Banning such sights from Sydney beaches would be downright UnOrstrahyun
By Darryl Mason
They come to our beaches, they sit amongst us, they pretend to enjoy our way of life, but something in our beach culture shocks them, scares them, makes them feel uncomfortable. Do they go back where they came from? No. They Don't. Instead they want to try and ban, and fine, Australians for taking part in a great Australian tradition.
These invaders of our beaches are the Anti-Breastists.
In fact, they are Extremist Anti-Breastists.
They must not be allowed to destroy our Culture and our Way Of Life :
Topless bathing would be banned on mainstream beaches in NSW under a conservative push to reclaim the sand.
Reclaim the sand from...breasts?
Of course, the conservatives ban on topless bathing would only apply to women.
With women increasingly going au natural, conservative powerbrokers from all sides of State Parliament yesterday supported a ban on topless bathing.
Liberal powerbroker David Clarke and Labor MP Paul Gibson yesterday vowed to support a Bill by Reverend Fred Nile that would ban nudity at popular beaches like Bondi, Manly and Coogee. Support from both sides of Parliament increases the Bill's chance if it goes to a conscience vote.
Yes, you did actually read that - a conscience vote on bare breasts on beaches.
"The law should be clear. It must say: 'Exposure of women's breasts on beaches will be prohibited'," Rev Nile said yesterday.
But what about men's breasts, Rev?
Labor MP Paul Gibson said topless women made people feel uncomfortable.
"If you're on the beach do you want somebody with big knockers next to you when you're there with the kids," he said.
How do you feel about kids being confronted by a big fat, flabby pair of hairy man boobs as they emerge from the Bondi surf, Paul?
What about morbidly obese American and British men in budgie smugglers parading our beaches, not caring a twiddle if a bit of exposed chicken skin catches the sun?
Women have been happily sunning their breasts on the beaches of this land for more than 50,000 years and few men, or boys for that matter, have ever seen any reason to complain about it.Australian Conservatives : They just can't stop thinking of ways to make themselves even more unpopular.
Darryl Mason is the author of the free, online novel ED Day : Dead Sydney. You can read it here
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