Friday, February 27, 2009

Murdoch Media Spreads More Eco-Alarmism : The Great Human Cull Is Coming, You're All Doomed! Doomed I Say!

Rupert Murdoch's worldwide media empire continues to be the most powerful, most influential distributor of climate change related hysteria, following Murdoch's June, 2007 announcement that "climate change poses clear, catastrophic threats".

Today we learn, at News.com.au, that up to 90% of the world's population will be wiped out by extreme climate change by 2100 :

Alligators bask off the English coast, the Sahara desert stretches into Europe and 10 per cent of humans are left.

Science fiction?

No, this is the doomsday prediction if global temperatures make a predicted rise of 4C in the next 100 years. Some fear it could happen by 2050.

Vast numbers would have to migrate away from the equator and towards the poles.

National borders would have to be knocked down and humans would become mostly vegetarian with most animals being eaten to extinction.

Fish numbers would drop dramatically as acid levels rose in oceans.

People would live in high-rise cities to preserve fertile lands for food, and scientists suggest energy could be supplied by a giant solar belt running across North Africa, the Middle East and the southern US.

The number of humans could drop to a billion or fewer.
So will The Herald Sun's Andrew "Global Warming Has Stopped" Bolt and The Daily Telegraph's Tim "Global Warming Is Utterly Bogus" Blair finally admit the truth? That the media company that pays them to mock climate change alarmists is in fact Climate Doom Central?

Or will they do their usual trick of just linking to similar reports in The Age or Sydney Morning Herald when they attack these latest "You're All Doomed!" claims, completely ignoring the fact their boss and media company are spreading more eco-fear-mongery than Al Gore could ever dream of?

UPDATE : Andrew Bolt, examplifying exactly why I've been calling him The Professional Idiot for two years, jumps on this latest example of "eco-porn" :
Hands up anyone who seriously believes this scenario - given serious treatment by a newspaper - is remotely likely within 100, let alone 50, years...
A newspaper? Well, no, News.com.au is not a newspaper, it's an internet news portal, and it's part of the parent company of the newspaper this shameless liar works for.

Of course he knows this, he links to the news.com.au story, but he knows most of his readers will never click to read the full story and thus will not learn that the corporation that pays The Professional Idiot is responsible for helping to spread the exact same kind of "eco-porn" he continually claims he is denouncing.

Will Tim "Burn The Tress" Blair rise to the bait? Not yet.

Watch this space....

Shit Guilt

It's bad enough they're constantly on our backs about enjoying quoll fillets, coal bonfires, baby koala tennis and blue whale burgers, but now Greenpeace have simply gone too damn far.





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Thursday, February 26, 2009

When A Nuking Is Preferable...

CarlosLabs have an interesting Google Maps toy.
Enter the name of your closest city, choose from a variety of kilotons for a nuking, hit the nuke it button, and find out whether you'd die from vaporisation, flaming flesh or radiation cancer.

Here's what survives around Sydney after a 340kiloton nuking :



This is damage impact zone if a (Dinosaur age ending) asteroid smashed into Australia, with Sydney as ground zero :

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

"You Will Let Me Know When Those Carrots Stop Screaming, Won't You Clarice?"


A plate of mixed murder victims from my garden.

By Darryl Mason

The Good Weekend's Food & Wine Issue last Saturday (not online) dipped into 'Fruitarianism', which I always thought was a joke food-consumption preference, going one better than veganism, that is you eat only lots of fruit, and steer away from vegetables that have been torn cruelly from the ground, against their will.

But Fruitarianism, according to the Good Weekend, is real enough, even though I was convinced it was invented by Monty Python for a TV skit they probably never actually did. Key quote from the story :

"Fruitarianism is not just about health. There's the ethical thing as well. You're not killing anything. You're not uprooting plants and killing them."
I slaughtered the fuck out of fat handfuls of beans, spinach, baby carrots and two kinds of basil in my little garden this afternoon. Of course, I had to block my ears with wadded tissues to blunt the shrieks of pain and desperate dislocation filling the air as I did so. And oh, the terrible cries of those baby carrots...so pitiful.

But taking a stance in refusing to uproot tasty, crispy edible plants because you're "killing them" raises some interesting questions.

When exactly does a carrot die? The moment it is pulled from the ground?

Well, that can't be so, because I've replanted the same carrots two or three times when the freaky ones had outgrown their former beds and I'd wanted to see just how big they would get. Did they die when I pulled them from the warm bossom of Mother Earth and then resurrect Jesus-like when I replanted them somewhere more comfortable?

Is a carrot still alive when I carry it inside to the kitchen?

Is that carrot still alive when I go at it with the vegetable peeler? If the ethics of Fruitarianism is correct, then I'm literally skinning those carrots alive. And then once I've stripped them of their skin, I cut them to pieces and throw them in a sizzling wok for a stir-fry.

How goddamned brutal is that?

I never realised before just what a complete fucking monster I am. And how hungry writing all that has made me. Death to potatoes, death to spring onions and brocolli. I will make them beg for their lives, and still kill them.

Mercilessly.

Do hunter-eaters of deer and moose get these same kinds of cheap thrills?

Will taking pleasure in the suffering of innocent vegetables one day form part of the pyschological profile of a potential serial killer?

And how exactly do you give a handful of organic baby carrots a humane death?

So many questions. So many murdered plants to eat.

Maybe He Could Mime The Words Instead?

Pundits and oppo-pols are having lots of fun imagining what songs are going to fill up the 20 minute set that Midnight Oil will play at the Bushfire Relief gig in March. Any Midnight Oil fan will know that there are dozens of songs, and some of their most famous, that the current Environment Minister won't want to be seen singing now he's a professional politician, and no longer apparently believes that nuclear energy, logging and the 'US' are evil incarnate.

Of course, The Chaser anticipated exactly this kind of quandry for Peter Garrett back in mid-2007.



But Midnight Oil will only be playing a 20 minute set, and the following Oils classic will cause Garrett no political headaches, plus it will fill a good chunk of the running time :



Even though Garrett's jerking-electric shock dance moves are seared into the national consciousness, it's still going to be a little strange to see a senior minister in the federal government rocking out onstage like that. It's a good cause, though, and it's pretty obvious Peter Garrett is hugely missing the addictive buzz of performing for an audience, in front of such a truly great band as the Oils.

My pick for the list, jokes about doing only instrumentals aside, will be some of the blasting, mostly politics-free songs off 1979's raucous Head Injuries album (Bus To Bondi for example), and the soaring anthem 'One Country', the lyrics of which follows :

Who'd like to change the world, who wants to shoot the curl
Who gets to work for bread, who wants to get ahead
Who hands out equal rights, who starts and ends that fight
And not not rant and rave, or end up a slave
Who can make hard won gains, fall like the summer rain
Now every man must be, what his life can be

So dont call, me, the tune, I will walk away

Who wants to please everyone, who says it all can be done
Still sit up on that fence, no-one Ive heard of yet
Dont call me baby, dont talk in maybes
Dont talk like has-beens, sing it like it should be
Who laughs at the nagging doubt, lying on a neon shroud
Just gotta touch someone, I want to be

Who wants to sit around, turn it up turn it down
Only a man can be, what his life can be
One vision, one people, one landmass, we are defenceless, we have a lifeline
One ocean, one policy, seabed lies, one passion, one movement, one instant
One difference, one lifetime, one understanding
Transgression, redemption, one island, our placemat, one firmament
One element, one moment, one fusion, yes and one time




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Murdoch's Warning To The World

The Drudge Report claims a scoop, or a handy leak designed to reassure Rupert Murdoch's media companies' stockholders that he is about to go on one hell of a sacking spree to rein in costs....and by the way, you're all doomed, Doomed!

Media baron Rupert Murdoch issued an urgent internal communication late Monday, warning his staff: "We are in the midst of a phase of history in which nations will be redefined and their futures fundamentally altered."
Murdoch doesn't actually say this is a bad thing, overall.
"Many people will be under extreme pressure and many companies mortally wounded...."
Murdoch's got his eye on some media properties that can be brought up and downsized, then folded into New Corp, cutting thousands more jobs.
"Our competitors will be sorely tempted to take the easy beat, to reduce quality in the search for immediate dividends."
But Murdoch has no intention of letting The Greater Depression reduce the...ahhh, quality of his media products, like Fox News, or Sydney's The Daily Telegraph or the New York Post, shimmering icons of news-o-tainment.
"Let me be very clear about our company: where others might step back from their commitment to their viewers, their users, readers and customers, we will renew ours.

"The direction of the business now and over the next few years will define the character of our company for decades."
He's going to fire a shitload of journalists, and make user-generated content play a bigger role in his media products, so he doesn't have to pay so many people so much money for all that content.

Hunting 3 Metre Bull Sharks In Sydney Harbour

Wild video here of fishermen snaring a three metre long bull shark in Sydney Harbour, with the Bridge and the Opera House as a backdrop.





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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Smoke from Victoria's fires now hazing up Sydney skies after a thousand kilometres riding southerly winds.

Predictary

Pure Poison scores its first scoop : Kevin Rudd will call a federal election, sometime between now and 2011.

How do they do it?

Just Another Wild Possum In A Leagues Club Video

Obviously the possum in the below video is a scout, checking out another target for future possum occupation. Nature's War On Humans continues.



Fantastic, very cute, very funny. I wonder if the possum had been watching those doors open and close for a while from a nearby tree, working out a way to get inside? The possum's adventure inside West's Leagues Club lasted an hour.

Baby, That Was Years Ago....

Is this the first recorded reference to Cold Chisel in Australian Parliament?

Australia's PM2, Julia Gillard, got stuck into the UnOpposition's Christopher Pyne today :

"Presumably he prefers Abba to Cold Chisel, because that is the kind of thing we see on display.''
Okay, now I feel old. Some of Australia's leaders, and most senior politicians, grew up smoking cannabis and listening to the same music I did.

I won't be happy until The Angels and The Radiators also get referenced.

The Chiz in rare 1978 live TV action, performing Australia's real national anthem back when speed was still, for Jimmy Barnes, 'The Breakfast Of Champions' :



I have no idea why it cuts off after a minute and a half, but here's a video of the anthem in full.

Monday, February 23, 2009

"Assassinate" Bob Brown Talk Shows Up Again On Bolt's Blog, After Moderation

By Darryl Mason

The Professional Idiot, aka Andrew Bolt, grows uneasy at the latest results of his Stop The Pagan Nazi Commo Greens Before They Kill Us All! campaign :

I have just deleted from this thread a comment from a reader saying he wished he’d “assassinated’’ Bob Brown to save lives. It is a disgusting comment that would be repudiated by every regular reader of this blog.

Really? Repudiated by every regular reader of your blog? Are you sure about that?

His commenter's talk of killing Bob Brown "to save lives" is the expected fallout from the helplessness Andrew Bolt instills in his regular readers with his endless hysteria on the threat to their very lives he so often tells them they face from 'Green Nazi' policies, and ideology.

He's been ramping his readers up for months in anticipation of Green Terrorists posing the same kind of threats to their very lives and lifestyles he once promised were posed by the crazed Islamists living down the road, in country Victoria.

This dim fucker now tries to pretend that threats to Greens leader Bob Brown's life, published in his own blog's comments (that is, after moderation), have nothing whatsoever to do with anything he's ever written.

And it's not the first time assassinating Bob Brown has been been directly, or indirectly, discussed on Bolt's blog.

Threats of violence, and throat-slitting, directed at Bob Brown appeared on Bolt's blog, shortly after the February 7 bushfires, after Bolt goaded his readers with this headline, and intro :
Preaching Over The Dead :

"At least 36 Victorians die in bushfires, and Bob Brown sees on opportunity to preach politics..."
Bolt expected, and got, more than a hundred comments attacking Bob Brown for something he did not actually do. Many of the comments that followed hummed with a desire for violence against the Greens leader :

"You mongrel Brown...Come on you snivelling creep. Stop hiding behind your media whores."

"...the opportunist way Climate Change proponents are latching on to the event. Whats the term for opportunistic bastard? Its Bob Brown, taking this approach before the bodies are even counted.

