"Wheezing, Collapsing Shoppers In Aisle 2, Ron..."

It's like the opening scenes of a zombies-by-plague horror movie :

Thousands of people were evacuated from a major shopping centre on the Gold Coast yesterday after dozens of shoppers and workers were struck down by a mystery illness.

Helensvale's Westfield shopping centre, one of the Gold Coast's biggest, was locked down just three weeks after the city council's main administration centre was brought to its knees in a similar scare.

Yesterday's drama started about 11am when staff at Westfield's Commonwealth Bank branch reported feeling discomfort and difficulty breathing.

The bank was evacuated by 11.30am and 14 staff members were treated with oxygen after reporting symptoms including shortness of breath and dryness in the airways.

Two were taken to hospital suffering respiratory problems.

Emergency services personnel initially thought the scare was limited to just the bank, but as the day progressed more people were struck down.

After treating almost a dozen more people, emergency workers shut down the northern half of the shopping centre about 3pm before issuing a complete lock-down.

Firefighters and QFRS scientific officers conducted regular air quality tests to determine what was affecting the patients and Brisbane's hazardous materials unit was also called in, but late yesterday the cause of the outbreak was still unknown.

Rudd To Australia : Think Long Term, And By The Way, We're Going Down...

Kevin Rudd spells out why Whitey World Domination is coming to an end, with varying degrees of doomosity :

Australia is facing some complex, long-term challenges that go to the heart of the nation's prosperity and security in the changing world of the 21st century. These challenges don't have easy solutions. If we're going to tackle them successfully, we must have thoughtful, robust debate and exchange of ideas.

As we saw at the 2020 Summit in April, Australians are genuinely interested in new ideas for our future. Australians are not much interested in the old battlelines of yesterday's ideological wars. Watching the traditional Right and Left in today's policy debates sometimes reminds you of seeing your kid trying to put on last year's jumper only to realise it no longer fits. The old Right and Left thinking is often an ideological straitjacket.

Well that's just great. I put in an order on Monday for 100 official Proud To Be An Evil Pagan Lefty t-shirts. It might not be too late to change the order to straightjackets.

The solutions to today's challenges on productivity growth, on welfare reform, on indigenous policy, on workforce participation and on climate change won't come out of conventional Right or Left paradigms. The solutions will come from people willing to challenge the false choices of the old paradigms that said that our only options are heavy-handed regulation or unrestrained market forces.

What does Rudd stand for? Boring, but necessary stuff.

Can't he falsely accuse Muslims of destroying Australian culture while he's at it to spice things up a bit and distract us from the fact that millions of Australians got suckered into becoming life-long debt slaves?

No.

The Australian Government sees itself as being at the reforming centre of Australian politics. We believe unapologetically in the power of market forces as the most efficient and effective means of generating economic prosperity. Just as we also believe in the public goods that constitute the pre-conditions for a market economy to perform efficiently and effectively.

We also recognise that markets fail. As a matter of general principle we believe in using market mechanisms and incentives to design innovative approaches to these long-term challenges. We also believe in a compassionate society that endeavours to pick up those who have fallen down, and help them back on to their feet. Not through the episodic acts of private philanthropic endeavour, but through the actions of society through the state. Always, however, with an open mind as to the agency through which a compassionate society should act.

That is why we explicitly reject Hayek's view that society has no obligation to others who are unknown to us and his preparedness to allow fundamental social institutions such as the family to fend entirely for themselves against unrestrained market forces. That is why, for example, we have a different approach to industrial relations, because we believe families need certain fundamental protections in the workplace.

This broadly is the philosophical framework we bring to government: recognising the power of markets but recognising equally the limitations of markets.

The most productive intellectual and policy debates today often lie at the intersection between market failures and market mechanisms. And the challenges of policy innovation and solving complex problems often arise from the nuts-and-bolts questions, such as how we design markets that harness the innovative potential of market incentives that operate transparently with informed and empowered consumers and that are supported by the most appropriate provision of public goods, while intervening where necessary when markets fail.

That is why the Government is building a stronger, fairer, and more secure Australia to help meet the needs of families and to see Australia through.

From the day we came to government, we had to make a choice between two paths for Australia's future. Would we take the easy path of business as usual, hoping that the good times of recent years would just roll on? Or would we take the harder path and take on the big challenges, putting the long-term interests of Australia ahead of short-term politics?

