Wednesday, March 17, 2010

From imagery by NASA's Terra and Aqua satellites, twin tropical cyclones over the South Pacific on March 15:


(click to enlarge)

More On The Cyclones From Earth Observatory

The twin cyclones hit the Solomon Islands and Fiji hard. Cyclone Tomas has been hammering Fiji for four days. Dozens of homes were damaged in the Solomon Islands. The death toll is rising in Fiji.

UPDATE : Tourist resorts off the Queensland coast are now being evacuated.



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Two Believers In Old Superstitions Battle For Leadership Of Australia

What in all fuck?
Kevin Rudd has taken on his arch-rival Tony Abbott on a heavenly question - whose saintly namesake is the best?

At a dinner in Brisbane to mark St Patrick's Day, attended by both leaders, the Prime Minister jokingly contrasted his namesake - St Kevin of Glendalough - with Italy's St Anthony.

Mr Abbott (said) "...the PM is trying to be more Queensland and more catholic then he really is."

Sticking to the Irish-Catholic theme, Mr Abbott joked that Archbishop John Bathersby said that Mary Mackillop's second miracle was to bring him as leader of the opposition.

Can you both step into the 21st century, please?

The Full Story Is Here


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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Baby Monkeys Wonder Why They're No Longer The Cutest

If Mr Shuffles dies suddenly, or even worse, gets sick and dies slowly, there will be uncontrolled weeping in the streets of Sydney. And probably a state funeral.

In this downright adorable vid, the elephant calf's mother moves into action, it seems, only when she realises he can't get out on his own, and the elephant on the far right is concerned enough to at least drop his pole, for a while anyway :



Yeah, dunno if a baby elephant taking its first dip qualifies as a "close call". Have they never seen an elephant swim?



Inevitably, Mr Shuffles has a Twitter account. When he's not trying to escape, he is busy lobbying to stop a competition being held by Taronga Zoo and the Daily Telegraph to change his name.

Whatever his new name turns out to be, it won't be as memorable as Mr Shuffles.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tony Abbott is continuing to use the term "All hat and no cowboy" to describe prime minister Kevin Rudd. So I'll repeat what I wrote here on March 8 :
Last night, Abbott also attempted to unleash on prime minister Kevin Rudd.
"It is pretty clear he is a guy who is all announcement and no follow through. He is, to coin a phrase, 'All Hat And No Cowboy'."
Abbott didn't coin the phrase. It's been in common usage in Texas for decades :
"It is not a compliment in West Texas to be referred to as 'All hat and no cowboy'. It is a term of derision used to indicate the person has little real character beneath the very thin veneer of appearance."
It's a good line, but it doesn't sound very Australian.

There is argument that the correct West Texas historical phrase is actually "All Hat, No Cattle", which certainly sounds more local.

Or perhaps Abbott knows this phrase, too, and decided not to use it to attack Rudd, because it has been popularly attached to George W. Bush since the late 1990s.
Abbott will stick to "all hat and no cowboy". He won't allow himself to be seen comparing Rudd to Bush. Ever.

John Howard, his unofficial adviser, wouldn't let him.

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"They Think I'm A Fucking Dickhead! I'm Fucking Not!"

The return of the angry, angry, angry Australian. Warning, this audio clip contains Level 5 Rage & Swears :



He sounds like some supremely unhinged relative of Kenny.

(via @Benjamint)
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Two year old Cohen Stone, from Perth, has achieved international fame the easy way, by crawling inside a lolly machine and getting stuck.



His mother took the photo. She claimed he was upset. Note the little thief is so upset he's trying to pacify himself with lollies. The family walked away with an apology and a $50 voucher.


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Sunday, March 14, 2010

New Zealand : It's There For The Taking

We cannot wait for New Zealand to become a threat to Australia's national security. They vigorously deny pursuing a nuclear weapons program, but information leaked to The Orstrahyun, by various defence industry lobbyists who are worried that a winding down of the War On Terror will result in a reduction in profitable war industry contracts, say that while New Zealand currently does not have nuclear weapons and is not actively trying to pursue a nuclear weapons program, the intent to do so at some future point in time is a possibility, and the dream of New Zealand becoming a dominant nuclear power in the Pacific is more than likely being discussed, if not in an official capacity, then at least between a few people at a pub on a Friday night.

Enough is enough.



UPDATE : Reader Damien points out that, while New Zealand appears vulnerable to invasion, the presence of Corporal Willie Apiata hasn't been taken into consideration :


Photo by Philip Poupin

Invasion cancelled.

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Heart Full Of Hate

Miranda Devine, yesterday :
"....the internet has made it possible for people to express that hate before their better instincts kick in, before the instant rush of blood to the head dissipates and is forgotten. Their primal viciousness is captured and congealed in digital form."
It sure is. Miranda Devine, February 12, 2009 :
If politicians are intent on whipping up a lynch mob to divert attention from their own culpability, it is not arsonists who should be hanging from lamp-posts but greenies.
Miranda Devine, December 2006 :
When commentators describe the deteriorating situation in Iraq as "satisfying" because it gives them an opportunity to score a point against rivals who supported the 2003 invasion, they reveal an addiction to Schadenfreude so profound it has alienated them from moral reality.
When challenged, Devine could not produce one example of any commentator, in Australia or elsewhere, stating they found car bombings in Iraq "satisfying".