"Insane, crazy, maddness. Its the Greenies, save a bloody lizard at the expense of human lives."

"What a truly appalling man he is. And more appalling is that so many hang off every sickening word."

"(He's) not a man. Men are human.

"Public crucifixion would be suitable for zealots such as Brown and Wong."

"Bob Brown is a sick and twisted fool."

"Frankly, if I’d been there at the time I’m not sure I could have refrained myself from decking the slimy moron."

"Brown is a swine of the first order, how anyone votes for this bastard and his party is beyond my comprehension."

"Brown, you are scum."

"Brown you are a poor excuse for a human being..."

"Bob Brown...what a despicable Turd!Makes his sick, twisted political capital out of charred bodies & ruined lives."

“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

When blog commenting in Australia becomes illegal without moderation, or some form of digital ID being used, you can thank Andrew Bolt for giving those who wish to censor us exactly the kind of ammunition they needed to ramp up their campaign.


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The Curse Of Crap Headlines

Rugby league legend Dale Shearer is not in a good way this morning. He's in a critical condition, after crashing his car into a pole while reportedly fleeing from police, driving home from a party. There's speculation he may have been drinking before the accident, but that hasn't been confirmed. Not altogether an unusual incident or accident in Australia, but obviously newsworthy because Shearer is so famous.

But what the fuck is up with this?


That's from the front page of News.com.au, the portal news site for all of Rupert Murdoch's Australian online newspapers.

"Now it appears Dale Shearer....is the victim of a ghastly curse."

Does it? Maybe if you're sniffing Ajax.

Did some old witch point a bone at Shearer and declare, "You will drive dangerously fast and out of control when you see the police"?

The article the News.com.au front page links to says nothing about a 'curse', and is a straightforward piece of reporting about the tragic outcome of what appears to be Shearer fleeing from police and losing control of his car.

The Daily Telegraph headline and story the News.com.au 'Deadly Curse' headline box links to doesn't say anything at all about a Ghastly Curse. The word 'curse' isn't even used. Though it does mention Shearer lost his wife recently to cancer.

So curses are causing cancer and car accidents, according to News.com.au.

How monumentally fucking stupid and trashy can a mainstream news site get?

Not even the most ethically barren blogger would try and pull off something like that.

UPDATE : Err, now it appears, the Australian novelist recently jailed in Thailand for daring to print a harsh word or two about that country's royal family is somehow involved in Shearer's crash. And this headline box now appears on The Daily Telegraph site as well :



And I thought I made some embarrassing mistakes on this blog.

This Is Australia, We Burn

By Darryl Mason

It must be incredibly unnerving to be living in thick bushland within 100kms of the three major firefronts in Victoria this morning, as mid-to-high 30s heat and strong winds are expected to intensify the fires already burning, and new outbreaks are expected.

Hundreds of families have reportedly
already decided to leave their homes in bushland outside of Melbourne, but fire authorities are trying to cut through the anticipatory fear-mongering of the morning news shows on TV as I write this to remind people that February 7 was a day of record-breaking extreme heat, and today is not expected to come close. Plus, at least 400,000 hectares of the state has already been burned out.

Conditions are grim, fire authorities are saying this morning, there will be plenty of heat and wind, but they are not expecting similar extremes of temperature and wind as February 7.

Fire authorities are still telling Victorians that if they have prepared their properties, if they are confident of protecting their homes, it is not necessary to leave. They are still pushing the 'Stay' choice of 'Stay or Go.' For those who don't think their homes or families are safe, then the time to leave is well before midday.

They've made it clear that evacuations are not underway, and they're working hard to stop the more excitable morning TV and radio hosts from whipping up useless, and dangerous, fear.

It would seem that emergency services in Victoria are as concerned about the possibility of widespread panic breaking out - causing untold chaos on roads and appalling accidents if tens of thousands of people smell the smoke and run for their cars - as they are about fires wiping out more communities. Kilometres of traffic building up in areas where fires may sweep through is something they are now trying to avoid.

The threat of more fires, more ember attacks, and more decimated towns and villages, is still jarring, terrifying, and now all too real. For those who have forgotten what carnage bushfires can unleash in this country, we need no more reminding. The images of destruction, death and misery are seared into the nation's mind now.

And it's hard to shake out of your head those images of fireys battling ten, fifteen, twenty metre high walls of fire, and funnels of flame. So many Australians are simply at the mercy of the bush around them burning. That fireys manage to control as much bushland and keep in check as many fires as they do is downright remarkable, but bushland dried by more than a decade of drought is so widespread, and so dry, they'd need tens of thousands more fireys and dozens of helicopters to even come close to guaranteeing that Victorians will be mostly safe from fires for the rest of this summer, and the summers to come.

Not being safe from fires, however, is an old Australian reality that most of us have only recently learned about again. As has often been said in the past, and in the past two weeks in particular, "This is Australia, we burn", and the land will continue to burn when the heat is intense, when the bush is paper dry and the winds are blowing hard.

If you live in the bush, when the heat boils up into the mid-to-high 30s, and strong winds pick up, you can no longer look at that billow of the smoke in the distance and shrug and say to yourself, 'Well, those fires are 40 or 50 ks away. We'll be right."

There's probably at least a few dozen people who lost their lives in Marysville and Kinglake who thought the exact same thing, never imagining that fire could sweep in faster than they could get the kids into the car and drive to escape it.

But as the Victorian premier, John Brumby, has repeatedly pointed out since February 7, even if mandatory evacuations were announced, as some believe they should have been two weeks ago, and if you were to evacuate everyone potentially threatened by fire on days like this, where exactly do you evacuate 500,000, or more, people to? Where do they go?

In the outskirts of Sydney, up into the Blue Mountains, there are some 1.5 million people living in what could be described as "bushland settings." If conditions in the future were ever to mimic Victoria's on February 7, where would all those people go? And who would do all the evacuating?

In Australia, it's all but impossible to evacuate 500,000 to 1.5 million people from an area under threat. China evacuates millions, some years more than 20 million, from flood zones every time the super-rains come and rivers rise dangerously so. But it takes days to do it safely, and it's a fantasy to think that we have anywhere near the resources to stage such mass evacuations. In Victoria or New South Wales, unlike China, most of those evacuated would have nowhere to go, and state governments would have nowhere to even tent all those people while a bushfire threat passes.

If climate change has in reality given us an horrific preview this year of what's to come, perhaps the impossible problems of massive evacuation in Australia will be overcome, eventually. Maybe.

This is Australia. We Burn.

But tinder dry bush doesn't always just burst into flames either, even when the heat is so intense it sears the nose to breathe the air. Poorly maintained electricity lines can spark bushfires (as may well the case with the fires that swept into Kinglake two weeks ago), so can discarded cigarettes, and arsonists strike around the country every year, when fire-ready conditions are most perfect.

Is there somebody, right now, down in Victoria, thinking about going out and lighting more fires today? It absolute shatters fireys every time one of their own is busted for lighting fires in the bush, and it seems to happen nearly every year now. But how do you stop these people? In the future will potential arsonists be spotted, and dealt with, pre-emptively, as we now deal with supposed terrorists? Get them before they get the chance to do something destructive and deadly?

The most moving part of the 'National Day of Mourning' yesterday was to see the fire fighting men and women, who lost their homes and friends trying to protect the houses of complete strangers. They will be back out there today, and all this week, and again this time next year. They face dangers we can't comprehend, and it's a sign of just how professional many of them are that so few are injured or killed as they battle those flames.

The fire threat, unlike most other natural disasters, comes on so many fronts, sometimes all at the same time - arson, spot fires caused by loose embers from burn-offs, lighting strikes - and all are impossible to fully contain or control. It's worse than a war, fire is without mercy.

This is Australia. We Burn.

It's a reality few of us will forget anytime soon.

UPDATE :
Stories hitting the online headlines right now, at 8.40am, are claiming the new Victorian fires threat is greater than mentioned earlier, but authorities are still trying to avoid a situation developing where roads become choked with traffic, blocking emergency response vehicles, and potentially trapping people in the path of fires :

"Of most concern is the giant East Kilmore-Murrindindi fire," Department of Sustainability and Environment spokesman Lee Miezis said.

"We're talking about temperatures to the mid-30s with a northwesterly wind and a late chance with southwesterly winds

CFA state duty officer Neil Bumpstead said residents would be most at risk after the wind change forecast for late this afternoon.

Mr Bumpstead warned that if fire did reach the Warburton Valley, people who had left should be prepared to stay away for several days.

"We cannot stress enough that with limited road access in the Warburton Valley, traffic may become congested," he said.

"Being on the roads is dangerous during a fire threat."

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Bargain Basement Bush



Elton John charges more for floor seats, and Elton doesn't give you a meal :

Celebrity agent Max Markson plans to bring former US president George Bush to Australia on a $1000-a-head speaking tour next year.

"I was on a cruise in the Caribbean the day after President [Barack] Obama was sworn in and I received an email asking if I could arrange for president Bush to come out," Mr Markson said.

The day after Obama was sworn in, Bush was ready to start hoiking his blood-caked wares to punters in Australia.

Bush is desperately trying to raise about $US500 million for his presidential library. Not a lot of those who promised him years back, "Yeah, sure, Mr President, I'll throw in $50 million for your book place, sure, now how many missiles do you want to buy?" haven't come up with the money he needs. And he'll be lucky to get even a few hundred grand for his memoirs.

At least he'll find enough punters in Australia to cash him up enough to fit out his library.

A smaller library.

Maybe a mobile library....

They won't be shutting down the streets of Sydney and running kilometres of steel fencing through the heart of the city and the Botanical Gardens this time when Bush visits.

Laugh? I Almost Disemboweled Myself

By Darryl Mason

The Murdoch media "across the board" cutbacks to staff are biting deep into News Limited blogger-luxuries like moderators.

The Herald Sun's Andrew Bolt :

Have your say here.

Apologies in advance, but there may be a delay in moderating today. My eldest son in playing with his band in the country, and I’m not sure if anyone is around today to fill in for me.

Wait a sec...moderate your own blog's comments?

Work on your own blog, on the weekend?

Outrageous!

All those pro-Costello Liberal Party staffers and "PR consultants" trying to fuck with Malcolm Turnbull's leadership via Bolt's chaos-ridden comment boards, trying to wreak further havoc on the party that John Howard all but destroyed, will have to fruitlessly shout into all that online silence and hear no reassuring yowing in return. For a few hours, anyway.

Surely the advertising revenues on a mainstream media blog like Bolt's, heavily cross-promoted through Murdoch media online news sites that attract hundreds of thousands of readers a day, would earn enough to pay somebody else at least something to do the moderating, part-time?

Here's a recent prime space ad from Bolt's "One Million Hits A Month" blog :



That would be "global warming" that Andrew Bolt repeatedly claims "stopped in 1998", the same global warming that he thinks is "the most superstitious pagan faith of all" and is being promoted by "the carbon cult". In the case of the above advertiser on his blog, "the carbon cult" is own employer.

The mentality here, of earning a wage from a company that promotes what you claim is dangerous and will cost lives, is summed up like this : "Hi. These true believers are the new Nazis and it's my job to warn you how terribly dangerous they are. Oh, by the way, I work for them!"

News Limited bloggers don't earn anything from "Hey! We're Really Green, Too!" ads from News Limited. That's not good news for Bolt, or for News Limited.

Why in the world aren't advertisers rushing to flog their wares on a mainstream media blog that is so undeniably popular, at least in Australia? Bolt's a regular taxpayer-soaking guest of the ABC, and is an enthusiastic dancing bear on A Current Affair. As far as bloggers go in Australia, there's few more famous. And no-one wants to advertise there?

Well, no-one except for his own employer, who mocks him with its own massive ads above his posts, pumping News Limited's New Corporate Green campaign to fight global warming that Bolt himself so often proclaims doesn't actually exist.

Does a near total lack of non-News Limited advertisers have something to do with Bolt's feign warning to his regular readers today that much more time will now be spent judiciously culling the more extreme and disturbing comments?

Well, yeah. Of course.