We are determined to take the latter path. We know that will often make things tougher for the Government. But it's why we're here. Not power for its own sake, but to prepare Australia for the challenges of a new century, a century in which the Anglosphere that dominated the past two hundred years is unlikely to remain in ascendant.

NSW Government In Search Of Teenage Spies

The Iemma government continues its privatisation of policing duties. The Liberal opposition is right, this stinks of entrapment :

A team of young government spies will be dispatched across Sydney to "test" whether pubs and clubs are checking IDs before letting punters gamble.

The NSW State Government has called for tenders from research firms to provide a group of 18- and 19-year-olds to be sent to pubs, clubs and Star City Casino in the next six months.

Under the plan, the latest left-field idea from the Iemma government, the group will report the number of times they were asked for identification while gambling across Sydney.

The team, expected to include as many as 15 young adults, will also be deployed to TABs and bookmakers.

Will Australia Cop A Worse Hammering In The 'Economic Tsunami' Than The US?

Capitalism and the free market are great and wonderful things....until it all goes very, very wrong. And who pays for the 'mistakes' of the world's central bankers and the fetid greed of speculators?

Well, not the bank directors and CEOs. They get bonuses....well, they got their bonuses before it all went tits up, didn't they? They always do. The working poor will pay instead, as they always do. And the central bankers will all look you right in the eye and swear they didn't see any of this coming :

The world's financial storm has swept through Australia and New Zealand this week amid mounting signs of contagion across the Pacific region.

Gabriel Stein, from Lombard Street Research, said Australia could prove vulnerable once the global commodity cycle turns down. It has racked up a current account deficit of 6.2pc of GDP despite enjoying a coal, wheat, and metals boom, effectively spending its resources bonanza in advance. Household debt has reached 177pc of GDP, almost a world record.

"It is amazing that in the midst of the biggest commodity boom ever seen they have still been unable to get a current account surplus. They have been living beyond their means for 10 years. What worries me is that productivity growth has been very low: they have coasting after their reforms in the 1990s," he said.

What happened to us all being Relaxed & Comfortable? How could Peter Costello, 'Australia's Greatest Living Treasurer', not have prepared and insulated the nation from this chaos and misery? And how will the Rudd government stop the destruction spreading further?

Australia's Reserve Bank has had to grapple with vast inflows of Asian capital, especially Japanese money fleeing near zero rates at home. Short of imposing currency controls, it would have been almost impossible to stop the inflows.

"The easy money went straight into real estate," said Hans Redeker, currency chief at BNP Paribas.

"Australia will now have to generate 4pc of GDP to meet payments to foreign holders of its assets," he said. This is twice as high as the burden faced by the US.

Both the Australian and New Zealand dollars have fallen hard in recent days and now appear to be breaking down through key technical support against major currencies, including the US dollar. "The Aussie (dollar) is going down, big time," said Mr Redeker.

UPDATE : Writer Mike Whitney - who managed to predict the economic apocalypse now destroying American families and sending double-shift working men and women to the food banks, all back when the Wall Street Journal was still trumpeting 'We're All Rich! Say Yes To Everything! Max Out Another Credit Card!' - explains why the National Australia Bank's massive billion-plus write-downs this week are set to cause further panic on Wall Street :

We are now way beyond sub-prime. NAB says that it is suffering a 55 per cent loss on American housing loans – an event that has never happened in the history of a developed country in recent memory. This is an unprecedented event and means that the cost of bailing out the US financial system is now far beyond the highest estimates. A US recession is now locked in, but more alarmingly, 55 per cent loan losses point to the possibility of a depression.

It means the cost of bailing out housing exposures to the two mortgage insurers will be so great that it will leave no room to bail out anything else and there are several US banks that are now in big trouble. NAB says that the dislocation in the residential market is separate from the corporate market, but the flow on is inevitable." (The Business Spectator,"NAB will shock Wall Street")

The conduits are off-balance sheets operations run by the banks which contain hundreds of billions of dollars of bonds which are now essentially worthless.

So far, many of the banks have not accurately reported the losses from these operations hoping that the housing market will stabilize and the value of the bonds will rebound.

The action taken by the National Australia Bank is a "game-changer"; it's like the Grim Reaper swooping down on Wall Street and lopping-off the top of every big investment bank in downtown Manhattan.

