NOW HE'S STUNK UP 'TRUST', WHAT NEW SONG WILL JOHN HOWARD SING?

Howard desperately needs a new mantra. If he talks about trust again, Australians will get cold shivers.

It's, as always, revolting to see John Howard repeatedly demand recognition for his self-proclaimed economic miracles while rarely acknowledging that economic miracles exist because Australians are adapting to 50 and 60 hour work weeks.

Howard's 2004 ironic campaign line, "Who Do You Trust?" would stink like a festering carcass if he tried to dust it off and use it again in 2007. Even if he tries to disguise the stench with a line about him being a prime minister to "you can rely on".

In 2004, barely half the nation trusted Howard's roundabout promise to "keep interest rates low", or as one television ad declared at "record lows". These same people are now paying hundreds more badly needed dollars every month to meet their mortage, as they watch the value of their home deflate.

It will be a neon-bright sign of how desperate John Howard may become if he has nothing more than his highly touted economic record (highly touted most loudly by himself) and the trust, or realiability, issues left to sell himself yet again to the nation.

When the economy turns heavy and drags, people remember when things were better, and they don't like being reminded of it. Least of all by the prime minister.

Plus, Howard must have had at least one of his 50-plus advisers tell him, "Prime Minister, they don't trust you anymore. You need a new song."

Something about trust, about reliability?

Maybe, 'You've Got A Friend In Uncle John Howard'?

Something like that?

They could make it real catchy, and easy to sing along to.