Rupert Murdoch has made it very clear to his shareholders, if not his own staff, that the more highly paid employees, like Howard-era conservative-minded opinionists, are now expected to perform - that is earn decent ad revenue - in the online world. There's no free rides for 'star columnists' anymore. And if News Limited is forced to fill ad space on Bolt's blog with its own ads, then his ad revenue earning performance is less than spectacular. No doubt Rupert himself has already noticed this.

It's like ranting near daily that Scientology is a dangerous cult, and then having Scientologists advertising on your blog. Daily. Actually, it's much worse. Scientology ads would at least pay for the ad space.

Anyway, who needs to hire in moderators? The secret to staying on top of your blog's comments is to not attract so many verbose, intolerant, insult-spewing commenters who need constant monitoring.

Not like here. Right?







Hello?

Is anybody out there?




No? Good. I can go to bed then, and sleep late.

Rupert Murdoch Admits He Tells His Newspapers What To Print

Murdoch Journalist Denies Murdoch Media Conspiracy

Andrew Bolt Announces Boycott Over Corporate "Global Warming Hypcocrisy (sic)"

Friday, February 20, 2009

Howard : You Stupid People, Why Can't You See How Mega I Was?

By Darryl Mason

How strong, how formidable a legacy can it really be when John Howard has to repeatedly remind us of how strong and formidable that legacy is supposed to be?

"The legacy of the former Liberal government is one that we should all want to own," says the 2007' Federal Election's Biggest Loser, who, in the words of Dame Elizabeth Murdoch, destroyed the Liberal Party on his way to retirement.

"Australia was a stronger, prouder and more prosperous nation in November 2007 than it had been in March 1996. Yet attempts have been made to discount the contributions of competitive capitalism and more open markets to the remarkable economic growth, in many nations, during these past 30 years."

And how many of those who "prospered" through increased access to cheap and voluminous personal credit remain prosperous today? Enough to sustain that fantasy...sorry, legacy?

John Howard spells out "Who We Liberals Are" for those who have forgotten, and how easily they forget :

"We are a party of the individual rather than of the collective. We see the maximum good for the nation being achieved when each individual is encouraged to do his or her best.

"We are a party that should always see the family as the most important unit in our society, not only as a source of love and emotional security, but also, quite pragmatically, as mankind's most efficient social welfare system. Liberals should always retain their strong belief in the fundamental force of the market. That does not mean that the market always functions smoothly or that it is not open to abuse."

And something from Mr Howard about a new great, or even greater, depression now looms thanks to some of the most outrageous gambles and acts of mega-billion dollar fraud ever committed in the history of the world, perhaps?

No.

"The notion that markets need extensive reregulation is based on a false reading of what has happened to the world economy."

World economy? Do they still even call it that? What's left of it?

It's bad enough that Rudd & Friends dare to claim credit for what was achieved during the Liberal Years Of Peace And Prosperity And Magic Wonderfulness For All, but Howard is so desperate to scrabble for scraps of credibility and respect these days that he is positioning himself as having continued in the tradition of 1980s economic reformers, and former prime ministers, Bob Hawke and Paul Keating.

Heeeeerrrrrre's Johnny :

"In 1980 our nation needed five great reforms. We needed to deregulate our financial system, fundamentally change our taxation system, make our labour markets freer, reduce excessively high tariffs and rid the government of ownership of commercial enterprises that would be better run privately. By 2007 these five great reforms had been achieved."

Folding himself into the legacy of the Hawke and Keating Years must have come as something of a surprise for the Liberal desperates gathered to hear Howard speak yesterday.

Well, gathered to hear Malcolm Turnbull speak, suffering through Howard, stifling snores and groans as they collectively wondered when this loser was going to get the fuck off the stage so Turnbull could wake up himself and get on with leading the Liberal Party into whatever hell awaits them next.

END OF PART ONE



Above, The Herald Sun takes a photoshop shot at imagining what actress Cate Blanchett would look like if she were to take on the role of Pauline Hanson in a planned movie of her life :

Melbourne filmmakers Leanne Tonkes and Steve Kearney believe Australia's most radiant leading lady would be perfect to play the One Nation founder in their Pauline Hanson biopic.

AFI award-winning screenwriter and playwright Stephen Sewell is on board. So is director Anna Broinowksi, best known for her account of the Norma Khouri literary hoax, Forbidden Lie$.

The producers have talked to Blanchett. "She's very busy," Kearney admits. "It really depends if we deliver a script she likes."

"It's based on Hanson's life, starting from a fish and chip shop and ending on Dancing With the Stars."
They should include the very real conspiracy that unfolded between the Labor Party and The Liberals to destroy Hanson beginning in 1996, after John Howard lifted some of her most popular policies and made them his own. Neither the Labor or Liberal parties wanted to see a third party threatening their shared monopoly of federal politics, and for a while there, One Nation with Hanson at the helm looked to have a decent shot at shattering that monopoly. Sabotuer extraordinaire Tony Abbott went so far as to arrange pro-bono lawyers for those who really wanted to grind Pauline Hanson into the ground with lawsuit after lawsuit, a standard tactic for shutting up those with too much to say, and too many people listening.

"Slimy? Mudhole? My Home This Is"



This three year old pic of a familiar looking mud puddle is doing the e-mail rounds again. Tasmania might be a bit big, but Queensland looks pretty accurate right now.

Snopes hasn't decided
whether or not this is photoshopped, but believes the image's appearance at the Army newspaper online lends it a level of credibility :

ADF personnel deployed to Sudan were given a unique reminder of their island home with a picture on a track. Rain left this mud map in potholes, bearing a striking resemblance to Australia.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Dream Given, Then Stolen Away

After years of pathetic whining about when oh when will the Evil Pagan Lefty-Infested ABC finally give a whining Howard-era conservative his own show, Andrew Bolt receives the call he's been waiting so long for :

Just received call from ABC, asking me to produce/host my own show for $20m. Squealed "Yes!".
But life is cruel. So very, very cruel.
They giggled, and then hung up.
Andrew Bolt is taking his obsession with Peter Costello beyond mere infatuation :
"Now I've started photoshopping myself into Costello's wedding photos. How good do I like in white? Very.

"Peter says I would look good with a moustache. Spent 30 mins in front of mirror with various fake moustaches. Looked quite good."

"Peter Costello dropped by for lunch. On the way out he touched me on the small of my back. It was electric."

"I keep finding myself scrawling Mr. Andrew Costello all over my notes. What is wrong with me?"
This is all taking place at Twitter. But why won't Andrew Bolt share his sweet emotions with his blog readers at the Herald Sun? What is he afraid of? People will mock him for confessing his man love for Peter Costello, but I think it's quite touching.

UPDATE : I'm shocked, stunned, shocked and stunned, that I've fallen for a fake Twitter. The Andrew Bolt I've quoted above, mewing like a schoolgirl in love, is apparently not the real Andrew Bolt, AKA The Professional Idiot.

Gary Kemble, the big spoilsport, at ABC Online, reveals all :

Twitter has taken off in Australia in recent weeks, aided by mainstream media focus and the Victorian bushfires, drawing in a whole new audience for enterprising tweeps who snapped up the names of some well-known Aussies.

Following in the footsteps of fake Henry Rollins, fake William Shatner and fake Megan Fox comes fake Andrew Bolt, obsessing over former treasurer Peter Costello.

Sydney Morning Herald columnist Miranda Devine also cops some heat, with her Twitter alter ego detailing a "blazing row" with ABC journo Leigh Sales at an upmarket Sydney eatery.

"Claimed my use of 'holocaust' in today's piece was inapropriate. Offered her my dictionary," the fake Miranda Devine writes.

It's not yet clear if the fake tweeps will be allowed to continue as they are.

Guidelines covering the use of Twitter state: "You may not impersonate others through the Twitter service in a manner that does or is intended to mislead, confuse, or deceive others."

Bummer.

It was fun while it lasted.

We've Already Moved On

By Darryl Mason

Did the media 9/11 the Victoria Fires to death?

Have we had about as much as we can take of survivor stories and hearing about the tragic loss suffered by so many fellow Australians?

If you read one more opinion piece about "back burning" and "fuel loads" will you mutter "Fuck those hillbillies, they wanted to live in the bush, I'm sick of hearing about this shit" like a middle-aged man did at my local 7/11 as he flicked through a Daily Telegraph while queuing, drawing nods and shrugs, but no outrage, from others also waiting in line?

Will you be watching the live cross to Sunday's memorial service, or 'The Day Of National Mourning' as it's also known, or does that pile of unwatched DVDs seem more than a little tempting?

There are still plenty of interesting, and shocking, stories flowing from the aftermath of the Victoria Fires, but outside of news about a fireman who fell victim to a 'widow maker' and another about Google Earth's problems with government bureacracy when it tried to map the fires live, all stories related to the Victoria Fires just aren't rating any more, at all, on the Top Stories lists of our major mainstream online news sites.

It's back to business as usual for millions of Australians who get their news online, with celebrity shit, crocodiles, diet, tech and sex stories proving to be as popular as they always were, and will no doubt continue to be.












And from ABC News Online :

How Does A Chicken Consent To Sex?

According to "a leading Queensland biologist", innocent chickens are being "raped" by bush turkeys, who are growing in number and are taking advantage of the locals :

"Bluntly, that's a form of rape," he said.

"Especially black chickens....(bush turkeys) seem to think 'oh well, these look close enough' and they'll mate with them."
It's a brutal world out there.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

It's Easier Than You Think



But what is 'Sydney' talking about over there? Rocks, Evil Pagan Lefty Commo Nazi Greenies, Hamas children's TV hosts, flavoured milk, Al Gore Is Fat, American radio host Rush Limbaugh and some cricket commentator who uses the word "must" a lot.

Now that Murdoch media bloggers will soon have to rely on blog revenue to fill the money gap left by the boss's "across the board" staff and wage cuts, Blair will need all the promotion he can get, even if it qualifies as false advertising.

UPDATE : The Great Al Gore Global Warming Conspiracy Collective is at war against The Deniers and has hacked into Blair's blog (obviously I can't ignore it) and is gremlinising comments, to accidentally amusing effect :

When I moved house recently I lost my treasured paper clip. The one special paperclip, that clipped together many of my favourite peices of paper. I was devastated.

bondo of Melbourne (reply)
18 Feb 09 (06:20pm)

Simultaneous Lover replied to bondo
Wed 18 Feb 09 (10:46pm)
Yes, I have been a cheater. Sorry to admit it, but before I found the right girl to settle down with, I dated 3 simultaneously. It’s expensive and time consuming.
Surreal. Apparently, comments posted in reply to comments on other News Limited blogs are popping up randomly wherever they feel like at Blair's. So a riveting discussion about pens, paperclips and the Holocaust at Blair's is suddenly interrupted by comments meant to appear on some other blog entirely where the conversation is centred around the TV show WifeSwap.

It's excellently random and chaotic, and should be kept. Much more entertaining.

Tragedy Porn, Did It Do It For You?

By Darryl Mason

The Professional Idiot thinks he has found a potential comment volcano in the ugly truths that Ross Gittins writes about here. The Professional Idiot takes a couple of reasonable arguments that Gittens raises - for example, that the media coverage of the Victorian bushfires has been hyperbolic and Spielbergian in its gratuitously obvious manipulation of our emotions - and claims that those wanting to help out the victims must be "sick". Gittins says no such thing. It's a concoction of The Professional Idiot's poisoned mind.

The Professional Idiot wants his readers
to go all out in hammering Gittens - "Please don’t restrain your criticism of Gittins," he goads, "Any pity you may feel for him is just a sign of your depravity" - but it completely backfires, with about 80% of commenters agreeing that Gittins is pretty much exactly right when he says that the media focus on the Victorian bushfires (to the exclusion of other tragedies and daily tales of loss and hardship) bordered on pornographic, and that while Australians are lining up to help out the survivors this time, they are mostly missing in action when, say, The Red Cross, appeals for blood donors at any other time during the average year.

Here's the two snippets The Professional Idiot provides to provoke his readers :

The outpouring of public concern over the terrible Victorian bushfires, the rush to give blood, the huge amount of donations, the efforts of governments to do all they can to help, the way business has swung behind the appeal for assistance - it makes you proud to be an Aussie.