Bizarrely, if the Great Central Bankers Swindle continues, and interest rates do not begin to fall soon, those without mortgage and credit card debt will be regarded as wealthy in comparison to millions of fucked over debt slaves, who really believed the lie that always seems to work at least once in every generation : You Can Have It All, And You Can Have It All Now.

In the words of Johnny Rotten : "Do You Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?"

It's never too soon to start growing some of your own food, in whatever space you have available. You know, just in case.

Married For 65 Years, They Died On The Same Day

When you read or hear stories like this, it's easy to wonder that as you can will yourself to live on, sometimes through horrendous pain and misery and torment, can you also will yourself to die, when you've had enough?

Or when you lose your life-long love, as in this case?

Marie and Frank Cotton studied dentistry together, when she, the shining star of her year at Sydney University, tutored him. They married, raised a family after he returned from war, and set up a dental surgery together. They played tennis and built a court and gardens together.

In later life the Cottons had moved to a retirement village at Baulkham Hills, where they were together until Marie, suffering from Alzheimer's disease, went to a nearby nursing home three years ago. Frank joined her after a heart attack in March.

Determined to stay alive while she clung to life, he recovered enough to care for her. Marie was moved into Frank's room on Sunday night. She died early on Monday. He said he just wanted to grieve, then die.

He had a heart attack a few hours later...

You don't have to be religious to believe that Marie and Frank are together now, somewhere.

Awesome

I knew absolutely nothing about this brilliant Australian short film before I watched it. And that's the best way to see it. So here it is :




'I Love Sarah Jane' was written and directed by Australian movie-maker Spencer Susser, and is playing at film festivals around the world. Plenty of potential for a full length movie here, and a few sequels.

More on 'I Love Sarah Jane' at its MySpace page here.

Rowr!



The big cat of the outer Sydney suburbs has been spotted again

AC/DC : The Musical?



By Darryl Mason

It's hard for any die-hard AC/DC fan not to shudder at this news, from UK's Popbitch,
that a new rock musical is in the works, based on the career and music (obviously) of Australia's most successful and influential hard rock band.

Working title apparently is 'It's A Long Way To The Top' and it is expected to mix some of the true early history of AC/DC with a fictional tale of an AC/DC-like hard rock outfit taking on a new singer, who grew up as a die-hard fan of the band he will now front. Something like that.

Of course, there is a massive audience all over the world for an AC/DC musical, if done right, and presumably Angus and Malcolm Young have been sold on the concept by the awing success of the ABBA-based musical, Mamma Mia, and the millions of Best Of CD sales the musical, and movie of the musical, have been responsible for.

But what AC/DC songs to include in a musical? Whole Lotta Rosie? The Jack? Big Balls?

Actually, plenty of Bon Scott-era songs are extremely theatrical, and perfect for that kind of sing-along retro vibe. Bon was a master showman, and the brothers Young always knew they had to entertain, first of all, to win a following that would stay with them for life. They pretty well achieved that in a way that only a handful of other bands ever have.

It's easy to imagine an AC/DC musical being some hideous train wreck, but in all likelihood it will be a monster success. How many 40 and 50-something blokes out there who haven't willingly seen a musical will be vibed to hear all those excellent old-school AC/DC blasting from a Broadway or West End stage, complete with a chorus line of headbanging Anguses?

You'd imagine there must be a few million at least.

And unlike Mamma Mia, the blokes this time will be the ones dragging their wives and kids to the show, and buying and blasting the soundtrack.

Go Here To Read Darryl Mason's Free Online Novel 'ED Day'

Climate Change : We Believe! We Did It!

This must be the only controversial issue that so many Australians are in such complete agreement on. A mind-bogglingly high level of agreement, and belief :

According to Newspoll, Australians overwhelmingly believe climate change is under way now and that humans are partly or entirely responsible.

When asked if climate change was caused by human activity, 96 per cent said it was entirely or partly caused by human activity; 84 per cent believed climate change was currently occurring.

96%? They must be the highest "We Believe! We Did It!" numbers relating to climate change of any country in the world today.

Yes, The Professional Idiot is correct. Now is the perfect time for the Liberals to come out as die-hard climate change sceptics.

