Billy said. “It just kept ramming the shed where I keep my bananas and beer nuts.

(A Taronga Zoo elephant handler) said any residents with bananas or peanuts in the house should get rid of them straight away by burying them in their neighbours’ yards.

“...these animals are becoming more brazen and roaming built-up areas,” she said.

You have been warned.

(via @MisterShuffles)

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"Journalists Suing Journalists....Is Graceless & Weird"

In follow-up to this post about the downright sad and pathetic legal battle that sees Daily Telegraph blogger Tim Blair suing Crikey bloggers for defamation, here's Blair writing about talkback host Steve Price successfully suing Crikey founder Stephen Mayne for defamation back in 2002 :

"...leaving aside the matter of journalists suing journalists, which is graceless and weird, Price took this action – at a cost to himself of $150,000 – to restore his reputation. But has his reputation been restored? Most journalists I've spoken to today believe the opposite."

Graceless and weird, indeed.

(via @cosmicjester)


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Tim Blair Vs Crikey : Stupid Blog War Now Wasting NSW Supreme Court's Time

By Darryl Mason

Apparently he decided to only go after those he thinks he might actually get money from, if he wins :

(Daily Telegraph associate editor and blogger) Tim Blair is now suing Eric Beecher's Private Media, publisher of the website crikey.com.au, in the NSW Supreme Court for defamation. He is understood to want tens of thousands of dollars because of the damage to his reputation.

Damage to his reputation? I thought his reputation as a journalist was damaged almost beyond repair years before when he and his gormless commenters spent months attacking the character and motivations of an American mother whose young soldier son died in the Iraq War....

More from Sean Nicholls & Jessica Mahar :

....the Diary understands the trouble began when one of Crikey's bloggers noticed that the IP address - or computer identification number - of one of the people commenting on Blair's blog was identical to Blair's own IP address. In effect, the blogger wrote, Blair was so hard up for comments to his blog that he had resorted to writing his own comments, under another name. It sparked almost a year of demands by Blair, through his lawyers, that Crikey atone for what he says is a false accusation. While the blogger published an apology of sorts early in the piece, Blair was unsatisfied because he thought it repeated the alleged defamation. A couple of weeks ago he took the matter to court.

Here's the (now deleted) early March 2009 apology from Crikey's Pure Poison that failed to repair the immeasurable hurt allegedly caused :

Correction and apology to Tim Blair

In a post last night titled “Sockpuppet Worn” it was suggested that enthusiastic Pure Poison critic “WB"....had been making comments from Tim Blair’s private IP adress. The post, now removed from the Crikey site, included speculation on the identity of WB, concluding that it was Blair. Tim denies this flatly, and notes that people in the same house would share an IP. Commenters to the original deleted post had also made that point. We don’t know any more than that WB comments from the same private IP. Our criticisms are reserved for whoever “WB” turns out to be. We unreservedly withdraw any allegation that Tim has been using the “WB” identity, that he had personally used this identity to artificially boost his “hits”, and apologise for any offence caused by the above.

Blair's Law appears to be true, after all.

No typing cats were harmed, immeasurably or otherwise, in the posting of this story.

Journalists Suing Journalist (Or Bloggers Suing Bloggers) Is "Graceless & Weird"

UPDATE : Sorry, all comments are closed on this blog for the moment. I'm guessing you can understand why.

Iraq and Afghanistan war correspondent Paul McGeough poses a question :

Australia is occupied by a foreign power and you join the resistance — where would you draw the line between name-calling and suicide-bombing?

And details his dream newspaper front page headline :

World's Last Arms Manufacturer Closes Plant, Join Former Competitors Aiding Agriculture Projects In Africa

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Coming to Australian cinemas, June 1 :



Air Supply as a key theme song for this "gritty" Australian movie? Really?

I Smoke, And I Vote

Murray Clapham, a director of the Victor Chang Foundation, writing in the Jakarta Post :

''The real argument is here in Indonesia some quite remarkable Indonesian scientists and doctors have discovered that cigarette smoking can, with specially treated cigarettes, significantly assist people's health and has the potential to cut health costs around the globe.'

''One thing we must do is learn from the ancient wisdom and find out how to grow healthy tobacco. Indonesia has made a start and it's a great place to do it. Unfortunately my country (Australia) has almost banned any private initiatives in this area.

''Tobacco is certainly not the key factor in many of the health issues attributed to it; the jury should remain out on that.

''These and other matters are still the subject of investigation. Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water here in Indonesia now. To conclude, let's ban unhealthy cigarettes and promote healthy smoking.

''This will serve many purposes, the pro-smokers can have their cake and eat it without fear, the anti-smokers are likely to have a new cheap readily available healing tool.''

"Healthy smoking." There's two words I don't think I've seen paired together before. At least not in the past few decades anyway. And smoking as a "healing tool"?

Woody Allen's 1973 future-satire Sleeper foresaw this day :

"Here, smoke this. And be sure to get the smoke deep into your lungs."

"I don't smoke"

"It's tobacco. It's one of the healthiest things for your body."