Is that how you feel? I don’t. I find it all strangely disturbing and distasteful.

And it's served to strengthen my suspicion that the community's reaction to natural disasters is exploitative, voyeuristic, unfair, self-gratifying and even pathological.

Selective quoting at its best. And strange, too, seeing as The Professional Idiot usually fills his blog with hundreds and hundreds of words written by others. Not this time. Gittins nails so many extremely valid points about the media and public reaction to the undeniably horrific human tragedy of the Victorian Fires 2009 (Part One) that The Professional Idiot must be seething with jealousy. Gittins already controversial piece makes most of TPI's recent efforts at trying to Capture The Emotion of the tragedy seem so much trivial fluff. It must be doubly grating for The Professional Idiot that so many of his readers so overwhelmingly agree with Gittins.

Here's some of the hassh reality from Gittins that The Professional Idiot chose to ignore because he is exactly the kind of Tabloid Media that Ross Gittins so relentlessly hammers and holds in contempt (excerpts) :

...media coverage of this (disaster has) gone way over the top. And it's served to strengthen my suspicion that the community's reaction to natural disasters is exploitative, voyeuristic, unfair, self-gratifying and even pathological.

Natural disasters are a time when emotions and appearances reign supreme and rational thought goes overboard. Let a victim corner a politician on talkback radio and he'll agree to almost anything. The media devote such huge resources of space and airtime to covering natural disasters for an obvious reason: they believe it will increase their circulations and ratings.

But don't blame it all on the media. They do what they do because they know it's what their audience wants.

I've never liked having my emotions revved up by the media, but it's clear most people do. They want the media to give their feelings of sympathy, sorrow and grief a good workout.

The unspeakable truth is that most people enjoy a good natural disaster. We're fascinated by the misfortune of others. It's a form of entertainment, just as people find weepies and horror movies entertaining. As part of this, audiences want as much personal, intimate detail about the victims' trauma as possible, and the media deliver.

I suspect we use natural disasters to add interest and excitement to our humdrum lives. Modern city life leaves us with weaker connections to our extended families and neighbours, so whereas once we could let our emotions loose on the misadventures of people we knew, now we need the mass media to provide our emotional exercise.

Our preoccupation lasts a week or two before the media senses our waning interest and turns away, waiting for the next natural disaster to get excited about.

Our emotion-driven caring is highly selective. People with problems get wonderful treatment provided their problems make good TV footage and for the 15 minutes they're in the media spotlight. People with chronic (old-hat), unphotogenic problems get ignored.

Media Watch examined the Tragedy Porn of the Australian media last night, and how some journalists stomped their way through crime scenes, homes to which owners had been denied access. The transcript is here.

You only have to look at the Top Stories listings at our online mainstream media to see that our interest in the victims of the Victorian Fires is already waning.

Then again, how much emotion can anybody be expected to commit to such a tragedy? Life goes on, everybody's got their own problems to deal with, and the media goes back to hunting, and waiting, for the next moment of National Caring that reminds us, indeed, how much we really do care. Or want to care.

Or want to feel like we are caring.
It's hard to imagine that anything could happen that will let loose again such an outpouring of National Caring, but it will.

What's next? A massive train wreck? An earthquake sinking half of Sydney's CBD? A tsunami wiping out dozens of villages along our endless coastline? A cyclone carrying away most of Cairns?

And what will the reaction be the next time a firestorm wipes out an Australian town or three? Will we be more sympathetic, or less? Will there be a guilty reaction from feeling, 'Been there, done that'?

Will another holocaust seem more horrific or less, if the bodycount is only 50 instead of more than 200?

Police Do Not Have The Right To Immediately Search Your Mobile Phone, Blackberry Or Video Camera

This story is a few weeks old, but it's worth repeating, again and again:

A man detained and threatened with arrest under the Terrorism Act for filming police on his mobile phone says police abused their powers.

Nick Holmes a Court, CEO of web-based media companies BuzzNumbers and ShiftedPixels, was walking to his home near Kings Cross in Sydney about 10pm on December 19.

He said police forcibly took his BlackBerry phone and threatened him with arrest both under the Australian Anti-Terrorism Act and for allegedly disobeying a police directive.

Mr Holmes a Court said he had started filming what looked like a search after he noticed a group of police walking down his street.

"I went to one guy and asked what was going on but he told me to move along, and if I didn't they'd be able to arrest me," he said.

"So I moved down the street a few hundred metres to where my apartment was, pulled out my phone and started filming."

Mr Holmes a Court said he had stopped filming before two of the police officers approached, demanding he surrender his BlackBerry mobile phone and telling him he had committed a crime if he had recorded them.

"It was in my hand, and they were saying, 'Give me your phone, give me your phone,' but I just kept repeating, 'I do not consent to a search of my phone'," Mr Holmes a Court said.

"It was pulled out of my hand - it wasn't me handing it over to her - and now I've got this girl looking through my phone and all my content - my contacts, photos, text messages and emails."

Mr Holmes a Court said he repeatedly complained to the police while they tampered with his phone, but was told to "shut up".

Queensland Council for Civil Liberties president Michael Cope said police did not have the authority to confiscate cameras or stop people from taking pictures of them performing their duties.

"It's not appropriate for the police to be stopping people taking pictures of them," Mr Pope said.

"They've got no power to do that, none whatsoever, and they've got no power to confiscate cameras.

"Why should they be fighting being scrutinised?"

Maybe they just wanted to see what the quality of the footage was like, maybe they thought they could use it in one of the many reality TV shows police now control, and profit from :
The insatiable demand for reality-TV is proving to be a boom for NSW Police with the force signing an increasing number of exclusive deals with "true crime" style shows.

The force has signed contracts with at least four highly-rated shows, granting film crews exclusive access behind the crime scene tape in "user-pays" arrangements.

In return for signing confidentiality agreements and allowing NSW Police to vet their final products, reality-TV crews are ushered in by police film supervisors to crime scenes while other media are being kept back.

Earlier this year, the NSW Police Force encrypted their police scanners, which means the media is not informed of many major crimes, such as murders, until a media release is issued the following day.

Unless the media happens to have an exclusive 'reality TV' deal with the police, then their on the scene program makers can report back to the news desk what sort of shit has just gone down.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Take Your Spew And Wee Elsewhere

Inner-city Melbourne has become one big public toilet, and vomitorium, according to local councils. They want maggoted youth to stop pissing and puking in the street. How to get the message across? 'Shock' ads, of course.

Be warned, the first ad is particularly chunky :



Crack A Joke, Break The Misery

I was wondering when we were going to see the return of the black-as Australian sense of humour amongst all the seriousness and tragedy of the Victorian fires. It sounds like it's back :

"The Catholic Church has burnt down, the United Church has burnt down, and I see the Buddhist temple is still standing," one survivor said.

"It sort of makes you realise who might have the real God. I think I'll change religion."

One woman says that when she took a TV crew to her house, they began walking over the rubble and she called out to them, "No, through here please," and proceeded to pick up what was left of the front door handle.
Great story.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Raging Against The Firey Accused Of Killer Arson Challenges Online Freedom Of Speech



By Darryl Mason

When volunteer firefighter Brendan Sokaluk was named by Channel 7 news on the weekend as the person arrested as the key suspect in the arson that started the Churchill fires, which killed as many as 21 people in Victoria, an elderly woman was asked for her opinion as she exited a Churchill supermarket. Without hesitation, the old woman said she wanted to cover him in petrol and set him on fire.

Burning the currently unconvicted man to death for what he may have done is the most popular choice for revenge murder amongst thousands of Australians commenting online at blogs, MySpace, YouTube and Facebook.

There hasn't been such a popular public demand for instant death of an accused murderer since the gruesome pack rape and slaughter of Anita Cobby in 1986, when Blacktown locals surrounded the city police station, where the suspects were being held, and waved nooses and screamed for bloody and savage revenge, calls for revenge that were echoed across the country.

Facebook, in particular, has been inundated with thousands joining 'Kill That Sick Fuck Now'-type groups, filled with comments proposing creatively gruesome ways to torture the accused to death :

President of the Australian Council of Civil Liberties, Terry O'Gorman, says the creators of the Facebook groups, some of which have over 2,000 members, could face charges for being in contempt of court and could put a stop to the accused actually going to trial.

"As far as stopping comments about torture and killing and so on, that's a bit more difficult, I think however Facebook has got to bring their good judgement to bear.

"While people have a right to express an opinion about the person who has been charged, it's got to be kept in mind that this person has to have a fair trial.

"If this person who has been arrested for arson is to face trial before a jury, it makes it very difficult to get a jury pool who is not tainted by the results of these Facebook entries."

Mr O'Gorman says just as media outlets can face prosecution for breaching court orders, so too can individuals.

"The law of suppression, when laid down by a court, applies just as much to individuals who use Facebook as it does to major media outlets," he said.

"I think it's high time that those people who are making these entries on Facebook realise that they are not operating in a legal vacuum."

Membership for the online groups continues to grow, as does the anger (hopefully being) vented in the comments on the Facebook groups :

"let the people get him I say".

"Ya know, I would go to jail myself if I could get my hands on this creep, let me hurt him, burn him, put a bullet and knife in every orrifice of his body," wrote one poster.

"tie the bastard to a post and put a ring of fire around him....let the fire make its way to him and make him suffer like the other 100's of people had to indure...."

"yes thank christ his address was given out, just in case the police din't catch him in time, i had a small chance to go and smash the cunt's knee caps in with a metal pipe..."

"what a fucken sicko yeah?"

"You dirty piece os scumbag shit. how the fuck can you do what you did. your lucky i dont get my hands on you cause i light you on fire then put you out and continue to do it untill you slowly burn to death you low life piece of shit. remember what goes around comes around your fucked..."

"...you fuckn worthless piece of shit… ur a fuckn disgrace to human kind… to any living thing!!!! if i was the magistrate dealing wid ur case i would be giving ur the harshest punishment ever recalled… it wouldnt be putting u in prison it would be putin u in a tidy cell… n one day at a time cut ur limbs the burn them up the put lemon or salt on them n rub it… il make u fuckn suffer like our family and friends did!! u DIRTY, PERVERT FUCKD UP HUMAN BEING……rot in hell u bastard

It shouldn't really come as any surprise that some of those making these kinds of comments are friends or relatives of people who burned to death in the fires Brendan Sokaluk is now accused of lighting.

Obviously there are now serious concerns about whether such an outpouring of public fury and calls for violent revenge will jeopardise the chances of Brendan Sokaluk receiving a fair trial.

While radio commentators, and newspaper opinionists, can't publicly call for the accused to have his fingers cut off, sewn back on and then cut off again (as one Facebook commenter demanded), right now the laws that could stop Facebookers making such threats are mostly untested in the courts and may prove to be extremely difficult to prosecute :

"It's the problem with the internet and particularly internet sites such as Facebook and other chat arrangements, the law really hasn't kept up with internet developments..."

"It's quite clear the major newspaper or radio station can't make those comments.

"Equally people on Facebook can't make them, but the law really hasn't caught up to internet technology to ensure that sort of prohibition can be properly policed."

Here's Mathew Rimmer, lecturer in law at the ANU, on why Facebook should not be seen as any different to any other media organisation :
"Much like a newspaper, Facebook needs to be careful what it publishes because it's not just the author who is liable. Sometimes the publisher is liable ," he said.

Dr Rimmer said Facebook users needed to think carefully before posting. Individuals who posted comments that breach confidentiality, privacy or defamation laws, or any relevant court orders, could be held liable.
This could be all the fuel some need to push for all comments to blogs or social networking sites to be regulated, moderated, with any kind of anonymity wiped away forever.

More on all this here

VEX News broke the Online Vigilantes At Facebook story early on Sunday, February 15.




A reader-submitted image from ABC Online shows a view of the Churchill fires Brendan Sokaluk is accused of lighting




.

Quick Draw McIdiot In Spectacular Self-Goosing

The Professional Idiot's team of content providers delivers some more pure Gold :

Me, a Bolt who hates anyone with “a name like Hussein”? Not so, believe me.