Most Australians Want Carbon Tax, Now

More Chaos Looms For Libs As They Plot Delaying Introduction Of ETS

Some stunning poll results on how Australians feel about the introduction of an emissions trading scheme :

As the Coalition meets in Canberra today to forge a climate change policy that would delay an emissions trading scheme beyond 2010, it will be confronted with evidence that most Australians support the Rudd Government's position.

Brendan Nelson is expected to adopt a policy with his shadow cabinet colleagues that opts to delay an ETS until greenhouse gas giants such as India and China act to cut their emissions.

But the latest Newspoll survey has confirmed widespread public support for an ETS, with 60 per cent of voters backing the adoption of a scheme "regardless of what other countries do".

Another 23 per cent support a scheme if other countries act.

Only 11 per cent of voters oppose an ETS under any circumstances.

I'm surprised at how low real opposition to the carbon tax amongst Australians actually is. You'd think such a controversial, and likely very costly scheme, would be far more divisive, and generally opposed. Apparently not.

Expect failed Melbourne Age 'journalist', former Labor Party advisor and now full-time Liberal Party climate change policy fantasist Andrew Bolt to once again call most Australians a bunch of idiots, or worse, for not subscribing to his anti-progress, Greens = Hitler hysteria and fear-mongering conspiracy theories.

However, it should be entertaining to see Bolt go into an apoplexy of rage that his claims of a Vast Green Pagan Lefty Conspiracy over climate change are simply not getting through to the public, despite him having the highest combined online, newspaper and TV profile of just about any commentator in Australia.

The Professional Idiot is all over Murdoch newspapers and websites, as well as the ABC, but few believe what he shouts through a growing collection of visible ticks, eye-rolling and general head-shaking. Perhaps his message would get through more, and be more influential, if he didn't come across as such a petulant, whiny, fringe-dwelling, hysterical fuckwit.

Those poll numbers are really going to suck the wind out of the Liberals who thought they could knock the shit out of PM Rudd, and in particular climate change minister Penny Wong, over the introduction of a carbon tax, and capitalise on what The Professional Idiot claims is growing scepticism amongst Australians on the reality of man-made climate change.

And Opposition transitional leader, Brendan Nelson, will be utterly smashed by the next Liberal Party leader, Malcolm Turnbull, over those poll numbers on the ETS and climate change in general, and of course, these utterly dire Liberal polling numbers as well :

It also confirms the Government's dominance over the Opposition, with Labor leading the Coalition on a two-party-preferred basis by 57 per cent to 43 per cent.

Kevin Rudd also kept his 50-plus percentage point lead over Dr Nelson as preferred prime minister...

Mr Rudd had 66 per cent support as preferred prime minister compared with Dr Nelson's 14per cent.

And these :

Newspoll shows the Rudd government would trounce a Nelson-led opposition if the election was held today.

Labor's primary vote rose four points from the last poll to 47 per cent - the highest since the election.

Kevin Rudd has a satisfaction rating of 58 per cent, with 66 per cent saying he makes a better PM.

Amazing. Rudd and the Labor government are polling almost better now than they did when they flogged John Howard's then government at last year's election.

But why?

Is Rudd really that popular, or are the Liberals so boondoggled and their message and policies so confused and hard to keep up with that most Australian voters just don't want to know about them anymore?

Exploiting Ozploitation

In follow up to yesterday's rant about the shitty state of the Australian film industry (so much art, so little entertainment and profit), here's a trailer for a new documentary about the glory days of Australian cinema, when we made movies that Australians wanted to see, that people around the world wanted to see, that made buckets of money, and that influenced an entire generation of young film-makers and film freaks, both here and internationally.



I'll come back to the movies glimpsed in this trailer later in the week. I've been waiting for years for an excuse to have a rant about the glorious brutality and excellent craziness of Mad Dog Morgan and Turkey Shoot!

US Intelligence, Scotland Yard Claim "No Bomb" Involved In Qantas Explosion Before Investigation Begins

Qantas Had Bomb Threat Against 747 On July 19



Even before Australian aviation investigators reached Manila, two of the world's biggest intelligence agencies were hitting favoured media sources deny that the explosion that ripped through the floor and the side of a Qantas jet was the work of terrorists.

The UK Telegraph runs big with this :

Sources from Scotland Yard said they did not believe an explosion had caused the damage and attributed the “gigantic hole” to problems with the plane's fusilage.

Flight QF30 was carrying 346 passengers and 19 crew from London to Melbourne when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Manila after it suddenly lost cabin pressure and dropped 20,000 feet.

