You get this - RupertJulian :

Via BoingBoing
Australia is a land that represents different things to different people; to some, the land down under is a distant and mysterious place punctuated with visions of kangaroos and coral reefs, while to others, the expansive outback and sharply contrasting city skylines stand out. For those who are truly close to Australia, however, there are scores of ways to think about the country, and the nation’s collective values often make up one of the most important. When newcomers venture to Australia for the first time, they may find national values strange and very different, or fairly familiar, depending on their place of origin. With a strong love of democratic government, a dedication to preserving the country’s unique customs, and a pioneering spirit that has helped to make Australia stand out among even the most populous and powerful countries in the world, Aussies aren’t especially quiet about their values, and immigrants may find the social and moral landscapes daunting at first.Wow.
"There should have been a few subtle hints that this wasn't an 'official' website."Where above do I claim that photo was posted on an 'official' site? Nowhere. I called it the Australian Citizenship Test website, which is what it calls itself. Next :
The URL - Australiantest.com and the Wordpress website which follows, don't exactly scream "Australian Government".Where did I say those websites screamed Australian government? Nowhere. Dan Lewis is hallucinating, hopelessly. If I intended the post to be a criticism of the Australian government, or official immigration policy, I would have tagged the post as such. I tagged it 'online racism' because that's what the post is about. Next :
How could any sensible person reach the conclusion that Mason did?How could any person with half a brain read the above post and conclude I was blaming the Australian government for that appalling website?
You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bn'.
You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.
You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
Hamburger with Beetroot? Of course!
You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of The Angels song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'.
You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someones name the more you like them.
You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in O: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc.
You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, but not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
You 'rock up' for meetings.
Clarence House, the almost 200-year-old London royal residence which doubles as an office for the Prince of Wales and his son, Prince William, demanded the ABC cancel plans to use the controversial comedy group, the Chaser, as royal wedding commentators.This is a letter The Chaser sent to The Queen :They then contacted broadcast suppliers, including the host BBC, Associated Press Television News (APTN), Sky and ITN, to ensure the ABC would have no access to footage if it ignored the request.
Faced with the prospect of airing static for almost four hours tomorrow night, the ABC had no choice but to capitulate.
Dear Australian Head of State,
We would like to place ourselves at your mercy and request a stay of execution for our television program, The Chaser's Royal Wedding Commentary.
We, like Kate, are commoners, and were looking forward to celebrating her wedding to your exalted grandson with a few affectionate observations.
To ensure that our coverage was respectful, we were only planning to use jokes that Prince Phillip has previously made in public, or at least the ones that don't violate racial vilification laws. We've also filmed a joke about hunting grouse which we think you might enjoy.
We Australians are a simple people who don't often get to watch that kind of pomp. The last big wedding we had here was Scott and Charlene on Neighbours. We've asked around, and there are at least six people in this outpost of your empire who would quite like to watch our commentary.
Please consider our plea.
We have the honour to be, Madam, Your Majesty's humble and obedient servants,
Cheers,
The Chaser
PS: How serious are you about treason laws?
Plans to exploit Iraq's oil reserves were discussed by government ministers and the world's largest oil companies the year before Britain took a leading role in invading Iraq, government documents show.Rupert 'Always Wrong On Iraq' Murdoch knew all about the deal making on Iraq's oil future, and could barely keep his trap shut, boasting a month before the war :
Five months before the March 2003 invasion, Baroness Symons, then the Trade Minister, told BP that the Government believed British energy firms should be given a share of Iraq's enormous oil and gas reserves as a reward for Tony Blair's military commitment to US plans for regime change.The papers show that Lady Symons agreed to lobby the Bush administration on BP's behalf because the oil giant feared it was being "locked out" of deals that Washington was quietly striking with US, French and Russian governments and their energy firms.
The Foreign Office invited BP in on 6 November 2002 to talk about opportunities in Iraq "post regime change". Its minutes state: "Iraq is the big oil prospect. BP is desperate to get in there and anxious that political deals should not deny them the opportunity."
The 20-year contracts signed in the wake of the invasion were the largest in the history of the oil industry. They covered half of Iraq's reserves – 60 billion barrels of oil, bought up by companies such as BP and CNPC (China National Petroleum Company), whose joint consortium alone stands to make £403m ($658m) profit per year from the Rumaila field in southern Iraq.
Lady Symons, 59, later took up an advisory post with a UK merchant bank that cashed in on post-war Iraq reconstruction contracts.
"The greatest thing to come out of this for the world economy, if you could put it that way, would be US$20 a barrel for oil. That's bigger than any tax cut in any country."
