"Sorry? Did You Say You Were Attacked By A Kangaroo?"

As soon as they put up the new signs warning "Beware Unprovoked Attacks By Kangaroos", they will be stolen.

A jogger is in a stable condition in a Melbourne hospital after he was attacked by a kangaroo on the city's north-western fringe.

The man was treated at the scene for a large gash on his head and smaller scratches on his arms, hands and chest and was taken to the Royal Melbourne Hospital in a stable condition.

I was convinced, for years, as a kid that I'd seen a late night movie about millions of kangaroos massing near Orange and then raging through the Blue Mountains and attacking the suburbs of Sydney. They were like a plague, unstoppable, extremely violent.

People were running from their homes and gunning down waves of marauding kangaroos, but they kept on coming. There was one fantastic scene where the kangaroos cross the Harbour Bridge, leaping from car roof to car roof. They crashed through windscreens and anyone who dared to leap from their car and run for it was pummelled to death.

I experienced years of bewildered looks from friends, and movie industry professionals, in my hunt to find this movie. It doesn't exist. The only explanation is that it was a movie dream I had while napping through an episode of Skippy, after too much straight green cordial syrup on ice-cream.