And here's Miranda Devine, on the victims of Cyclone Larry, which included mothers who waited in long queues for two or three days in the rain, to get food and clothing for their
infants :
"....as much as we will miss their avocados and bananas on our supermarket shelves, we can live without their whingeing."
Primal viciousness, indeed.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

There's not a lot of tourist attractions around Exmouth Gulf, Western Australia.

But there is a decorated termite mound :


Photo by Eliot Garvin

Friday, March 12, 2010

This radio ad from the UK takes Australia's old "Alert, But Not Alarmed" campaign into disturbing new realms of suburban paranoia and neighbour loathing :



Presumably it will be only a matter of time before we get identical ads here.

Probably closer to the election....
The Daily Telegraph :



Are there really "respected Australian psychics"?

And if so, why doesn't the Daily Telegraph get rid of their journos and employ psychics instead?

Tomorrow's News Today, literally.


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Shot At Overnight Fame Flames Out

Contrary to popular belief, publicist Max Markson cannot sell any old shit to Today Tonight for a suitcase full of cash :





I will keep trying. But I can't say I'm not disappointed.


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Thursday, March 11, 2010

ABC Blinded By "GroupThink" Claims Chairman

ABC chairman Maurice Newman on why he believes the Australia media in general, and to a less defined degree ABC news and current affairs, has been intolerant of climate change doubters. Newman blamed "GroupThink".

Excerpts from an interview on ABC's PM :
"The media hasn't been good at picking these things up and it's really been the question of what is conventional wisdom and consensus rather than listening perhaps to other points of view that may be sceptical.

"And I brought in as well in that vain what's been going on in climate change where there's been clearly a point of view which has been prevailing in the mainstream media, and the fact that again perhaps consensus and conventional wisdom may not always stand us in good stead.

"I think the ABC has probably been more balanced than most in the mainstream media. I think that we've listened to the words of sceptics as well as those who are scientists in the field.

"But climate change is at the moment an emotional issue but it really is the fundamental issue about the need to bring voices that have authority and are relevant to the particular issue to the attention of our audiences so that they themselves can make decisions. So that we are seen to trust and respect them sufficiently that they can make up their own minds about the various points of view that are being expressed through the medium of the ABC.

"....I still have an open mind on climate change, I have an open mind on a whole range of issues because I think that to have a closed mind leaves you in a position where if you take a strong stance you are likely to be wrong-footed.

"I think that what seems fairly clear to me is that the climate science is still being developed. There are a lot question marks about some of the fundamental data which has been used to build models that requires caution."
The Full Interview Is Here

Crikey publisher Eric Beecher :
With just one speech, the ABC’s chairman has returned the national broadcaster to the days of having a politically interventionist board running a culture wars agenda — and he has done it by trashing the editorial independence of some of this country’s finest journalists.


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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

She Finds Your Lack Of Faith In Her Faith Disturbing :





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But What Kind Of Truth Is It?

I'll be talking on ABC radio at 1.30pm (Sydney time) about popularity of 9/11 conspiracies and the American 9/11 Truther movement, which the American mainstream media is currently pumping as a potentially violent extremist group.

This sudden fresh interest by the US media in the 9/11 Truther movement, claimed by the Washington Post in a lead editorial to be "lunatic", follows the branding of the Pentagon shooter as a "Truther", and the announcement by Architects & Engineers For 9/11 Truth, in press conferences around the world, that they had now gathered the signatures of more than 1000 architects, scientists, engineers, pilots, firefighters for a push for a criminal investigation into the 9/11 attacks, and their aftermath.

This short piece in the Washington Times, the only mainstream American media to mention the February 19 press conferences, lays out their key questions and claims.

A common theme raised in online discussions about this apparently more serious group of 9/11 Truthers is : The Bush administration lied about Iraq being responsible for the 9/11 attacks, they lied about Iraq possessing weapons of mass destruction, they lied about torture, so why should the Bush administration official version of the 9/11 attacks not be at least questioned, if not re-investigated?

You can listen in at ABC Online Radio here.

UPDATE : For those who were listening to ABC Newcastle a few minutes ago, here's the links to the key sources I referenced and discussed during the interview :

Washington Post Labels Japanese Politician Part Of "Lunatic Fringe" For Questioning Bush Administration Official Story Of 9/11

The Architects & Engineers For 9/11 Truth

Washington Times Says 9/11 Truth Push For Criminal Investigation Has "Political Implications" For Congress

American Current Affairs Show Disappointed Not To Find Ranting Violent Wackos At 9/11 Truthers Convention
Apparently, deputy prime minister Julia Gillard excites the same sort of weird fantasies amongst middle-aged conservative men as Margaret "You Naughty Boy!" Thatcher once did:
"Has she bent global warmist Tim Flannery over the dispatch box in the middle of Question Time and administered a richly deserved spanking with a dead penguin....?"
I predicted it would be a month or more before Australia's conservative media elite began claiming that Julia Gillard is planning to, or is "set to challenge", prime minister Kevin Rudd for the leadership of the Liberal Party. I was wrong.

It's Already Begun
The Daily Telegraph online, still classy :



Or to put it another way :

4 Out of 5 Modern Women Mostly Trust Their Men With Shared Finances

So how did the Daily Telegraph get that headline and story out the results of a poll that asked :
Do you or do you not "totally trust partner with shared finances"?
Well, you have to consider that the story was written by Joe Hildebrand.