The Profesional Idiot, or one of his team, meant to link to this story on sprinter Hussein Bolt to counter claims of Barack Obama related anti-Husseinery, but instead (before a hasty correction) readers were directed for a second time to this post by Irfan Yusuf that reasonably asked if anyone actually reads through the mind vomit of many Andrew Bolt commenters, before publication, and highlighted some of the more insane comments by the most dense of The Professional Idiot's long conga line of absolute fucking morons.

Some of those comments :

"It’s a bit hard to be friends with an invisible enemey. The religion/ideology that is Islam has been at odds with the civilised world for more than a thousand years. It continues today either in the form of wars being faught in Africa and the Middle East or your local town, suburb or capital city where a more subtle form of ideological control is taking place. Gradually they will either kill us or out number us via massive birth rates. It is happening and people are letting it happen."

"Islam is a threat to non Islamic people everywhere ... Given any chance, Muslims will oppress peoples the world over if they resist conversion to Islam....Denying this is like denying the Holocaust, but I guess you think that was propaganda too?"

"We have to consider these things from Obama’s perspective, which is very different from ours. He is the first Arab President, the US has had."

I'm not sure what The Profesional Idiot's intention was here, unless he intended to point out to his own readers how thick-as some of the fellow brethren are, but when you're relying on 'one million hits a month' to make up for the "across the board" cutbacks from the boss that are now taking effect on the mega-paid opinionastra, like himself, you've got to find something Muslimy every day to keep the last dregs of vehemently paranoid Howard-era conservatives coming back for more.

The Myths Of Marysville : They Died In Church, On Their Knees, In Prayer

By Darryl Mason

The London Times doesn't care whether the following story is true or not, it just makes for a dramatic headline :

Estimates vary but up to 80 residents who had taken shelter at the Cumberland hotel, Our Lady of the Snows Catholic Church and the Anglican Parish Christ Church lay dead. Some were said to have died on their knees, in prayer.
On Sunday and Monday, after the destruction, stories flew around amongst survivors from Marysville that dozens perished in the local churches, where they'd tried to find shelter from the inferno, but these tales were quickly dismissed. Some people had tried to shelter in at least one of these churches, but were evacuated before the flames ashed it.

I can't find even one news story from the Australian media that still claims people died in those churches, and the claim that people died on their knees in prayer appears to be a complete fabrication.

Why make up stories, or spread myths, when the truth of what happened in Marysville is far more dramatic, and terrible?

UPDATE : I submitted a comment to the London Times story, using the feedback box on the same page, at 2am, Sydney Time, pointing out the claim of many deaths in Marysville's two churches was a rumour dismissed a week ago by locals and officials. Six hours later, the story remains uncorrected, and the headlines remains : 'They Died On Their Knees In Prayer.'

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Man Up, Fire Crybabies

Compassionate international YouTube commenters share some love with Australians devastated by the Victorian fires :

"Fucking Australians all think they're the hottest motherfuckers on the planet. Now you're literally hot! BURN FAGGOT CAVEMAN PEOPLE, BURN!"
"Seriously, who cares? Thanks for AC/DC, Mad Max, and INXS - but WTF has Australia been up to lately? You're like a cousin that had so much potential when he was younger, but now sniffs glue in a camaro out in the school parking lot listening to speed metal."

"...fuck you. Thousands of people die every day, thousands of babies are born every day. Its life. Build a bridge and grow a dick. Stupid Australians. They all think they're Crocodile Dundee."
But you don't have to go to YouTube to find hatred of bushfire victims. There's always religion.

Here's whatever the hell 'Al Qaeda' is supposed to be these days :

Senior analyst at SITE Intelligence Group Adam Raisman said they were posting pictures of burnt homes and devastated victims and "taking joy in the scenes".

One jihadist wrote: "It would be an act of revenge for Australian's participation in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq."

Pretty calm stuff. For the really extreme hatred, you have to turn to American Baptists :
GOD HATES AUSTRALIA.
THANK GOD FOR KILLER FIRES & FLOODS, 100+ DEAD; PRAY FOR MANY MORE...
Yes. It is WBC's sincerely held religious belief that Australia is a land of False Prophets, many of whom are fags or fag-enablers.
Grods has more

And Irfan Yusuf takes a closer look at the claims made by SITE and the Herald Sun, and warns of the threats posed by jihadic koalas.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The (Perhaps) Perfect Crime

Was this rip-off inspired by some crime flick I haven't seen? There doesn't seem to be any news stories archived online where this caper has been pulled before, at least not in the past few years. It's stunningly simple, scarily so.

A car dealership in Liverpool, New South Wales, Saturday morning, before opening time. Thirteen men walk in, confront the three employees, assault them and each man climbs into an unregistered car and drives away. The thirteen cars are believed to be worth as much as half a million :

The thieves' haul included one white and two blue VW Golfs, a black Mitsubishi Lancer, a grey Holden Barina, a white Mitsubishi Triton, a black VW Passat, a black Subaru Impreza, a white Mazda 3 and one black and one green Holden Commodore.

You'd imagine the copycat potential for this, anywhere in the world, is extremely high. Though, rounding up thirteen people to pull a job like that points to very well organised criminals, lots of rehearsal (no crashes as they try to get the cars out of the dealership as quickly as possible) with a way of getting the stolen cars off the street, or out of the country, very quickly.

More Than 10,000 Australians Have Lost Their Homes To Natural Disasters In Two Weeks

Amongst the horror and human carnage of the Victorian fires, the devastation wrought upon thousands in North Queensland has slipped into the background for many, understandably so. But floods and heavy rains that have reached more than two-thirds of Queensland in the past few weeks, more than one million square kilometres, have devastated cane and banana plantations, cut off entire towns, wiped away bridges and major roads and left, according to this story, thousands of people homeless. Combined with the 7000 thousand now homeless from the fires in Victoria, more than 10,000 Australians are urgently looking for somewhere else to live. Just mind-boggling :

In Ingham residents are beginning the clean-up. But the situation remains dire in Queensland's gulf country, which is experiencing the highest river peaks in 35 years.

In Karumba, a remote fishing town in the state's north-west, residents have been asked to cut back on showers because the town had as little as three days' drinking water left after a water pipeline to nearby Normanton burst. Some towns in the area have been without fresh food since early last month.

Many in the gulf expect to be flood-bound for at least another month.

The floods have devastated the state's sugar industry, which was already struggling due to years of poor growing conditions, high costs and low returns. The water has also damaged banana plantations, which were recovering from Cyclone Larry in 2006.

Yesterday heavy rain between Townsville and Mackay continued. Charters Towers, inland from Townsville, and Longreach, central Queensland were still on flood alert.

Hungry Australia

The below figures from FoodBank are stunning. And remember, this is the state of poverty and hunger in Australia today, before a few hundred thousand people lose their jobs in the next two years :

* The aged, 'singles' and the 'working poor' have become the new battlers in Australia
* 13% of Australian adults and 15% of children live in poverty, and the numbers are growing.
* 2.4 million Australians don't have enough money to take care of basic needs such as housing, clothing and food.
* 15% of Australian children live in jobless households and this figure has increased by 30% in the last 20 years.
* In Australia over a million children don't get enough to eat.
* Two million Australians rely on food relief every year and half of them are children.
* These one million children often go to school without breakfast, or to bed without dinner.
FoodBank

If you're not growing some of your own food - in your backyard, in your frontyard, on your balcony, on your window sills - you are not being responsible for yourself, or your family.

The losses of fruit and vegetable crops in the Victorian fires and North Queensland floods this past week are expected to be monumental.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

'Citizen Journalist' Photos, Videos, Eyewitness Reports, Dominate Media Coverage Of The Victorian Fires 2009 (Part One)



The Victorian BushFires 2009 (Part One) was the first Australian major news event where the public supplied nearly all of the most spectacular images and video and breaking news. The video and story of Sam The Koala's rescue being the most obvious, world famous example.

The professional news media were kept out of the most fire-savaged towns until it was all over. The images that so shocked and stunned and saddened us have mostly been taken by members of the public, and the quality of many photos and video has been excellent.

It's going to be grim seeing a pack of professional journalists picking up Walkely Awards for the Victorian BushFires 2009 (Part One), if all the 'citizen journalists' who supplied so much of the content get little or no recognition.

From a spectacular Readers Pics photo gallery in The Age :


Photo by Mulheiren Family



Photo By Hannah Phillips


Photo by Tina McCarthy



Photo by Steve Jameison

Let's hope all the major newspapers and TV news shows that have enjoyed huge audiences, and increased ad revenue, are digging deep for the Bushfire Relief charities, as few if any of the networks or daily newspapers paid for their readers pics and videos.

More Coverage Of The Victorian Bushfires From The Orstrahyun Here


Songs About "Fire" And "Burning" Banned Cut Australian Radio Playlists

Religious Extremist : "Baby Cull" Makes Angry God Burn Children To Death

Why Are We Supposed To Be Surprised That Australians Want To Help Each Other?

Mother Nature : Terrorist/Mass Murderer

Songs About "Fire" And "Burning" Banned From Australian Radio

Something very similar happened in the United States after September 11, 2001 - Australian radio stations are purging their playlists of any songs that might remind listeners of last weekend's holocaust in Victoria.

Gone from radio playlists, already, are the following songs :

Talking Heads - Burning Down The House

Bruce Springsteen - (I'm On) Fire

Midnight Oil - Beds Are Burning

INXS - Burn For You

Jessica Mauboy - Burn

U2 - Fire


While radio stations are engaged in such rampant fucking stupidity, here's a few they might have missed :

The Doors - Light My Fire

Various - Great Balls Of Fire

Madonna - Burning Up

INXS - Girl On Fire

AC/DC - This House Is On Fire

Olivia Newton-John - Walk Through The Fire

Ben Harper - Burn One Down

Various - Burn Baby Burn (Disco Inferno)

Bob Marley - Burnin' & Lootin'

Cold Chisel - Baby's On Fire

Silverchair - Ana's Song (Open Fire)

Icehouse - Touch The Fire

John Farnham - Burn For You

Bryan Adams - Hearts On Fire

Hunters & Collectors - Everything's On Fire

Peter Gabriel - Walk Through The Fire

Elvis Presley - Burning Love

John Mellencamp - Paper In Fire

John Farnham - Hearts On Fire

Usher - Burn

Jesus & Mary Chain - Catch Fire

Metallica - Jump In The Fire

Nickleback - Burn It To The Ground

Bloodhound Gang - Burn Baby Burn

Johnny Cash - Ring Of Fire

It's fascinating to note just how many great, timeless songs could make the 'You Can't Play That Now!' ban list.

If ridiculously over-sensitive radio stations decide to include all songs that include the words "fire" or "burn" in their lyrics, instead of just the choruses or song titles, they won't have much left to play at all.

Do you know how many U2 and Midnight Oil songs, for example, use words like "fire" and "burn" in their lyrics? I can't be arsed to check, but from the most vague of memory recalls, I know it's a hell of a lot.

If Australia was hit by a tsunami, would we ban all Beach Boys songs?

Definitely one of the most ridiculous fall-outs of the Victoria Fires 2009 (Part One) I've found so far. No doubt, it won't be the last.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Back To The Shed, Ponting

A 10 year old survivor of the Victorian bushfires is basking in a moment of glory, after he took on Ricky Ponting in an improvised cricket game at a relief centre and clean bowled him :

To the crowd's delight, and with a wry smile, Ponting headed for the sheds as the youngster, Koby, took over batting duties.

"I was actually trying today," the Aussie skipper said with a grin.
The kid should be proud. But then again, it was Ricky Ponting at bat. Great story, and probably the most worthwhile thing the Australian cricket team will do this year. I don't know if they knew they were going to have to improvise as counsellers to totally shattered people, and a lot of very upset kids, but they did a magnificent job.

More Here

Video Of Ponting Getting Done Over By A 10 Ten Year Old Is Here

"C'mere, Mate, You Alright, Buddy?"