"We're keeping our heads down, managing the businesses, keeping our profits up. Who knows what the future holds? I have a pretty optimistic medium and long-term view but things are going to be pretty sticky until we get Iraq behind us. But once it's behind us, the whole world will benefit from cheaper oil which will be a bigger stimulus than anything else..."People actually believed that. They really, really did.
An earlier version of this story from the Australian Associated Press incorrectly reported the Prime Minister as saying oil was a reason for Australia's continued military presence in Iraq.He said "energy", but as we all know, "energy" is "oil" when it comes to the Middle East, unless Howard is thinking about cutting natural gas deals with Iran sometime soon.
And here's what the Murdoch media's favourite political whipping post, Greens Leader Bob Brown had to say in that same week, in 2003 :"No criticism is more outrageous than the claim that US behaviour is driven by a wish to take control of Iraq's oil reserves."
This is not Australia's war. This is an oil war. This is the US recognising that, as the economic empire of the age, it needs oil to maintain its pre-eminence.Back then, 76 percent of Australians were opposed to a War On Iraq.
The Scotsman, Scotland - Oil keeps Australia in Iraq
The Independent, UK : Australian troops 'in Iraq because of oil'The BBC : Australians 'are in Iraq for oil'
Turkish Press, Middle East : Oil a factor in Australian role in Iraq: ministerVoice Of America : Australia Says Oil Key Motive for Involvement in Iraq
The Guardian, UK : Oil a factor in Iraq conflict, says Australian MP
Xinhau, China : PM: Australian troops to stay in Iraq for oilAljazeera : Australia admits Iraq war about oil
Forbes : Australia says securing oil supply means no Iraq withdrawalPress TV, Iran : Aussies in Iraq for Oil
Gulf News, United Arab Emirates : Oil 'key factor for Australia's role in Iraq'
Stratfor (key military intel site) : Australia: Oil A Reason For Iraq PresenceAlsumaria, Iraq : Oil supply is an essential factor
Zee Tv, India : Mid-east oil crucial to our future: Australian PM"I went to Gallipoli in 1990 for the 75th anniversary. That was the amazing year where 50 diggers were taken along, 50 of the original diggers were there. And so, you know, watching the dawn parade with 50 of these old men - the youngest was 92, the oldest was 103 and they were all sitting in these chairs as light came up....You Can Watch The Interview With Peter Jackson Here
"As the sun rose or the sky started to get light...thee old guys...they weren't interested in the speeches, they were all turning round looking at the hills. And it was an amazing experience to see them all looking at this landscape that most of them hadn't seen since 1915, hadn't seen it for 75 years.
"And I was standing right beside them as they were all turning around and looking behind and up at the sphinx and all the ridges....
"....to me (Gallipoli has) been a remarkable part of our history. And Peter Weir obviously made a great movie, but Peter's movie was set around events of August 7th, August 8th, 1915. I mean, you know, the Gallipoli was a seven or eight-month-long campaign. And that story is yet to be told on film. So I'd like to do that."
"Let me start by saying I can't remember anything about that specific allegation, but I have never made any secret of the fact that I was one of the many cadets involved in the bastardisation scandal at the Royal Military college Duntroon in 1983.
"In fact I was disciplined for misconduct at the time.Wilkie is, rightly, suspicious of why this near 30 year old incident, if it happened at all, is suddenly headline news, in the midst of his campaign for badly needed reforms of the multi-billion dollar Australian poker machines industry :
"I am obviously regretful of my behaviour of almost 30 years ago when I was a cadet at Duntroon in my early 20s."I think that sort of behaviour at the time was wrong and I regret I was in any way involved in that sort of behaviour.
"I've obviously grown up a lot in the last 30 years and what at the time seemed appropriate, I have learned is clearly inappropriate and nor is it necessary in a place like Duntroon or in the Defence Force Academy.
"If there is anyone in this country who feels aggrieved in any way by anything I've ever said or done to them then I apologise unreservedly."
"There is clearly a campaign that is being waged against me on account of the fact I am the only thing standing between the poker machine industry and the $5 billion that is lost by problem gamblers in this country on poker machines each year.Nor should he. The Hitler card has been played. What's next?"I will not be intimidated by that campaign against me, I will not be cowed in any way."
"...the offensive media fear-mongering..."This was the only time Bolt linked to Australian newspapers he claimed were over-hyping the radioactive threat posed by the rapidly failing Fukushima nuclear plant. He didn't link to anything published in the newspapers he writes for, of course, because that would have proven what a deceitful idiot he is.