And that the poll cited comes from Westpac's 'Women's Unit' (a PR unit) and the story concludes with the suggestion that partners having separate accounts for business and home finances will lead to less fighting over money issues.

More accounts mean more bank fees, which, coincidentally, now account for the vast majority of Australia's major banks' profits.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Andrew Bolt, the soon-to-be easy listening morning radio host, thinks this is representative of the "predatory gay" :



Even though they're also wearing speedos in a non-beach setting, this is not gay or even remotely homosexual, nor predatory. At all.



The "predatory gays" at least bothered to put on some footwear.

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This brilliant tilt-shift vid by ZebraFive was "constructed from over 9000 stills shot on location around Sydney using a Canon EOS 5D MKII."


Monday, March 08, 2010

Tony Abbott : It's Time For Big Business To Share The Wealth Around

By Darryl Mason

Tony Abbott on paid maternity leave, July 2002 :
"I'm dead against paid maternity leave as a compulsory thing. I think that making businesses pay what seems to them two wages to get one worker are, almost nothing could be more calculated to make businesses feel that the odds are stacked against them."
Tony Abbott, last night on Lateline, stacks the odds :
"If we are gonna have a comprehensive paid parental leave scheme any time soon, the fairest way to do it is for it to be a cost on business, and the fairest way to make it a cost on business is to ask larger businesses, the businesses that have the greatest capacity to pay, the businesses that have suffered least through the global financial crisis, they're the people who can best bear it."
Tony Abbott wants big business to share the wealth around, in particular to single-income families?

Who does he think he is? Obama?
"(Compulsory paid maternity leave) is pro-family, it's pro-child, it's pro-mother, and in the end, it's gonna produce a much stronger economy, because if we look after mothers in the workforce, we'll have more kids, and there is no greater contribution to the future economic strength of Australia than the kids we have now."
Well, kids, and coal.

Tony Abbott wasn't too keen to be reminded of the statements he made back in 2002 by Lateline host Leigh Sales :
TONY ABBOTT: ....I'm fully aware of that quote, Leigh. I have changed my mind.

LEIGH SALES: I'm sure you are. Our viewers ...

TONY ABBOTT: And isn't it a good thing to change your mind as your understanding grows?

LEIGH SALES: That is quite a change of heart.
TONY ABBOTT: Yeah, no, look, I accept that.

LEIGH SALES: So what's brought it about?

TONY ABBOTT: Well, what's brought it about is deeper understanding of the practical difficulties of women who are trying to juggle families and careers. We should not ...

LEIGH SALES: And how have you come to that deeper understanding?

TONY ABBOTT: By, I suppose, being more conscious of the burdens that friends and family members are carrying and of thinking more deeply about the sorts of choices that I would like to be available for my own daughters.
He wants big business to pick up the tab for his daughters' maternity leave.

So what's good for Abbott's children is good for Australia. I wonder if he had elderly relatives who smoked cannabis to relieve arthritis pain and reduce inflammation he would suddenly be backing medicinal marijuana?

Last night, Abbott also attempted to unleash on prime minister Kevin Rudd :
"It is pretty clear he is a guy who is all announcement and no follow through. He is, t coin a phrase, 'All Hat And No Cowboy'."
Abbott didn't coin the phrase. It's been in common usage in Texas for decades :
"It is not a compliment in West Texas to be referred to as 'All hat and no cowboy'. It is a term of derision used to indicate the person has little real character beneath the very thin veneer of appearance."
It's a good line, but it doesn't sound very Australian.

There is argument that the correct West Texas historical phrase is actually "All Hat, No Cattle", which certainly sounds more local.

Or perhaps Abbott knows this phrase, too, and decided not to use it to attack Rudd, because it has been popularly attached to George W. Bush since the late 1990s.


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You may feel sorry for the journalists, but the Fall Of Newspapers is set to claim many victims, least of all obsessive-compulsive newspaper stackerers :


Saturday, March 06, 2010

Welcome To Melbourne


Photo from The Voxel Agents

A roundup of the freak Melbourne storm, from ABC News Melbourne HQ, with the great shot of a journalist reporting on the storms, holding an umbrella, inside a building, due to the amount of water pouring in through the roof.

Holy Fuck!



Chinaapek
details on the above incredible vid of flash flooding in Melbourne earlier today :
I was there having coffee, the sky turned grey within seconds. Withinsecond, hail storm. Within 3 minutes, the street has gone chaos. It was a wave pool and flying branches and bins.
Melbourne's Flinders Street, a few minutes after storm clouds appeared :



Ballistic Freak Hail Storm Slams Melbourne

Now this is 3D :

The storm become curiouser and curiouser for Clemence Harvey, of South Yarra, who was watching the new Alice in Wonderland film with her 13-year-old in a packed theatre at the Jam Factory when water started pouring in front of the screen.

"Water started pouring through the ceiling and a torrent of water was pouring right in front of the screen, then they put a very large bucket down."

And it isn't over yet.

Seriously, how much testing do the weather machines need? They work, okay?

Now they're just showing off.


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Brilliant digital artist Monomauve has 'detooned' Mr Monty Burns.