And ABC News (US) enthusiastically helps in the hosing down process :

US law enforcement and intelligence officials say there is "no sign" that a bomb caused the gaping hole in the fuselage of a Qantas Airlines 747 early today over the Pacific.

"No sign", except for the "gaping hole" of course.



So how did Scotland Yard and "US law enforcement and intelligence officials" know for certain, or were confident enough at least to tell the media, there was no bomb in the baggage hold of this Qantas flight only hours after the explosion occurred, and before any investigation had even begun?

Aviation experts, however, are not so quick to dismiss the possibility of a bomb in the baggage hold, for good reason :

David Learmount, Safety Editor at Flight International Magazine, said: "It's possible there was some kind of explosive device in the suitcases. There's a hole where there shouldn't be."

But he stressed that other possible causes for the damage included physical damage or a corrosive that weakened the hull, making it give way.

He said the hole had exposed some bags in the hold which are usually contained in metal containers. "It's interesting to see them - how else could that be if not an explosion?"

Here's one of the more bizarre explanations for the explosion offered up through the media, the UK Telegraph again : spilled coffee!

UPDATE : Just in case readers of the American ABC News site didn't get the 'No Terror' message, they helped out with this amazing double headline of stated fact, with no attribution :




UPDATE : Only a week ago, more than 300 passengers were evacuated from a Qantas 747 at Los Angeles International Airport after a bomb threat :

...Qantas had been told of the threat by US authorities but declined to comment on the nature of the threat.

FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said agents searched the plane and the luggage for about six hours but found no explosives.

Detectives are now investigating who made the bomb threat.

Australia Joins Long List Of America's "Best Friends"

US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, during her most curious 18 hour stopover in Western Australia :

"There is no better friend to the United States than Australia," Dr Rice said.

Wow, that's pretty impressive. Out of all the countries in the world, of all their trading and war partners, the United States has no better friend in the world than Australia.

If Rice grinning "we have no better friend" sounds familiar, it should :

''We have no better friend than Japan,'' Ms. Rice said at the State Department.

As secretary of state, Ms. Rice has said that the United States had ''no better friend'' than Jordan, Greece, Italy, Australia, Singapore, Britain and....the United Kingdom.

I'm sure Condi Rice really meant it, this time.

Garrett Gives Boring Film Industry Long Overdue Slapping

It's nearly two years since Kenny turned toilet humour into Australian box office gold.

No Australian movie since has come even close to turning the kind of profits Kenny did, though plenty of low budget American teen comedies have.

That Kenny ended up being so profitable for its makers and funders probably has a lot to do with the fact that Kenny was an ultra-independent movie, and the makers worked their arses off to promote it in hundreds of towns all over the country. Kenny was funded by private investors, and the first scenes were shot by with a crew of exactly one. If you want to see one of the best documentaries ever made about how two guys with a great idea turned out an impressively profitable movie, and created a new Australian icon in the process, get the Kenny DVD and watch the extras disc. It should be mandatory viewing for every film student in Australia.

If Kenny had crawled through the creativity-draining development processes that most Australians films (partly or fully) funded by taxpayer dollars have to endure, it would have been nowhere near as raw, and funny, and would have cost three or four million dollars, instead of a few hundred thousand.

Since Kenny, there has been less than 30 new Australian movies released in our cinemas. Most have bombed, lost money and turned even more Australians off trusting Australian movies to deliver the most important thing of all : entertainment.

Arts minister, Peter Garrett, is now supposedly slapping some sense into the rusted-on dregs of the Australian film industry who still believe it is more important for a movie to make a statement than to entertain, or to turn a profit :

Australia's federal arts minister Peter Garrett told the country's filmmakers on Friday that they must shoulder some responsibility for the industry's failings.

Some? If Australia's filmmakers aren't responsible for the lack of interest from many Australians in Australian movies, then who the hell is?

In his first speech to the film biz since he was appointed minister of the new Labor government late last year, Garrett told delegates of the Melbourne Film Festival's marketplace, 37 South, "It is time for the industry to re-examine the way it does business so it can aspire not only to cultural independence but also to new levels of financial independence, too."

Despite state and federal coin at near record highs, as a proportion of all film funding, Australian films are not doing well at home or abroad.

"You will be supported for developing productions that attract strong financial backing and are genuinely appealing to audiences," Garrett said.

