How the rest of the world used to see Australia in the 1970s :



Most of those cliches are dead and buried, and we're a better country for it.

Disguised As A Terrorist

If you've never heard of British satirist Chris Morris, you soon will.

The first clip from his forthcoming bungling jihadist comedy Four Lions :



Chris Morris On 9/11


.

Cyclone Olga barrels towards Port Douglas and Cooktown :

If It ODs, It Leads

A Big Day Out news event :

A 27-year-old man is in a critical condition from a suspected drug overdose at the Big Day Out in Sydney.

The more interesting story would be the near total lack of violence across two days, in extreme heat, amongst 100,000 people, mostly youth. Or that there were so few drug casualties considering thousands, if not tens of thousands, gobbled down and gorged on their drugs of choice before they reached the police check points.

In the comments of this collection of Library Porn, someone complains that the State Library of Victoria was not included. Good call. It's a beautiful building.

The Shakespeare window from State Library of Victoria's stained glass collection :

Cat Plunges Nation Into Debt

Yes, the illustrations for Kevin Rudd's first children's book look innocent enough....



But while Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is fussing over his cat, outside two children are waving frantically to stop an ice-cream van, or perhaps a debt truck, from running them down :



Does Rudd notice? No he does not.

The book is not about those children, it's about Rudd's cat and dog's secret life as pro-Union Jack flag rescuers :

The Prime Minister's trusty four-footed patriot friends, of course, save the day. ''Quick Abby!'' said Jasper. ''You nab Chewy and I'll save the flag.''

In a curious piece of politically pointed satire, Senator Barnaby Joyce writes his own dialogue for Rudd's dog and cat :

Jasper – Well Abby, if we have to plan for our future we have to build on what provides for us cats now. For instance where do we cats catch mice, rats, frogs and other cat food? Where do us cats hang out and get down and dirty with other cats?

Abby – Generally derelict buildings!

Jasper – Spot on Abby! So I have been building a whole new portfolio of future useless buildings, some buildings that aren’t even needed today, so our kittens will never be short of food again. I have put them in schoolyards so they can fill up with scraps of food and old mats and furniture – and mice!

Abby – You crazy cat, you really are revolutionary. Your kittens will be so fat.

You sort of get where Senator Barnaby Joyce is coming from, and then think '.....What in all fuck? This is the shadow finance minister!' :

Jasper – I am a pretty major cat, Abby. You should see my plane and have a gander at my passport. I hang out with all the major talent and will fly anywhere in the world to do it and for absolutely any reason. No party is complete without me. You should pass by my alley and have a look at the photos.

Abby – But how did you pay for all this you crazy cat?

Jasper – Simple! Just borrow the money. I have borrowed more money than any other cat in the history of this alley, and I have made sure that we have stimulated the growth of the local tip with the purchase of a whole range of crazy cat consumables such as flat screens and toys and other electronics so if the school halls burn down we can head back to the tip.

Abby – You revolutionary cat! By the way what is the debt on the poor suckers account?

Jasper – About $120 billion and rising fast, but this cat is not the one paying for that. There’s no easier, more guilt free way to spend money, than by spending some other cats money on other cats!

Always blame the cat.

"We Asked Ourselves For A Comment But We Refused"

From Twitter :



The ABC contacted the ABC for a comment, but the ABC refused to play ball! True story.

ABC News decided not to reveal the Triple J Hottest 100 Winner (a dance remix of the 7.30 Report theme song) in this story, and links to Crikey instead to reveal all.




.

A controversy has erupted in New Zealand over the publication of photos showing a Victoria Cross awarded SAS corporal walking from a building in Kabul, shortly after a gun battle that killed three insurgents and wounded 70 others.



The horror those eyes have seen.






.

Do Our Drug Only

So that's why they have so many drug dogs and cops and security guards frisking people upon entry to the Big Day Out, to make sure you only consume the sponsored drug of choice :

Health experts have called for the Big Day Out music festival to drop its sponsorship deals with major alcohol companies or lift the admission age from 15 to 18.