Correction : apparently the above photo is by John Vickery and the below clip was vidded by CFA volunteer Braydon Groen





Sam The Koala, from the above clip is now recovering from mild to serious burns

10,000 Native Animals Dead, Injured In Fires

Sam became the most famous koala in the world when firefighter David Tree stopped to give him a drink amid the devastation of the Victoria fires.

The image provided a much-needed picture of hope in a week filled with news of despair. Yesterday Sam was recovering in Mountain Ash Wildlife Shelter.

Carer Jenny Shaw said she suffered burns on her paws and was in a lot of pain, but was on the road to recovery.

She was put on an IV drip and is on antibiotics and pain relief treatment.

"She is lovely - very docile - and she has already got an admirer. A male koala keeps putting his arms around her," Ms Shaw said.

"She will need regular attention and it will be a long road to recovery, but she should be able to be released back into the wild in about five months."

Mr Tree said he was surprised by the reaction to the photograph, which was snapped by a fellow CFA volunteer on a mobile phone.

He said he was in the middle of backburning at Mirboo North when he saw the stricken koala.

"I could see she had sore feet and was in trouble, so I pulled over the fire truck. She just plonked herself down, as if to say 'I'm beat'," he said.

"I offered her a drink and she drank three bottles.

"The most amazing part was when she grabbed my hand. I will never forget that."

UPDATE :
While the human toll of the Victorian bushfires is now likely to reach 300, with more than 80 remaining missing today, the animal toll has also been revised up. Way, way up :
More than a million native animals may have perished in Victoria's fire inferno, a wildlife expert says.

Ms Chappell is among those working to rescue the animals and says the extent of the devastation may never be known.

"It (the animal death toll) will be in the hundreds of thousands, possibly millions," Ms Chappell said.

"We are not just talking the animals we are familiar with, there are gliders and all sorts of possums, antechinus (a mouse-like marsupial), bandicoots, birds - there is so much wildlife."

It is feared endangered populations of gliders, owls and lizards may be among the dead.

For those that have survived, the recovery process will be long and slow.

"They have lost their homes too and they are not going to be rebuilt in a year or two years, it is a much longer-term picture," Ms Chappell said.

"You can't reconstruct a forest."

UPDATE : Sam The Koala is reunited with her rescuer, fire fighter David Tree :

"Who knows if she recognised me or not but I would like to think so," Mr Tree said.

"I got a bit choked up because it has been such an emotional week. It was just good to see her doing well.

"This has been a really tough week for everyone so it is good to have one happy ending.

"She was pretty friendly, she gave me a bit of a sniff and we touched noses."

Of course the koala remembered her rescuer. Look at her face, total eye contact.



UPDATE : Sam The Koala is recovering well, and has made a special new friend, Bob :

Colleen Wood from the Southern Ash Wildlife Shelter that is caring for Sam and Bob said both koalas were doing well while other animals like possums, kangaroos, and wallabies were also starting to emerge from the debris.

She said Sam had suffered second degree burns to her paws and would take seven to eight months to recover while Bob had three burned paws with third degree burns and should be well enough to return to the bush in about four months.

"They keep putting their arms around each other and giving each other hugs. They really have made friends and it is quite beautiful to see after all this. It's been horrific," said Wood.

"Sam is probably aged between two to four going by her teeth and Bob is about four so they have a muchness with each other."

Beautiful.



.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"Baby Cull" Makes God Burn Children To Death

The Next Prime Minister Of Australia (after Julia Gillard and Brendan Nelson), Peter Costello, has a friend in Jesus. And that friend is named Danny Nalliah of Catch The Fire ministry, for whom Costello delivered these Sunday School level theological musings.

So does Peter Costello agree with Pastor Danny Nalliah that :

....these bushfires have come as a result of the incendiary abortion laws which decimate life in the womb.
He's talking about legalised abortion, or as the ABC's Andrew Bolt calls it "the baby cull."

Here's crazy Pastor Danny, back in November 2008, doing what End Timers do best, spouting off about their dreams of death and destruction :
“I saw a man firing randomly with a weapon at people on the streets and many were falling dead. I was very disturbed and was crying. Then the scene changed and I saw fire everywhere with flames burning very high and uncontrollably. With this I awoke from my dream with the interpretation as the following words came to me in a flash from the Spirit of God, ‘My wrath is about to be released upon Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of the innocent children in the womb. Now, call on My people to repent and pray!’”
What sort of fucked up diety burns so many children to death because the state they live in has legalised abortion?

Victorian fire chiefs issued their own warning of apocalyptic fires for country Victoria on November 2, 2008. Surprisingly, using science and experience, they were far more accurate on the scope and scale of the holocaust to come :



If you click on the above you can see they picked Marysville and Kinglake as ground zero for the destruction they accurately forecasted. Here's the story :

Horror Fire Warning : Water Supplies, Urban Fringe At Risk

Melbourne's urban areas and precious water supplies have been identified as major fire danger zones ahead of an impending horror bushfire season.

Fire chiefs have warned of an extreme season expected to come earlier and last longer following a record dry start to spring and forecasts of a hot summer.

Melbourne's urban fringe has been identified as a particular risk zone, with the Mornington Peninsula, the Dandenongs and the Alexandra and Macedon regions told they should be on high alert.

Far East Gippsland and communities north of Horsham and around Bendigo have also been warned they are at risk of severe bushfires, fuelled by the absence of spring rainfall.

Department of Sustainability and Environment chief fire officer Ewan Waller said the threat was genuine.

"Those areas are rapidly drying out and becoming susceptible to bushfires," he said.

Melbourne experienced its driest September and October on record this year, Victorian Bureau of Meteorology figures reveal.

Statewide, Victoria had its third driest start to spring of all time.

Dave From Albury spotted Catch The Fire's sickening exercise in tragedy porn, and nailed it.

UPDATE : Peter Costello is all so very vague when he gets around to commenting on what his Friend In A Vengeful God Full Of Wraith has to say on the link between abortions and bush
fires :
"To link the death and suffering of bushfire victims to other political events is appalling, heartless and wrong,'' said Mr Costello, who has lost a Christian friend in the fires.
"Those who have suffered deserve ever support and sympathy. It is beyond the bounds of decency to try to make moral or politcal points out of such a tragedy.''
Fine, but does Costello also believe God burned children to death because Victoria legalised abortion?

Mother Nature : Terrorist/Mass Murderer?

By Darryl Mason

Whose fault is it that so many died in the Victorian bushfires?

Is the Vic government blaming arsonists because they failed to manage the land and bush?

Is it the fault of Greenies, who opposed the burning of scrub and forests to protect the habitats of our cutest little critters, with a Fuck The Humans attitude that has now cost hundreds of lives?

Were regular burn-offs in and around The Valley Of Death actually dissuaded by local councils and tourist businesses because tourists panic when they see a beautiful little village wreathed with burn off smoke and flee back to the city?

Were 'tree changers' dangerously ignorant about the dangers of living amongst so many highly combustible trees?

Should we just accept that apocalyptic fires have swept back and forth across this land for hundreds of millions of years and sometimes humans get in the way and that's just the way it is?

There's a rising anger and bitterness slowly surfacing all over the media, in letters and comments and talkback about Who We Should Blame. Greenies? Global Warming/Climate Change? Those opposed to GW/CC policies? God? Arsonists? Power lines too close to trees? Outdated evacuation plans and policies? So many choices, it's hard to pick just one.

The liveliest, most outraged comments are coming from the public right now, while few professional opinionists are yet go where this ABC News commenter has. It's bitter, but for some it is bitterly accurate :

Give me a home among the gum-trees
With lots of cinders + exploding gum-trees...
A Greenie or two, a charred kangaroo.....
And a burnt rocking chair... the place that I abhore...
a little bush retreat... where the CFA never call.....
And the National Debate, or National Brawl, will get a whole lot more nasty than that, long before any Royal Commission reports begin to surface.

Maybe it's all part of how we deal with this ongoing, emotionally shattering, horrorshow. Maybe we need all the righteous fury, disgust and Blame Them! opportunism to get through this.


.

Haven't They Suffered Enough?

It's a tragedy that never ends.

Eddie McGuire To Host Bushfire Appeal Telethon

It could have been worse. Daryl Somers is itching to return to Channel Nine.

------------------------------

By Darryl Mason

Okay, yes, that was a bit cruel. But if so many of the survivors of the Victorian holocaust are able to shrug their shoulders, smile and even have a laugh about losing everything, then we can ease up on the griefosity a bit, as well.

The Channel Nine Telethon will, hopefully, raise many millions to help the 4000+ homeless people of country Victoria. They're going to need it. They didn't just lose families, friends and their homes, many also lost their jobs in local farming and tourist-related businesses that were also wiped out. And probably gone forever.

The logistics and costs of finding accommodation for all these homeless people is monumental. Where will they all go? Where will they now find jobs and income and community? The scale of death and destruction, probably 200 people gone and more than 1000 houses, farms and local businesses destroyed, is staggering, but the work to come to help and house all the survivors and get them back into somewhat normal lives is of a task load rarely seen in Australia, at least since Cyclone Tracy.

And the good news out of all of this tragedy? That Australians will go out of their way to help fellow Australians, and show incredible generosity and national community when they're in trouble.....But is this really news?

It's great to see it, but the very same media that continually tells us, preaches to us, on how divided we are from each other, and so very often roars and wails about the 'great chasms' that separate us in our society - teenager vs adult, country vs city, immigrant vs born here, rich vs poor, privileged vs unlucky, Sydney vs Melbourne - now reveals that, what a surprise, most Australians are good people and really do care what happens to all the others, like them, who also share this magnificent, and sometimes extremely cruel, island.

Australia's are reportedly donating $1 million an hour to charities to help the Black Sunday survivors, and the people of Melbourne are now being asked to stop donating food and clothes and tents, as there is no room left in the emergency centres to store the kindness of so many.

Apparently, what survivors really need today is mobile phone chargers. So they can get their one means of communication happening again (since you can't find public telephones fucking anywhere anymore), so they can contact those who don't know if they're alive, so they can get back in touch again with those who love them and worry about them the most.

There's so much news, so many stories, from all this horror, it's easy to get numb and to tune out when you hear the 100th tale of 'How I Survived'. But some stories can still make you choke and shudder a few tears. This is just....so fucking Australian :

The flood-affected residents of Ingham in north Queensland are putting their own problems aside the help the victims of the Victorian bushfires.

The clean-up and recovery in Ingham began this morning after one of the worst floods in the region's history.

About 200 residents lined up at the community recovery centre this morning to receive financial assistance from the Queensland Government to replace items lost in the floods.

Many of them have lost everything but say their plight is insignificant compared to the loss of life and damage caused by the Victorian bushfires.

Communities Department spokesman Peter McCarthy says many of them are giving their grants to help bushfire victims.

'I'm going to give this money straight to the Victorian fire appeal so you may as well write this cheque out to them, not to me'.

So how long will the Attention Of The Nation remain focused on the holocaust in country Victoria? West Australian online newspaper readers appear to have overcome at least some of their National Grief, just enough, to worry instead about Miranda Kerr, and sky stuff :




Photo by Andrew Caird, from this extensive gallery of images



/

Monday, February 09, 2009

A Holocaust Of Fire, Cyclones Of Flames, Burn Hundreds To Death


Photo submitted to a Herald Sun readers gallery by Chris Roche

By Darryl Mason

The scope of the destruction, the scale of human tragedy of the apocalyptic Sunday fires in country Victoria, Australia's worst bushfire disaster, is beyond comprehension.

More than 100 dead, almost 1000 homes, properties and business destroyed, entire towns and villages in country Victoria laid to waste, some 350,000 hectares burned.

Reading through dozens of stories, listening to the stories of remarkably calm and lucid survivors on radio, trying to take in all those images of horror on TV, of entire towns obliterated by fire and cyclonic winds, of lone firefighters taking on five and six story high walls of flames with a single hose, of frantic survivors trying to find missing friends and family members, it's impossible to summarize any of it, all of it.

Again and again survivors describe "firestorms" that barreled in from nowhere and swept through faster than a train killing almost everything they touched. Why didn't they leave sooner? Why wasn't everyone evacuated? How did this appalling horror become reality, here? In this age? With all our technology? How can more than 100 people burn to death like this?