"You will be rewarded for writing scripts that excite leading Australian producers, directors, cinematographers and actors to come back to Australia."

The establishment within the Australian film industry that supposedly acts as cinematic gatekeepers of our culture have failed us enormously. What's the point of spending millions making poignant, beautifully crafted movies when most Australians have absolutely no interest in seeing them?

Why do appallingly crap American teen comedies routinely make $4-$10 million at our cinemas? Because they're full of big American movie stars? Bullshit. Kids go to see them because nobody in Australia is making these kinds of movies. That is, teen comedies that teens are interested in actually paying to see at the cinema.

If you need an example of just how blind the old guard of the Australian film industry is to what audiences actually want to see at the cinema, and on DVD, look at the example of the Saw movies.

Two young Australian movie makers came up with the script and trailer for an obviously franchisable, and fairly original, horror movie, which could be made (and was) for a million or less and they were turned down by everybody here. They took Saw to Hollywood and quickly found the money to get the movie made.

The four Saw movies didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide (from cinema, DVD, cable) because they were American movies. The movies were a massive success because they filled a hole in the marketplace. Torture-horror, full of great twists and real tension.

It was a hole that the Australian originators of Saw knew was there, but nobody in the Australian film industry could get their heads around that idea, and so the Australian film industry lost an entire franchise of incredibly profitable horror movies for a fifth of what it cost to turn out yet another miserable film about junkies that nobody wants to endure on a Friday night with their friends.

Movie industry people I've spoken to in the US just can't understand why our industry is doing so very, very badly. We've got the world's best actors, directors, special effects technicians, production designers and costume designers, and most of them have to go overseas to get work. They want to work here, and they will work for scale (or less), but the projects that will win their support and skills don't come along very often.

Seriously, it's fucking embarrassing when American movie producers mock our pissy little output of movies, and their appalling performances at the box office.

"You guys made 15 movies last year? Fifteen whole movies? Lithuania makes more fucking movies than you Aussies do, and they make more money."

Rant over.

Sydney Cops Kill Small Dog, Mace Baby

Freaky. According to this story, cops in street clothes sprayed mace over a mother and four month old baby and pulled guns to blow away a yapping dog caught up in its own lead :

"They shot my dog three times in front of me. They were judge, jury and executioner and it is just not right," Ms Small said.

"I didn't know they were police, they were plainclothes, they just stopped and I was saying I needed a stick and they sprayed stuff and I was asking what are you spraying and my baby was screaming.

"I keep seeing the gun, I keep playing it back in my head.

So just how many undercover police armed with mace and guns are wandering the streets of Sydney's suburbs?

Stating The Obvious

News.com.au :



What else would a professional skeptic be?

Kids Online Before Training Wheels Come Off Bikes

It's going to be very interesting to see how children who learned to use the internet before they could read at even a primary school level will change our society in the coming decades :

Almost one in five children began using the internet...at the age of five or younger.

The same story reveals that government approved internet content filtering is mostly a very expensive bust, that two-thirds of pre-teen children have some level of parental supervision when they're online and that Australian children now spend more time in social networking sites than in chat rooms.

I can't see such high usage of the net by young children as anything other than positive. Look at the all the reading, writing, typing, thinking, required to navigate the net and use social networking sites. The exposure, from such an early age, to a world of information, and opinion, beyond the local or high school library, or the city newspaper and evening news, can only work wonders in the shaping of a more curious, more questioning, less gullible generation. This generation of under-5s on the net will never be conned so easily by government and corporate media lies and spin as the Baby Boomers or even GenXers were.

Best of all, if you can learn to steer clear of weirdos, perverts and fuckwits by the age of 5 online, you're life as an adult will be far less harassed by those who seek to do you harm or rip you off.

I've watched my nephew, barely five years old at the time, whipping through internet sites looking for free games to play at extraordinary speeds. He could soak up all the information he needed to know about the site he'd hit in what seemed like one or two seconds. I would have needed a nap and a strong coffee to process information that fast, and doubt that I could do it at all.

The web, and computers generally, are no big deal to kids whatsoever. They're born into hospitals crowded with them, ride home in cars equipped with them, live surrounded by toys and households filled with them, and learn to use remote controls and DVD players before they even get colours sorted out.

