A Dream Given, Then Stolen Away

After years of pathetic whining about when oh when will the Evil Pagan Lefty-Infested ABC finally give a whining Howard-era conservative his own show, Andrew Bolt receives the call he's been waiting so long for :

Just received call from ABC, asking me to produce/host my own show for $20m. Squealed "Yes!".

But life is cruel. So very, very cruel.

They giggled, and then hung up.

Andrew Bolt is taking his obsession with Peter Costello beyond mere infatuation :

"Now I've started photoshopping myself into Costello's wedding photos. How good do I like in white? Very.

"Peter says I would look good with a moustache. Spent 30 mins in front of mirror with various fake moustaches. Looked quite good."

"Peter Costello dropped by for lunch. On the way out he touched me on the small of my back. It was electric."

"I keep finding myself scrawling Mr. Andrew Costello all over my notes. What is wrong with me?"

This is all taking place at Twitter. But why won't Andrew Bolt share his sweet emotions with his blog readers at the Herald Sun? What is he afraid of? People will mock him for confessing his man love for Peter Costello, but I think it's quite touching.

UPDATE : I'm shocked, stunned, shocked and stunned, that I've fallen for a fake Twitter. The Andrew Bolt I've quoted above, mewing like a schoolgirl in love, is apparently not the real Andrew Bolt, AKA The Professional Idiot.

Gary Kemble, the big spoilsport, at ABC Online, reveals all :

Twitter has taken off in Australia in recent weeks, aided by mainstream media focus and the Victorian bushfires, drawing in a whole new audience for enterprising tweeps who snapped up the names of some well-known Aussies.

Following in the footsteps of fake Henry Rollins, fake William Shatner and fake Megan Fox comes fake Andrew Bolt, obsessing over former treasurer Peter Costello.

Sydney Morning Herald columnist Miranda Devine also cops some heat, with her Twitter alter ego detailing a "blazing row" with ABC journo Leigh Sales at an upmarket Sydney eatery.

"Claimed my use of 'holocaust' in today's piece was inapropriate. Offered her my dictionary," the fake Miranda Devine writes.

It's not yet clear if the fake tweeps will be allowed to continue as they are.

Guidelines covering the use of Twitter state: "You may not impersonate others through the Twitter service in a manner that does or is intended to mislead, confuse, or deceive others."

Bummer.

It was fun while it lasted.