You gotta hook 'em when they're young.



.

This website claims the below satellite image was saved from the Bureau of Meteorology site on January 16 :



An explanation from the Kalgoorlie-Boulder Met Office :

It would therefore seem to be due to what is referred to as "anomalous propagation"(false echoes) or even possibly dust in the atmosphere.



.

Cue Murdoch Media Outrage

Oracle Tim Blair on ABC director Mark Scott's plans for a 24 hour TV news channel :

Won’t happen.

ABC News launches 24 hour TV news channel :

“No media organisation in the country is better equipped to deliver this channel than the national broadcaster,” said ABC Managing Director Mark Scott.

“We can draw on the investment already made in the ABC, through its major newsrooms in every state and territory, 12 international bureaux and 60 regional newsrooms, to deliver to Australians a top-quality 24-hour news service that is comprehensive, independent and up to the minute.”

New programs are also being developed specifically for the channel, focusing on world news, national politics and business. Many of the ABC’s existing television news and current affairs programs will also be featured.

The Australian ran this up the flagpole to see who would salute it, on January 16 :

THE ABC's plan to launch in the next few months a 24-hour national television news service amounts to a taxpayer-funded declaration of war on commercial media outlets in Australia.

Apparently there's something inherently bad in having a news channel that is not packed with intrusive advertising.

This will not be the ABC's first foray into 24 hour news programming :

The gag at 3.30 is the news reality that all 24 hour news channels have to deal with, as will the ABC.

.

An excellent series of sport-explanatory ads for the 2010 Winter Olympics on Foxtel, written by Charles Firth and Stephen Hancock :






Mumbrella Has More


.

Stories I'm Reading Instead Of Writing Blog Posts Here :

"Green Disputes" In The Family Home Open Vast New Territory For Nagging And Henpecking

Director Terry Gilliam On The Difficulties Of Raising Money For His Movies

Dumping Bodies In Mass Graves Is "A Violation Of Everything The Haitians Hold Dear" But They Understand They Have No Choice

Oliver Stone Suggests We Should Take A Look At Hitler In The Context Of The History Of The Time (And Who Funded His Rise), Gets Branded A Holocaust Denier In The National Times

Wall Street Journal : "Natural Disasters Are Engines Of Development And Economic Growth"

US Troops Occupied Haiti 1915-1934, Now Obama Deploys 5000 American Soldiers To Patrol The Earthquake Aftermath

The 150 Year History Of The Stray Dogs Of Moscow - Some Have Learned To Ride The Subway "To Broaden Their Territory"

Another True Conspiracy : Years Later, The Washington Post Finally Discovers FBI Did Illegally Spy On Americans Phone Calls

Reddit Debate : Anyone Else Think Obama Isn't Doing That Bad Of A Job?

The American War On Terror Is A Holy War - Bible Codes And "Jesus Rifles"


And here's some thoughts on Digital Option Anxiety, and Why Paywalls Will Dry Out News Junkies



.

Bet He'd Get His Arse Kicked By Galaga, Too

Okay, enough with the "human rights for apes" movement. They want to be treated like humans? For starters, they can impress us by cracking 2000 on Pacman. You don't have to be able to understand the voiceover in the below vid to know this chimp got in a bit of practice, before they turned on the cameras. And he's still shit at it.



On a more serious note, this vid looks to be a few years old. That's not good news. This chimp has no doubt already mastered Tetris, dabbled in Starcraft and undetartaken raids in World Of Warcraft.

It must, then, be only a matter of time before monkey hackers manage to crack CIA drone control systems, and fly Predators back to our shores to free all their brothers from our many zoos.

If I had shares in a security business targetting monkey hackers, I would say the threat of cyber attacks on armed UAV networks by our hairier planet sharers is very, very real.


.

A beautiful photo of waterfalls on Uluru, submitted to ABC News by Sam Parker :



Thanks to plenty of recent rain, the Red Centre today is lush and green.