"...the media coverage of some papers obsesses instead about trouble at some nuclear reactors..."
The great green scaremongering gets worse.
No, there won’t be a nuclear explosion, “China syndrome” or “another Chernobyl”. The situation today is better than yesterday, and as each day goes by the chances of a big accident lesson. The nuclear fuel remains contained.Isn't it though?
This scaremongering over the crippled Fukushima nuclear complex is extraordinary.
We will need to make some people accountable for this monstrous scaremongering once the truth becomes undeniable
The fear of Fukushima is deadlier than the falloutThese journalists?
Utter madness. The journalists who have whipped this up should be ashamed of themselves.
The wild reporting of Japan’s Fukushima nuclear emergency continues, with lurid claims of radioactive plumes, poisoned milk and more. The fact remains, though, that no one has been killed and probably never will.
no one in the towns around the plant is in any danger whatsoever from the radiation.
...the screaming, braying, lying, hyperventilating, fabricating, panicking media coverage is probably likely to kill you first instead.
It’s time to hold the scaremongers to account.These "scaremongers?"
Why worry only about the reactor that has killed no one?
"It is a knockout blow to the Australian republican movement – a mere shadow of itself compared with the formidable force it once was under the Turnbull-Keating ascendancy – as well as the minuscule United Kingdom, Canadian and New Zealand republican movements.Did they, David? Did they?
That respected voice of progressive politics, The Guardian, has returned to the monarchist fold.
Probably the leading English language quality newspaper of the left, The Guardian has renounced the republican agenda it vigorously endorsed in 2000. The newspaper had even challenged the law in relation to the succession.
The Guardian is the leading intellectual media source for Labour and similar parties in the sixteen realms over which The Queen reigns. This decision will have a considerable effect in these parties and beyond.
It will make it acceptable for ALP politicians to admit that they support the existing constitution. After all a large number of the 72% of Australian electorates which voted No in 1999 were held by the Australian Labor Party.
Some republicans hoped this declaration by The Guardian was just an April Fool’s day joke...
....but there is no evidence of that.No evidence....except for the fact the editorial was published on April 1.
Australian's international competitiveness is under threat because up to eight million Australian workers don't have the reading, writing or numeracy skills to undertake training for trade or professional jobs.And :The nation's 11 Industry Skills Councils will today call for a new campaign to tackle endemic numbers of workers with poor reading and writing skills, launching a report detailing the problems being faced by industry training bodies.
"International studies have shown that over the past two decades, Australia's literacy and numeracy skill levels have stagnated while those of other countries, particularly in the Asia-Pacific region, have improved.More :
Mr Taylor said industry had been complaining about the poor quality of literacy and numeracy among school leavers looking to enter the trades for more than 10 years and there had been no improvement.Prime Minister John Howard left Australia as a nation of coal diggers and fruit pickers, where sports stars are valued more highly than scientists and buying a home is more important than a sound education.
It's the state that's referred to, in other parts of Australia, in hushed tones, because it's so openly racist and repressive. It's run by a state dictator, a kind of Huey Long, named Joh Bjelke-Petersen. His National Party hardly holds any power anywhere else in Australia because they're considered the right-wing lunatic fringe. But at home he's been able to keep in power by outrageous forms of gerrymandering, and is widely rumored to have rigged every election. He has beefed up the police force, and given them carte0blanche to do what they want to keep people from questioning things.Biafra also supplies a state by state roundup of the Australian rock and punk music scene in the first half of the 1980s.
In Australia, there is no constitution and no laws about search and seizure, so the cops can, and do, kick in your door, and smash up your house, if they want. They've been known to break up conversations on the streets involving three or more people, cause they didn't want any assembly on the street. I met many people in Sydney who had fled Brisbane because they were being pulled over and detained for a holf hour or so every day. I met a lot of very warm people there, very radical in the head, but very afraid to talk. I felt safer walking around on the streets of East Berlin than I did in Brisbane.
Brisbane is also where Darren, our drummer, was picked out of a crowd of about 15 white people, and arrested for drinking in public, even though his can of beer was unopened. When Ray, our guitarist, tried to intervene, he was thrown in another police car and taken away. Also, Bjelke-Petersen's people are trying to take away the Aborigine's right to vote and own land, claiming they "haven't gotten that far up the evolutionary scale." And still, his party is kept in office. Some of his cronies, in fact the head of the Chamber of Commerce, wants to enact forced sterilization laws to kill off the Aborigines.
Summing up Brisbane, all I can say is it was the closest thing to a heavy, heavy, junta-style police state I've ever been in. I was looking over my shoulder a lot!