The Full Ex-ell-ent Image Is Here


Of course Australians have known for years what Mr Burns would look like, detooned :





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Juli-aaaaaahhhhh

By Darryl Mason

Liberal Party activists Alan Jones and Andrew Bolt get started on their campaign to seed division in the federal Labor Party vote, by pushing deputy prime minister Julia Gillard as the person who should leading Labor into the next election.

After all, Kevin Rudd is a one term prime minister, or so goes the new chant, even though polls show nothing like the anger and outrage against Rudd that professional Liberal Party activist-columnists, including Miranda Devine, claim is running wild across the land.

You know what's coming next, don't you? A full-blown campaign from the Friends Of The Liberal Party in the opinion pages of, mostly, the Murdoch media claiming that Gillard "has almost got the numbers" and "is set to challenge for the leadership of the Labor Party."

It's early March now, the election is likely to arrive before late November, so they'll need at least four months to really get those Gillard Vs Rudd rumours flaming up, after they light the first fires of course.

So expect rumours along the lines of "Senior Labor Party officials believe Rudd is dooming the government to one term" and "Gillard knows she can win where Rudd cannot" to start flooding the gruesomely predictable opinion pages of the Herald Sun, the Daily Telegraph and The Australian in a month or so. Paul Sheehan from the Sydney Morning Herald can be relied on to join in the chanting, too.

Murdoch-funded Liberal Party activists like Andrew Bolt want to get started now, he's champing at the bit, but he knows it's still a bit too soon.

First, Glenn Milne has to fill a Sunday Telegraph page with "leaks" from "senior government figures", and then it's on.

Not the federal Labor government leadership challenge, just the column filler that will breed more columns and heated talkback debate. Anything, anything, to avoid devoting all but the most hostile attention to The Greens, who are shaping up to gain control of the Senate.

The 20th century newspapers have to at least try and give the impression that they can still influence the outcome of elections, even if they no longer really believe it themselves.

And it surely must be only a matter of weeks now before some Liberal Party politician embarrasses himself by claiming Kevin Rudd is an "Epic Fail."

Or maybe they're saving that for some of their 'hip' new campaign ads?

March 10 update : And so it begins, earlier than I predicted :
"Jones and I aren't alone among conservatives for falling for a politician whose choice of books now suggests she's readying to take over from the increasingly friendless Kevin Rudd."

"Watch your back Kevin."

"So while we love challenger Gillard now...."
She's already challenging Kevin Rudd for leadership of the Labor Party? Scoop!

And this note of warning :
"I fear this love for La Gillard may well end in tears, like Act 5 of Romeo and Juliet itself."
Julia Gillard will appear one day to be dead, and Australian conservative journalists will commit suicide and then Gillard will wake up from her sleep to find them all dead and then kill herself out of intolerable grief and loss?

And, man, and I thought I had some weird fantasies :
Has (Julia Gillard) bent global warmist Tim Flannery over the dispatch box in the middle of Question Time and administered a richly deserved spanking with a dead penguin....?
Weirdo.
The Sydney Morning Herald headline promises to reveal "The Dark Side" of a missing Australian nuclear scientist.

So what have they got?

His personal website reveals a man with bower-bird interests. These ranged from an obsession with suicide rates in the United States, Japan, Britain and Australia, the writings of Japanese Kamikaze pilots, Quebec's suicide ''hot spot'', ''suicide clubs'', The Complete Manual on Suicide to holocaust scenarios of nuclear attack, chemical poisoning, terrorist attacks and extensive works on the morality of war.

That's a bit thin to label someone having a Dark Side, isn't it? Bit weird, perhaps, but what if most of it is related to his research?

The story of the missing nuclear scientist is strange indeed.

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Friday, March 05, 2010

Weaponised Fruit

As you may have already heard, British prime minister Gordon Brown has a temper of Ruddian proportions. But new reports keep hitting the British media about just how fiery and abusive Brown's temper can be. Even innocent fruit does not escape the Brown wraith.

An excerpt from an article in The Sun :

A factory worker claims that during an official visit to his plant the PM hurled a tangerine into a laminating machine after flying into a rage while on a phone call. He said: "The fruit got stuck in the machine and clogged it.

"It was very embarrassing, we had to stop the tour and he got even more angry. He called the person that gave him the tangerine an idiot."




Robert Popper is responsible for 'TangerineGate'


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Wednesday, March 03, 2010


@Tara_Moss asks
is this the 'Headline Typo Of The Year?' It may be Typo Of The Decade :



However, the story is good news. The Royal Institute For Deaf and Blind Children celebrated its 150th anniversary today. Author Tara Moss joined Therese Rein at the celebrations, which included the unveiling of a video conferencing room at the new library. Video conferencing that will eventually allow hearing impaired kids to talk to the world, and hear all those voices talking back.

Sometimes I want to give the miracle of digital technology a big hug.

The Institute's website is here, where you can also donate.



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Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Fox News = Quality Geography

THR notices Fox News is still struggling with its geographic disability :



It's not the first time Fox News has made such a mistake.

(Via @sreejd and @chaslicc)
Poodle-Kitty spotted in Erskineville :



Monday, March 01, 2010

Northern Territory : Fish Fall From The Sky Twice in 2 Days

Local : "Thank God It Didn't Rain Crocodiles!"



grab from photo by Christine Balmer.