While minor computer geeks closing in on 40, like me, think the reality of a touch screen home computer is pretty wild, most kids you ask would say "Why's it taking so long?"

I still vividly remember my first real exposure to computers. My high school was one of the first, if not the first, non-private schools in Australia to have a row of glowing green screen Apple computers installed in a classroom. Teachers organised raffles to pay for the computers, but I think Apple basically took a loss to get them in our school. It's still vivid in my mind how utterly awed we were to learn that we could type in (lots of) lines of code and make our own Space Invaders game. An early introduction to programming and piracy.

By the time these online under-5s reach high school, they won't be using keyboards anymore and computer code will seem hilariously prehistoric. Even voice-recognition control will be outdated. They won't have the same horrified resistance as us to having GoogleBrain installed via a small implant.

The question then would not be : How young is too young to go online?

The question will be : I don't want my child to be left behind, but is wi-fi-ing my baby while he's still in the womb as safe as everybody says it is?

Labor's Lovetown

An interesting example of Positive Comments Culling on the official ALP web page devoted to global warming. Presumably they're all real, but there is an undeniable flavour of the suspiciously fawning testimonials usually found on Improve Your BrainPower With BrainBooster Scalp Cream type websites. Every single comment appears to support the Rudd government's plans for carbon tax and clean energy, with not a glimpse of criticism :

"I am moved to express my support for the Labor government's position on emissions trading... thank god we finally have a government with the guts and foresight to take the task in hand."

"I continue to feel reassured that our country is taking a better direction in many ways."

"I would also like to see the environmental ministers travel overseas and see what is being done in renewable energy and efficient transportation and car production around the world."

"We cannot sustain the status quo for much longer and, if the children of this world are to have a future, we must be the ones to lead the way."

I think cutting CO2 pollution is fantastic, but those countries that don't do their bit should be penalised. Any imports into Australia from countries not being responsible should attract higher import tariffs or import restrictions. Further, more any major new developments must commit to using renewable energy sources."

"As a blessed country which enjoys a high standard of living, education, freedom, resources and morals, it is incumbent upon us to lead the race to viable and sustainable energy production and consumption. I urge the government to continue the action and the promise demonstrated to date. Good on you."

"Please stay strong in regard to climate change. We expect it to be difficult and we expect it to cost - but it must be done. No special exemptions from carbon trading and no lack of resolve in the face of inevitable opposition from the Opposition."

"I think your push for a greener planet is to be commended!"

"Please make climate change the government's focus, with a concerted program to replace our domestic use of fossil fuel and our dependence on fossil fuel exports with new-era energy sources and systems. The price of fuel is a diversion. Sure it affects 'working families', but not as much as the collapse of our economy will."

They must some of the 3 out of 4 Australians who now support the Rudd government's plans to wind back emissions, and would also appear to support the introduction of the carbon tax.

The Greens won.

Get Pope To Exorcise ABC Of Evil Pagan Lefties

Everyone knows the ABC is anti-religion, particularly when that religion is Catholicism. So during the Pope's visit to Sydney, don't expect those Evil Pagan Lefties at 'Your' ABC to devote more than the absolutely minimal compulsory coverage they can get away with.

Evil Pagan ABC Lefties will do everything they can to sabotage their own coverage of World Youth Day Week. They have to do it. They won't be able to help themselves.

Now, if it was World Muslim Youth Day starring Osama & Obama, touring with the sacred corpse of Saddam Hussein, well, they would make it the all dominating story across all ABC media for an entire week.

EP ABC Ls will only show the Pope if he comes out in support of their Global Warmania Hoax. That won't happen, because the Pope knows God's will acts upon all the tragedies and triumphs of the planet and for the Catholic Church to admit that Man is or can be responsible for more powerful hurricanes, droughts and rising sea levels, killing millions, would mean Man's will has substituted God's. So that's not going to happen, so the lentil fanciers at the ABC won't be interested in what the Pope has to say.

And as sure as Kevin Rudd is only ear-wax polishing the big chair for Julia Gillard (or he will stay put and lose the next election), the solar panel worshippers at 'Your' ABC will not be devoting the first three to eight minutes of the 7pm evening news to speeches by the Pope, interviews with visiting priests or 30 second long grabs of American Catholics singing Jesus love songs on acoustic guitar in Hyde Park for four or five nights in a row.