It's like a tragedy from another century. But in some areas the office tower tall walls of cyclonic fire roared through 30 kilometres of bush and scrub in less than an hour. The glow on the horizon, that distant plume of smoke, came and laid waste to a house, a farm, an entire village, in the time it takes to make a cup of tea and a sandwich and watch a few overs of the cricket.

The visuals that haunt and linger now are of all those cars, reduced to grey and black metal husks, some all alone on charred roads, others rammed into each other in piles of six, seven, eight vehicles outside of towns with names that are literally scorched into our national consciousness, three cars almost melted into each other with a power pole slammed down amongst them, and what looks like black strips of melted rubber along some roads which may mean people were trying to outrun the flames when the tires of their cars caught fire and fell apart.



Right now it appears that at least 30 people were burned to death in their cars trying to get away from the flames that, for many, came on them with little warning, or no warning at all. Some were up at home, watching news of fires that must have seemed so far away, until the sky turned almost instantly black with smoke. Some had a few minutes to attempt their escapes, some would have had less than one.

Right now, Australian soldiers who thought they would never see anything worse than scores of civilian casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, are helping to recover the corpses from burned out cars, in some vehicles whole families, with their pets and photos and treasured possessions, and digging through the wreckage of hundreds of farms and homes looking for those still missing. What they are seeing is worse than anything insurgents and terrorists in foreign lands unleashed, this is home, Australia, countryside that some of these soldiers have known since their childhood, beautiful Australian country towns and villages once lined with ancient trees and postcard-beautiful old wooden homes that have stood strong for more than a century, all of them gone.

Late yesterday afternoon, the bodies of those who tried to run away from the flames and perhaps found another skin-melting wall of fire instead of escape, were still lying by the sides of black roads that once carried locals and tourists through some of the most picturesque countryside you could ever hope to see. Some of the bodies were covered with blankets pinned down by rocks, a makeshift effort at giving the dead some dignity.

This isn't just, or yet, another Australian bushfire tragedy. Between 20,000 and 30,000 bush fires break out in Australia in an average year, few claim any lives, or burn any homes. Nobody has ever seen anything like this, not here, not the oldest of locals or the most experienced of soldiers or rescue workers or the thousands of incredibly brave fire fighters or the busloads of specialists now streaming in to help recover and deal with all the dead.

And it's not over yet.

One absolutely shocking, jarring example of the holocaust that consumed a small country's worth of Australian bush land on Sunday: it appears more people were killed outright than seriously burned by these fires.

There are more dead than severely injured.


Photo submitted to Herald Sun by Simon Bourke


The fire came in like a 'beast' :

...flames more than 15 metres high leapt through treetops in a seemingly unstoppable advance. Houses burst into flames as gas cylinders ignited, sending fire into the blackened sky.

One Raywood CFA member who helped extinguish a shed and caravan fire off Maiden Gully Road described the fire with its intense heat as the worst he had seen.

"It was pitch black, the heat was enormous, with flames 15 to 20 metres high as it crossed the road," Ian Henley said.

Mr Hanley described the fire as selective in the way it burned towards the more densely populated suburban areas of West Bendigo.

"It was like it came up to something and said, 'No, I don't want you — I'll take you.'

"It had a mind of its own, like a beast," he said.

More survivors talk of the super deadly fires in Kinglake as though the flames were living, thinking entities :
It seemed the fire was hunting the residents of Kinglake, according to survivor Jason Webb.

The survivors, some carrying everything they now own, spoke of an afternoon summer sky blackened by smoke and a giant orange fireball that hung over their town as flames engulfed their homes and killed their neighbours.

"It didn't seem that bad and then the smoke just blacked out the sky and it had a real ominous feel about it," he said.

"Suddenly it just turned really nasty, almost like it was going to walk past us and went 'Hang on there's some houses over there' , and it just turned and came straight at us."

Gary Hughes :

They call it "ember attack".

Those words don't do it justice. It is a fiery hailstorm from hell driving relentlessly at you. The wind and driving embers explore, like claws of a predator, every tiny gap in the house.

Embers blow through the cracks around the closed doors and windows.

We frantically wipe at them with wet towels. We are fighting for all we own.

Patrick Carlyon :
....no one yet could know just how many gruesome revelations awaited.

Of six people dead in a car accident in Kinglake.

Of the badly burned Kinglake man kept alive for six hours by being submerged by friends in a pool.

Of the Marysville firefighter who lost his wife and daughter while fighting the blazes.

Of the motorcyclist burnt alive in St Andrews.

Of the woman who left fighting the fires to save her goats who was found dead by her son in a shed.

A badly burnt man and his daughter turned up at a property where Marie Jones was staying. He had skin hanging "off him everywhere".

The man told her: "Look, I've lost my wife, I've lost my other kid, I just need you to save (my daughter)."

As hard as it is may be to comprehend, there are worse ways to die in a bushfire than to be immediately consumed by flames. There are two terms that yesterday were unfamiliar, but are now part of the vocabulary of discussing these fires. One is "ember attack". The other is "radiant heat". And as fire fighter after fire fighter explained in interviews, radiant heat kills :

A University of Melbourne senior lecturer in fire ecology and management, Kevin Tolhurst, said the radiant heat - the heat given off by the fires - would itself have been enough to kill. "When it gets close, you have enormous radiation loads."

The "survivability" distance of Saturday's heat was about four times their height - a 35-metre high fire would directly imperil those within 140 metres.

The body would get over-stressed, the core temperature would get too high and the metabolism would break down in those conditions. He said bushfires produce their own volatile gases which in turn burn - and on a day as hot as Saturday, it does not take much for them to ignite.

Dr Tolhurst said people could be surrounded by a series of spot fires. Breathing would become difficult due to burning gases and the body would dehydrate quickly. Death from a form of asphyxiation was also possible.

And finally, another remarkable tale of survival, thanks to a horse :
Mr Sexton grabbed his horse, Jeune Mark, the offspring of 1995 Melbourne Cup winner Jeune, a cold beer from the fridge and walked out the gate. They started trotting, but just a few hundred metres from home they were confronted by flames.

"As we got up around the corner the flames just went absolutely sick, so I thought we'd turn around and try and race back. But the fire came up behind us, it came down from the hill, and we were just bloody engulfed, and I just thought to myself, 'That's it. This is where I'm going to die,' " he said.

But then something remarkable happened, perhaps by accident, perhaps not. Jeune Mark pushed him over a guard rail, and after a short wrestle with the horse he stumbled and raced down to the Traralgon Creek, on his own, and lay in it.

"I was screwed. I was covered in flames," he said. But after lying there for two or more hours, and after noticing that the flames had past, Mr Sexton emerged from the water and followed the creek towards home.

Jeune Mark....was standing in the paddock, the worse for wear, with burns around his eyes and nose, but still alive.
Dozens of fires are still burning in Victoria and New South Wales. The days ahead will be cooler than the record breaking heat of the past week, but winds are still unpredictable. There could be more to come.

Australia's Worst Bushfire Disaster

The Dead Zone : Dozens Killed In Kinglake, 550 Homes Destroyed

"The Man Up The Road Is On Fire"

John Fergeson : From The Air, It's Like Armageddon

Sunday, February 08, 2009



The massive Moon hangs low over Sydney Harbour, sinking into the horizon, shrouded with bushfire smoke, at 3.58am, Saturday night. A truly awesome sight, before the dangerous and no doubt very deadly day ahead.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Dozens Die In Blistering Heat And Firestorms


Screen capture detail from an uncredited photo off the ABC News front page

UPDATED : The death toll of the country Victorian bushfires as of Sunday night are 100 dead, dozens injured, 1000 homes, properties, businesses destroyed. Full Report Is Here.

Previously....

The people of New South Wales, Victoria and South Australia were warned the fires and the intense heat on Saturday were going to be deadly, and now terrible headlines hitting around the world confirm the worst.

At least 40 people in the country Victoria bushfires are believed to have burned to death, as of midnight Saturday, and there may be as many as 50 more dead from the effects of the 46-48 Celsius temps in parts of New South Wales, Victoria and South Australia. At least 100 homes have been lost in country Victoria, but fire crews and rescuers have still not reached a number of towns and villages hit by the fires.

Firecrews are taking on hundreds of blazes and firefronts across Victoria, fighting in what the Victorian premier, John Brumby has called "the worst fire conditions in history". Fires in New South Wales have yet proved to be as deadly, or as widespread, but Sunday is expected to produce record temperatures and high winds across areas already ablaze.

There aren't enough firefighters or fire trucks to deal with the firestorms in Victoria. A terrified man called in to the ABC to report that the Victorian town of Kingslake was "engulfed in flames." Calls for help went unanswered, fire fighters were busy elsewhere battling dozens of blazes.


Screen capture detail from a photo by AAP's Simon Mossman

This is just incredible :

Fires are becoming so big that they are creating their own weather.

Senior weather forecaster, Terry Ryan, says thunderstorms are forming over fire-affected parts of west Gippsland.

"We call it pyrocumulus, where all the ash coming out of the fire causes lifting and convection, and can cause a thunderstorm-looking top," he said.

"You can get thunderstorms and lightning coming out of the top of the fire basically, and that can add to the fire's effect, a bit of a nasty feedback effect that can occasionally happen."

And today - with temperatures in parts of New South Wales, Victoria and Adelaide to be even hotter than Saturday - may prove to be even more tragic, more destructive, more deadly.

* Live streams of emergency broadcasts for Melbourne and country Victoria on ABC Radio here.

* Dedicated ABC News page on the Victorian fires here

UPDATE : More on that ABC News phone in report that the Victorian town of Kinglake has been destroyed in the fires. Six people are now confirmed to have died in the Kinglake fires :

Resident Peter Mitchell told ABC Local Radio the town was at the mercy of fires which swept through it after a wind direction change.

Mr Mitchell said there was no-one to fight the fire because fire crews were already fighting other fires across the state.

He was forced to leave his home to shelter at the local fire station.

"The whole of Kinglake is ablaze, I live a couple of [kilometres] out of town, I heard explosions, by the time I got to the road there were fires everywhere," he said.

"[There is] flame everywhere, trees exploding, gas tanks exploding, buildings on fire, it's very, very, very serious.

"I can't quite see down into the main stretch of town, but there's a lot of flame coming up from there, so I presume most of the town is going up."

Denise was heading home from her mother-in-law's house just outside Kinglake when she was forced to turn back as fires bore down on the town.

She was spared, but others were not so lucky. "The whole town is gone," she said.

She said her mother-in-law's house was surrounded by flames. "Everything around us is burning.

"Trees are burning, things are blowing up, there are a lot of houses burnt to the ground. A lot of houses ... "


UPDATE : Melbourne just experienced it's hottest day on record, according to the Herald Sun : 46.4 degrees. When the heatwave broke, in the late afternoon, temperatures plunged 17 degrees, in one hour.

The Hotalypse

By Darryl Mason

I don't remember seeing lead stories on the evening news, or 'Horror Heatwave' newspaper front pages, when the temp hit the mid-40s in Western Sydney, as it seemed to do every summer, when I was a kid. It was summer, it was always fucking hot, and you got under the sprinkler if you couldn't handle the heat.

I don't even think those days of steaming humidity soaked summer were even called heatwaves by the older locals back then, who could always remember a summer's day "A lot bloody hotter than this I'll tell you". I don't think the Channel Seven or Channel Nine news even mentioned how hot it got out west. But it always seemed to be about ten degrees Celsius above whatever they claimed the temperature hit in the city centre.

We weren't told to stay out of the sun back then, and only weird kids had water bottles on their bike frames, but it was parentally recommended that you ride your pushie through the sprinkler a few times before you set took off on a day hot enough to make the tar road stick like toffee to your pushie's tyres.

So how different is Fucking Hot now, to back then, apart from our inability to function as a society without bottled water?

No doubt there's a fair bit of mediastyria about these days of intense heat. Records have been broken across NSW, Victoria, South Australia, we're told, the longest stretch of over 40 Celsius days ever seen, since 1939, since 1982, since whenever.