Last Thursday and Friday afternoon, residents of a Northern Territory town saw hundreds of fish fall from the sky. Locals claim the fish were still alive when they hit the ground.

On both days, the rain of fish began around 6pm.

'Newsbreaker' Christine Balmer told the Northern Territory News :

"Locals were picking them up off the footy oval and on the ground everywhere.

"I haven't lost my marbles. Thank god it didn't rain crocodiles."

I would go see that movie. As long as the rain of crocodiles fell over a city.

Lajamanu is the town where the fish fell from the sky. It sits on the edge of a desert, hundreds of kilometres from lakes, or the coast.

Even more bizarrely, rains of fish fell on Lajamanu in 2004, and in 1974.

A weather forecaster told The Northern Territory News that a tornado could have been responsible, but there were none in the area on the days the rain of fish occurred.

Go Here For More

This story is now being picked up by the Drudge Report, Reddit, Digg, thousands of bloggers and the news wires. The Northern Territory News has found its clickbait tale of the year.

And it's a good, more accurate choice by the NTN to use the term 'Newsbreaker' for what other media call a 'Citizen Journalist'.

In other Northern Territory News news, a monkey disguised as a normal everyday cat is running across roads. Points for the headline, though : 'Chimp My Ride.'

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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Give Generously To PeteAid

This says more about the shitty, petty state of Australian politics and some ranks of the political media than it does about Peter Garrett :
Mr Garrett has always struggled with the impossible task of melding mainstream political reality with the strong conservation and human rights views he espoused as lead singer of the Oils.
Glenn Milne is now doing fashion reviews :
A barefoot and dejected Peter Garrett yesterday insisted he would stay on in politics, despite being demoted for his role in the $2.5 billion home insulation fiasco.

The Environment Protection Minister was photographed outside his Randwick home in Sydney, looking miserable and dressed down in tracksuit pants and a grey T-shirt.

Unlike Mr Milne, who presumably, Frank Drebin-like, changes into a more comfortable business suit on a Saturday morning before taking the dog outside to drop a load.

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Pacific Tsunami Hitting New Zealand, Fiji, Tonga, Samoa, New Guinea, Australia




By Darryl Mason

UPDATES OF TSUNAMI REACHING ACROSS ENTIRE PACIFIC BASIN BELOW

(10pm) A massive magnitude 8.8 earthquake has struck off the coast of Central Chile. It's the 7th highest magnitude earthquake ever recorded. A tsunami alert has been issued for Queensland by the Bureau of Meteorology.

Threatened areas extend from Point Danger to Double Island Point :
Possibility of dangerous waves, strong ocean currents and foreshore flooding
for several hours from 08:15 am [EST] Sunday.

Sea level observations HAVE confirmed a tsunami has been generated.

Tsunami waves are more powerful than the same size beach waves, with the first
wave not always the largest. First tsunami effects are expected as follows:

Coolangatta after 08:15 am [EST] Sunday
Maroochydore after 09:00 am [EST] Sunday
Brisbane after 09:15 am [EST] Sunday
And the most important piece of advice :
And probably the most important piece of advice :
Do not go to the coast to watch the tsunami. Check that your
neighbours have
received this advice.
History's largest recorded earthquake, magnitude 9.5, struck Chile in 1960. More than 6000 people died.

The death toll, so far, from today's earthquake off Chile is below 100. That toll is expected to climb, significantly.

UPDATE : Photos, phone videos, news links, eyewitness accounts of the Chile earthquake, and a fast rising panic about the Pacific tsunami are pouring onto Twitter at the rate of a few thousand a minute (at 10.40pm, Sydney time).

Click #Chile and Tsunami to see the Twitter news streams.

The Pacific Tsunami is expected to hit the coasts of the North and South New Zealand islands in about six hours.

UPDATE : Tsunami alerts are scrolling on some Australian TV channels, some appearing during an airing of The Day After Tomorrow, which must be jarring to those who aren't already aware of what's happening.

Tsunami alerts issued for Japan, Alaska, Russia, the east coast of the United States, Indonesia, the Solomon Islands, Fiji, New Guinea....

(10.40) I'll drop the 'update' thing and just keep posting the bits and pieces of news rolling in :

* The entire Pacific Ocean base is now under a tsunami alert.

* The highest tsunami wave (at sea) recorded so far (10:52pm) is 2.2 metres. They tend to get bigger when they reach shallower waters, and coastlines. The waves are expected to roll in for a few hours, but time between each wave can vary from 5 minutes to 60 minutes.

* New Zealand tsunami warnings are dramatic :
"SEA LEVEL READINGS CONFIRM THAT A TSUNAMI HAS BEEN GENERATED WHICH COULD CAUSE WIDESPREAD DAMAGE. AUTHORITIES SHOULD TAKE APPROPRIATE ACTION IN RESPONSE TO THIS THREAT."
* (11.04pm Syd) Evacuations under way on Easter Island, tsunami to hit within an hour.

* Tsunami alerts issued for dozens of countries, even Russia and Antarctica.