And they won't dare use endless footage of screaming, near hysterical Catholic youth running wild in our streets, waving the flags of the world, in every TV news break for three days running. They hate seeing young Catholics having the times of their lives, so they won't show them celebrating their love for Jesus. If it was their Green Jesus being celebrated, then of course they'd show it.

Those Evil Pagan Lefties are so anti-religion they won't devote more total TV and radio air time to World Youth Day Week than any other single tourist-based event since the Sydney Olympics.

I know this because I read the comments of conservative Australian blogs, and they're rarely if ever wrong on those Evil Pagan Lefties at 'Your' ABC.

Tough Stance On Licorice Legs

The Liberals are mounting a tough opposition to the introduction of the Carbon Tax (or emissions trading system). They're totally against Australia joining an EU-initiated program to impose a global tax on every kilometre you drive, the food you eat and just about everything you buy that hasn't been grown by a neighbour.

The Federal Opposition has intensified its attack on the Government's emissions trading scheme, warning it has "very big flaws".

Treasury spokesman Malcolm Turnbull went on the offensive today, saying parts of the scheme were absurd, it was too rushed, and the whole country was at risk from the scheme not working out.

So, the Liberals are finally taking a real stand of opposition to one of the most radical plans for a global tax ever devised.

The Government, which could struggle to get the scheme through a hostile senate, is putting pressure on the Liberals to approve the scheme.

But Mr Turnbull was in no mood to be conciliatory today as he spoke out against the Government's proposal.

The Liberals think a carbon tax is wrong, evil, and will destroy the Australian economy and smash tight household budgets to dust. Wow, how exciting it must be for Liberals to finally have a major Labor policy issue that their party leaders are mounting real opposition against.

Mr Turnbull said the Liberals' policy was to move towards emissions trading but to do so "with great care and with great deliberation".

Oh.

Sorry. It appears I've been mistaken. Turns out the Liberals are not opposed to the introduction of a carbon tax after all. They're all for that, of course. Just as John Howard was in his last months in office.

The Liberals aren't ready to oppose something they've clearly been told must be introduced, they just want to fuck around claiming the Rudd government are doing it wrong.


And is this the most curious thing of all? The introduction of a carbon tax for all Australians is the one issue upon which the Liberals, The Greens and Labor all agree.

We must have a Carbon Tax, just like Al Gore says.

Did they all get a divine memo from Green Jesus or something?


How desperate and bizarre it must be to be a decades-dedicated, die-hard Liberal voter, who truly believes that global warming is a New Green Order hoax and thinks Greenism is prettified socialism, that Nelson is a tool, but that Turnbull is even worse.

How galling it must be to them that Peter Garrett, for Menzies sake, is a senior government minister and regularly represents Australia on the world stage.

How shocking it must still be to see Bob Brown being interviewed, taken seriously, shown respect, not just on the ABC, but on the morning, midday and evening news on 9, 7 and 10.

How nauseating it must be for Howard-era Liberals to hear the dirty tree hippie chants and envirolosophy of early 1980s anti-logging and anti-dam protests being repeated by almost the entire front bench of the Liberal opposition every time a microphone turns in their direction.

Who do they turn to for representation now? The Nationals?

Labor might have moved centre and fully adopted (for now) Rudd's promised 'economic conservatism', but the Liberals turned long lines of humiliating backflips to update themselves to modern Australia's Green-soaked belief systems and passion for clean(er) energy.

The Greens are now the real third party of Australian politics.

Bob Brown didn't need to become prime minister to see entire slabs of his environmental conservation and anti-global warming policies become reality.

So popular had long-established Green Party platforms become by 2007 that we witnessed the brain-frying Theatre Of The Absurd that was John Howard's Liberals and Kevin Rudd's Labor actually fighting in public over who loved and cared for the environment more, and who would be best at fighting climate change.

In the shaping of a new pro-environment, clean energy Australia, it wasn't Labor or Liberal ideas that won in the end.

It was The Greens.

They were there first, and they did most of the ground work in re-introducing city-dwelling Australians to the wonders of our rainforests, wetlands and wilderness areas, promoting the theory and suspected consequences of global warming, demanding expansion of solar energy usage and investment in alternative energy sources, while raising the original arguments for why we have to have a carbon tax.

A carbon tax that both Labor and Liberals now fully agree must be introduced, but the details of which are now being squabbled over. Like it will make any difference in the end.

The Greens won.