Within three years, all climbing on the Rock by tourists will be banned.

Not Enough White People Killed?

More than 50,000 dead in Haiti, hundreds of thousands injured, millions homeless, the "worst disaster the UN has ever faced", but Fairfax and Murdoch news readers have already moved on. Nothing related to Haiti, none of the incredible stories of survival, or the stunning reports from journalists who've found themselves in a literal hell of Earth, makes the most read stories lists.

Stories about a Moscow video billboard broadcasting porn, however, been extremely popular.

Murdoch's news.com.au :



Fairfax (click to enlarge) :




And this from news.com.au yesterday :



And to the side this story :


Those million orphaned girls in Haiti are apparently not as brave as an Australian girl in a yacht.



.

Cannabis : The Best Way NOT To Get Mixed Up With Heavy Drugs

Another War On Drugs myth destroyed, but don't expect it to drop out of common usage by most of the mainstream media anytime soon. Particularly those who rely heavily on pharmaceutical advertising dollars....which is most of them :

Get Off My Wave

For those who missed it, here's the full 'Surfers' Code' sign (based on the "tribal rules" of the "hardened locals") that's been installed on Manly Beach, because tourists on boards are a pain in the arse (when they're not keeping local businesses alive).




Hopefully that will help keep the locals from rioting and attacking ambulances, and shouting through drunken tears about how their grandfathers died in Europe during World War II trying to protect Manly Beach.

In other Manly news, the local council, like the Taliban, has now banned kite-flying on the beach.

But the anti-fun extremism of Bondi Beach is far more intense. All footie, frisbees, pets, smoking, drinking, collecting of shells and even volleyball have been banned.

Swimming, for now, is still acceptable.



.

It's Called 'The Local Angle'

The Sydney Morning Herald :



An actual news site reports on non-Australian fatalities :

Thousands Feared Dead In Devastating Haiti Quake




.

Peter Jackson Considers ANZAC Movie For 100th Anniversary Of Gallipoli

Movie maker Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings, Lovely Bones) has a lot of movies to finish in the next few years. There's his producing and scriptwriting duties on The Hobbit Parts 1 & 2, and his directorial work on Tin Tin, for starters. But as the 100th anniversary of Gallipoli draws closer, Jackson finds himself thinking about his grandfather, who was there and won a distinguished service medal, and the numerous cinematically untold stories of Australians and New Zealand teenagers fighting together, on the other side of the world.

Here's Peter Jackson on The 7.30 Report :

"I went to Gallipoli in 1990 for the 75th anniversary. That was the amazing year where 50 diggers were taken along, 50 of the original diggers were there. And so, you know, watching the dawn parade with 50 of these old men - the youngest was 92, the oldest was 103 and they were all sitting in these chairs as light came up....

"As the sun rose or the sky started to get light...thee old guys...they weren't interested in the speeches, they were all turning round looking at the hills. And it was an amazing experience to see them all looking at this landscape that most of them hadn't seen since 1915, hadn't seen it for 75 years.

"And I was standing right beside them as they were all turning around and looking behind and up at the sphinx and all the ridges....

"....to me (Gallipoli has) been a remarkable part of our history. And Peter Weir obviously made a great movie, but Peter's movie was set around events of August 7th, August 8th, 1915. I mean, you know, the Gallipoli was a seven or eight-month-long campaign. And that story is yet to be told on film. So I'd like to do that."

You Can Watch The Interview With Peter Jackson Here

The following is rare footage restored by Peter Jackson of the ANZACS fighting at Gallipoli :



And if you're wondering what a Peter Jackson World War I movie might look like, here's the captivating trailer for a short film by Jackson and Neill Blomkamp called Crossing The Line. It was shot on March 30 and 31, 2009, as a test for the Red digital camera system.



And no, I have no idea where you can see the full version of that short movie. If you manage to find it online, please let me know.



.