(11.20pm Syd) How To Know When The Tsunami Threat Has Passed :
WHEN NO MAJOR WAVES ARE OBSERVED FOR TWO HOURS AFTER THE ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL OR DAMAGING WAVES HAVE NOT OCCURRED FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS THEN LOCAL AUTHORITIES CAN ASSUME THE THREAT IS PASSED. DANGER TO BOATS AND COASTAL STRUCTURES CAN CONTINUE FOR SEVERAL HOURS DUE TO RAPID CURRENTS. AS LOCAL CONDITIONS CAN CAUSE A WIDE VARIATION IN TSUNAMI WAVE ACTION THE ALL CLEAR DETERMINATION MUST BE MADE BY LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

* (11.46pm) CNN reports the Chile earthquake was the biggest to strike anywhere in the world in 100 years. The 8.8 magnitude earthquake has been claimed to have been 1000 times bigger than the quake that struck Haiti.

* (11.50pm) A marine tsunami alert has been issued for New South Wales. :
Threatened areas extend from Broken Bay to Point Danger.

Possibility of dangerous waves, strong ocean currents and foreshore flooding
for several hours from 08:45 am [EDT] Sunday.

Further south from about 8am Sunday for coastal areas from Broken Bay to Gabo
Island, there are likely to be unusual currents and tides during Sunday.

At this stage, those areas, including the coast and bays around Sydney Harbour,
are not considered to be under threat of significant tsunami effects.

* (12.08am) Reuters reports tsunami sirens will be sounded in Hawaii near dawn, "all shores at risk no matter which direction they face." Five metre waves are expected to hit.

* (12.23am) The tsunami wave heading for the east coast of Australia is estimated to be travelling at 800kmh.

* 21 aftershocks have struck Chile, most above magnitude 5, at least seven above magnitude 6.

* Tsunami waves due to hit New Zealand in a few hours are expected to below 1 metre high. Some reports claim evacuations have already begun, others say the perceived threat has been downgraded.

The emergency announcement for the Pacific Tsunami from New Zealand Civil Defence :
1. Stay off beaches
2. Stay out of the water (sea, rivers and estuaries, including boating activities)
3. Do not go sightseeing
4. Share this information with family, neighbours and friends
5. Listen to the radio and/or TV for updates
6. Follow instructions of your local Civil Defence authorities.
* (12.44am) If you're an Australian with relatives in Chile, you can get updates from the Department of Foreign Affairs on hotline : 1800 002 214

* (12.50) CNN via Twitter reports locals claim a 40 metre high (131 foot) wave hit San Fernandez island a few minutes ago. Surely they mean a 4 metre wave?

* (1am) The Pacific Tsunami has begun striking island coastlines near Easter Island. San Fernandez island smashed by huge waves, death toll climbing. Island's capital San Juan Bautista, reports local radio, half destroyed. Partial evacuations now underway on Easter Island.

* (1.10am) Who will the first religious idiot to blame Sydney's Mardi Gras for Australian tsunami damage later today? Hopefully, no-one.

* (1.15am) News from San Fernandez slow to get out. Report that first waves hitting Easter Island are less than a metre high. Some Pacific Tsunami warnings are being downgraded.

* MSNBC airing Chile earthquake twitter reports from an American Idol contestant.

* (1.30am) CNN now running interview with American Idol contestant, Eliot Yamin, showing twoots he wrote during the Chile earthquake. He gives decent eyewitness account of being tossed around his office and then "running for my life" when the massive quake struck.

CNN journalists are now leaving Haiti earthquake destruction to report from Chile earthquake destruction.

* The Pacific Rim Of Fire has been been humming with earthquakes over magnitude 4.5 through the past week (click image to enlarge) :



* (1.30am) California issues alerts, warns coastal cities to prepare for tsunami waves.

* (1.46am) The Joint Australian Tsunami Warning Centre repeating "marine" tsunami expected for New South Wales and Queensland starting at 8am. No major coastal town or city damage expected.

* (2am) A mass nude photo shoot planned for a beach near Weillington this morning has been cancelled due to tsunami alerts. Let's hope that's the worst thing that happens to New Zealand in the next few hours.

* (2.24am) First Pacific Tsunami wave to hit Hawaii in about 45 minutes. Hotels in Maui are being advised to move all guests above the fourth floor. The latest warnings say waves are expected "to wrap around the islands", and the height of tsunamis waves "cannot be predicted."
Honolulu County is issuing urgent warnings for residents to evacuate as roads are about to be closed. Waves as high as four metres are now expected.

* (2.29am) Tsunami alerts issued in Fiji and Tonga warn of incoming waves at least two to three metres high. Police in Samoa have reportedly issued a nationwide evacuation. Terrible.

* (2.33am) Only a few years ago, most tsunamis struck with little or no warning. Tsunami warning centres and monitoring across the Pacific means this time at least many have warnings of what is heading their way, at the speed of a jet. It is likely thousands, if not more, have been saved from the Pacific Tsunami by this warning system. It's been a remarkable and unnerving experience to follow the path of the Pacific Tsunami through Twitter updates and links, Tsunami warning centre alerts and Google Maps these past five hours.

Accurate to almost the minute advance warnings of tsunami wave heights and arrivals were issued 1 - 16 hours before waves hit many Pacific islands, though most in the tsunami's path would have already been in bed when the reports and warnings were issued.

And the earthquakes and aftershocks continue, as the Rim Of Fire grinds, crashes and explodes.


TBC


So That's What You Sound Like

So this is an interview I did with Carol Duncan of ABC Radio Newcastle a couple of Wednesdays ago, about blogging and writing. The interview runs about 20 minutes.

You can listen to it here.