It seems so....bizarre. There are so many stories in today's papers warning us all TO STAY INSIDE. Not just kids, or the elderly. Everyone. DON'T GO OUT UNLESS YOU HAVE TO.

Have we ever been so publicly warned by premiers and health experts not leave the house? To check on elderly neighbours? To keep the kids inside? To watch for blazing trees on the horizon? But above all, to stay calm?

I'm sure there is a certain amount of exaggeration to these dire warnings, but it's clear authorities want as few people on the roads, on the trains, on the streets, as possible, in the cities and towns that will fry today and tomorrow. The less people outside in the heat, the less likely they are going to need help is the way I'm presuming they're thinking. Except for a Squishy run, I'll be sticking to that advice.

The city morgues of Melbourne and Adelaide are full, the refrigerated trucks are ready, and this weekend of 'Horror Heat' could kill another few dozen people, maybe even a few hundred if the firestorms that firefighters are now shitting themselves in expectation of come into reality sometime in the next 36 hours.

If these week and more long stretches of above 40 temperatures really are some kind of preview as to how most summers of the future will unfold - thanks to global warming, or normal (but freakish in the short term) long-term climate change cycles - then it's clear that the infrastructures of our cities and towns are not set up to take what Nature is unleashing on us.

That bitch.

Actually, the premiers of both Victoria and South Australia were heard over the past week or so stating exactly that : our public transport, our electricity grids, our city infrastructure were not built to cope with eight or twelve day long stretches of above 40 temps. I don't know how true those statements are, but its kinda unnerving to be told our cities cannot cope with what could well become a yearly reality.

If we can expect such long bursts of eyeball stinging heat to become a regular part of a Sydney, Melbourne or Adelaide summer, a few years on we'll be seeing people bailing on their easterly towns and cities for cooler climes, as some now flee the mild winters for the warmth of Darwin or Perth.


UPDATE : Weird days of a brutal summer. The lingering smoke from local bushfires drifts into the room, here at 3.26am, it's a good smell, familiar of childhood, when local bushland seemed to go up every year, but the smoke now, while light, is also heavy with the possibility of a truly terrible day ahead, if the fires spread, if the winds are worse than expected and firestorms erupt, if some insane, homicidal bastard decides to go for a bush walk with a box of matches.

It's easy enough to get sucked into the mediastyria and expect the worst, but it really does feel like some terrible things are going to happen to too many people in this country in the next two days. Here's hoping Nature surprises us again, by not following through on the threats of a deadly hot weekend.

Anyway, some hopefully helpful advice if you don't already know how to cope with the heat :

* Forget water restrictions. If you want to hose down the kids in the backyard, or fill up that abandoned wading pool, go for it. And if you can find that old lawn sprinkler in the garage, pull it out and plug it in and get under it. And don't forget the pets.

* Bailing on your un-airconditioned house for a cooler shopping mall or cinema is always an option, but consider how you and the passengers in your car will shape up if you get stuck in dead traffic, or if your car shits itself on the way there, or back. Don't expect the NRMA to be able to reach you, or that you'll be able to find water or shelter easily.

* One of the more dramatic (but realistic) warnings that have been sounded in the past couple of days about the Weekend When The Heat Wave (Supposedly) Ends reminds us that we are pretty much fending for ourselves. There aren't enough cops, fire crews, rescue crews or ambulances to cope with what could be some extremely serious heat-related chaos. Except for extreme emergencies, you and your family and your neighbours are on your own.

* A simple anti-heat solution from my own childhood - if you don't have air-con, or if the power shuts off - all you need is a fan and a spray bottle filled with water. It's amazing what a difference misting up the air in a room, or soaking down yourself, cooled only by a fan (a hand fan if neessary) can make. It's better than nothing.

* While it goes without saying you should drink plenty of water, if you're inside and sweating like Wayne Swann working a calculator, you might want to eat a couple of pieces of bread slathered with Vegemite, or eat something else salty. It'll make you feel better.

* If you're a balcony food grower like me, don't forget to move your veggies and herbs out of the full sun for the better part of the day.

* Wherever in your home the cat or dog has decided to shelter, get down there as well. Flat on your back on the floor is much cooler than standing, or even sitting.

That might be it for me this weekend. This laptop has a habit of shutting off when the temperature in here hits 35 or 36.

Goodluck.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Obama : "There Are White Folks, And Then There Are Ignorant Mother Fuckers Like You"

For once, I haven't made up a headline quote. Obama did say this and it's on tape. You can hear Obama cutting loose with the M15+ language here.

Unfortunately, this is not President Obama dealing it out from his podium. It's the author Obama doing a reading from his Dreams Of My Father autobiography, impersonating a high school friend who was full of sage-like advice and wisdom.

My favourite :

"You Ain't My Bitch, Nigga. Buy Your Own Damn Fries!"

This is pretty good, too :

"So what happens when we go out to a party with some sisters? I tell you what happens. Blam! They on us like there's no tomorrow. High school chicks, university chicks, it don't matter..."

How quickly will these Obama lines get mashed up? No doubt, thousands are already hard at work, transforming his recorded lines into a multitude of brilliant, crappy and bizarre ear candy. Can't wait to hear some of it.

The Boston Pheonix scored mightily with this.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

They Don't Make A Bad Soup, But The Flesh Is Quite Gummy


These photos have hit just about everyone's e-mail box, and the abandoned baby koala, who climbed into a bucket of water to escape Victoria's extreme heat, is so goddamned cute you could almost cry.

Almost.

Until you see this screengrab from another pic :



Kill It! Kill It!


The rest of the photos by Tracey Young are here.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Rudd Is Still Messing With Their Minds

Most Australians don't care about the nation falling into deficit. Why would they? Why should they? Even $20 or $30 billion in the hole won't affect their lives negatively, it will work to their favour, as long as the money is used to repair and upgrade the schools their children attend and get some real infrastructure rebuilding and modernisation underway.

PM Rudd is actually on fire, just a little, during Question Time right now (2.08pm), as he hammers opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull for "being against fixing the primary schools". It's devastating. The Liberals have allowed themselves to be painted as being anti-public school renovation. Even if it's not true, this is likely the impression most will take away from the evening news reports.

Turnbull's opposition to what Rudd is now calling a $42 billion package to "rebuild the nation" is a masterstroke in self-destruction, as Bernard Keane at Crikey points out (excerpts) :

At about 10.30 this morning in the House of Representatives the Opposition walked into a baseball bat. It caught them flush across the head. BANG. Then they got up and invited the wielder to swing it again.

The wielder -- Kevin Rudd -- won't need to be asked twice.

Refusing to back the Government's stimulus package, which Malcolm Turnbull announced in the chamber this morning, is a truly colossal -- indeed, almost suicidal -- error by the Opposition.

The Coalition and much of the media haven’t worked out that politics has for the moment changed completely. A crisis mindset has taken hold and voters are in no mood for anyone getting in the way of it being addressed with urgency.

Rudd will be delighted with the Opposition's stupidity. But he won't be celebrating. Instead, he'll be flexing his muscles and practising his swing. That mild-mannered, bespectacled bloke will be swinging the baseball bat, hard and without pity. And he's going to hit the Liberals again, and again, and again, and again, and he's not going to stop until they're a bloodied mess.
Who put Turnbull up to coming out against the StimuPak #2? Was it Costello's boys?

By Q2 of Question Time, Turnbull looks shocked, totally rattled, perhaps with the reality dawning across his usually sharp mind that he just got fucked, royally fucked, by some in his own party, who are, presumably, trying to knock Turnbull aside for The Return Of "The World's Greatest Treasurer."

Malcolm Turnbull, in fact nobody in the Liberals, should forget that Rudd promised, in February 2007, that he was going to mess with then PM John Howard's mind, and in turn, the collective mind of the Liberal Party.

Why would they assume that Rudd, particularly with his massively publicised attack on "neo-liberals' and "extreme capitalism" in The Monthly magazine, is not still messing with their minds?

Of course he's still doing it. It worked so well on Howard, why wouldn't Rudd keep messing with the Liberal Mind every moment he gets the chance to do so?

Who will come out of this StimuPak #2 fight looking the best? The Greens, of course. Watch the Liberals poll numbers plunge even further in this wake of this catastrofuck and The Greens favourability numbers rise, perhaps even soar. It gets harder and harder for The Greens to be painted as extremists when both Labor and Liberals are fighting to put their ideas and policies into action.

UPDATE : I don't know how long this re-interest in national politics at The Orstrahyun will last. I can feel myself fading out as I watch a second interview with Turnbull in less than 48 hours, added to what felt like two hours of Costello defying God's laws about Vanity, on Lateline.

The Good Doctor (Nelson) would have been far more apopaleptic and thereby hysterically funny, if he was upfront. But those days are gone....sadly.

I Scrub And I Scrub And I Still Can't Get All The Blood Out



An inspired piece of portraiture from photographer Emma Phillips.

The portrait has been entered in the Moran Contemporary Photographic Prize. Here's hoping it wins, it's brilliant work.

Emma Phillips galleries are here.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Too Much Instant Information....

Lachlan Wolfers on the downside of Google-everything :

My licence to engage in mild exaggeration has been put in jeopardy. Recently, I was boasting of my sporting prowess in a triathlon, explaining how I had completed the swim leg as fast as Michael Phelps, then cycled at the speed of Lance Armstrong, and then finished it off with a run that would have made Rob de Castella proud. My (so-called) friend Google-searched my time and discovered I finished in a measly 227th place, and then proceeded to embarrass me in front of a large audience.

Ouch. And here's something that never occurred to me before, probably because it doesn't apply in my case as I'm 1) not single and 2) I'm one of the lucky few whose (rented) home does not appear on Google Street View :

Whereas previously I could explain to prospective girls that I lived in a gigantic house overlooking the beach and drove a sports car, now they can simply Google my address and discover I live in a bedsit at the back of my mother's house and drive a beaten-up old Holden.
Double ouch.

These are a little suburb-ist, and some have been recycled from old jokes I used to hear when, back in the 1980s, I told people in the city that I lived near Blacktown, but they're still funny...unless you live in Campbelltown I suppose :

Q. Two Campbelltown girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a Campbelltown girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. Why did the Campbelltown girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a Campbelltown girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a Campbelltown quiz night?
A. "What you looking at?"

Q. What's the difference between a Campbelltown boy and a Campbelltown girl?
A. A Campbelltown girl has a higher sperm count.


(all these jokes were taken from an e-mail doing the rounds of inboxes in the finance industry)

One Entree, Two Main Meals

The drought is breaking in North Queensland, but the flooding is extreme, with areas described as being like "a virtual sea".

One family was forced to travel more than 70km through crocodile infested waters with their two month old baby to get back home. And they did it in a tinnie :

Independent federal MP Bob Katter has told of the family's two-hour plight to get from Normanton to their home at Karumba in north Queensland.

"It was the only way they could get back," Mr Katter said.

"They went through 15km-wide raging floodwaters, with crocodiles, to get back."


Dengue Fever Epidemic Hits Cairns

Major Roads Around Townsville Cut By Floodwaters

Bruce Highway Cut Between Cairns And Townsville, Hundreds Of Trucks Can't Deliver Food Crops

Here's a few stories you might have missed that I put up on Your New Reality :

"Wait A Sec...Are You Telling Me That In The Future I Choose You To Be My Dad And Then Send You Back In Time To Fuck My Mother So I Will Be Born So One Day I Can Send You Back Here?"


"They Bomb Us Because They Don't Want Us To Be Well Educated"


I'm A Missile, I'm Here To Kill You, But I Can Wait

American Troops In WarZones Are Threatened By Flying Killer Robots....But Whose Flying Killer Robots?

'Drug Money Is The Only Liquid Capital Investment'

Your New Reality

Monday, February 02, 2009

Depopulating His Own Brain

Evil Pagan Commo Nazi Green Lefty Enviro guy uses the words :

"contraception and abortion"
So the Professional Idiot translates for his readers :
"baby cull"
And the ABC pays this extremist to spread around his lunacy and intolerance. What an absolute nutter. Fucking funny, though.

We obviously need new safety advice on packets of condoms :
Warning : These prophylactics may kill your unplanned, unconceived child.