Now you know what my voice sounds like, I suppose I should dive in and record some yelly rants and obnoxiously in-your-face videos.

More later.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Tinfoil Is Causing The Microphone To Feedback

Over the past few weeks, Andrew Bolt on Twitter has been undergoing what can only be described as a rapid descent into utter paranoia. Signs of trouble began a month ago, and have culminated in the past few days with an obsessive focus on the allegedly Pagan Lefty-Infiltrated national broadcaster he is forced to pay for :
"I am weeping tears of patriotism."

"Racism only exists towards oppressed white men like me."

"The ABC took my chair. What next? Are they going to take my pants?"

"There's a black van over the road from my house. The ABC are spying on me! This tinfoil headgear will protect my thoughts."

"Bet you don't know what I'm thinking now, Tony Jones. Kerry O'Brien, go and invade someone else's mind."

"Pulled down office blinds so ABC helicopters can't spy. Turned off lights. Kerry O'Brien has X-ray vision...."

"Protection from thought control is doubled if I wrap my body in tinfoil..."
I tried to explain to him the claims that tinfoil can protect against remote mind surveillance are actually part of the mind control conspiracy, and that tin foil instead helps to focus and increase the power of mind-invading psychotronic weapons.

But he didn't listen.

So naturally, seeing as he's now clad from head to toe in tinfoil, totally beset by conspiracies about Pagan Lefty Warminista Globalist World Government and ranting paranoidly about the ABC, Andrew Bolt On Twitter wins himself an invitation to speak at the Young Liberal Nationals of Queensland convention.




Invitation Accepted


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Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Sounds Of Early Morning Barnaby

Barnaby Joyce conducts a radio interview on the phone while also, fluuuuusssssh, on the toilet. And why not?

Or does he?

Crikey investigates and Barnaby's people reveal it wasn't a toilet flushing, it was instead an early morning garbage truck.

Or was it?

More Here


I sense a Walkley is already being engraved.


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How And When Did Mossad Assassins Get Australian Passports?

By Darryl Mason

From smh.com.au :

Police have 15 more suspects in the assassination of a Hamas leader in Dubai, including three who were allegedly travelling on Australian passports, CNN reported last night.

The network reported police as saying that among the new suspects are six more people who are accused of using British passports in the commission of the crime, four others using Irish passports, two other French passport holders and three people, including a woman, travelling on Australian passports.

The Department of Foreign Affairs was unavailable for comment last night.

Were those Australian passports issued recently, or, more likely, between 1997 and 2002?

From Lateline, April 28, 2005, when Alexander Downer was foreign minister :
HAMISH FITZSIMMONS: Labor says more than 2000 Australian passports went missing between 1997 and 2002 when the Government dropped requirements for them to be sent out by certified mail. The trade in counterfeit identification is big business and in high demand. In the last year police broke up two major fake identity scams in NSW alone. A national identity card to bring uniformity to the identification process which currently differs from state to state has been proposed as an additional way of fighting ID fraud.
The incredible fact that thousands of Australian passports went missing back then was quickly hosed down by the Howard government.

Alexander Downer, April 28, 2005 :
"The fact they've gone missing doesn't mean they've ended up in the hands of crooks who've been using those passports," he said.

"I think you'll find that if there is any passport that has gone missing and the person you send it to hasn't received the passport, the probability is around 100 per cent that they would report that and then you can obviously cancel that passport.

"I mean, it's not a major problem."

Will the Rudd government make as big a deal of all those missing passports now, as they did back in 2005?

UPDATE : News.com.au is running this image on its story about the Australian passports used by Mossad assassins in Dubai :



And names
two other Australian passport holders - Adam Marcus Korman and Bruce Joshua Daniel - as suspects listed by Dubai as part of a "logistical support team" in the assassination of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, a military leader of the Hamas government.

Kevin Rudd on radio earlier today :
"...any state which has been complicit in the abuse of the Australian passport system is treating Australia with contempt."
For now at least, Dubai is claiming the passports are not forgeries.

UPDATE : Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt appears to be still paying off his free trip to Israel last year. Here's how he sums up international reaction to this episode of identity theft and "state sponsored terrorism" (in the words of UK prime minister Gordon Brown) :
"the absurdly confected outrage"
I thought that was the title of his new easy listening radio show.


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Censorship By Matt Drudge

It's hard to believe that Matt Drudge was once regarded as some sort of take-no-prisoners mainstream media troublemaker.

An example follows of Matt Drudge's reaction, and censorship, when confronted with one of the most explosive media scandal stories in years.

A headline on both the Drudge Report website, and the @Drudge_Report Twitter feed :




The actual headline of the Reuters story :



Hmm, a certain name seems to have gone missing...

reposted from Your New Reality


Matt Drudge And Frank Gaffney Share The Bong Of Rampant Paranoia
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

"Mum? When I Grow Up I Want To Pole-Dance For Australia!"

By Darryl Mason



ABC 3, "the free-to-air channel for kids", had an....interesting story on possible future Olympic events during its February 23 afternoon bulletin.

Watch the news bulletin from 4.16.

Transcript excerpts :
"To sport, and there are some pretty weird events in the Olympics. Look at curling in Vancouver right now, a sport you actually play with a broom.

"But what about pole-dancing?"

"....in the old days pole-dancing was pretty much reserved for nightclubs. Pretty seedy nightclubs.

"Is (pole-dancing) any more weird than prancing around with a ribbon or a ball?"
I guess it depends if the winner is decided on points, or tips.

The ABC makes the working lives of conservative columnists too damn easy.



(spotted by @crazybrave)


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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Presenting Friendly NewKev : The 2010 Edition

Australian panel TV shows where comedians allegedly show their razor sharp wit are notoriously scripted and rehearsed.

So how many times did prime minister Kevin Rudd run through the questions he was thrown on Good News Week last night, with his staff? I'd say, at least ten times. Probably a few times with his image handlers as well, just to get the nuances of Friendly NewKev just about right :



Has a laugh track been added to enhance the crowd reaction?

Rudd had to change his public image, he was moving dangerously close in real life to the impersonation by Anthony Ackroyd :



UPDATE : 2UE political correspondent Latika Bourke reports the prime minister's office has confirmed Rudd had plenty of time to rehearse :
"(GNW) producers volunteered the seven comedy quiz questions to the Prime Minister in advance...'
I wonder what would have happened had they changed those questions on the night, without letting Rudd or his people know?

You just don't get that kind of anarchic behaviour in Australian TV comedy anymore.

It's all so safe.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Conroy Weeps With Laughter

Anti-digital censorship activist thingy Anonymous announced a protest against Communications Minister Stephen Conroy's plans to filter internet content, and claimed :
We Are Legion
A Roman Legion :



The Australian Anonymous Legion protesting in Sydney, as photographed by Ry Crozier from ITNews :



Check out Crozier's slide show. It includes the absolute psychological death blow of any protest - when the handful of police that bothered to show up decide to pack it in early and leave you to it.


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A Drive Isn't Funny, With An Empty Tummy

"the cows and the sheep and the birds and the horses were mooing and baah-ing and whistling and neighing....."

It took only someone asking if I remembered the words to an old Kenfucky Tried Chook (that's what we used to it) animated ad, featuring two kids pushing maximum density, for the jingle to shove aside whatever else I was thinking about and begin playing.

Disturbingly, I remembered the words, more than 30 years later, with at least 85% accuracy. No wonder the history lessons of the kings and queens of England didn't find a permanent home in my memory, it was already stuffed full of ad jingles.



It's been a long time since fast food admakers used a couple of dangerously fat children to flog their obesity-linked products. But it sure worked back in the 1970s. At least where I grew up, kids that fat, who could convince dad to pull into a fried chicken dispensary with only minimal moaning, clearly came from wealthy, or wealthier, families. This was aspirational.

The reason why the song entrenched itself so deeply into childhood memories? No doubt it was flogged mercilessly on TV, but the jingle was also issued as a (i think) bright red single and given away at the shops.

Clearly, I wore my copy out.


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Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Sydney Morning Herald belatedly realises that John Pilger is one of Australia's most incisive writers and brilliant orators, and publishes excerpts from his recent speech to students at Sydney Boys High School :
...Australia has changed its Anglo-Irish characteristics for a nation drawn from all corners of the earth, this amazing diversity is celebrated (at this school)....

In congratulating all school leavers, I urge you to remember success in life does not necessarily come from prizes. What is important is the person you are, the kindness you express, the compassion you feel and the courage you show. Go into the world and relinquish the safety of silence and make trouble - remembering that the most important trouble is calling to account those who assume power over our lives.
The Rest Is Here

I wonder if the Herald, or any other Australian mainstream media, will publish Pilger's thoughts on Obama, the aftermath of the War On Iraq, and the rumbling War On Iran?

Probably not.

Friday, February 19, 2010


Thanks to reader Kerry for sending this in :



Tony Abbott explained it is impossible for him to have sex while on the road campaigning.

The 'Related Coverage' side-bar headline :




Dead Horse? I call mine The Lone Ranger.
Piers Akerman Claims The Intellectually Disabled Are "Incapable Of Understanding Plain English"

Daily Telegraph columnist, and ABC Insiders panelist, Piers Akerman plays the 'You're A Retard' card in reply to commenters who keep pointing out what an enormous liar he is :



Piers Akerman's words :
"...you really should read an article before commenting on it. Unless you have an intellectual disability, and are incapable of understanding plain English."
UPDATE : I have contacted the online Daily Telegraph's editor, Kathy Lipari, to find out why she thinks it is appropriate that a Daily Telegraph columnist can claim that intellectually disabled people are "incapable of understanding plain English."

I will update with her response, when, or if, she responds.

Piers Akerman is a guest on ABC's Insiders this Sunday morning. Why does ABC TV think it is appropriate to include as a panelist on Insiders a columnist who smears the intellectually disabled?

Note : The above headline has been rewritten from earlier today.


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Big Kevin, Is He Watching Your Children?

By Darryl Mason

So this is why prime minister Kevin Rudd wanted to get a laptop in front of every school student in Australia :
....the laptops issued to high-school students....have webcams that can be covertly activated by the schools' administrators, who have used this facility to spy on students and even their families.
Don't panic. Yet. This story is about an extremely creepy laptops-for-students program in Philadelphia.

But do the the tens of thousands of laptops being distributed to Australian schools have webcams as standard? And can they be remotely activated?

Students probably already know the lenses can be blinded temporarily, without damage, by taping a small piece of paper over that digital eye.

Just in case.



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